Alright… ch. 9. Sorry for the long wait. I have a new beta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heeroduoyaoilover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Quatre. She's amazing! Thank reviewers, I would give a longer thanks… but I don't have time. Sorry. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I OWN NNNOOOOOTTTTHHHHHIIIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Chapter 9: To Live

A Harry Potter Fan Fiction

~recap~

Draco was about to reply, his face pleading, when they both noticed the door was open.

In the door frame stood two tall men: one with ragged, long and wavy black hair falling in his eyes, dressed in all black robes; the other slightly shorter with shaggy, light brown hair. Both stared at the two intertwined boys with a look crossed between disbelief and a steady confusion.

"Are we interrupting something?"

~recap over~

Draco's mouth hung open. He had never truly known the two people standing in the door frame, but he had seen them both.

"Sirius Black," His voice was close to a hiss. He had heard stories about how the man meant to harm Harry, and he bent over the boy protectively. The other man had a face he vaguely remembered, it's light scars prominent and noticeable against pale skin. He didn't know who this person was, but he had an aura -Draco could sense it- and the blonde immediately felt an automatic impulse, no, a need, to be as far away from this person as possible. He didn't seem like much from his looks -sort of wiry- definitely not threatening next to the man dressed in black. But Draco just couldn't resist his instincts. Draco snapped his attention back to Black, knowing he had to be the ultimate enemy; he was the one in the papers.

"Draco Malfoy," Sirius muttered in a low tone, his lips forming a difficult smirk. "Snogging my godson, I see."

"Sirius, Lupin!" Harry managed to snake out of the gaping blonde's hold. He regained his temporarily lost sense of balance due to their previous actions and ran up the the dog animagus wrapping his arms tightly around the taller man's waist.

"God…son?" Draco uttered in a voice border lining incoherence. Harry turned his emerald eyes back to the double-taking teen. Draco met those green orbs with imploring blue ones.

"Oh, uh- Draco, I have-"He paused, smiling as he eyed the two older men. "-a lot to explain to you."

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

After a moment of gaining each other's tolerance, the men and teens gathered at the kitchen table. Harry had insisted that they all sit down and talk things out. The tension between Draco and the new comers was apparent, if not blatantly displayed. Harry's eyes darted between the lot of them, worried, shy, and embarrassed. Juniper and Caine had been sent into the living room, just in case the conversation got onto confidential information, which it most definitely would. They were completely enthused in a game of checkers, laughing quietly as either of them made a step forward. They had asked very politely for this opportunity, down casting their eyes as if they had done something wrong. Harry was a bit frustrated by this.

"So, are we ever going to get to the point where I understand?" Draco asked, his voice agitated.

Harry looked up from a cup of tea in front of him, back up at the others. "Well, um… well… errrr."

"I know very well that you are not one to stutter, Potter, get it straight!" Draco hissed at the smaller teen. He was feeling very irate at that particular moment in time. Sure, any other day with any other people he'd try to make at least a "C" worthy impression to his crushes apparent god parents, but these people? Black had brought upon the death of Harry's parents and tried to kill him once, and this Lupin character seemed a bit strange, and was obviously the others partner. How could one family be so fucked up? No, he couldn't say that, his was at least a comparison.

"Malfoy boy, I do not think you're in the correct position to be bossing him around like that." Sirius snapped back, immediately on the defensive. He still didn't like the blonde-haired brat, despite what Harry had said. It was nothing personal, of course…. Well, maybe a little…. But Sirius only had his godson's well being in heart. His eye's swiveled back and forth between Draco and Harry, noting how red Harry's face was getting and how pale Draco's was. They truthfully didn't match, did they?

"You're one to talk!" Draco growled, "What right do you have to his love? You caused his suffering!"

"Are you enjoying your stay in the dark, brat?" Sirius clipped. His voice was border-line furious.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're dense!"

"My God, both of you shut up!" Lupin finally cut in, sounding annoyed. "Why do you think we're here to begin with?"

Both steamed down. Draco did so because he still felt an instinctual intimidation from the man. Sirius did so because he really didn't want to sleep on the couch throughout their entire stay together at Harry's aunt and uncle's house. He couldn't stand his mate's occasional bouts of bipolar, but he'd definitely never tell him so.

