'Now?' Dean pleaded, staring at his best friend in disbelief. 'You have to go now?'

'It's my mum,' she said with strain in her voice. 'She's in trouble. We've gotta go.'

'But what about my dad?'

'I'm sorry, Dean. We both are.'

Dean ran out in search of Sam and Castiel, but they were nowhere to be found. In their place was a note reading 'Gone out for milk.' It was written in Sam's writing. Why did both of them need to go out just to get some milk? Then again, maybe it was a good thing they were both out. What exactly had Dean been planning on saying anyway? Glancing around him in a state of sudden paranoia, he dashed back to his bedroom and locked the door.

Sam took one of the spare cars they had in the parking lot of the bunker. There were a few from various occasions where they couldn't use the Impala on cases and had to steal a car to drive. He made sure to pick one of the ones with a spacious trunk and he double checked there were no weapons still laying around in it.

'Do you think this is big enough to fit lots of stuff?' Sam asked, turning to Castiel who had been wondering what Sam was doing. 'I want to get a huge tree. It probably won't even fit in the car, hold up, I'll go get some rope so we can buy a rack too and tie it to the roof …'

Sam left and returned soon after with a large length of rope which he threw in the trunk. Castiel continued to watch him. Sam stepped back looking satisfied and closed the trunk.

'How exactly are you planning to pay for "lots of stuff"?' Castiel asked. 'It's not as though anyone pays for the killing of monsters.'

'I know we usually pay cash to avoid leaving a trail,' said Sam, 'but we still have a few stolen credit cards that I don't think can be traced back to us. It's not exactly honest, but it's Christmas. We need stuff.'

'What kind of stuff?' Cas asked.

Sam shrugged. 'We'll figure it out when we get there.'

'Get where, exactly?'

'I don't know. Google good places close by. I'm sure there's somewhere.'

Castiel pulled out his phone.

There was absolutely fucking nowhere. Not in Lebanon, not in Cawker City, not in Glen Elder, not in anywhere nearby.

'So what now?' Castiel asked.

Sam thought for a moment. He looked as though he was deliberating something. It was obvious at what point he made up his mind due to the expression on his face.

'We'll go to Ikea.'

'Where?'

'It's a store, Cas,' Sam replied with an amused sort of chuckle. 'It's where Dean and I got our mattresses and some other stuff when we first found this place. Only problem is, it's four hours away, so we'll probably have to make this a two day trip.'

'A two day trip for "milk"?'

'I'll call Dean in a half hour, say we saw yesterday's paper in the store and there was something that looked like a case in it so we decided to take a look.'

'Do you think he'll buy it?'

'He'll probably be in his room reading for a week. He'll buy it.'

Castiel made a face that showed he agreed, so the two of them hopped into the car. Cas looked over at Sam, who had a very cheerful face on indeed, which confused him. He had never seen Sam this happy. Nor had he any idea that Sam was this passionate about Christmas. Surely with a passion and enjoyment of the holiday this big it would have been mentioned before? Then there was the whole matter of The First Book – surely there was so much more to be told from it than just the passage about The Savior, and shouldn't they be doing something about that? Or had Sam decided they'd just wait for The Savior to show up? Why wasn't Sam talking about the book?

But Castiel told himself to be quiet. He wasn't going to ask about it, he was just going to enjoy time with his friend who was actually genuinely cheerful for once. When was the last time he'd been even been close to happy? He remembered it was the night Cas got his grace back, met Charlie, then they all had pizza … that was fun.

It wasn't in Castiel's nature to just let himself not think about anything related to anything dark and mysterious and evil, but since Sam had invited him on a trip to do something related to nothing of the sort, he might as well try and enjoy it. Relax, chill out, just as if he were watching Netflix while pouring over some lore. Except without the lore. And with Sam, instead of alone or with Dean.

Cas had never spent an extended period of time in a car alone with Sam when they weren't planning something behind Dean's back. He supposed this time was no different, but at least they were actually planning something that was relatively normal and didn't involve, say, going to a psychic atheist's house and then breaking into heaven to kidnap Metatron. So this was a whole new experience and the lack of tension and suspense in the air was almost weird.

They drove in a comfortable silence for a while. The silence wasn't a complete silence as the radio played the role of the background noise, but it was nice. After a while Cas got curious.

'Do you and Dean usually celebrate Christmas?'

Sam thought for a moment before shaking his head.

'No. Not since we were kids if you don't count this one time where we kinda celebrated … and killed some pagan gods. But usually we don't have time or don't really notice because we're too busy with something or other.'

