A/N:

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't updated this in a while. I do have a reason, but that reason will make everyone glare at me, so I'm keeping it to myself :)

Thank you to A_Redhead_Thing for being a fantastic beta with hardly a notice since I wanted to get this out tonight!

A refresher: Last chapter, Sookie got her wake-up call when Bill hit her after she told him about being with Eric. She went to Pam's party where Bill caught up with her and man-handled her again, and Eric stepped in. Eric and Bill fought, and Sookie went home. Eric followed her there and helped her through her breakdown since he'd been through something similar in his past. They filed a report against Bill and asked for a restraining order. Eric brought Sookie home and reassured her that he still wants her, but he's not going to do anything about it until she's ready, because... in his words: "A girl like you is worth waiting for."

Chapter 10 - I Hate What You've Done

Because a girl like you is worth waiting for…

Eric's words kept swirling around in my mind, making me unable to fall asleep. He was curled up behind me, arm draped over my waist, snoring lightly.

Because a girl like you is worth waiting for…

Was I worth waiting for? I felt like the only girls worth waiting for were the ones that really were worth it. They didn't have dramatic crap like abusive boyfriends, and funny uncles. They were the girls who did well in school and went to college. They had careers and aspirations. They certainly weren't messed up, dumb blonde waitresses.

I closed my eyes and tried to put all of it out of my head. My concerns needed to be about dealing with the aftermath of the night's events, not about Eric's feelings for me.

I'd filed paperwork to get a restraining order against Bill, and as soon as he got wind of it, he was going to be furious. After we'd gotten into bed, Eric asked if I would consider staying with him until the order was granted, and I told him that I would think about it. Having just realized that the last four years of my life were just a big pile of manipulated feelings, the last thing I wanted to do was change anything because of Bill.

Then the realistic side of my brain kicked in. Bill had finally shown his true colors. He was a violent, angry person, and there was no telling what he would do to me if given the chance. It wouldn't be a bad thing to stay with Eric for a few days. If anything, I could stay there until I got my locks changed.

I rolled over to look at him and his arm tightened around my waist in his sleep, pulling me flush against him. A small gasp escaped, and I quickly stopped breathing, not wanting to wake him. He began to snore again after a moment so I relaxed and took the opportunity to study him.

He was handsome, classically handsome. His sharp features did nothing to hide his beautiful eyes, and even though they were closed, they still remained my favorite part of his face. Next came his incredible cheek bones, and strong jaw line. Then his lips. Those perfect, kissable lips. I thought of the way those lips made me feel when they were kissing me, and my body gave a small shudder.

Yes, I would definitely be staying with Eric for a while.

With that decision made I closed my eyes, snuggled my face into Eric's chest, and fell asleep to the sound of his rhythmic snores.

I woke before him in the morning, and carefully removed myself from his arms without waking him. After a trip to the bathroom to shower and get dressed, I came back to the bedroom to discover that Eric was still sleeping. He had moved to his back, his forearm resting over his eyes, and his mouth slightly open. I stood there for a moment just staring at him and said a silent prayer. I asked for one thing. All I wanted was to see that man, in that position, even with the snoring, every morning for the rest of my life.

Another five minutes of staring was all my stomach could take before it growled loudly, so I went to the kitchen to start making breakfast. The first thing I did was take some pills for the pain I still felt. My eye looked horrible. It was darkly bruised in the middle, with a weird blue-green around the edges, and it hurt like hell. My arm didn't look as bad, but I could clearly see where Bill's hand had been, and I hated that.

I shook off the thoughts of Bill and what had happened to see what I had in the refrigerator for breakfast. Eggs, some sausage, a little ham and cheese, perfect for an omelet. I pulled out the ingredients and set them on the counter by the stove before going back for the milk, and this time when I turned around, I wasn't alone.

"Sookie," Bill said calmly.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked trying to keep my cool while inside my brain was screaming 'Get to Eric, get to Eric, get to Eric.'

"I still have a key. I wanted to ask you why you felt the need to get a restraining order against me," he said, still in that same calm tone. It was as though we were discussing the weather.

"You're kidding, right? You can see my face," I said, and set the milk down on the table between us.

"You upset me," he said, and I saw that flash of anger in his eyes.

"And you upset me right back when you hit me." I was inching around the table, hoping to get to the doorway so I could run down the hall to my room. Bill was smart though, and he inched the same way, eventually blocking me, and then he came forward, cornering me.

"I had good reason," he said. "Do you have any idea what this restraining order will do to me? Everyone in this damn town knows you. No one will give me work, and I'll have to move."

"I guess you should have thought about that before you hit me," I said, pushing my shoulders back and standing a bit straighter. I wouldn't be afraid of him. Jason had taught me how to throw a punch when I was sixteen, and you can be damn certain I had a fist waiting and ready at my side.

"I want you to drop it, Sookie. If our time together meant anything to you at all, you'll do me this favor."