A moment of silence past, little giggles sounding in the background. Harry looked like a guilty criminal with his fidgety eyes and hands. Sirius finally took up the initiative to start the "civil" conversation. He took a deep sigh, trying very hard to avoid his natural growl, and then said, "Do you wish for me to explain, Harry?"

Harry nodded, seeming thankful for the chance to clear the knot from his throat. He wondered how Sirius was going to explain all that had happened in the past to Draco in one sitting, but he bet he'd do a much better job than himself. Harry was usually a… well… fine public speaker. He had spoken in front of the entirety of Dumbledore's Army, and if he did say so himself, he had been very inspiring. There was just something about a room full of Draco, Sirius, and Lupin that made him feel like a doing one of two things, hiding in a corner and watching the chaos unfold, or bombarding all of them with tight hugs so they wouldn't look so grim. He didn't know quite what caused this, but he was thankful for Sirius' offer.

"Alright, Draco Malfoy, grab the edge of your seat, 'cause you're in for it." Sirius grunted as he leaned back in his chair. A squeal sounded from the living room, but it was just laughter.

Draco nodded curtly, glancing abruptly at Harry. He was a bit upset that the boy hadn't told him about this before. But, then again, they had only really "known" each other for the last week. Had it been a week? He chose to do the math later and returned his complete attention to the black haired man sitting just across the table from him.

"Harry and I first met when he was just a baby, though he does not remember it." Sirius began, taking a deep breath and sinking himself into the story. "His father and I had been good friends, and soon I was granted the honor of becoming Harry's godfather. This all was for naught, though, because I was framed as the man who had slain Peter Pettigrew and betrayed my dear friends James and Lily Potter. I was sent to Azkaban, where I lay in waiting for quite a long time."

"I did hear that Peter had betrayed the Potters, but I just thought he was bragging." Draco interjected.

Everyone nodded and confirmed the rat's actions.

"Any-who," Sirius continued, letting out a great yawn and then replacing the easy laze with a serious frown. "After far too many years in that hell hole I escaped, my only purpose being to gain vengeance on that cowardly rat which had ruined my life and to do everything within my power to defeat Voldemort."

There was a brief silence as the three who had actually experienced all of this recalled the next few events, none of them smiling. Their history truly wasn't much besides a grim series of cruel ironies, but they had each other, so as long as that remained, it didn't seem anything pitiful enough for them to complain. They just had to keep on fighting.

Draco thought through the information. "How did you and Harry meet again?"

"It's rather funny, actually," Sirius scoffed. "It turns out Ron Weasley's rat was actually the same Peter Pettigrew I had been searching for. Lupin here believed the newspapers up until then, but finally put two and two together and noticed his high school crush would never betray our best friends. We attempted to capture the rat but missed our chance."

"Weasley's rat?!" Draco couldn't help but blurt out. "That IS irony!"

"I didn't simply follow my instincts on that one, Siri. The map was what proved you innocent."

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius brushed the comment off. He threw an arm lazily behind the ex-defense against the dark arts teacher's shoulders, leaning close to his face. "You always knew I was innocent."

"I heard that you had died, Black." Malfoy muttered, watching the exchange. His assumptions had been correct. The two men were together, and judging from Harry's slight smile, he knew as well.

Sirius' face turned grim once again, as his suddenly dimmed eyes roamed back to the blonde. "I thought I did die."

Remus squeezed his hand under the table.

"Bellatrix's spell hit me squarely; I don't doubt that for a second. Still, even though I thought I had fallen through the veil… I know I did," Sirius' eyes were glassy, far away, "Somehow, I awoke once again to find my friends watching over me, all but that I don't remember."

"The only explanation we have is that the veil was actually a gate of judgment, of sorts. They decide a person's worth, so to speak. If the victim is wicked, they're trapped forever between the gates, never dying or living, really." Lupin explained rather sheepishly. He had nearly died when Sirius had fallen through. Harry had, too. "Still, a few moments after Sirius had fallen through, the wispy fabricated mists had allowed the man to fall back through, seemingly unharmed by the previously issued curse. Harry had run out of the room too quickly to see this."