'Then why choose to celebrate it now?'

'Things are just less hectic than usual,' Sam shrugged. 'Sure, there's The Darkness, now The First Book, but none of us are dead, dying, possessed, marked, or in the middle of some demonic deal. So it's about time we get to do something normal for once.'

'That makes sense.'

Sam nodded in agreement, then looked at Cas and saw he looked like he was still his usual over-thinking self. Now, that wouldn't do. An idea struck Sam almost immediately which made him grin yet again. Cas needed to experience something normal for once in his life, in fact Sam did too, and since Sam was the one who knew how to create something normal despite never having these normal experiences himself, it was on him to do this.

He was going to show Cas what it was like to go on a fun trip with a friend. No monsters, no hunting, just two guys hanging out and doing some Christmas shopping.

'Hey, you know Hot Topic?'

It was the first clothes store that came into his head.

'Of course. Dean and I went there on Claire's birthday.'

'Great. See if there's one in Merriam. If not, check for one in Kansas City. That's just about fifteen minutes way from Merriam if I remember right.'

Cas pulled out his phone and did a quick search. He showed Sam the address.

'Kansas City,' he informed him.

'Great,' Sam replied, 'screenshot it in case I forget the address.'

They continued on in moderate silence for another few miles, apart from Sam's quick call to Dean announcing they were heading across state for a case, but as things began to feel more relaxed and more natural, like they weren't people with completely abnormal lives forcing themselves to be normal, things got more fun. They started to discuss different things they'd watched or were watching on Netflix, including a debate about whether they'd see Ruby Rose back on Orange Is The New Black on season four. They even started singing along to songs on the radio that they both knew which was a completely new experience for Cas because he'd honestly never sung anything in his life unless you counted that lullaby to that kid he babysat that one time, or that one shocking time he caught himself singing along to the Orange Is The New Black theme song under his breath. He didn't know what it was about that show, but he felt like he could rewatch it a thousand times and never get bored. It was so … fascinatingly human. And he was also glad that the reason Sam watched it wasn't for all the "hot chicks" which was the reason Dean watched, which Dean made abundantly clear any time it was brought up.

By the time they reached Kansas City four hours later, Castiel was thoroughly loosened up and greatly enjoying this whole "normal" thing.

It was a little after 4pm and already growing dark and it felt good to get out into the outdoor chill after so long in the car. Once out, Sam double checked in his wallet he had all of (not) his credit cards. Once he was sure he had, he and Cas headed into Hot Topic.

'At least I know the name of it this time,' Castiel commented. 'Last time I called it "The Hot Topical." It would be foolish of me to not know the name of a shop upon my second visit there.'

They had come, Sam revealed, for Christmas Sweaters. Unfortunately, there were hardly any. Luckily, there was something called an Ugly Christmas Sweater Kit, which seemed like it would be fun, so they got three. And then a sweater that was The Nightmare Before Christmas themed and covered in small Jack Skellingtons. Cas chose it, saying they should get it for Dean, because Dean probably wouldn't be the type for ugly Christmas sweaters but the thing was Christmassy enough to just about suffice.

'Okay, we'll get it, but we're still making Dean wear whatever he makes from the kit on actual Christmas day,' Sam said firmly.

That wasn't the only thing Castiel insisted upon getting for Dean. He also grabbed three different AC/DC shirts which he was sure Dean didn't have.

'Dean would never go shopping for himself, and it's Christmas after all,' was his reasoning.

Sam nodded in agreement, but was actually wondering why Cas wanted to get Dean so much stuff since he, apparently, was still pissed at Dean. He shrugged it off though.

And then … they saw it. The Supernatural section. Well, let's just say, they got more than one of almost everything there, even things geared specifically towards females. (Man, whoever owned those credit cards was gonna have a hefty bill.) Sam laughed himself silly and declared that he was buying Dean Supernatural themed panties as a joke Christmas present.

'But why would it be a joke to buy him underwear?' Castiel had asked confusedly.

Sam, who was still laughing, managed to choke out, 'because they're women's underwear, Cas.'

'What's the difference?'

'Well … they're for women.'

'But they're just an article of clothing. Clothes have no gender. They're pieces of fabric made so that the wearer is not naked.'

Laughing even more at the fact that Cas just didn't get it, Sam shook his head and said, 'yeah, but Dean won't see it that way.' After a pause, he thoughtfully added, 'although you do have a point about the clothes having no gender thing.'

When they got to the checkout, the woman smiled and asked, 'big Supernatural fans?' and then added, 'nice cosplays by the way. If you ask me, I prefer Cas's old look. The Sam hair and the Cas eyes really set the whole thing off by the way. You guys could totally play them in a movie!'

