SVU/Bad Girls belong to their respective owners. Excerpts are from Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix and belong to J.K. Rowling.
PS – forgot to add a disclaimer for the last chapter. The song (excerpt used in the chapter 'Closer I Get to You') was sung by Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway.
Cheers!
Morning Has Broken
9:30 am – Saturday
Helen was the first to slowly awake. She still had her eyes closed but was well aware of the warm body behind her. Inhaling, Helen did her best to keep perfectly still as she stretched, trying not awaken the beautiful detective.
Mack pressed her herself close as she felt Helen stretch. "You feel really sexy when you do that…" she mumbled. She kissed the back of Helen's neck then moved slowly to her shoulder. Mackenzie's hands didn't stay still. They explored every texture of Helen's abdomen then ever so slowly; they made their way up to lightly caress the sides of Helen's breasts.
Helen moaned as Mackenzie's gifted fingers found her nipples. Mack slowly messaged them until she heard Helen cry out and threw her head back. Helen pressed herself more in to those fingers, a silent order for Mack to do more then just message them. Laughing huskily, Mack just continued her assault on those perfect nipples all the while kissing and licking her way back up to Helen's neck.
"What are you doing to me?" Helen whispered raggedly. She manoeuvred herself so she was lying on her stomach supporting herself on her forearms. Mack moved so she was laying half on top and half supporting herself on her left forearm while her other hand was busy with Helen's breasts.
Breathing heavily, Mack nibbled on Helen's ear. "Just returning the favour…ahhh Helen…" Mackenzie cried out as Helen moved against her. Helen took hold of the hand that was on her breast and guided it to where she needed it most.
Both women moaned as Mack's fingers made contact with Helen's womanhood. Unable to control herself, Mackenzie slipped two fingers in, and then sliding back out groaning out loud as she discovered Helen was already wet. Helen gasped as she felt Mackenzie inside her, moving with fingers.
Helen rested her hand over Mack's indicating that she wanted more. Gradually, Mack gave in and added more pressure only to be momentarily sidetracked as Helen pushed herself against Mack causing her to moan loudly.
"Helen…" was all Mackenzie could say as a new wave of pleasure washed over her. Closing her eyes at the new sensations she was feeling, Mack rested her head against Helen's shoulder as their bodies moved as one. Turning at the sound of her name being called, Helen was now pressed tightly against Mackenzie.
Mack held herself on both of her hands as to not crush Helen. She threw her head back and groaned as Helen wrapped her strong legs tightly around her waist bringing her flush against her. That small movement caused Helen's wet mound to be pressed tightly against Mack's own wetness, making Mackenzie's head spin.
Helen's arms went around Mackenzie's shoulders and she pulled her closer to her. "Sweetheart…I'm going to crush you…" Mack grunted before she gasped out loud at how wet Helen was. Smiling shamelessly, Helen grinded herself against Mack.
Unable to control her body's reaction any longer, Mackenzie moved with Helen. Mack's arms were shaking with the effort of trying to keep upright. But that didn't matter since Helen was intent on keeping her close.
Mackenzie closed her eyes as she buried her face in the crook of Helen's neck. She moaned out loud as the pace quickened. Wrapping her arms under Helen's shoulder, Mackenzie held on as she pushed and grinded her hips against Helens.
Helen gasped and sighed with every thrust. Her hands moved over Mack's back and rested on Mackenzie's hips. She felt Mackenzie's lips move over her neck kissing her way up to her lips.
Their faces were inches apart and both were breathing heavy. Eyes locked on each other, Mackenzie slipped a hand in between them. She slipped one then two fingers into Helen. She watched as Helen threw her head back and cried out.
"YESSS!! Ahhhh…" Helen dug her fingers into Mackenzie's shoulders and arched into her fingers. Helen had to shut her eyes at the pleasure she was getting from Mackenzie's magical fingers. Mackenzie applied just enough pressure to a sensitive spot causing Helen to moan a little to loudly.
"Sweetheart," breathed Mackenzie. "Not so loud. We wouldn't want to wake up the building…" she teased. She was getting extremely aroused at the noises Helen was making. She never knew that she could be turned on so much by someone moaning and groaning.
Grabbing Mackenzie's face in both hands, Helen breathlessly shot back, "sod you." Then kissed Mackenzie hard. In response, Mack put pressure over Helen's sensitive spot once more and Helen moaned into Mackenzie's mouth.
Breaking from the kiss with a grunt, Mack bit her lower lip and shut her eyes. She felt the pressure building. Helen saw how close Mack was and slipped her own hand in between them. Eye's snapping open, Mack felt Helen's hand find her and slipped inside her.
"Oh God! Helen! Yeah…" Mackenzie grunted out loud. Wincing in pleasure, Mack picked up the pace and thrust hard against Helen. "Please Helen! Can't…wait…"
"Come with me love…ahhhhh!!"
Both women threw their heads back and finally let go. Groaning out loud, Mack collapsed on top of Helen. Feeling arms wrap themselves around her, Mackenzie struggled to move.