"Yes," Sirius picked up after his mate, grinning. He remembered Lupin's face the moment he had come out of his unconsciousness. The man had the remnants of tears streaking his lightly scarred face. "After that I had to lay low for a while, until my charges were dropped due to my "services". More likely they just didn't want to get Moony and Dumbledore on their asses after I had clearly shown my allegiance. Especially after all they did in the latest fights against Voldemort. So now, case closed, I'm sort of a free man. If you count the fact that pretty much everyone in the wizarding world still hates my guts with a passion. Don't know why…" Sirius shrugged, as if it didn't really concern him anymore. "Most of the big guys in charge are still just waiting for me to screw up, but at least they can't very well give me a death sentence on sight now."

"You talk so lightly of it, Siri." Lupin muttered under his breath.

"What about you, Mr. Lupin?"

"You may better recognize me as professor than mister." Lupin chuckled, screwing up his face at the sound of mister in front of his name.

"You taught at Hogwarts. I see. I didn't have you."

"Oh, you had me. You simply skipped to-"He looked at Harry briefly."-from what the map told me, spend a little quality time with a few of your Slytherin friends."

Draco's face became paler, if that were possible. He had forgotten about that. He wanted to tell Harry that nothing had happened between him and the other thugs; even the thought of it disgusted him. He hoped the teen didn't think the worst of him now. He had simply thought the DADA class a waste of his time, seeing as he was sort of involved, submerged in the dark arts himself. He snapped out of this rut, suddenly angry with himself. Why should he be embarrassed? He was nineteen! Surely they didn't expect him to still be completely pure, especially not him! But… well… technically he sort of kind of was… in that sense, at least. It had been the only part of him he had control over. He felt himself laugh within; feeling the scars marring his skin. Purity. He came back to reality, then narrowed his eyes, suddenly even more aware of the man's intimidating aura.

Lupin noticed the little swirls of emotions running through the boy's eyes, followed by wariness. He took it into note. Something was definitely off with the Malfoy boy. Lupin felt a strange connection to him, a tug that told him something was amiss. His instincts, though muffled by his many walls long erected, told him that he had to prove his dominance, that this Draco boy was a threat of some sort. Or maybe it was just his parent-like protection over Harry. Either way, Draco Malfoy would have to explain.

Draco wondered how he was going to ask this, how to say what he needed to say correctly, but now that he knew the story about how they knew Harry and trusted them to be safe, he needed to know why he was feeling the urge to back up into a corner with his tail between his legs, literally! He had noticed the light white scars upon the man's face, but could it be that this man was…

"There are a couple other facts that you should probably be aware of-" Lupin interrupted Draco's thoughts. Lupin had a little hunch. He had received plenty of little scratches like the one Draco wore on his cheek. He seemed rather insistent on keeping his sleeves pulled all the way down to his finger tips despite the cozy temperature of the dining room. If he was right, things were much more complicated than he once believed. He averted his gaze to Sirius, worried that he wasn't going to agree with his decision. He knew the other knew what he was talking about. They were always able to follow each other's thoughts. Sirius shrugged. "You see, Siri and I are… well… not quite normal. You do know Professor McGonagall?"

"Yes."

"She's a cat animagus. Siri, here, is a dog animagus."

Random visions of a big black dog chasing a grey tabby cat flashed through Draco's mind. He kept all signs of amusement from his face as he waited for the answer to his question, the one which he hadn't even had to ask.

"I-" Lupin stopped, gauging the teen's reaction. Draco was leaning forward in his wooden chair, eyes intense. "-am a lycanthrope, or better known as a werewolf."

The air was suddenly deathly still. Even the small specks of dust visible in the cloud-muffled sunlight seemed to catch. All eyes lay on the older werewolf, though only one set was even slightly surprised. Lupin held the blonde's eyes with his own, suddenly noticing the instinct intensify. He wanted to protect his family from this new installment. He felt the urge to bare his teeth until Draco averted his eyes first. But there was one deciding factor that was in Lupin's favor: he prided himself on his control over his darker side. Lupin straightened and gave the blonde a critical look.

