Drabble #10: Fool
By: Ceris Malfoy
Summary: It was a sick cycle of love and hate, one they both wanted to be free of, but one they refused to give up.
Inspiration: Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie". This song practically screamer Megatron/Starscream to me, and I had to write it. Beware, this is not a happy story.
Continuity: Any except Bayverse.
"I'm sorry."
Starscream froze. He said nothing, merely remained standing in front of the entrance to their quarters. The quarters that, for the first time in a vorn, contained no sign that Starscream had ever lived there. Thundercracker and Skywarp had spent the entirety of the last cycle moving his things into their quarters. He would have helped, if only to avoid this confrontation, but the severity of the damage to his spinal strut had left him unable to lift anything heavier than an energon cube.
He clenched his servos. He still didn't know what he had done – one moment things had been fine, better than fine, and the next thing he knew, Megatron was beating him.
He knew Megatron loved him. Megatron loved him with an intensity that made his spark temporarily stop pulsing. And he knew that love wasn't fake; one couldn't fake anything over a bond such as theirs. And he loved Megatron just as deeply; needed him even more. Megaton was the only thing he had left; not even his brothers really cared anymore. They had made absolutely clear to him that they were only housing him until he had recovered, and then he would have to find his own way.
"Please," came the soft, hesitant entreaty, and he couldn't help glancing over at his lord and lover. Megatron was sitting on their birth, black servos clenching the edges hard enough to dent, tension causing his frame to tremble. Starscream could see just how hard Megatron was restraining himself from forcing Starscream to stay – in his current condition, there was no way he would have been able to fend off Megatron. "Please, don't leave me."
Starscream turned fully, careful in his movements. He still said nothing, merely stared at Megatron.
It had taken centuries before the two of them had managed to admit to each other that they both wanted more than just random interfacing; it had taken only two vorns for them to make the decision to bond. It had been one of the best decisions either of them had ever made – they were both more efficient and more vicious in battle, their processors were finally capable of coordinating, and what few arguments they had could be settled quickly and quietly without any other mech knowing – which did wonders for moral.
But while Megatron's fierce love for him even now sunk into his very being, he also knew that Megatron was coming to hate him as well. Megatron probably hadn't even been aware of the growing hatred until the mech had finally snapped and beat him within an inch of his life. He needed to leave before that hatred had a chance to grow any stronger; he needed to leave before that hate infected his own spark and was returned ten-fold. But….
He watched Megatron, noting the sorrowful optics, the slumped shoulders, and the tense frame. No one had ever loved him as deeply as Megatron did and no one ever would. How could he just walk away from this? One bad incident, one colossal mistake… surely they could work around this?
Starscream finally spoke. "Never again," he said quietly, knowing his lover would understand.
Megatron nodded. "Never again," he swore.
Starscream finally gave into the need pounding through his very being, and settled himself gently on his lord's lap. He sighed as Megatron's arms ever-so-carefully settled around him, mindful of the seriousness of his injuries. His lord's voice whispered quiet words in his audios; words of how he was sorry, how he would never do it again, how things between them would only get better.
Through their bond, he could feel that Megatron hated what he had done; hated that he had been the cause of Starscream's injuries. He could feel that his lover feared that Starscream would never trust him again; feared that he would leave and never look back. And he knew that his lord grieved, because they both knew that even as Megatron whispered those words, those promises, that they were nothing but lies.
Perhaps, if the damage and hateful, seething words that had been spoken as he had lain on the floor, broken and bleeding copious amounts of energon had truly been done in the heat of the moment, they might have been able to put it behind them. Perhaps if that absolute loathing wasn't growing in Megatron's spark…. But there was no going back from this. Not now, not ever.
And maybe he was a fool for not leaving now while there was still a chance for him to do so, but he loved Megatron, needed him, even when the mech was lying to him.
Like I said, this will not be a happy story. I may turn this into a 3-shot. Let me know what you think, please?