"Hey, we got a problem. The prisoner's missing from his– what the hell?"
Tali whipped around with a plate in one hand and a spatula in the other, blinking owlishly at the helmet less man in the doorway of the kitchen. Caboose and Donut were sitting on stools next to the kitchen counter, two glasses of milk by them and a plate containing a few cookies leftover.
"Hey, Tucker. What's up?" Tali asked, setting down the full plate and untying the apron from around her waist.
"What the– I don't– what?" Tucker spluttered, his hazel-gold eyes flicking from her to the two soldiers giggling and stuffing chocolate chip cookies into their mouths, wiping crumbs from their faces as they continued talking about their spy movie.
"I was talking with Michael and Donut and decided to make them some treats," Tali shrugged.
"But he's the enemy!" Tucker stressed, before looking quizzical, "And seriously? He's actually a dude?"
Tali rolled her eyes, "Tucker, relax. Everything's fine. Donut's actually pretty fun to talk to," She admitted.
"Uh, hello? ENEMY!" Tucker flailed his arms as he said this.
She sighed, "Tucker," She said as she approached him, "Just don't worry, and eat cookies," She punctuated her point by shoving one into his mouth and walking back to the counter.
"Mrmph–! Oh, shit. This is actually pretty good," Tucker's eyes widened in surprise.
She laughed, "Thanks."
Tucker tried to smile at her through a mouthful of the baked goods, but failed to do so, only nodding his head appreciatively at the food. Not a moment after Caboose noticed Tucker, Donut piped up, "Hey Tali! Truth or Dare?"
Without really thinking, and quite nervous that Donut might try and get more information from her past, she replied, "Dare."
"I dare you…" Donut began, an evil smirk going across his face, "To kiss him!"
He pointed, and Tali noticed with some level of distraught that he was indeed pointing at Tucker, whom was just as surprised at the notion himself… for three seconds.
He smirked, a predator-like glint in his eyes as he sauntered around the counter and slowly approached the hybrid, "Well, you can't exactly go back on a dare, can you sweet cheeks?"
"I totally can," She said flatly, but Donut was having none of that.
"I double dog dare you!"
"Oh— oh you have to now," Caboose said seriously, "Michelle always told me that you have to complete a double dare."
"Who's Michelle?"
"My big sister!" Caboose chirped in response to Tali's question.
"…Which big sister?"
"Heeeeey, I think someone's stalling," Donut chided, standing now with hands on his hips.
Damn right I'm stalling, Tali thought, eyes darting to Tucker for a nanosecond, seeing that boyish grin still on his face.
:I know you want to, Tali. Just do it.:
:What the– get the fuck outta here, April!:
Just when she thought she couldn't stall any longer, Donut started making these really odd noises, muscles spazzing for a moment before his body calmed again.
…And it was Church of course.
"Woah… this pink armor's roomy. Comfortable. What were you guys talking about?" Church asked Caboose.
"Ohhhh nothing," Caboose replied, smiling as he drained the milk from his glass and put his helmet back on. Was she going crazy or was Caboose being coy?
"…You wanna braid each other's hair?" Church asked, causing both Tucker and Tali to reel back in surprise and shock.
:Don't worry about that, Tali. It's just Donut's feminine side influencing him.: April assured her in amusement over the link.
:Whatever you say. I guess I'll see you down at Red base?:
:That you will, sis. Good luck with Romeo!:
Tali growled through the link before closing it, ignoring the slightly irritated look on Tucker's face as he glared at Church–… err, Donut. Tali ran for her armor, "I'll meet you guys out there!"
And as she ran down the hallway, she could faintly hear Tucker yell, at her brother nonetheless, "Stop cockblocking me!"
She really wanted to forget that statement.
…
…
…
"How do I even address them?" Tucker hissed to the group of three behind him, receiving shrugs and blank looks. He sighed and called to Red base, "Hello inferior Red squad!"
Well, that wasn't exactly a good start.
"We would like to talk to you about–"
"Sneak attack!" Caboose whispered excitedly.
"Shut up you idiot! We're not here to fight, we're here to negotiate," Church corrected him harshly.
"Sneak negotiation!" Caboose said, unfazed.
"What the– Donut! What is this?" Sarge called from atop the Red base.
After a moment of silence, Tali elbowed Church (well, Donut who was currently possessed by Church) and whispered, "That's you!"
"Oh, okay," Church then projected his voice to be heard, "We– I-I mean they, would like to negotiate a surrender to us. No them, nonowaitthat'sright, to them–to us!"