Sam smiled awkwardly throughout the entire checkout process. Castiel was completely blank faced.

'Seems like those Supernatural books are a whole lot more popular than we thought,' Sam said as they left the store.

'It certainly seems so,' Castiel agreed, then, in a manor that was quite unusual for Cas, he grinned and declared, 'I can't wait to try on all these shirts.'

Sam raised his eyebrows. He'd never seen Cas wear anything other than his usual suit and trench coat outfit for an extended period of time apart from that time after that whole attack dog spell incident when he borrowed a t-shirt and some sweats from Dean at Dean's insistence saying they were "better recovery clothes."

It was late into the evening by the time they were finished, so Sam suggested they find somewhere to grab dinner (that served coffee of course, so Cas could eat something if he felt like it) and then find somewhere to spend the night, ready for the Christmas shopping and drive home the next day.

There was a motel about ten minutes away where they checked in and got a twin room. Once they got there Sam looked up places to eat nearby. None of them seemed particularly healthy, which was Sam's preference, but then he realized something he hadn't actually thought of until that moment: this was basically a vacation. Or as close to one as a Winchester got.

'Screw it,' he decided. 'Let's go wild. McDonalds or Wendy's?'

Cas frowned. 'What's the difference?'

Sam grinned a small grin. 'I guess there isn't much of one. Let's go to McDonald's though. What's a vacation without McDonalds?'

'This a vacation?' Cas asked, a little taken aback.

Sam slapped his friend on the back. 'Yeah, Cas. This is a vacation. Enjoy it. They don't come along often. Now before we go … time for a change of clothes.'

When they left for McDonalds, they were both wearing Supernatural merchandise.

'This is quite ridiculous,' said Cas, looking down at himself, although he had a very positive look on his face. He was sporting a shirt that said "Saving People, Hunting Things, The Family Business" and it bore the anti-possession mark. He also had on a necklace that said "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." And then, hidden in his shoes, Supernatural socks. He had also swapped out his plain phone case for a Supernatural one.

Similarly, Sam was wearing a shirt that was like a business add for "The Family Business" and it had a picture of the Impala on it. To accessorize, he had a "Team Free Will" beanie on ('I think I look good in a beanie,' he said as he looked at himself in the mirror) and a multi-charm necklace. He too was wearing Supernatural socks.

McDonalds wasn't particularly crowded. They ordered two Big Mac Meals and a coffee for Cas, which he drank quickly before digging to his meal. He had never really bothered to eat before since he didn't require it to survive, but over the past few days Dean (probably trying to get back on Cas's good side permanently) had been offering and sharing a lot and boy, had Cas been missing out. He had stuff he'd had as a human that he missed and stuff that was completely new, like the McDonalds, and each new taste experience was as mind blowing as the last. On this occasion, for example, he found out he was one of the people who picked off the pickles.

The McDonalds was so good that they got seconds, plus milkshakes and McFlurrys, plus another coffee (just in case) to take with them as they headed back to the motel. Then came something neither one was used to: time to be spent in a motel where no research of any sort into any case was required. At first they were unsure of what to do, then they decided to sort out all the stuff they'd bought and try some more of it on. Cas tried on every single shirt he'd gotten for himself, which was every single shirt, including ones made for females only, since at the time he hadn't realized and now he knew he didn't care. The larger sizes fit him just fine anyway. He even convinced Sam to try some of them on, although they were tight on him. Either way, tight or not, they both took a lot of pictures of each other. Sam's absolute ultimate favorite picture of the night was the one of Cas in the girl's thermal anti-possession sleep set, clutching a Charlie string doll in one hand and a Dean one in the other, although the one of him in the dress-version of his own outfit was a close second.

After their miniature fashion show and photoshoot, they both picked out something to wear for the night. Cas opted straight for the "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition" shirt which he paired with red pajama pants covered in black and white anti-possession sigils while Sam went for a Castiel tank top (extremely tight and barely went past his belly button) and gray "hunter's checklist" pajama pants.

Next they decided to sit on one bed and watch Netflix on Cas's phone for a while. Sam had the bright idea of watching Gilmore Girls, which he hadn't watched in forever and they got through quite a few episodes of it. Every time Dean came on screen they would laugh through the entire screen, Sam repeating 'the fact that his name is Dean makes me so uncomfortable,' while Cas took a thousand screenshots per second.

'Who is that guy?' Cas wondered out loud.