"What? I don't bite… often." Lupin smirked. Draco's eyes flickered for a moment then readjusted on some other object.

"Not in a bad way," Sirius chuckled darkly as he twisted a lock of the other's hair between his fingers. He smiled at the two teens. He had noticed his mate's actions and wondered what was going on in his head, but couldn't begin to understand from where he stood. Maybe Lupin just disliked the Malfoy boy as much as he did. He continued, "Well, I think that's all we have to explain. It's your turn. Who wants to start?"

"I will," Harry finally offered. He didn't want Draco to get upset if he went off on one of his rants. Harry didn't know the entire story, not half of it, in fact. But what he could say, he would. Draco would have to fill in, if he wanted to. "I think I already mentioned a few things in the letter?"

A nod confirmed his rhetorical question.

"Since then…well," He felt his throat close up again. "Since the letter I sent you, we've gotten… closer. Draco helped me when I fell off the roof."

"Klutz."

"Shut up! I wouldn't have fallen if the kids hadn't thrown the Frisbee up there!" Harry protested.

"Sorry!" A mousy little apology from the other room sounded. Everyone suddenly remembered the kids. They were lucky they had been using whispers when discussing their species'.

"Anyway," Harry continued. "I told you about Draco's story-" The blonde stiffened beside him, Harry bit his lip, "-about his father. I've decided that I will stick with him, help him out in any way I can. Not because of empathy, but because he-"

"I don't believe we agreed on that, Potter." Draco mumbled coldly. How dare Potter just throw himself into Draco's affairs? He could get hurt! Voldemort was Draco's burden, now. Draco didn't care if it was Harry's destiny to defeat the thing; Draco had some serious revenge in mind.

"We don't have to. I've decided on my own." Harry retorted. This was not going to turn into one of their arguments. He would make sure that his crush wasn't reckless, even if it meant him being so. His parents had died first, he got first dibs. "Any-who, I didn't disregard your letter, I just…"

"Why so shy, Potter? It was just a kiss." Draco said grudgingly. He didn't like the fact that Harry got so stopped up about their relationship in front of his godparents. Draco then rethought this, and decided it was okay. Harry wouldn't really have time to become close to Draco anyway, so what did it matter?

"To be honest, Harry, I wouldn't care if you were to marry Charlie the Unicorn, okay?" Sirius straightened out. He was worried, and he didn't like the Malfoy boy, but it was just a boyfriend, just a kiss, and as far as he could see nothing had gone wrong. He didn't like the thought of it getting serious, but that wasn't really his decision. Harry had the right to whoever he wanted. Sirius just hoped that person was healthy for him. "I just want you to be… mature about your decisions."

"How mature do you want us to be?" Draco scoffed way under his breath so that only Harry could hear the comment. The raven-haired boy's cheeks turned bright red. What they didn't know was that the black dog and wolf had very excellent hearing, and were able to pick up the little exchange.

Lupin almost burst out laughing. Sirius seemed on the verge of an angry, dog-like snarl. Draco, surprisingly, backed down at once. If he had wolf ears no doubt they would be flattened. Both older canines caught this sign of submissiveness, a startling reaction for the Slytherin. Though it was obvious he showed no such action toward Harry. No, this was a matter of species.

"Malfoy," Lupin called, catching the boy's eyes with his, "mind telling us the complete story on what happened to you and your parents when Voldemort…" what was the right word, "…murdered your father?"

Draco's eyes suddenly went steely. Harry watched, worried. He knew it was a sore subject, and even he hadn't squeezed that information out of Draco, though he had definitely tried. He wanted to help, wanted to know, but something told him the matter should be dropped. Harry gave the two older males a pointed look, showing that he voted against the question. Lupin and Sirius, however, either didn't see his glance or ignored it completely.