"Our time together means nothing to me now, Bill. Nothing. You used me. You manipulated me. You abused me. I will not be doing you any favors."

I saw the fury in his eyes and knew he was about to attack, so I did it first. I recalled all the self-defense moves Jason had ever taught me, and I used them. All my strength went into that first punch, and while he was bent slightly I grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the balls, hard. He fell to his knees and I punched him again with my other hand since the first one was still stinging like a bitch, this time knocking him to the floor.

Then I completely snapped. It was like all the things he'd ever done to me that were wrong, the abuse and manipulation, came to the surface. Along with them came the happy moments; the ones that were now a lie. I saw nothing but the years I'd lost to the pathetic mess that was Bill Compton, and all I wanted was for him to hurt.

So I kicked him. Then I kicked him again. And then I started crying as my mouth began spewing words at him, yelling at him what each blow was payback for. The next thing I knew I was on top of him, slapping him across the face and beating on his chest until someone pulled me off. I kicked and screamed because I wasn't done yet. I was only on year two, and he had more to pay for. Then the arms that pulled me away wrapped around me and crushed me to a hard chest as a voice spoke to me.

"It's not worth it, Sookie. He's not worth it. You'll hate yourself later. He's not worth it," Eric repeated.

I let the words sink in and sagged against him. He helped me back to the bathroom and turned the water in the sink on. I watched him grab a washcloth and wet it down, and then he knelt in front of me and picked up one of my hands. I looked down and realized that he was wiping Bill's blood from my hand. Had I hit him that much? Then it really hit me that I had Bill's blood on me. I stood up quickly and ran to the sink where the water was still running. I started scrubbing my hands with the soap, desperate for his blood to be gone.

When Eric's hands stilled mine I realized that I was crying again, but I was also still angry. I turned to him and pushed him.

"Why did you stop me?" I growled at him. "Why?"

When he didn't answer I pounded my fists on his chest. "He deserves it! Why can't I hurt him? Why did you stop me?"

I kept hitting him, and I was unable to stop. I could see that his eyes were clenched shut, but I still couldn't stop. I was furious, and all I wanted was to hurt someone.

I heard Eric take in a shuddering breath, and then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him, and trapping my arms between us.

"No, let me go," I cried as I struggled in his embrace. "Please let me go. Please," I begged.

"No," he gasped, and I realized that he was crying with me.

I went limp in his arms, and we both dropped to the floor. I cried for myself, and I cried for the time I'd lost, and Eric cried with me. He shared my pain because he was the only one who had a clue of what I was feeling. He shared my pain because he loved me.

Eric rocked me back and forth for a long time, and only loosened his grip when my sobs had been reduced to hiccups.

"You'd hate yourself, Sookie. That's why I stopped you," he told me. "If you hurt him enough to think it made up for what he did to you, you would start to question if you were like him. It happened to me when I hurt others in high school. I wondered if I would be like my father. I don't want you to ever think you could be like Bill. You're not. You never will be."

I took a moment to think about what he said, and I knew that he was right. I wasn't a violent person, and I actually hated the urge I felt to hurt someone. Even if that someone was Bill. My grandmother had raised me better than that. I was a better person than that. Then it hit me that I'd not only hurt Bill, but Eric as well. I removed myself from his arms and scrambled to get to the other side of the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and started to come towards me.

"I hurt you. Jesus, Eric. You used to be hit by your father, and I hit you anyway," I said, horrified with my actions. Eric was in front of me in a second, his hands cradling my face.

"It's okay," he said.

"No it's not."

"Yes, it is. You didn't want to hurt me, you just wanted to stop the pain. You were consumed with anger. I remember what that feels like. All you did was beat on my chest a bit, Sook. I'm fine, I promise."

"Don't ever let me do that again. Ever. I couldn't forgive myself."

He pulled me against him again and rubbed my back lightly.

"We should probably go call the police and tell them what happened. I'm sure Bill is long gone by now," he said, and helped me stand up. "What happened anyway? I woke up when I heard you screaming and found you on top of Bill."

"He has a key. I didn't even think about the locks. He came in and asked me to drop the restraining order, cornered me in the kitchen, and when I refused he got angry. I hit him before he could hit me though."

Eric smiled. "I'm so proud of you for standing up to him. You can take care of yourself just fine. You always could, you just didn't think you had a need to."

I smiled up at him and took his hand. "Let's go call the police."

Bill was no longer in the kitchen when we got there, so we called the police and they told us not to touch anything, and said they'd send an officer out to document what happened. Eric and I sat together on the couch while we waited, and I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around him, letting myself be held and comforted by him.

"I know we're not defining what we are, and I think it's the right thing to do for now, but I need you to know that I do love you, and I regret what I did after we were together," I told him. "I was afraid, and…"

"I know. I love you too. And I stand by what I said. There's absolutely no pressure for us to become more than what we are now."