'I found out a few years ago actually,' said Sam. 'Remember back when Balthazar sent Dean and me to that alternate universe where we like … actors?'

'I can recall it.'

'Okay, so I looked up all of us. Fake me, fake Dean, fake you, and they're all real people. They just don't star in Supernatural so they're not as well-known as they were, or we were, in that other universe. But guy there in Gilmore Girls is Jared Padalecki, also known as "fake me" to us.'

'I wonder how Jared would feel if he knew he looked like the great Sam Winchester,' Castiel speculated contemplatively.

'Horrified, I expect,' Sam jested.

Sam went to bed around midnight. Cas, who didn't sleep, stayed awake, in the dark, watching a few more episodes, using his new Supernatural earbuds to avoid waking Sam. When his phone battery dropped to fifty he decided to shut it off altogether (he had no charger) to save the battery. He climbed under the covers of the bed, then grabbed the Charlie and Dean dolls off of the ground where he'd left them. He stared at them in the dark.

He started at the Dean doll first.

Come on, Cas, it whispered. It won't mean anything. I promise.

Castiel swallowed. He was over it. Sure, when Dean made some stupid joke or said something controversial Cas got unnaturally butthurt over it, but for the most part he was over the events of the night of the Netflix binge. He was stupid, Dean was stupid, and Dean had said stuff not knowing why they would hurt Cas more than they should have. If only there was someone Cas could talk to about it. He glanced over at Sam's large silhouette, the mound rising and falling evenly in sleep.

Perhaps … but no. They were having such a good time. Castiel didn't want to burden him. And it would be weird. Sam was Dean's brother and that wouldn't do.

Then he looked down at the Charlie doll. Now, Charlie, he wouldn't be burdening with this. Charlie would probably have forced him to spill the very moment she saw Dean and Cas fighting. Charlie would understand it all. Charlie would know exactly why Cas had felt hurt the way he had. He had told Charlie things he'd never told others in his life.

He missed Charlie. A lot. They'd been much closer than Sam and Dean had seen. They'd talked about a lot of things together, taken a lot of selfies (that was where Cas had actually learned the word "selfies") and just been … close. They probably would have been best friends if they had gotten to be close outside of things relating to The Book of the Damned, translating it and other mark related things.

Charlie would have been fun on this trip. Charlie would have liked the things they'd gotten at Hot Topic. Charlie loved the Supernatural books.

'You're here in a way, Charlie,' Cas muttered to the tiny string doll on the pillow beside him. Then he felt an unexpected dampness on his cheek which he realized was a tear, which was odd, because he never cried.

Oh, great. Trust his first ever vacation, which was supposed to be fun, to make him cry.

Then again, it's not like this out of character action was all that surprising. He'd been out of character since hopping into the car with Sam in the first place.

Castiel shut his eyes tight and forced himself to remember every word of every page of every book that Metatron had put into his head and keep going until he lost track of all time and the next thing he knew was Sam lightly shaking his shoulder in the morning, because somehow he'd been reading to himself in his head all night, the Charlie doll right next to his face, the Dean doll clutched in his fist and his pillow now dry from the dampness that had been transferred from cheek to fabric earlier in the night.

'It's morning?' Cas asked, frowning up at Sam and the sudden light. He had been as close to sleep as an angel could get, completely zoned out and unaware of his surroundings.

'Yeah, eight thirty. If it's too early for you –'

'No, no. I was just reading. In my head.'

'You can do that?'

'Yes. It's not difficult with a brain capacity and memory like mine.'

Sam looked impressed. 'That's pretty cool. Anyway, just thought I'd make sure you're okay. You looked a little dead.'

'I'm not dead,' Castiel stated. 'Not last time I checked.'

'Good. Let's keep it that way. I'm gonna take a shower, then I was thinking we could head down to breakfast. It's complimentary in this place.'

'That sounds … good.'

'Great.'

Sam headed off towards the bathroom. Castiel got out of bed and started to go through the clothes on the ground in search of something to wear. He didn't feel like going back to his usual everyday outfit just yet. Today he went for a "love me some pie" shirt that had a picture of a "Dean faceclaim" that actually loomed exactly like Dean on it, his usual (and only) pants, a Supernatural watch, a different pair of Supernatural socks, and an anti-possession pom-beanie. It turned out that Sam wasn't the only one that looked good in a beanie. He also threw on the same necklace as yesterday and a "Team Free Will" rubber bracelet. He had a very strong urge to instead wear a dress version of his usual outfit with a small white winged bow in his hair since in his own, and in Sam's, opinion last night he had looked damn good in that dress, but society probably wouldn't deem that very acceptable.