Draco watched the two with a new-found respect of boundaries. So they both were dogs, one a werewolf or a lycanth-whatever. He felt out numbered. But neither of them seemed the type to go all crazy-eyed and wild like the only werewolf he knew. They looked rather tame, actually. The brown haired man couldn't be a werewolf, certainly. Maybe they knew about his predicament and were trying to get information from him. Though for what reason he did not know. There were the scars, the physical proof. He had heard rumors back at school, of one of the teachers being a different species. But how strange was that in a school of magic? He would have never guessed it was this man or that he was such a formidable creature. Could Draco tell them? Would they help him? Could he find some way, any way, to avoid the ultimate end and perhaps afford to live like this, as a monster? Draco had to ask, but could he give up his pride in his blood line, if there was still any left to hold onto? No. He would ask them to take care of Harry, maybe even his mother. Either way, the information would have to be dragged out of him at some point, wouldn't it? He'd rather tell. He'd rather his crush know that he wasn't giving it all up, wasn't giving him up, for nothing and no reason. But was that right?

"I don't know if that's the best question." Harry finally spoke up after the long, uncomfortable silence. "I mean, he hasn't even told me…so."

"Voldemort killed my father," Draco blurted before Harry could finish his excuse. "My father died in the action of saving my life. It's because of him I'm still here today." Draco didn't know whether to be grateful or betrayed, surely the first.

"What happened to you, how did you escape?"

"The order showed up and there was a small conflict." Draco took a deep breath. "I was nearly dead; my mother had hidden whilst all this happened. They weren't out to kill her, not before me."

Another silence, until Sirius finally asked, "What do you mean by nearly dead?" Usually it was a clean line with death eaters, a curse. There was no in between. Lupin was sitting on edge, watching the boy's every variation in emotion. He reflected that Harry had gotten into a pretty big mess. But that seemed to be the norm.

Draco felt his insides churn. How would Harry react? Did it even matter? The full moon would be rising soon; he'd have to go by then. Lupin might be tamed, but he hadn't been turned by Fenrir. Draco's 'master' was crazy, had that trait been passed down to him? He didn't want to find out, but Harry had the right to know. He would understand that Draco had to die fighting, he had to understand. The two men could think what they might; they didn't have nearly as much control over Draco as the green-eyed teen did.

"I wasn't hit with a curse." Draco managed around the knot in his throat. "I was attacked by Fenrir Greyback." He felt light headed at the confession. It made him only more aware of the changes going on in his body, of the link between himself and the more experienced werewolf, and then the different link drawing him to Harry. It was all so overwhelming.

The air went cold. Lupin straightened in his chair, giving Sirius a look that could only be deciphered as worried. If Draco had been attacked- by Fenrir, no less- then things were definitely bad. Voldemort could use this against Draco, against Harry and the rest of them. Lupin wondered if Draco knew all the facts. If he did, wouldn't he care enough for Harry not to get him as involved as he already had? Or had that even been his fault? Harry was a danger magnet, and trying to keep him out of Voldemort's affairs was like trying to hold a moth from the flame. It was impossible.

Harry stood suddenly. He had been practically forgotten in the swirl of information, but now filled the room with his own upset aura. His eyes met a startled Draco's. They harbored a betrayed air that Draco had never seen in their depths. His cheeks were pale and his mouth was in a slight frown. His eye brows scrunched together in a knot, but they were quickly hidden by black bangs.

He gave one apologetic glance to his godfather and old professor then shoved through the back door, out into the small back yard laden with snow. He gripped his arms to him, for the second time he had walked out into the cold in only a t-shirt. His emotions made his face warm, though. The sound of footsteps through the snow graced his ears, and tears formed in his eyes. Why couldn't the blonde just leave him be for a second? Warm hands grasped his from behind, followed by an equally warm body pressing against his back.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I never meant to become-" The voice, flowing from the lips brushing Harry's ear, caught on his words. "-a monster."

Harry resisted leaning into Draco's touch and quickly turned around, breaking all contact. He was angry; a simple apology wasn't going to change that. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What?"

"Why'd you tell them, but not me? How could you trust two people you've only known for about an hour, but not me? It was so easy for you, wasn't it?"

"Harry, I wasn't sure how you would react, I-"

"Do you really think that low of me; do you think I'm that shallow? I don't care if something happened to you that was out of your control!"

They stood a few feet apart now, making Draco feel strangely disconnected and cold. "Just let me talk. The only reason I felt even the slightest shred of comfort in telling the truth was because you knew them. I didn't know you were… accepting toward people like Lupin and…" he found it hard to fit himself into the same category. "… and I."