"Don't move…" Helen said huskily as she stroked the muscles in Mack's back. She still couldn't get enough of them flexing under her touch. She highly doubted that she would ever get tired of feeling them or seeing them.
Mack had her head buried in Helen's neck as she mumbled, "too heavy…" and again she was unable to fight with Helen's arms. Instead, she wrapped an arm around Helen and moved so Mack was now on the bottom and Helen was on top.
Apparently, Helen loved the new position. She stretched herself over Mackenzie's body and smiled as she heard Mack sigh. Leaning down, Helen lightly kissed Mackenzie on the lips as she moved her hips. Smiling proudly as she heard the quiet moan escape from the woman beneath her, she kissed her fully.
Breaking the kiss and smiling tenderly as Mackenzie tried to recapture her lips, Helen teased the other woman by hovering just close enough then pulling back quickly as Mack tried to kiss her.
"Helen…" moaned Mackenzie. She stared at her beautiful Scot above her and pouted. Helen gave her a toothy grin and rubbed her nose with Mack's.
"Patience, love," Helen said throatily.
"But I want to kiss you now," Mackenzie pleaded. Helen gave in and kissed her deeply until they were struggling for air.
"That better?" Helen said breathlessly. She watched as Mackenzie smiled like a cat that was well fed. "I'll take that as a yes."
Mackenzie's smile faltered a little as what happened just moments before finally sunk in. Helen knew what was coming. A big dose of regret, not that she had any. But she knew Mack well enough to know that she was going to feel guilty.
"Don't even start…" Helen began. "Nuh-uh. Not one bloody word from you. I won't let you feel guilty about making love with me." Helen covered Mack's mouth with her hand. Sighing in defeat, Mack threw her hands in the air. Taking her hand off Mack's mouth, she quickly placed a kiss on her lips.
"But Helen…we were supposed to go slow…" Mack looked at Helen with concerned eyes.
Smiling devilishly, Helen's mouth was inches from Mack as she spoke sensuously; "Yankee, that was slow…" then she nibbled Mack's chin then her jaw line then moved to her neck. Helen's hands moved to cup Mack's breasts and gently kneaded them.
Eyes fluttering shut, Mackenzie could only moan as Helen's hands worked their magic. Several times, Mack tried to reach for Helen but was gently pushed away. Mackenzie lay there at the mercy of this sexy Scot and all Mack could do was grab the sheet that she laid on and held on tight.
Mack felt one of Helen's thigh's slip in between her legs and slowly pushed up. Moaning, Mackenzie tried once more to touch Helen. Instead of pushing her hands away, Helen held them down and smiled.
"Sweetheart…we're not going to go slow this time around," Helen purred. Leaning down, Helen kissed her deeply and the thigh that was between Mack's legs was accompanied with two gifted fingers.
Mackenzie's last thoughts before sensations hit her full force was that she was going to be thoroughly ravished.
12:15 pm
Legs tangled, sheets were half on the floor and half covering the two naked bodies, neither noticed nor cared. Helen rested her head above Mack's heart and watched contentedly as Mack fiddled with their fingers.
Mackenzie slightly turned her head and kissed the top of Helen's head. Helen closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of Mack's lips on her.
After a moment, Mack brought Helen's hand to her lips and lovingly kissed it. Resting the hand on her chest, Mack couldn't have been more at peace then she was at this very moment.
"Where do we go from here, Helen?" Mack asked quietly. Helen wasn't sure herself. She was really never in this position before. With Nikki, she always knew where she stood. But this time was a different story.
Lifting her head and resting her chin on Mackenzie's chest, Helen studied her for a moment.
"We've already passed the friendship stage…"
"Obviously," Mack said with a crooked smile. Reaching down and giving Mack's rear-end a quick pinch Helen giggled as she felt Mack jerk forward.
"Hey! Behave yourself missy!" Helen just scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out. Mack just smiled and placed a quick kiss on her lips.
They were quiet as realization hit them. "God…this is weird…" Mack sighed.
"Weird how?"
Mackenzie thought how to say it right. "Well…I've never made love to a friend before. I'm just not sure how to handle that…"
Nodding in understanding, Helen reached up and placed a hand on the side of Mack's face. "I'm not sure how to handle that either. But now that we're both here, don't you think we should give it a go?"
"Well…yeah. But we don't even know each other. We've been friends for, what, less then a week, and here we are, naked…I mean, I'm not supposed to want my friend that way…but I want you so much…my head hurts at how much I want you…." Mack threw her hands up in frustration. "God, I suck at this…"
"Not at all. You're doing brilliantly." Helen tenderly placed a kiss on Mack's cheek. "Let me get this straight, you want me more then just as a friend but you think it's not right to be having thoughts about me that way, yeah?"
Nodding, Mack ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah…pretty much. Sounds better when you say it."
"Exactly what thoughts were you having about me anyways?" Helen asked playfully. Seeing the blush rise on Mackenzie's cheeks, Helen laughed softly.
"Helen, I'm serious." Mackenzie pleaded.
