Enjolras lay on his bed, exhausted. He had finally cried his eyes dry, his face now red and blotchy. Eponine had gone back to Combeferre's room. They were silent, which meant either that they had fallen asleep, or were making out again. Enjolras sniffed, rolling himself into a ball. He was so tired… and yet, he could not sleep. He was too worried about when Grantaire would wake up. He bit his lip before standing and walking past Combeferre's room, going down the hall in Vivienne's. As he walked, Enjolras desperately wished that Combeferre had been in town when Grantaire had gone home with Vivienne… this whole scenario could have been avoided if anyone who knew Grantaire knew that he was here. If Enjolras had not been so caught up in his work, he would have heard his lover come in, he would not have been so exclusively caught up in his music and his papers that he did not notice anything else.
Enjolras knocked on his twin's door before going in and laying on the bed with Vivienne, his head on her lap as she began to play with his hair. "Hey, Juli," she whispered, her fingers massaging Enjolras' scalp. How are you holding up?" Enjolras shook his head, his throat too raw from crying to speak. Vivienne sighed understanding. She, too, felt like Grantaire's attempt was partially her fault… she should have intervened earlier, should have stopped the argument before it had gotten out of hand. She had just figured that the boys would diffuse things themselves, especially with how obvious that Grantaire's love clearly was. How could Julian not see that for himself? The female-Enjolras sighed before singing softly to her brother, trying to help him feel even slightly better.
Suddenly, Eponine burst into the room. "Enjolras!" she cried, jumping on the bed. "Your phone kept ringing, so I answered it… Grantaire is awake!"
Enjolras jumped up, immediately running to his room to grab his shoes, while Eponine ran over to grab her car keys. It was true, the hospital was only a few blocks away (which was fortunate for Enjolras, as he had run home after his breakdown), but it would be much quicker for the duo to drive.
A mere five minutes later saw Enjolras sprinting through the hospital while Eponine parked the car. Enjolras ignored all the cries from the nurses telling him that running was not allowed, that he needed to walk. Enjolras did not care. He had one thing on his mind: getting to Grantaire.
Enjolras let out a pathetic whimper when Grantaire looked at him, his blue eyes wide and scared. Enjolras rushed forward, pulling Grantaire tightly against his chest, one hand fisted in his hospital robe, the other in the boy's ebony curls. "I'm sorry," Enjolras cried, tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks at seeing the other boy awake. He kissed Grantaire's cheeks and forehead, murmuring, " I love you" and "please forgive me" in-between his affection. Grantaire hugged back, his arms wound so tightly against the blond that Grantaire feared that he may snap his Apollo in two.
"Of course I forgive you, dearest Apollo," Grantaire soothed, resting his chin on his lover's shoulder. God, it felt so good to be able to do that again!
"Do you…. Be my boyfriend? Please?" Enjolras whispered, his grip tightening even more. "I can't see you with anyone else every again. Please say you still want to be mine." When Grantaire stiffened in shock, Enjolras felt his heart sink down to the depths of Hades' inferno. He sighed nervously before beginning to ramble. "I know I don't deserve you and it's my fault and that you probably want to end this—"
"Yes, I do."
Enjolras froze. Yes, Grantaire wanted to end things? Enjolras could feel his heart breaking, but he knew he deserved this. He had treated the man so horribly all these years, why would Grantaire ever want to be exclusive? Enjolras loosened his grip, trying to stop the pain that burned through his veins, fighting to put his mask back into place. He tried to stand up.
Grantaire tightened his grip again. "Where are you going?" he demanded, pulling Enjolras back on the bed.
Enjolras felt his mask slip away once more. "You said you wanted to end this," he answered quietly. "I don't want to hinder your healing if you don't want me around, even if you, for some asinine reason, have forgiven me."
Grantaire chuckled as he shook his head, kissing Enjolras on the cheek. "Apollo, no. You misunderstood. No, I do not want to end this. Yes, I do still want to be only yours. I would like nothing more than to be your boyfriend." He kissed him again. "I don't blame you for any of this. It's my fault for drinking." He turned somber. "I promise I will not do this again… life is a constant battle for me, but none of this is worth it if it costs me you." He nuzzled into Enjolras' shoulder. Grantaire froze, suddenly remember what Enjolras had said both recently and when he was in a coma. Grantaire began to beam. "You love me?"
Enjolras blushed. "I know we only started a few weeks ago, but… I really do."
Grantaire smiled. "I heard everything that you said while I was unconscious… you could have just talked to me about your feelings, rather than acting out all these years. You would have been a lot less miserable. Think of how much more you would have focused on your rallies and you studies if you didn't have your confusion in the back of your mind!"
Enjolras chuckled. "I would not be repressing anything, but I also would not have been focusing more time on either of those things. I would be focusing on you." He smiled. "Really, 'Taire? Your first thought is how admitting I was gay would help my rallies, rather than how it would help you?" When Grantaire just smiled bashfully, Enjolras laughed. He pulled Grantaire down so that they were facing each other. Grantaire moved to push Enjolras' hair back, the only sound in the room the faint beeping of the pulse-machine. When he moved, Enjolras caught sight of the raised pink flesh of Grantaire's arm, the scabs finally begging to ebb away. "Enjolras caught Grantaire's wrist, running his thumb over the raised skin. "Why my name? Why with a bottle?"
Grantaire looked down, embarrassed. "Ironic, isn't it? The two things that I have lived my life for for so long, would be the ones to end it all."
Enjolras felt his chest constrict as he pulled Grantaire tighter. He had not considered those aspects in the slightest. He bit his lip, feeling guilty again. "I am not worth you ending your life."
Grantaire looked back up. "Don't you see, my dear Apollo? My life is but nothing if you are not present. You are my sun, my light. Without your smile, your passion, my world dissolves into darkness." He yawned, shifting so that his head was buried in the crook of Enjolras' neck." Baby, I am…" he trailed off, falling back asleep. Enjolras pressed a kiss to Grantaire's temple, content to be simply laying there with his love.