It was storming for the next Quidditch match, making me suddenly very popular as I set up a rain repelling spell. I ended up sitting with Ron, Hermione, John, Luna, Ginny, Marc and even Drake, who was looking tired and nervous. It was weird that everyone was there, as some of them could have easily set up their own spell, we had learnt them the week before with Flitwick, although. Luna was wearing her giant lion hat again, and once again I was impressed, it was moving and roaring, seemingly with a mind of its own. Luna was a strange one, I was not sure what to make of her, she seemed to be out of it, but always knew what was going on, she appeared insane, yet, was perfectly sane when she wanted to be. I also could not read her mind, it was as if her mind had so much going on, everything was in such total chaos that I could not get a fix on anything long enough to register the thought. I got the feeling that this was intentional, as though her mind was purposefully confused and clouded to prevent people from reading her mind. The weather made it impossible to tell what was going on, occasionally Harry would appear out the mist, then it was a member of Hufflepuff whose name I had forgotten, then Cedric Diggory, then a bludger, then a quick flash of light that might have been the snitch. It was so misty and rainy that even the commentator gave up and just started singing sing along songs to keep everyone's spirits up. Harry shot out the mist, he was going straight up, reaching for the snitch, I cursed, just flying into my view were Dementors, dozens of them floating gracefully on the wind, like an angel of fear. They were out of the non-interference wards now, I grabbed for the water in the air and swiped at them with it, trying to make them leave, it did not work, the water froze and fell to the ground. I gather more raindrops and I swiped at them again, I missed, Harry stopped flying up, he levelled out, and then he totally stopped flying and instead fell to the ground. I reached out to use the air to stop him, but by the time I could react, he had fallen into the wards that were still up around the stadium. There was nothing I could do, only the teachers could, I glanced up at the teachers' box, Dumbledore stood, there was a flash and Harry was slowly safely lowered to the ground. I let out a breath I had forgotten I was holding. The teachers exited their box, except McGonagall, "the game has been cancelled due to the interference of the Dementors," her magically amplified voice echoed around the stadium, "you are to return to your Common Room until further notice."
"He'll be okay," Luna said in her usual airy voice, "he still has a part to play."
I didn't have time to think about her words as we rushed to the infirmary, battling our way through the crowd as we went, when we reached the infirmary Harry was lying on a hospital bed, "do you think he'll be okay?" Alice asked.
"He'll be fine, Luna said so, and Luna is never wrong," John said with total surety.
"Looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?" Ron asked.
"Peaky?" I asked, "what did you expect him to look like? He was attacked by a soul sucking monster and then fell fifty feet."
"Yeah, come on, Ron," Alice said distractedly, "we'll walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see how you come out looking."
"Probably a right sight better than he normally does," Harry said, everyone turned to see him lying there with his eyes open, Hermione hugged him.
"With thought you were gone, I was so worried," she slapped him, "don't ever do that again," she hugged him again, "how're you feeling?" My Gods, talk about mood swings.
"Well, you just hit me," Harry said rubbing the side of his head, "I feel dreadful. What happened?"
"You were attacked by Dementors and fell off your broom," I reported.
"No, I meant with the match," I facepalmed.
"It was cancelled," John said.
"Oh," was Harry's only response.
"No one blames you, Harry," Hermione said nervously, "the Dementors aren't meant to come on the grounds, Dumbledore was furious, after he saved you, he sent them straight off."
"There's something else you should know, Harry," Ron said, "your Nimbus, when it blew away, it sort of landed in the Whomping Willow, and well, it's now powder."
Lupin them walked in, "can I talk to Harry and Janet only please?" I asked, the others regarded each other and left, "Harry, I'm sorry about your broom, but there's no fixing it."
"Why do they affect me so, Professor? I mean, more than everyone else," Harry looked scared as he thought about them.
"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth, they feed on every good feeling, every happy memory, until a person is left with nothing but his worst experiences. You're not weak, Harry, the Dementors affect you most, because there are true horrors in your past, horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. They attack you not because you are weak, but because you are strong, the horrors you've witnessed in your past make you the strong person I know you to be, and that's why they attack. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm scared, Professor," Harry muttered, looking down embarrassed.