"I know, love. You think this is easy for me too? I thought I'd be with Nikki for the rest of my life. Grow old with her, drive each other mad…" Mackenzie saw how much Helen lost in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. It's obvious you love her very much. I do wish things were different for you."
Nodding, Helen buried her face into Mackenzie's chest. Mack felt the warm tears as she held Helen. Nothing would have prepared her for the wave of emotions that washed over her.
As Helen's tears subsided, Mack brushed away Helen's hair as it fell over and tenderly smiled.
"Ok?" She whispered softly. Helen nodded and rested her head on Mackenzie's shoulder. They were quiet once again, both lost in there own thoughts. Helen's hand lightly traced the muscles in Mack's abs.
"Can I ask you something?" Helen asked quietly. She stopped what she was doing and looked up to look into Mackenzie's eyes. Nodding, Mack reached up and gently kissed Helen on the lips. Helen relaxed visibly which got Mack wondering what got Helen so nervous.
Helen wasn't sure how to ask something so personal. Chewing her bottom lip, Helen thought about changing her mind until Mack made the decision for her.
"Is it something personal?" Mackenzie asked curiously.
Helen nodded then quickly added, "You don't have to answer if you don't want…"
Smiling at how cute Helen was when she rambled on, Mack gently cut off the flow of words. "Honey, I won't know until you ask. Go on, ask me anything…"
Inhaling, there was no turning back now. "Well…I noticed that there were…on your back…" She felt Mack stiffen slightly. "You don't have to…"
"Helen, it's alright. You saw my scars?" She watched as Helen nodded and scooted closer. Mackenzie was quiet as she tried to figure out how to explain those ugly marks. When people found out about them they would pull back as if she were contagious. Mackenzie didn't care about them or what they thought but the woman she held in her arms…her opinion of Mack would no doubt make or break her.
Taking a deep breath Mack prepared herself for the worst. "So…which do you want to know first? The 'who' or the 'how'?" She tried to sound as if it really didn't affect her when inside, all she wanted to do was hide. She didn't want to see Helen's reaction, she never wanted her to see or hear this part of her –the fact that Helen saw them made Mackenzie terrified.
Even after all these years and months of therapy, Mackenzie still felt like something was wrong with her that she deserved what happened to her. Like a freak of nature.
Eyes held concern, anger…and love? Mackenzie knew that was impossible. There's no way Helen could love her. She was seeing things.
"Who would do this to you?" Helen whispered with concern and anger laced together. Mackenzie tried to look away but Helen gently held her chin. Mack had no choice but to look into Helen's eyes.
Closing her eyes so she would have to see Helen's reaction, she whispered, "my mother…" Helen gasped and quickly covered her mouth. She could have sworn she heard wrong. Her mother? How could a mother do that to her own child?
Mackenzie's heart sank. She truly thought Helen would be different, not like the others but as always, Mack was wrong. Pathetic! Stupid child…you'll never learn! Her mother's voice rang in her head as if she were standing in the room with them. She felt tears begin to form and quickly turned her head to the side to prevent Helen from seeing them fall.
Swallowing her pain she cleared her throat and started to move from under Helen. "I think I better go," she said softly and inched her way to the edge of the bed. She carefully reached for her shirt first making sure Helen didn't see her scars again. Slipping it on, Mack sat up and reached for her jeans.
"No wait…" Helen reached out and placed her hand on Mackenzie's back but quickly pulled it back when she saw Mack slightly flinch. "Mackenzie…" she tried again.
Without looking at her, Mack just shook her head. "It's ok, Helen. Really…I…I understand." She was having trouble getting her jeans on and Helen saw this as the perfect opportunity to get Mack to listen.
Crawling across her big bed, Helen wrapped her arms around Mack making sure she had a good grip just in case she tried to fight it. As predicted, Mack struggled to get free from Helen. Mackenzie was unable to pry Helen's strong arms from around her without hurting her. Helen tightened her hold on her. She wasn't going to escape without hearing what Helen had to say.
"Helen…just let me go…please…" Mackenzie begged brokenly. She wasn't sure how long she could hold her tears at bay.
Pressing her body close to Mack's back, she whispered in her ear. "No. Not until you listen to what I have to say. Then you can leave if you want. Until then, you have to listen…"
Mack gave up. She hung her head in defeat but kept her hands on Helen's. Mackenzie kept her eyes shut.
Helen knew this was going to be hard battle to win. "Mackenzie, you've miss interpreted my reaction. If you thought your scars disgusted me, you're bloody wrong. What your mother did…no mother would or should ever hurt her child like that…never…"
Shaking her head Mack squeezed Helen's hands, "then why would she do that to me? What did I do wrong?" Mack had tried so hard to figure out what she did wrong. To this day, she couldn't find the answers. All she got were more questions.
"You did nothing wrong. You're mother was very sick woman. A real mother…a decent human being would never raise their hand against an innocent child." Helen desperately hoped that she was getting through to Mack.