Harry's eyes softened slightly, though they still looked hurt. He closed the space between them and hung his arms around Draco's shoulders. "Draco, how could I ever not accept you?"

"It was pretty easy for you before, Harry."

"That was before, this is now." Harry smiled, running a hand through the short hair. "Draco, I don't care what you are. You should have known that."

Draco was surprised by the rapid swing in Harry's mood. He had almost been willing to accept the fact that Harry would be repulsed by him once again. He had almost wanted it that way. It would be easier. Sure, he'd have to leave on bad terms, but Harry wouldn't care about him as much. How would he leave now?

"This changes nothing." Harry muttered. "I'm still on your side. We can overcome this together, okay?"

Draco snapped out of his momentary lapse of incredulity and removed Harry's arms from him, taking a few paces back.

"No, that's not okay." He muttered quietly. "I have to do this on my own, for my parents, and now for you, as well."

"You can't do it, Draco! How reckless can you get? You'd never make it out alive."

"You think I plan to?"

Harry's eyes opened wide in realization. "You mean… you're trying to get yourself killed?"

The hurt had returned to the raven-haired teen's voice. Draco worked all of the emotions off of his face. He nodded. "Don't worry. I don't plan to go alone."

"Draco, that's called suicidal. You're not one to be suicidal." Harry said with a disbelieving tone.

"No, that's called dying with honor. I'm thirsty for revenge. Not even you can stop that need. I won't live like this." Draco said all of this with an uninterested tone. He was proud of how easily it rolled off his tongue. This was how it had to be, this was the only way everyone would get what they wanted. Still, the stricken look on Harry's face was hard to bear. He was hurting him now, but he'd be helping him in the long run. These were the means to an end.

"No."

Draco smirked at the one syllable rejection. He turned and started for the door, then changed his course to the gate through which he could travel without having to face the others. The crunching of snow sounded, and a hand caught his, sending a jolt up his spine.

"Didn't you once tell me 'you're not allowed to throw your life away'? Well, neither are you!" Harry ordered, but his voice was too shaky to sound intimidating, "and Voldemort killed my parents first, I get dibs on him! You can haveFenrir." He smiled a bit, but it was nervous. Draco turned around, eyeing him critically.

"How can I trust you with your own life?" Draco asked flatly.

"I've managed it so far. How can I trust you with yours?"

Draco seemed to be thinking. "I guess you can't. Can you, Potter?"

Harry frowned. He whined, "Draco."

"Why do you want me alive so badly? Can't you just accept that I don't want to be a monster? I can't live like your professor over there."

"Well, why the hell not? Is it so bad to live, Draco?" Harry asked incredulously. "I want you to live. I know your mother wants you to live. You've done nothing wrong, so why can't you just stop being so damn difficult and start forming a plan which you can complete and still be here?"

Draco remained silent for a moment, then finally replied, "I'll wait to leave until the full moon, that's all I can promise you." He'd just have to give in a little.

Harry let a smirk hit his features. "I'm going with you."

"No."

"Yes I am."

There was no sign of backing down in his voice. Draco sighed.

"So do you like my godparents?" Harry asked on a lighter note.

"They're… different, just like you."

"Thanks, I like them too." Harry smiled, trying to cover up the worry in his voice and eyes. He would not let anything happen to Draco, he owed it to him. "Are you going now?"

Draco smirked down at the teen, a bit angry with himself for being so controlled by the Gryffindor. He finally accepted the fact and decided it was a lost cause. He moved on impulse and lifted Harry's chin. Draco caught the teens quivering lips in his own, and felt Harry's body fold against his.

"I'll see you later." He said, his voice husky. His instincts still wouldn't let him come within such close proximity without having his body react. He forced himself to pull away, leaving both of them wanting more. His smirk grew. Apparently he had about as much control over Harry as Harry had over him. He turned without another word, and trudged through the snow to the gate, which he opened.

"Bye."

Be happy. I'm tired. I'm getting this out for you today. Review please. I promise to reply. I'll explain the twins later. Hope you all had a happy Christmas. I wanted to get this story done by Christmas… but oh well. Happy New Year!

Sincerely, xXDancerintheDarkXx