"What happened after that?" Spencer continued. "The man in the lab coat made a deal with me." Hotch spoke again. "What was the deal? Exact words please." Spencer did so once again. "Alright Spencer. I'll tell you what, I'm still gonna ask your friend questions. If she refuses to answer them, you'll be tortured in her place, while she watches."
Morgan smiled for a split second: Spencer was still as smart as ever. Then he spoke. "What did you say?" Spencer answered quickly. "I took the deal, and they grabbed JJ and lead her to the other room. Then they took me over next, I was still in pain and had trouble walking, so when dragging me didn't work, they carried me instead. They put me in cuffs, and suspended me from the ceiling again. They tied JJ to a chair. The man in all black grabbed some sort torture device. I couldn't see what, cause the man was behind me. JJ could though, cause we were facing each other. I could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't good. I looked at her and told her: 'Don't tell them anything. No matter what. Okay?'"
Spencer's body tensed up. He was clearly upset, and it showed by the look on his face. He was never good at processing his emotions. So it made everything even more difficult. Morgan, Hotch and Gideon exchanged small looks of concern, before turning their attention back to Spencer. Gideon moved across the room and sat in a chair next to Hotch. "Reid, we need you to talk to us. What's wrong? Tell us what's going on inside your brain."
Spencer shed a silent tear as he answered. "I was so scared of the torture I knew I was going to go through, and I hated the idea of JJ watching it happen. That she would see me scream in pain. Then the man in the white lab coat asked JJ the first question." Morgan spoke. "Was it the same question they asked you?"
"Yes. She refused to answer. I braced myself for whatever might be coming. Then I received a painful lash from a whip, that had sharp pieces woven into the tip. I screamed out, and my body went limp for a minute. But I manged to pull myself into a standing position. JJ yelled at them, told them to stop. That they were killing me. I was able to force myself to speak to her. I told her that I was fine. That I was okay. The man in the lab coat, told her that they would stop, if she told them what they wanted. That I didn't need to suffer." Spencer paused, taking a moment to breathe. He started tapping his foot rapidly again.
"How did JJ respond?" Hotch asked him. "She told them that she wasn't the cause of my suffering. Told them she couldn't end the suffering of something she didn't start. That she wasn't the one torturing me. The men got mad. Told her that she had all the control, that by doing nothing to stop my suffering made her just as bad as them, that the only difference was that she wasn't holding the knife." Spencer made a tight fist with his right hand. It slightly shook. He was stressed. He continued.
"I was given 3 bad lashes as he talked to her. I yelled out. JJ didn't respond, knowing that I would be given another lash if she did. Over a hour went by: I was given 2 lashes each time she refused to answer him. I screamed through most of it. I saw the look in Ace's eye, when he checked to see if I was still conscious. He forced me to lift my head so he could look me in the eye. He was glad to see me in pain. But he longed to hurt JJ. I could tell." More tears ran down his face as he continued to relive the memories. He took a deep breath, before speaking once again.
"The last question she refused, I got 3 painful lashes. I was in so much pain I couldn't move. When they untied JJ, she rushed over to give me a hug. I felt so dizzy, and I asked her how much blood I lost. She told me, and then they pulled her away from me, and they forced her into the other room. He opened my cuffs and I collapsed, he caught my dead weight, right before I hit the ground. He dragged me into the other room and laid me in the middle of the room on the cold ground. I wanted to pass out. My eyes were closed and I felt JJ holding my head in her hands, she was comforting me, and talking to me. I could tell she was doing her best to sooth me. I was in so much pain."
Morgan then spoke up. "They treated your wounds right?" Spencer nodded. "I passed out after." Spencer had to take a moment to breathe. It was so hard to talk about this. He was surprised he didn't break down while he relived the horrors he went through. "What happened when you woke up?" Hotch asked. Spencer continued. "I saw JJ was sleeping. I looked at her from afar, studying her. I was trying to see if she had any cuts or bruises. I was trying to figure out if there were any signs of torture that may have happened to JJ while I slept. But I didn't see any. Thank God."
If the situation being described wasn't so screwed up; Morgan would have smiled at Spencer's words. He almost did. The fact that Spencer was so protective of JJ made him want to smile. Because he was just as protective of Spencer. The BAU was like a family. The situation being described was horrible, and he wasn't in the mood to smile. His friends were hurting. He had to be supportive.
"Please continue." Spencer did as he started to cry softly. "Then the man came in and dragged me to the other room, and once again stripped me nude and he-" Spencer cut himself off in the middle of the sentence. He couldn't say the word raped. It was a painful memory. Too painful to even talk about. Hotch spoke this time as Spencer's body shook slightly. "Spencer, You don't have to say it. We know. We want you to skip over this memory. Okay?" Spencer nodded as he silently cried. Tears were running down his face. "I was a virgin before I was kidnapped." Spencer said in a choked up voice.
"It's okay Spencer. Everything is gonna be okay. It's not your fault. None of it was your fault." Spencer leaned his head against the sofa. He was crying. His mind was deep in the memory, and his entire being was exhausted. He wanted to stop. But he didn't think he could face them, until he finished. Gideon spoke next. "Reid, I think you should take a break. Just for a few minutes, before we continue." Spencer wiped the tears from his eyes and he shook his head. "No." He said in a choked up voice. "I'm not - gonna stop." Gideon, Hotch and Morgan shared sad looks. They could see that Spencer was in a lot of pain. Hotch then said.
"Spencer, there is no shame in stopping if you need it." Spencer shook his head once again. "I don't need to stop! I need to get this over with. Stopping would just make returning to these memories more painful." Gideon spoke next. "Okay, So what happened next?" Spencer was able to pull himself together a little. "He put my clothing back on after he was done. He hurt me so bad I couldn't move. I was in so much pain, but I still told him off, the only way I know how." Morgan looked at him confused. "How is that? What did you say?" Hotch then added. "Give us your exact words." Spencer did.
"You - are - a piece - of worthless trash. When my team finds - me -and they will - find me. You will end up in prison, and when you become somebody's bitch, and get raped yourself. I hope you think of me. As you scream in pain, I hope you remember this moment, and remember that I was laughing at your pain."
Everyone in the room was slightly shocked that he did that. But also impressed. Morgan spoke first. "How did he respond?" Spencer told them how he got kicked in the gut. Morgan shook his head. "That was a bit risky, saying that to him." Then Hotch said. "Yes it was. Good job. What happened next?" Spencer continued.
"He dragged me back to the other room. He sat me against the wall, away from JJ. Then he grabbed her by her wrists and dragged her toward the door. I yelled at them, telling them not to hurt her. Telling them to stop. I said sorry to JJ as she was pulled out of the room. I was too weak to move. Too weak to stop him. I know cause I tried. I couldn't protect her. I had to listen to her screams for the next hour and a half. It was a horrible sound. At some point I screamed at them, telling them they could both go to hell."
Morgan then asked what happened when she got back. "She was set down against the wall and she pulled her knees close to her body as she shook and cried. I talked to her, told her how sorry I was. That I tried. She told me it wasn't my fault. I slowly crawled over to her. Ignoring the pain. When I got to her, I wrapped a blanket around her and asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said no. So we didn't.
At least not directly. I comforted her. I told her how I thought you guys were getting close to finding us." He explained how he knew, and JJ's response. He talked about how he was tortured again, and about the searing pain he was in when he was stabbed and how he remembered seeing Morgan's face before passing out.