"I don't want to be like her…I'm scared I'll be like her…" Mackenzie was paralyzed with the fear that she would end up hurting Alex. She shut her eyes as nausea hit her.
Helen held her tighter. "I know without a doubt that you are nothing like your mother. The way you are with Alex…that's how a real mother is supposed to be. You love your son, Mackenzie. Remember that…you love your son."
Helen gently kissed the back of Mackenzie's head. Slowly, Helen placed a soft hand on Mackenzie's back and lightly caressed it. She felt Mack relax visibly and Helen took a chance and slowly slid her hand under Mack's top.
Mackenzie closed her eyes as she felt tender hands on her back. She relaxed as she felt Helen gently finger her knife wound then moved to the other scars. Fingers were replaced by warm lips as they went over her entire back and covered ever scar.
Helen carefully peeled away Mackenzie's top then wrapped her arms around her once more. "You're scars don't frighten me. They show me how brave you are and what you had to endure as a child. That makes you more precious to me," she fiercely whispered.
They stayed that way for a while. Mackenzie was having a hard time wrapping her head around what Helen just said. Her hands came up and held on to Helen's, which were, again, wrapped around her.
"I'm not used to this…" she started quietly. Helen gave Mackenzie a gentle squeeze and kissed her shoulder.
"All this attention you mean?" Mack nodded. Smiling, Helen nuzzled the side of Mackenzie's face. "Get used to it…there's more where that came from." Laughing a little, Mack just shook her head.
"Most people kind of stay away from me when they know or if they happen to see my scars. Like I have plague or something…" Mack said quietly. It always hurt when people would look at you differently when they knew. Some with pity and others with fear.
"You really need to change the company you keep, love." Helen said playfully.
"That's why I have you," Mack said as she turned her head and kissed Helen.
"And don't you dare forget it!" They laughed and Helen dragged Mackenzie back into bed with her. Helen gently kissed Mack at first, and then deepened it as she heard a soft moan coming from Mackenzie.
Just then Mackenzie's cell sprang to life. Both froze, startled by the sound then laughed at how silly they were. Mackenzie's ring tone sounded very familiar.
"Spice Girls? Really?" Helen covered her mouth as a laugh escaped. Mackenzie just growled and quickly planted a kiss on her lips before she sat up. Grabbing her cell, Mack put it to her ear and smiled at who the caller was.
"Hey Bud…uh…yeah, I'm ok…sounds like a good idea…sure I'll tell her…how about in an hour or so? …Good, see you guys then…love you too, Bud…ok, bye." Hanging up, Mack eyed Helen.
"Uh…you wouldn't mind joining my sister and company for some food? It's a thing we do - losing team makes breakfast." Mack explained with a sheepish smile.
Smiling, Helen nodded. "I'd love too," then reaching out she ran a hand through Mackenzie's think hair.
"Ok…I'd better get outta here and grab a shower…umph! HEY!" Mackenzie was dragged back to bed. "We're gonna be late. We only have an hour…" she said weakly as Helen climbed on top. Straddling the now willing Mackenzie, Helen leaned forward and whispered in her ear.
"Don't you worry…what I have in mind won't take that long…"
Eye's fluttering shut, Mack held on to the sheets under her as Helen proceeded to nibble her way down her body.
Oh God…
2: 15 pm
It had taken more then an hour but they didn't care. Mack and Helen were rushing down the hall with satisfied faces. Yes, they were running late but they had a whole lot of fun doing it.
They had taken separate showers to eliminate the temptation of bare skin only to have a massive make out session shortly afterwards. Now running a hand through her hair, Helen glanced at Mackenzie and smiled coyly. She quickly reached down and grabbed Mack's rear end making the other woman jump.
"Hey! Behave!" Giggling, Helen reached up and gave Mack a quick kiss. They knocked on the door as Mack put an arm around Helen's shoulders.
The door flew open. "It's about time! I'm starving!"
"Charlie!" Olivia and Brady said warningly. Throwing up her hands, Charlie just wandered off. Smirking, Mack followed Helen into the loft.
"Sorry we're late. Slept in…" Mack explained. From the blush that was slowly making it's way up Mack's neck and the smirks that Helen and Mack were receiving from Liv and Brady, no one believed that excuse.
"Right…is that what they're calling it now?" Olivia said with a crooked smile.
"You would know," Brady replied from behind. Olivia turned to see her wife standing there with her arms crossed wearing a grin on her face. Olivia mumbled something about being hungry and quickly made her way to the kitchen.
Mackenzie saw her sister's face turn a deep shade of red. Failing at hiding her smirk, Mack cleared her throat. "So…what's on the menu today?" She reached over and gave Brady a hug before she reached for Helen's hand.
Helen and Mack smiled at each other in silent communication. Brady was the only one that saw it and smiled to her self. She and Olivia shared many moments like that.
"Well, that's up to you guys…" Alex running into the room interrupted Brady.
"MAMA!!" Launching himself into his mother's arms, Mackenzie easily caught him and held him tight.
"Hey big boy! You behaved yourself?" Mack ruffled her son's hair as he nodded. Alex smiled as he noticed Helen there.
