A/N: You all are the best. That is all.

Inspired by "Night," season 6, episode 20.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Law & Order: SVU, its characters, or storylines. I make no money from this work of fiction, that is inspired by an episode, but otherwise created from my own mind. Any relation or resemblance to another story or a real life instance is purely coincidence.

Recovery

Chapter 10

kateandharvey

When Casey's eyes fluttered open, she found herself surprised by the disappointment she felt when she realized that she was alone in the bed. While she was no stranger to the concept that Olivia was, to eloquently say, freaked out, the more optimistic parts of her were hoping that she and her favorite detective would wake up finding themselves having grown closer together in the night. Perhaps it was juvenile, but the thought that it was possible they would even wake up in each other's arms lived at the crevices of Casey's desires.

If she admitted it to herself, the redhead felt rather guilty. She had always accepted the other woman as a friend, nothing more, and thought her feelings would follow suit. She would even go as far to say that she no longer had any hope that anything would ever happen, as it seemed it never would.

Now, however, the ADA found herself in a complete 180, with her life turned effectively upside down, and its contents falling out around her. In such dire times, she would be stupid to hide from the truth: she was not merely attracted to Olivia Benson, she had feelings for her.

Casey Novak considered herself a smart woman, and she couldn't fathom how she never realized it before. Because this—this was not a simply crush. This was not the lustful gaze of a hopeful would-be lover or the pink cheeks of embarrassment that came with a feeling of intimacy. This was real.

After feeling how the brunette's hand graced her skin, the press of her lips against her own, and the wet heat of her breath across her face as she spoke a word of agreement, Casey didn't know if she could ever go back, and frankly, if she even wanted to. (And don't even get her started on the feeling of right she felt as she fell asleep with the palm of the detective's hand pressed to her own.)

However, this wasn't about what Casey selfishly wanted. She needed Olivia, and if that meant ignoring the shot of arousal or intake of breath at the sight of her, if it meant pushing down the feeling of rightness in a moment of soft-spoken secrets, if it meant having to pretend that she did not know how Olivia kissed, the feeling of her rough palm on bare skin, or the way she tasted like raw nights and stale dreams reborn, then that's what she would do.

Casey Novak was a grown woman that had passed the New York bar. She'd put numerous cretins of the earth away, stomached the view of carious crime scenes, and gone toe-to-toe in a losing battle with people that held her future in their hands. Furthermore, she'd repressed these very feelings so far before that she'd almost completely forgotten they even existed.

She could do it again.

And if, on the off chance Olivia was even mildly interested in her, this would still prove to be beneficial. She would rather stifle her own happiness than risk what had become the most important relationship in her life. She knew for a fact that she and the detective made great friends. She had the suspicion that they would make great lovers, too, but there was no fool-proof way to know ahead of time, and the simplest solution seemed to be cautiousness.

At this point, the only thing that had the counselor rattled when it came to her relationship with the brunette was her own lack of control. She had told Olivia she would wait, and she had meant it. However, she had the smallest of worries that the "right time," would never come, and she would be left pushing the other woman too hard or playing the role of sitting duck inevitably.

Make no mistake: Casey Novak was sure about this. She was as sure about this as she was the day she decided to get into law, and she never would have let herself explore or pursue anything with such a close friend if she didn't have the intention of following it through for good. While the moment had happened, seemingly without either of their considerations, she would not have approached Olivia in the way she did if she thought it was something to be chalked up to close proximity and swept under the rug.

Yet, this was a dance that needed to be carefully executed, with no missteps, for the results to fall in her favor.

One of the most frustrating things about the sex crimes detective, albeit, one of her favorites, was her complexity. Upon their first meeting, the young ADA assumed that she would not be an easy nut to crack or a relaxed person to work with, and she was right. Submissive was not a word that fell into a description of the woman, but not for lack of feeling. You simply had to put her in the right situation for her to show it, and for Olivia, that meant any situation where she was uncomfortable.

Were she to be honest, Casey was enthralled by the puzzle that was Olivia Benson. The push and pull of never actually knowing where she stood always kept her on her toes, and while it could be most frustrating at times, the majority of her reaction to the difficulties of the detective was simply arousal.

While she was a bit of a nerd in school, and even still rather bookish and timid at home, Casey was not boring. She needed excitement, passion, tension, and healthy difference to keep herself stimulated, while also requiring a safe, comforting, and warm environment for which she could let her guard down. She found both of these things, and more, in Olivia.