Sam, when he came out, donned his own one of the shirt Cas had worn to McDonalds, plus the same accessories and beanie as he himself had worn there. Breakfast for the two of them was a quick, simple affair and Cas discovered he really really liked strawberry jam.

And then with all of their stuff back in the shopping bags they'd been put in when purchased, they headed out to the car with their sights set on Ikea.

It wasn't until he was in the car that Castiel remembered his phone was off and he switched it back on again to surprisingly find two missed calls and seven texts from Dean, five of those texts being in relation to The First Book, one inquiring as to whether the reason Cas wasn't answering was because he'd become angry about "the other night" again and then another simply wishing Cas a pleasant rest-of-the-night. These had all been sent after 3am, which made Castiel wonder why Dean had been up so late. Or maybe unusually early.

The texts, in this order, read:

Cas I'm in this book

I need to ask you something about someone in the book

Something weird is going on with this thing

Text me back, this is important

This book is freaking me out

Are you angry about the other night again? Answer your phone

Okay fine have a good night or whats left of it. I'll try Sam tomorrow when he'll be awake if you don't call back by 12

Castiel rolled his eyes. He texted Dean back:

Don't call Sam. We'll talk when we get back later today. Stop freaking out (eyes rolling/looking up emoji, ghost emoji.)

He got no reply in a ten minute period so he assumed Dean was asleep after his late night texting antics and freaking out over the book. He wondered what exactly about it was freaking Dean out since Sam seemed completely fine.

When they arrived at Ikea they were disappointed to find that there were no decent looking trees. They had one type: an artificial tree modeled on a real one with skinny branches that just looked sad. The good news was that they only found out because they overheard some women complaining about it and then announcing they were just going to go buy a tree at Home Depot.

'I told you they have everything there,' one of the women stressed as she threw her arm around the other.

'I guess we know what out next stop is,' said Sam.

They may not have been able to get a tree at Ikea, but they got enough decorations to cover ten. Or twenty Baubles, wooden bells, snowmen, beads, tinsel, lights, you name it and they got it. They got a gold star for the top out of a choice of gold and silver and he joked that maybe Ikea didn't sell angels for the tops of trees since there was an angel shopping for the decorations.

'I don't think anyone here knows I'm angel, Sam,' Castiel said very seriously.

'It was a joke, Cas,' Sam explained.

'Oh …'

Then Cas grinned, laughing a small laugh at the joke which now he understood and did find rather humorous.

They practically cleaned them out on decorative lighting too, and then Sam decided he wanted to buy a whole load of Christmas themed cooking and dining equipment because he had taken it upon himself to also try and cook Christmas dinner.

'Do you even know how to cook?' Cas asked curiously.

'Not a clue. But the internet has always been a good teacher before, I doubt it'll fail me now.'

After some forethought Cas asked slowly: 'could I help?'

'The more the merrier,' Sam replied with a grin.

Then they loaded up on candles and then wrapping paper and gift bags which they'd use to wrap all the stuff they'd gotten Dean at Hot Topic, plus whatever extra stuff they grabbed in stores around Merriam because apparently Sam had gone completely insane. And Cas liked it.

Paying for their stuff was certainly fun. The young man who worked at the registers certainly seemed shocked by the quantity of stuff they were buying.

'Decorating Hogwarts?' he asked jokingly.

It took Cas a moment to get the joke, but when he did, he was laughing along with Sam in no time.

And then the young man asked if it was their first Christmas as a couple. Castiel was about to reply that they weren't in fact a couple, but Sam took control and threw his arm around Cas, telling the young man that yes actually, it was and that they'd actually just gotten married last week and were very excited about it. Which led to them getting a 10% discount.

On the way out to the car Cas asked, 'did you know he would give us a discount if we pretended to be married?'

'Nope,' Sam said merrily, 'that was just an added bonus.'

'And why did you say that we're married?'

'Because going along with things is more fun than correcting people. Come on, don't pretend that us being married wouldn't be the greatest thing ever.'

'Perhaps. But Dean would be jealous.'

'Dean has his pie. Don't worry about Dean. As long as he's got pie he's happy.'

Cas laughed. It was getting much easier to laugh at things. He felt like he was loosening up a whole lot, more than he'd ever loosened up before, even more so than he had during his short stretch as a human. He liked this feeling. Is this what it was like to do normal things with a normal friend who you could pretend you met at a grocery store or library or something rather than because you pulled his brother out of hell?

'Yes, Cas, I think it is,' Sam replied when Cas voiced his thought out loud.