"Hi Helen!" Then reaching over he latched onto Helen's neck wanting to be carried by her. Helen swiftly took him from Mack's arms.
"Easy there Bud…"
"That's quite alright. I've missed you young man," Helen said as she adjusted Alex on her hip. Alex gave her a crooked smile that resembled the famous 'Benson smile'. They start them young, Helen thought with a smile.
"I missed you too!" Alex leaned in and gave Helen a quick kiss before he settled himself comfortably in her arms. All four women laughed at how Alex was with Helen. "Can we eat now?" Alex said in his 8 year old voice. Everyone laughed harder.
Everyone headed for the kitchen. Helen's group from last night settled down at the table talking all at once. Helen smiled at the craziness; no wonder Mackenzie loves it here. In the kitchen the two adults were getting all the ingredients they'd need for the big breakfast/lunch handing the easier things to Brianna and Sol.
Mackenzie watched Helen laugh at something Charlie had said. Alex tapped Helen on the arm and whispered something in her ear, which made her smile brightly. Mack watched as she put her arms around her son and hugged him tightly.
"Hey," Olivia elbowed Mack in the ribs startling her. Liv chuckled as her sister jumped. Sol and Brianna laughed quietly behind them. Mack glanced quickly at Helen, who caught her staring. Turning away before Helen could see the blush on her face, Mack gave her sister an annoyed look.
"What?"
"Didn't you hear anything I said?"
"No," Mackenzie mumbled as she rubbed her side. Olivia laughed harder and tossed a tomato to her sister.
"You can start with that…"
Mackenzie just grumbled. Brianna and Sol laughed along with their mom.
"That was delicious!" Helen sat back and smiled at Mackenzie.
"You should come every Friday from now on. That way we get feed every time…" Charlie said smugly.
"Says who?" Mack shot back teasingly. She leaned back and placed an arm on the back of Helen's chair. Helen looked from Mack to Charlie then back to Mack. She was an only child and never had many friends growing up so watching the easy banter flow from them was new to her and she found she liked it very much. She also enjoyed the warmth coming from Mackenzie, but that was a different matter all together.
"Says Helen. She totally kicked your a…"
"Language…" Brady interjected.
"…Butt." Everyone at the table laughed at that.
"No, no, no…she cheated. She distracted me…"
"And I'm to blame for that!" Helen said in mock shock. The laughter sounded again and Mack just winked and placed a quick kiss on Helen's cheek that got a chorus of 'awww' from everyone.
Brady smiled and asked, "What do you guys have planned for today?"
Looking down at her watch Mack saw that it was now 4:30pm. "Well, since it's late to do much…"
"Your fault…" Olivia, Charlie, Sol and Brianna said in unison.
Laughing, Mackenzie just covered her face. "Oh man…you're never gonna let me forget that, are you?" Everyone at the table, including baby Kayla, all shook their heads. "Great," mumbled Mack. Helen just laughed quietly beside her, as did Alex.
The conversations flowed as Helen and Brady started to gather the dishes up. Olivia and Mack began to discuss the plans for Helen's centre and what needed to be done. Sol and Alex debated over which superhero would win in a battle – Batman vs. Spiderman – and Charlie and Brianna talked about the latest gossip in Hollywood.
Helen was loading the dishwasher when she glanced at Mackenzie. What she saw took her breath away. Mackenzie, at some point, picked up Kayla and was making faces, getting a squeal of delight from her niece. Alex wandered over to her mom and started dancing around for the little girl, which won him a laugh. Kayla then reached out and grabbed Alex's face and planted a wet kiss on his face. The young boy laughed, as did his mom.
"She's amazing with those two." Helen turned to see Olivia standing next to her. The older Benson just looked intently at Helen. Embarrassed at getting caught, Helen busied herself with getting the dishwasher started.
"I've noticed. She's brilliant with children…" Helen said nervously. Olivia picked up on it and decided not to make it any more difficult on the woman.
"You two have been getting pretty close." She said lightly. Olivia saw Helen stiffen slightly.
"Is there a question somewhere?" Helen said coldly. As much as she enjoyed being with Mackenzie and her family, it didn't mean she had to get interrogated by her sister.
Holding her hands up, Olivia smiled crookedly. "Whoa! Easy Helen. It was just an observation, that's all."
Relaxing a bit but not letting her guard down just yet, Helen nodded. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snap at you."
"That's alright." Olivia studied her for a moment then smiled. "I was going to give you the riot act but I guess it's pointless now..."
Helen arched a fine eyebrow, "and why's that?" Olivia's smile was infectious, not like Mackenzie's though, but Helen couldn't help but smile as well.
"I was worried that my sister was getting in over her head," Liv said with a wink. Helen blushed but laughed quietly.
"What do you mean by that?" They heard a loud squeal coming from Kayla. Mack was holding her up in the air and making funny noises. Helen felt her heart stop at the sight of the two of them and felt a painful longing in her heart.
It didn't go unnoticed by the former detective. "You have any plans of having a few of your own?"