It was this which allowed their friendship to blossom, and the same feeling that caused Casey to have so many thoughts about the ease at which they could move their interactions further. And while she knew that nothing was ever guaranteed in love, she found herself not worried about the potential natural outcome of the actions of the two, but simply uneasy about the innate ability the brunette had to self-sabotage.

It was this knowledge that helped the counselor reach the conclusion that she needed enough of the push to keep the woman in her realm, but not too much as to scare her away. The dial of abnormal interaction could not be cranked up all of the way in a mere 24 hours, but could also not be left alone.

With enough attention and a steady climb, the pot could, in fact, boil at the perfect temperature without leaving any burns.

It was with this plan in mind that Casey called out for her temporary caregiver from the bed, hoping to establish some sort of routine that would assist in keeping the other woman comfortable.

Moments later, the woman on the ADA's mind appeared, leaning against the bedroom doorway and sipping hot coffee out of a chipped white mug. "Hi," she greeted. She looked freshly showered, and her voice conveyed that of a night of good rest.

"Hi," the counselor replied, "I need some help."

She nodded, placing her mug down on the dresser, and moving toward the bed. "I made some breakfast," she said, lifting the redhead gently from the mattress.

"I can smell it," the other woman replied, inhaling deeply. "It smells good."

Olivia smiled, still helping to support most of the injured woman's weight. "Oh!" She said, "I almost forgot." Gently, she helped the ADA to sit on the edge of the bed, and moved to the corner of the room to grab a cane. "Look what Cragen dropped off this morning." She handed it to Casey, and smiled. "Not that I mind helping you, but I assume you'll enjoy being able to maybe get around by yourself."

The redhead nodded, "I think getting up and down might still require assistance."

"Of course," Olivia said, immediately returning to the woman and helping her stand. "But still. A little independence is definitely nice."

Casey smiled in agreement, and grasped the cane. The detective moved toward the door, reaching for her mug, and taking a sip. "What did you make?" The redhead asked.

"Pancakes and bacon." Olivia said, carefully monitoring the slow movement of the other woman. "I can make eggs, too, but didn't want them to be cold by the time you got up."

To her credit, the ADA was rather quick on her feet with the assistance. She rounded the bed with ease, and was soon following the brunette down the hall. "Fresh eggs are best."

Over breakfast, the two women chatted with ease. Even though they were unwilling to admit it, the atmosphere felt different. It wasn't bad, necessarily, but definitely different. Instead of the feeling of untouched tension between the two, it not felt like the familiar warmth of an old lover. While the passion still smoked close to the surface, there was a newborn tenderness that hung in the air. As they shared witty remarks and soft smiles over the table, there was the gentle reminder that, should they allow themselves, this could easily be their every day.

When Casey excused herself to the restroom, Olivia thought of how natural everything seemed. If she let herself go there, she could see it: long days working side by side followed by late dinners at home and nights falling into bed together, only to share a coffee pot and a car once again the next morning. She saw weekends of runs trying to keep up with the redhead, bike rides where she cursed at the other woman for not being more careful, and softball games where she enthusiastically cheered from the stands. Those weekend activities during the day would be followed by showers to erase the dirt of the day before sitting too close on the couch and watching a mindless show that only one of them liked. She could see them combining laundry, painting rooms together, and deciding who would make the next grocery run.

If perfection was real, this view definitely seemed to be it, and it was that alone that held the detective back.

It was everything she'd ever wanted, and as someone so afraid of commitment she avoided it like the plague, wanting this vision, this life, said more for her than she ever could herself.

"The doctor is coming to see you later," she said, refilling the redhead's cup of coffee. "About noon."

The ADA seemed puzzled. "It's barely been 24 hours." She said.

"Yeah," the brunette replied, "but Cragen asked how you were doing this morning, and after last night, we both think it's a good idea for you to be checked out."

Casey nearly spit her coffee. "You told Cragen?" Her eyes were wide with shock, and Olivia immediately realized what she was thinking.

Flushing a slight shade of pink, the detective shook her head. "God, no! I just told him about your stitches. I said you were laughing one minute and then suddenly nearly doubled-over in pain."

At Casey's acceptance of the reply, Olivia felt a little guilty. She wasn't lying, per say, but there was a little more to her conversation with the captain.