"I'd consider you a fool if you weren't," Lupin said reassuringly.
"I need to learn how to fight them, you could teach me, Professor, you made that Dementor on the train go away," he looked up in hope.
"There was only one that night," Lupin said warningly.
"But you made it go away," Harry repeated.
"I don't pretend to be an expert, Harry, but yes, I can teach you, perhaps after the holiday. For now, though. I need to rest, I'm feeling, tired," Lupin did look haggard and I was beginning to notice a monthly cycle of him looking sick and haggard, then he would disappear for one or two days and return as fresh as a daisy. "The reason I asked you to stay Janet," Lupin said turning to me, "is that I want you to teach Harry occlumency, you are one of only dozen or so that I know of in the castle that can teach him, and the only one who would help. Harry in case you don't know occlumency is the shield to legilimency's sword, I take it you know of legilimency?" Harry nodded, "excellent, occlumency will not just keep legilimencers out, it will also keep Dementors at bay, as it shields your memories from their effect. Even occlumency can only go so far, if one were to ever physically touch you it would be able to take your soul out no matter how good you are as an occlumencer. Now then, I have marking to do," Lupin walked out the room.
"Harry, if you would like, we can start straight away," Harry nodded, I put my hand up to his temple and pulled his mind into mine.
I created a thought world (for lack of a better term) for us, a little bubble inside my mind, it was the field where I rode my horse back at home, but there was no-one else there. "Where? What just?" Harry asked as he spun around, "how did we?"
"Welcome to my mind Harry," I said, making an image of myself appear in front of him, "in here, I control everything. Now, you currently are disconnect from your body, don't worry, it's perfectly fine, I told Madame Pomfrey what is going on, she's sceptical, but is fine with it. Now, come, there's something I want to show you," I led Harry to the driveway in front of the house.
"Is this your house?" Harry asked looking at our house.
"Well, sort of, it is my memory of my home, but I think it is pretty accurate, anyway, come on," I led him to the library, disarming and rearming the traps as I went, "this what I wanted to show you I said pulling a book off the shelf and opened it, pulling us into a memory, it was probably a bit dramatic now that I think about it, but it seemed right at the time.
I showed him the memory of when Uncle Alistair taught me occlumency, we were sitting in the field behind the house on a hot summer's day in Texas, I was nine, "constant vigilance Janet." Uncle Alistair said, "that's the most important thing when you are an Auror, and that goes double for when your mind is at stake. A broken mind is worse than a broken body, I should know, mine's not exactly in great shape, body that is. Janet, let's start small, form your thoughts into a box and hide everything inside of it." Uncle Alistair put a hand to my temple and entered my mind, which was weird to remember, someone going into my mind in a memory. "Yes like that Janet," Uncle Alistair said happily, "now, make it into a room, yes, good, now add a corridor and then a maze. If they cannot find your thoughts they cannot mess around with them, now, that will do for today, I think you have got the basics, but keep practising."
We left the memory and reappeared in the library, "Harry, we're going to go to your head now, is that okay?" I asked.
"Of course, um, I have a question, what's going on outside, you know, around us?"
"Not much, I stopped you from seeing both inside and outside because it would make it too difficult to concentrate, I'll tell you if anything is happening." Harry nodded, "here we go, hold on to your proverbial hat," I concentrated, the library around us shimmered and flickered, we were instead floating in blackness, around us windows moved in a stream, each showing a different scene.
"Where are we?" Harry asked.
"Like I said, we are in your mind, now Harry, I want you to imagine a box and push your thoughts into that box," Harry nodded, a box faded into existence between us, and then faded out of existence, "focus Harry, focus." The box reappeared, and the memories faltered in their movement and started moving towards the box, but stopped and returned to where they were.
"I can't," Harry said, he faded slightly.
"Maybe another time then," I said returning us to our bodies.
"Wow," Harry said blinking, "that is disconcerting, how do you deal with that?"
I shrugged, "you get used to it."
"I don't think I can learn occlumency," Harry said.
"Not everyone can, but give it another try, tell me if you have any success," I smiled, "anyway, I'll leave you to rest."