Helen turned and gave Olivia a confused look. Liv gently smiled at the other woman. "Whatever happened in your past…the pain…I know it's none of my business. All I'm saying is that if you're planning on being more involved with my sister, be honest with her. She deserves that much…and so do you."
Helen was stunned. Olivia reached out and engulfed Helen in a hug.
"If you need anything, you let me know."
Just then, Mackenzie was standing there with a jealous look in her eye.
Clearing her throat and separating herself from Helen, Olivia threw the dishtowel at her sister, "make yourself useful, will ya!"
She smiled at Helen then left to find her wife. Mack watched her sister go then looked at Helen. She closed the distance and wrapped her arms around Helen.
"You alright?" She said quietly. Helen was a little startled at the jealousy she saw in her eyes a few moments ago. Nodding Helen placed her hands on Mack's chest.
"What were you guys talking about?" Smiling, Helen placed a soft kiss on Mack's lips and she felt her relax.
"You…" Helen said quietly.
Smiling that crooked smile, Mack tightened her hold on Helen. "Yeah? Care to share?"
Rubbing her nose with Mack's, Helen shook her head. "Tonight," she said seductively. Winking, Mack slid her hands down to Helen's rear end and gently squeezed. Helen let out a little yelp and playfully swatted Mack's shoulder.
"HEY! STOP GETTING SO DAMN FRISKY IN THERE! MOM AND MAMA ARE STILL IN THE ROOM!" Charlie yelled which got her a look from Brady and a nudge from Olivia.
Glancing at them, Mack whispered in Helen's ear, "We're caught." Helen melted in Mackenzie's arms and smiled. With one last quick kiss, they made their way to the rest of the group.
That evening, Helen, Mack and Alex all sat around the TV and watched the latest Harry Potter movie. Although Alex had seen this movie a million times, he never got tired of it. With eyes wide, Alex was mesmerized.
Hermione Granger: You've done it, Neville! You've found the Room of Requirement!
Ron Weasley: The what?
Hermione Granger: It's also known as the Come and Go Room. The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has real need of it, and is always equipped with the seeker's needs.
Ron Weasley: So, say you really needed a toilet...
Hermione Granger: Charming, Ronald. But yes, that is the general idea.
Harry Potter: It's brilliant! It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back!
Helen and Mack sat on the sofa with a smile on their faces. Alex was completely taken with the movie. Mackenzie had a deep suspicion that Alex often saw himself in Harry Potter – both lost their parents; both went through terrible circumstances and of course they both had loyal friends. But through it all, both turned out just fine.
Mack had her arm around Helen who rested her head on Mack's shoulder. They watched as Alex's eyes followed Harry and his friends across the screen.
"Ok Bud, time for bed…"
Alex's head snapped around. "But mom…" the young boy whined. Mack was about to say something when she felt Helen's hand on her thigh. Quickly glancing over, she saw Helen slightly shake her head and backed off.
"Young man…" Helen started slowly. Alex sighed and slumped his shoulders in defeat.
"I know," he said miserably. Mackenzie couldn't believe it – the woman has a gift!
Reaching out and taking Alex into her arms, Helen picked him up and kissed the top of his head. Alex in return, wrapped his arms around her neck looked sadly at Helen.
"I promise, tomorrow we can finish off where we left off. But it's time for you and Harry Potter to be off to bed. Ok?" Nodding unhappily, Alex fiddled with the necklace that was around Helen's neck.
Smiling softly, Helen held him close. "Would you like mummy to tuck you in?" The past week, Helen had gotten herself acquainted with Alex's bedtime routine. She felt lucky to witness the love Mackenzie had for Alex and vice versa - Alex simply adored his mum.
"Can you tuck me in too?" Alex asked solemnly. Helen was taken aback slightly by the simple request. The simple, yet precious, task of tucking in Alex was reserved for Mackenzie only, so to have been asked to be involved was priceless.
Helen was speechless. She managed to nod and hugged Alex tight. The little boy placed his hands gently on the sides of her face and looked intently at Helen. "How come you're crying?"
Helen smiled and she felt Mack stand behind her, slid her arms around her waist and held her close. "I'm just very happy you asked me to tuck you in…"
"Oh..." Alex said. Helen smiled gently as did Mack.
"Ok partner, its time to hit the sack. Helen and I will tuck you," Mack said quietly. She placed a soft kiss on Helen's temple then gently guided them to Alex's bedroom. Helen gently placed the young boy into his bed and he settled in comfortably. Alex first held out his arms for his mama who leaned down and gave him a big hug and a kiss.
Helen stood back but again was rendered speechless as Alex held out his tiny arms for her. She knelt down so it would be easier for both them to wrap their arms around each other. Helen closed her eyes as she felt his tiny arms around her neck and she held him tightly. He leaned back slightly and placed a loving kiss on Helen's cheeks.
Mackenzie watched as her son hugged Helen tight. Her heart swelled at the sight of her son and Helen together. It was in image she would remember for a lifetime.