With their purchases filling the trunk and some of the back seat, they headed off to Home Depot which was barely five minutes away.

They got a tree called "7.5 ft. Wesley Mixed Spruce Quick-Set Artificial Christmas Tree with 650 Clear Lights" and tied it to the roof of the car using the rope and also a handy roof rack they picked up in store too.

They made sure not one area of the car was empty when they left Home Depot, filling up the rest of the back seat with more decorations. Figurines, table decorations, a skirt for the tree (which Cas figured out the concept of without asking Sam about trees wearing clothes) and a whole bunch of wreathes. And mistletoe. A whole load of mistletoe. Most of it was artificial so Sam didn't go for that, instead he got ten mistletoe selfie sticks which he'd just take the mistletoe off of and hang in doorways instead.

'I thought the thing with mistletoe was that you have to kiss whoever you're under it with,' Castiel said with a frown.

'It is, why?'

'What's the point if it's just you, me and Dean in the bunker?'

'The point is that no place is complete without mistletoe at Christmas. We'll just figure it out as we go. Create a time table of who can go through what door when so none of us accidentally meet under the stuff. Satisfied?'

'Yes, I believe so.'

Lastly, they stopped at a bunch of stores ad bought even more stuff. They hit up Russel Stover Candies and Party City, and also almost every clothes store they spotted where they made it their mission to get the most ridiculous looking clothes as possible, which they planned to wrap hopefully forget about so when unwrapping all the stuff would be a surprise.

They went to Walmart and picked up even more useless junk there. And then they went to the Mall. They decided that maybe that should be their last stop of else they'd run out of room and be unable to fit in the car.

So, with a car full of crap and a roof full of tree, it was time to undertake the four hour journey home.

Dean was waiting for them the second they got in with The First Book clutched in his arms. He almost dropped the thing when he saw them.

'What the hell are you two wearing?'

Sam folded his arms and looked highly offended.

'What, you've never seen someone wear their own merchandise before?'

'Merchandise …' He looked at Cas's shirt. 'Is that guy supposed to be me?'

'Yes,' Castiel replied proudly.

'He looks nothing like me,' Dean stated.

'He looks exactly like you,' Cas retorted.

'I'll second that,' said Sam, 'the tag said it was someone's "Dean face claim". And it's Jensen Ackles. You do remember who Jensen Ackles is, don't you?'

'No?'

'It's fake you. From that time Balthazar sent us to an alternate reality of some kind and we were both actors?'

'Oh, yeah. What the fuck?'

'Those actors are real people,' Sam explained, 'and people just happen to think Jensen looks like how Dean is described. He also just happens to look exactly like you.'

'He does not look exactly like me,' Dean said firmly, glowering at Cas's shirt. 'I'm way hotter than that.'

'All you can see is his head.'

'Well, my head is way hotter than his head then.'

'Sure.'

'Where the hell were you guys?'

Sam and Cas looked at each other and tried to resist the urge to start laughing. Instead, Sam just turned around and walked out. Dean frowned, looking at Cas expectantly. Cas turned away watched Sam walk away.

'Follow us, I guess' Cas said with a shrug.

Cas turned and followed Sam and heard Dean following behind him. They walked in silence until they got to the car, which was when Sam finally turned around, spread his arms and declared a loud 'Merry Christmas!'

They were expecting a dropping of his jaw, or a confused look, or a 'what?' but Dean just stared. And then stared some more. He looked from Sam to Cas to the tree on top of the car. He looked as though he knew exactly what was going on.

'Seriously?' he said eventually. He was still holding The First Book.

'Seriously what?' Sam asked.

'A Christmas Tree? Seriously? Seriously?'

'And again, seriously what?'

'You hate Christmas.'

'No, I hated Christmas. But Christmas of oh-seven was kinda nice. You got me shaving cream.'

'So you decided to get a Sam-sized Christmas Tree?'

'It's a foot taller than I am, actually.'

'And we also got decorations,' Cas added.

'And presents,' said Sam.

'And ugly Christmas sweater kits.'

Dean's eyebrows pulled together in a half grimace and half frown.

'But why?'

Sam shrugged.

'It's Christmas. We've got nothing else to do. The book says we can't stop The Darkness, so why not do something normal for once, right Cas?'

'Right,' Cas agreed. 'And I've never celebrated Christmas before, so Sam thought it was time I got to.'

It looked like it was taking quite a lot of thinking for Dean to comprehend what was happening. This was certainly new. But was it bad new? Not really. It was just Christmas. And Dean was the one who had pushed Sam into celebrating Christmas the year it was "kinda nice".