"What are we now?"

"We're a man and a woman who fell in love at an inconvenient time, and aren't furthering the relationship until we're both emotionally ready for it," he said without missing a beat.

"You practiced that in your head before now, didn't you?" I teased.

"Maybe," he smiled down at me, and just as he tilted his head forward to kiss me, there was a knock at the door. We reluctantly broke apart and got up to answer it.

The deputy came in with another officer, and we went to the living room so I could give them my report of what happened. After that was written up and signed, I took them to the kitchen. There was an overturned chair that I actually hadn't noticed until then. The officers gathered the evidence they needed, strongly advised that I get my locks changed, and then left.

"What now?" I asked, feeling at a loss and emotionally drained.

"I'm kinda craving whatever you were about to make this morning. How about we have some breakfast, and then we go get some supplies so I can get your locks changed?"

"That sounds wonderful."

Eric helped me with breakfast and then showered while I cleaned up the dishes. He only had the clothes he brought to wear, so he suggested that we go to his house for the night, and I agreed to it. Even with the locks changed and the beating I'd given Bill, I still wasn't quite ready to be alone.

Eric paid for the new locks, and I insisted on paying him back, but I knew he wouldn't accept the money. We had lunch at my house, and then I packed a bag before we headed to Eric's. I'd spent a lot of the day thinking, and I'd finally come to a conclusion that I needed to share with Eric, so I told him about it on the drive.

"I think I need to talk to someone about all this," I said.

"You can talk to me," Eric said and reached over the console to take my hand.

"I know, but there are things that I'm not exactly comfortable sharing with you. I feel like I can tell you anything, but there's some stuff that I just…"

"It's okay. I get it, and I'm not offended," he said and offered a reassuring squeeze to my hand. "Do you want to look into going to a therapist?"

"No. I don't like therapists. I had to see one in school when my parents died, and I hated it. I was thinking more along the lines of someone like Pam."

"Pam? Really?"

"Yes. I know her, and I trust her. And I know she would understand without judging me," I said. I almost caught myself telling him that Pam had been in an abusive relationship too, but remembered that she'd never told Eric about it, before I let it spill.

"If you're absolutely sure."

"I am."

"Okay. Want me to have her come over tonight when the bar closes?"

"I'd like that," I smiled. "Wait, don't you have to work tonight?"

"Honestly, I could stop working all together and Pam could handle it easily. I'm really only needed for the things that require my signature. Pam's a great second, she takes care of everything," he said.

"Doesn't that bother you at all?" I asked.

"Sometimes. Not that Pam's great, but that I'm not really needed. I've been thinking about opening something else, but I'm not sure what yet. There are a few promising businesses that are looking to sell."

"I think that's great, Eric."

"Will you help me with whatever I decide?" he asked.

"What? I'm not a businesswoman at all. I'm just good at the service part," I said, feeling flustered.

"I don't know about that. I think you've got a lot of potential to do more than just waitress if you wanted, but if you're happy then you should keep doing it."

"It's not like waitressing is a dream job. It's just that I never figured out what I was good at. We couldn't afford college, and I didn't have good enough grades for a full ride anywhere, so I just didn't bother looking into it. But I like being around people, so being a waitress isn't so bad."

"How about this? When I start looking into another business, you come along. You can give me your opinion, no matter what it is. Perhaps there's something else in this business you can enjoy doing that still lets you be around people," he said as his thumb moved back and forth across the back of my hand.

"I think I would be willing to do that, but you have to promise me that you're not doing this just because we're… well, because you have feelings for me," I said, and he laughed.

"Of course I'm doing it because I have feelings for you. I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I don't think you are happy doing what you're doing. If you say you are, then I won't push it, I promise."

"So it's not because it's beneath you to be with an uneducated waitress?"

"What? No. Hold on. We'll finish this inside," he said as we turned down his street.

I got so nervous from the time I asked the question to when we were sitting on his couch that my hands were shaking as he held them.

"I'm only going to say this once because I mean it, okay?" Eric asked, and I nodded.

"I would not care if you were an illiterate janitor. I would still love you, and I would still want to proudly have you at my side. I don't care what you do as a job. As long as you are happy with it, I'll be happy. You are smart, and clever, and such a kind person. You could do anything you wanted."

I couldn't say anything in response. Bill never let it be a secret to me that he hated that I was in the service industry. When introducing me to his friends he usually tried to make it sound like I was a bartender, which was somehow more respectable in his eyes, and afterward he would tell me how much he hated that I was a waitress. And now here was Eric telling me that it didn't matter to him at all, and I believed him.

"Is this some leftovers from Bill?" Eric asked.

I could only nod my answer, and when I did, Eric pulled me into a hug.

"It's okay. We'll get through it," he said.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise. Now let's go call Pam, and then I can get changed into some clean clothes," he said as he released me.

"Thank you, Eric," I said.

"Anytime, Sookie," he smiled.