Helen and Alex pulled back. They smiled at each other and Helen brushed away a lock of hair that fell into Alex's eyes.
"Goodnight sweetheart. Sweet dreams," Helen spoke softly. Alex grinned sleepily and nodded.
"You too Helen…" said the little boy as he yawned. Rubbing his eyes Alex turned to his mommy, "love you mama. See you in the morning…"
Smiling at her son, Mack fixed his blanket and kissed his forehead. "See you in the morning, Bud," she whispered but it was useless. Alex was fast asleep.
Wrapping their arms around one another, the two women stood and watched Alex for a few minutes longer before Mack whispered, "Let's go to bed."
They quietly wandered through out the loft picking up toys and locking the windows and door. They then headed for Mack's room hand in hand. There they undressed each other and climbed into bed.
Helen held on to Mackenzie's arms as they wrapped themselves around her. Mack lightly kissed Helen's bare shoulder then inhaled the Scot's subtle perfume.
"He's so precious…" Helen said quietly. She lovingly stroked Mackenzie's arm as they cuddled closely to each other.
"Yeah, he is…" Mackenzie said quietly. She had a feeling that whatever her sister said earlier shook the other woman.
"You were wonderful with Kayla. Alex idolizes you…Kayla and the others…they adore you…"
"I'm crazy about them too." They fell silent, both listening to the other's soft breathing. They remained that way for moment. Helen wasn't sure where to start.
"Helen?"
Inhaling, Helen nervously played with Mack's fingers and as she did, her eyes fell upon her own ring finger. She still wore the wedding band that Nikki had placed on her finger years before and traced the simple ring with a shaking finger.
"This was the life I was supposed to have…" Helen finally spoke. Her voice was soft. Mackenzie held her tighter giving her silent support. Mack quietly waited for Helen to continue giving her all the space and time she needed.
"We kept putting it off – having kids, I mean. We were so involved with our work…we wanted to make sure everything was taken care of first that we put off having a family…'next year' I would always say…then it was too late…" Helen broke off. She remembered coming home that afternoon after getting a worrying phone call from Nikki.
"How'd it go, Love?" Helen asked. Nikki had finally gone and seen the doctor about her migraines. Hopefully Dr. Robinson was able to give her something stronger then Tylenol.
Nikki was quiet. Tears had fallen down her face the moment she heard Helen's voice on the other line. 'How do I tell her?' Nikki thought.
"Babe? What is it?" Helen was beginning to worry.
"Come home…please, come home…" Nikki said desperately. She needed her wife's arms around her.
"I'm coming Love…hang on…"
Helen shut her eyes tightly against the memory of that day and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She didn't cry when her mother had died, nor did she cry at Nikki's funeral. She wasn't going to start now.
Hearing the pain in her voice, Mackenzie scooted closer and gathered Helen up in her arms. She softly murmured words of comfort against Helen's shoulder. Mack felt helpless knowing that there was nothing she could do for the beautiful Scot.
"You can still have the life you want. Kids…a wonderful job…a wife…" Mackenzie said softly. A part of her wanted to be the one that Helen turned to in the end, the one that would hold her…she wanted to be her wife…
Whoa! Time out! Wife? Where'd that come from? Mack thought frantically. Oddly enough, the idea didn't frighten Mackenzie that much.
Shaking her head, Helen couldn't bring herself to want another woman or the life she had planned with Nikki.
"No…I can't…" Although the tears didn't fall, Helen shook with the pain of losing her hope, her dreams…her wife. Mackenzie just held her not know what else to do.
"It's ok sweetheart…it's alright…I've got you…" Mackenzie whispered over and over. Slowly, Helen finally relaxed in Mackenzie's embrace. She must have fallen asleep because her breathing became normal. Mack on the other hand was wide-awake. She laid there listing to Helen's soft breathing and gently caressing her arm.
Helen would be fully committed to Nikki for the rest of her life even if she were with someone else.
Nikki, you are one lucky woman…Mack thought.
Mack stayed up half the night with thoughts running through her mind. It was well past 1 am before she finally drifted of to sleep, her arms still wrapped tightly around Helen.
Sunday 8:30 am
"Mmmm…" Helen stretched then reached next to her. The space next to her was cold and empty. One eye popped open then the other as she realized she was alone in bed. Looking around the room, she finally got a chance to see it for the first time.
Like the loft itself, it had exposed bricks with a couple of wooden beams. A few pictures were on the wall and on the shelves – mostly of Alex and the family. There were drawings obviously from Alex and a few from other children. There was a small bookshelf as well packed with an assortment of titles.
Smiling, Helen gingerly got up and grabbed Mack's discarded t-shirt and slipped it on. Wandering around the room she noticed that there were picture frames hidden in a corner of the room of what looked to be of a diploma and a few awards.
Typical macho woman…Helen thought with a laugh. As she leafed through the various frames, she came across a picture of an angel that resembled Olivia. Helen picked it up to look at it more closely. It had been drawn a few years ago and wondered who had drawn such a beautiful portrait.