Huh. Maybe this wasn't such a dumb idea.

'Okay, I can get on board this this,' Dean reasoned, 'but first I need to talk to Cas. Alone. Cas?'

Castiel frowned, but then remembered the texts. Ah. Yes. That.

'Alright. We can talk,' he decided.

'Great. Come with me.'

Dean turned swiftly and walked using longer strides than normal. Castiel followed behind him.

'I'll bring in some of this stuff. You know, the stuff we have to wrap,' Sam called after them. He saw Cas give the thumbs up as he continued to walk away.

Dean didn't speak until they were in Dean's bedroom and the door was firmly closed behind them. Then, he dumped The First Book on the bed and flicked through it to the right page and pointed at it. He looked at Cas in a way that was almost challenging.

'Does that seem familiar to you?'

He was pointing at the book. Castiel wandered over to the bed and sat beside the book, pulling it to face him and he read the first sentence. He didn't need to read the rest of the page or even the paragraph to know exactly what had freaked Dean out about the book.

'Dean …'

'Is it true?' Dean asked.

'Yes.'

'You pulled some random chick out of hell who turned out to be The Savior?'

Castiel's eyebrows raised without him being involved, an automatic response to something he hadn't known.

'I pulled The Savior out of hell?'

'Yeah. You're victim number three and you're mentioned a whole lot in the first half of the book.'

'You've already read half the book?'

'Skimmed it, mostly. I don't go as in depth as Sam does.'

Castiel let his eyes flicker down the page. It was there, word for word, but in place of names there were victim numbers. Victim … it seemed an awfully ominous word for the book to use. Castiel flicked through the next several pages, reading a sentence here, a sentence there, before looking back up at Dean with sudden understanding.

Dean wasn't freaked out about Cas being victim number three.

'Who was she?'

'Her name was Tyler.'

He was freaked out about himself being victim number two.

'And for Sam?'

'Sam?'

'The term "the first victim" is used here, but in my memories I recall Annabel using your brother's name.'

'Annabel?'

'That was the name of the young woman I walked through purgatory with.'

'How the hell did The Savior come up with these names?'

'Perhaps she used names most suited to who she was at the time.' Castiel closed the book and moved it out of the way, patting the space beside him. 'Sit. Tell me about Tyler.'

Dean sat. He was frowning and he rested his elbows on his knees, staring straight ahead of him. He hadn't thought about Tyler in a long time, not until the book mentioned her. And he most certainly had never talked about her. Sam didn't even know about Tyler. But now Cas was about to.

'She was just a hunter, I guess,' Dean started. 'From England. Travelling with a friend. We started hunting together. We liked all the same stuff. She was close to dad too.'

'Now I understand where her name comes from,' Castiel deliberated. 'Tyler. A traditionally male name, but well suited to a strong female hunter. It seems like The Savior chooses names that suit who she is at the time. When did you meet Tyler?'

'Uh, May,' Dean recalled. 'May second. Two thousand five. She went back to England six months later with her friend.'

'Her friend … another victim perhaps.'

'Maybe … but I don't think so. She didn't seem to work him the way she worked me, y'know? I mean, every time I saw her I had my mind blown again and again … there was something about her, I guess. Mesmerizing. And even though her clothes were always torn and she was covered in blood most of the time she always looked like she was floating. Long white dress, halo, living on a cloud kind of floating.'

'And you were close?'

'Yeah. Almost as close as you and me are.'

Castiel frowned. It didn't look like he liked the idea of that.

'Interesting,' he said in a voice laced with something Dean couldn't place, but it didn't sound positive.

'So what about Annabel?' Dean asked, looking at Cas for the first time since he'd sat. 'Was she anything like Tyler?'

'You could say that,' Castiel agreed, with a slight nod. 'Although we met towards the end of two thousand and six and were only together for a day. But there was something mesmerizing about her too, as you put it, and I agree with how you put it with the "long white dress, halo, living on a cloud" although her soul was the most damaged and broken thing I've ever seen, similar, perhaps, to the torn clothing and the blood. And like Tyler, her name did seem to suit here. She seemed like such an innocent soul while Annabel sounds like an innocent name.'

'It's hard to imagine a dark Annabel,' Dean agreed.

'Did Tyler seem to have knowledge beyond what she should have had?'

'Well she was always whispering with dad. And they kept comparing journals. I didn't understand why. It's like she knew something he didn't.'

'Meanwhile, Annabel was able to tell me in depth about you and Sam even though she had never met either of you before. But she had. She had met both of you. But the question is: when did she meet Sam?'