"I was 14 when I did that…"
Startled, the plastic frame fell from Helen's fingers and landed on her bare foot. Wincing and quickly grabbing her foot, Helen rubbed the spot the where the frame had landed. In a blink of an eye, Mackenzie had Helen in her arms and carried her to the bed. Mackenzie didn't let her go once she was seated. Instead, Mack gently placed Helen on her lap and inspected her foot.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you…" Mack said sadly. She avoided looking at Helen when she said it, keeping her self occupied by examining her foot. Helen immediately knew something was wrong. Normally, Mack was unable to keep her hands to herself, all of a sudden; she was avoiding Helen's eyes.
"You don't feel any pain?" Mack continued to poke and prod her foot. Helen wondered what happened to drastically change.
"Mack?" Helen asked softly.
"You're sure you're not in any pain?" Mack still avoided Helen's gaze, which only worried the Scot even more. Helen placed her hand on the back of Mackenzie's neck trying to get Mack's attention. Once again, Mack didn't make eye contact.
"I'll…uh…I'll go get some ice. Just in case…" Mack was about to get up, still avoiding Helen's eyes, when Helen stopped her by placing a hand on her chest.
Mack sat still, eyes to the ground.
"Mackenzie?" Helen whispered. She waited for a second before she reached out and took hold of Mack's chin.
Mackenzie shut her eyes just as her face met Helen's. She felt Helen gently place her hands on either side of her face.
"Open your eyes Mackenzie…please…" she quietly begged. Mack didn't want to but she didn't have a choice. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at Helen.
Helen's eyes widened. She saw that Mackenzie's eyes were red as if she had been crying.
"What's wrong?" Helen asked softly. She wondered what could have made her strong detective reduced to tears. She couldn't understand why Mack would want to hide from her.
Shaking her head and moving away from Helen, Mack looked away and mumbled, "nothing. Don't' worry about it…doesn't matter," Mack lifted Helen off of her lap and gently placed her back on the bed. Mackenzie was about to turn to go when Helen reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Tell me…" she pleaded with Mack. She wanted to make whatever it was better. Sighing, Mackenzie turned around and hung her head. The sight made Helen's heart ache. Gently tugging on her arm, Mack sat down beside Helen.
Taking a breath, Mack slowly spoke. "I was thinking about what you said last night…" Finally facing Helen, Mack reached out and took hold of Helen's hands and she looked down at them. For the first time, Mackenzie noticed the wedding ring still on Helen's finger. A new wave of tears rushed to the surface and she had to clench her jaw from crying out.
"I honestly wish I could undo what happened to you and your wife. But Helen, you can't just give up…you can't give up what you've been dreaming of…"
Helen shook her head. "You don't understand…"
"No, I don't understand. But I want to try…" Mack said desperately. Within a week of knowing her, Helen had somehow woven her way into Mackenzie's life and heart. Life was a little bearable since she had met Helen and Mack didn't want it to end.
Again Helen shook her head. "Why not? What are you afraid of?" Mackenzie asked raggedly. She cupped Helen's face and searched it.
"Please…please don't ask more from me…please…" Helen begged. "Can't we just enjoy what we have right now?"
Gathering Helen in her arms, Mackenzie nodded. "Alright sweetheart…it's alright. I won't ask…" Helen buried her face in Mackenzie's shoulder. "You're all I need, honey…" Mack whispered over and over again. Like last night, she felt Helen tremble.
They held onto each other as if they were the other's only lifelines. After moment Mackenzie pulled back and glanced down at Helen.
"As long as you're here…with me…this is the life you were supposed to have. For as long as you want it…we'll be here," Mackenzie said solemnly. She moved to cup Helen's beautiful face, her thumbs lightly caressing Helen's lower lip.
"When you're ready, I'll be here…" Mackenzie whispered before she bent her head and kissed Helen deeply. Helen was moved by the raw emotion Mackenzie had just shown.
Nikki had never been one to get soppy about her emotions, preferring to keep them under lock and key. Only on one occasion did she do that. Helen still had that love letter tucked away in her favourite book – Sophie's World.
Moaning, Helen's hands found their way into Mackenzie's hair. Mack's hands slid down to her waist and held her close. The kiss deepened even more, leaving both women trembling. Breaking the kiss and breathing heavily, Mack rested her forehead against Helen's.
The thumping of 8-year-old feet against hard wood floor broke the quiet cocoon they wrapped themselves in. Sighing, Mackenzie and Helen headed for the kitchen. Mack wrapped an arm around Helen's shoulder and Helen had hers around Mack's waist.
Helen and Mack, by unspoken agreement, pushed the conversation to the back of their minds and went on about their day as if nothing happened, for Alex's sake. They concentrated on the day ahead of them.
Neither of them said anything. Both knew that from that point on, their relationship had shifted. As they sat and listened to Alex, they wondered how they were going to make this work.
Mackenzie glanced at Helen and slowly reached out and placed her hand on top of Helen's and gently squeezed. Helen looked at Mack and smiled softly.
Yes…things were going to be very different…