'Honestly? I have no idea. The first victim is Sam?'

'It certainly seems so.'

Dean looked completely and utterly repulsed.

'Gross.'

'What do you mean?'

'Look for the first victim's part in the book.'

Castiel picked up the book and placed in his lap and began flicking through. It was right there, on the first page, which he skimmed, taking in the general idea but not every single word.

'How far in do I have to get to understand?'

'Twenty pages or something.'

Cas flicked ahead twenty pages and resumed skimming. And then closed the book.

'I understand now. No one wants to read about their brother in such detail doing … that.'

'Yeah. Ugh. I need a shower.'

Cas chuckled. He couldn't help it. Dean's disgust was completely understandable, but it was funny. Just the tiniest bit.

'So you still have no idea about who it could be? Sam was never … involved with anyone that you remember in his teenage years?'

'Not that I can– hold up,' Dean realized suddenly, 'yeah – yeah he was! He was just a kid. Sixteen, I think. We were in this town for six months or something … place called Windsor in Connecticut. And he had this huge crush on some girl in his class by the time he got home from school on the first day. Then they got together and she moved a few days before we did and he never saw again.'

'That could be her. Do you remember her name?'

'Aroura, I think. He never shut up about her. I met her, actually. Nice kid. And her eyes were so blue I swear they could challenge yours.'

'So, basically, we know that The Savior does in fact appeal to each victim. A girlfriend for the new boy in school, someone new to hunt with for a hunter and then for an angel, a soul to be saved. If only we knew who the other victims were …'

'It doesn't say in the book. There's some guy it just calls "the crossroads demon", then "the double crosser" and it doesn't give any kind of name for the other two.'

They sat side by side in silence for a time. Castiel was trying to remember as much as he could about his encounter with Annabel, but there was nothing to give away which demon was the demon who served as the fourth victim. "The double crosser" was even vaguer of a hint.

'Perhaps … we shouldn't tell Sam about our involvement with The Savior,' Castiel suggested slowly.

'Why not?' Dean asked.

'He didn't tell us about him being the first victim. He obviously doesn't want us to kn–' He stopped mid-sentence due to his sudden realization. 'It's a coping mechanism.'

'What?'

'Christmas,' Cas illuminated for Dean. 'Sam doesn't want to think about the fact that his first girlfriend was The Savior, so he's throwing himself into the most distracting thing he can think of, which is Christmas. Humans do this sort of thing, don't they?'

Dean nodded slowly. He got it now, too.

'Yeah. We do that. So what, we just lie? Pretend we don't know who anyone in the book is and just dive right into that giant Christmas tree?'

'And make ugly sweaters and receive stupid gifts even though Sam and I already know what everything is anyway, yes.'

'Do we seriously have to wear ugly sweaters?'

'Yes.'

'Me included?'

'Yes.'

'Well, son of a bitch.'

Cas laughed. Dean glared at him. Which made Cas laugh even more.

'You only have to wear the ugly one on Christmas Day, though,' said Cas.

'Really?'

'Yes. There's a much darker one with Jack Skellington on it you can wear until then. I made Sam get it for you.'

Dean looked more than relieved.

'I could kiss you,' was his grateful reply.

'Don't you fucking dare,' Castiel snapped suddenly. Dean looked taken aback. Cas calmed himself somewhat. 'Sorry. I'm still … y'know.'

'Yeah, I know, no need to apologize.' Dean looked sorrier than Cas felt for his sudden unexpected snap. Then Dean, attempting to lighten the mood again, raised his eyebrows while the ghost of a smirk formed on his lips. 'Did you just swear, Cas?'

'I swear all the time,' Cas stated.

'Yeah, but I've never heard you say "fuck" before.'

'Actually I said "fucking" if you cared to listen correctly.'

'Still.' Dean seemed to be stunned and impressed by this. 'I like this new more aggressive side of you. You should swear more often.'

Cas rolled his eyes and stood up.

'Let's go help Sam haul that tree in.'

'Okay, fine,' Dean groaned, following closely behind Cas. 'But I swear, if he's got an angel to put on the top of that thing I'm putting this whole thing to an end. We don't need two angels around here. One is plenty and it would be even better if that one swore more.'

Castiel decided to hop in for the sickeningly sweet tactic he'd used the day he and Dean had shared pie and had used in some of the days following. Her turned around, all smiles, and replied, 'shut the fuck up, Dean.'

Dean looked taken aback, then grinned, his eyebrows raised, as he continued following Cas back through the bunker and in search of Sam.