"...Smooth, dude," Tucker shook his head at him.
"You can't surrender Blues, we haven't attacked you! Now go home and wait for us to attack. Then you can surrender!" Simmons retorted.
:Sarge thinks you're setting up a trap for them: April informed her over the link.
:Well, Church certainly isn't helping.:
:I'm assuming he's the one stuttering over his words and is still possessing Donut?:
:Yup.:
:Thought so.:
"In exchange for not killing us, they, them– we, they would like to release the robot guy and me," Church spared a glance at Tucker, who was slowly turning to stare blankly at him, and added, "The pink guy."
"Are you becoming retarded?" Tucker asked in bewilderment.
:Uh, you might want to tell Tucker to duck… Simmons is gonna shoot him with a sniper rifle.:
"Hey Tucker?" Tali called.
"Yeah?"
"You might wanna duck."
"Why? Wha–OW HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" Tucker yelled as a sniper round hit his arm, bouncing off his shields uselessly.
"Alright, now you're under attack! Go ahead and surrender, bitch!" Simmons yelled victoriously.
"Alright, they surrender!" Church yelled.
Tucker had other ideas however, and proceeded to load his pistol as he snarled, "Fuck that, I'm pissed. Let's fight!"
"Woah woah woah!" Tali grabbed Tucker's wrists, "Just play along… please?"
He looked at her for a moment, before sighing in frustration, "Fine… but only because it's you."
That statement. No likey, stay impersonal oh god—
"Aw, so sweet. Now shut up," Church snapped.
Tali whirled around, unnecessary anger building as she sneered, "I don't care if you're possessing one of the Reds, I will still punch you in the nads right in front of them!"
"Now that you have been humiliated by our superior military strategy, we demand the return of our robot and our pink private!" Sarge hollered.
"Alright, but just one catch!" Church held up on finger to stop them from leaving the base, "Sarge, they want you to build two robots for their team! One for each prisoner that they're releasing."
"Hey, that wasn't part of the deal!" Simmons shook his head violently.
"Church, why do we need two robots?" Tucker asked.
"I want a spare in case Tex shows up out of nowhere again and decides to use one of the robots as her punching bag. I know she'll do it too," Church grumbled a bit.
"Alright you Blue scum suckers! What robot models do you have in mind?" Sarge asked.
:Hey, Tali? Tell him to not cheap out on the 'optional' parts… Sarge is planning to do that.:
:Will do. Thanks April.:
"I guess make 'em just like Lopez. 'Cept, y'know, just the shell. No intelligence!"
"Church, tell them not to cheap out on 'optional' equipment. Tell 'em we need all of it," Tali whispered.
"Oh, and no Spanish! And a bigger switch!—" are you serious? "—and don't think that you can leave out the optional stuff!" Church added.
"Alright, fine, we have a deal. Meet us in the middle of the canyon at 0600 and we'll make the exchange!" Sarge replied.
:Did it work, April? Is Sarge gonna give us the optional stuff?:
:Yup! He's pissed though, so I'll keep an eye on him.:
:Thanks.:
"Deal!" Church turned to the other Blues then, "Okay, now I have to hurry back before Sheila and Lopez suspect anything. Make sure the pink guy doesn't run away when I leave, I mean it! I'll meet you guys back at the base!" Church then jumped out of Donut and headed for Blue base.
"Huh? Where am I?" Donut asked confusedly.
"We were just talking with your friends," Caboose explained, "But you are going to stay with us now for a while."
"Are we gonna have a sleepover? Because that would be sweet!" Donut exclaimed.
"…You're a nice lady."
…
…
…
April walked up onto the top of the base to see two cobalt blue robots, the only difference that could be told between the two was that one was holding an assault rifle while the other was holding a burst rifle. Man, Sarge can work fast.
From what she could see, Sarge was touching up the last bits of the robots while talking to Simmons, only to jolt upright when—
BANG!
Well, Simmons shot himself in the foot again. That's interesting.
"…Son, did you just shoot yourself in the foot?"
"Yeah, I do that now sometimes. April gave me some diagrams that shows how to lessen it, but it still happens once in awhile," Simmons sighed.
"I'm sure it's user error," Sarge was quick to put blame off himself.
"No need to worry about it Sarge," April assured, walking to stand with them, "Malfunctions with cyborgs is really unavoidable, but thankfully the more dangerous ones can be avoided."
"Yeah, that's– wait, wh-what do you mean by 'more dangerous'?" Simmons suddenly sounded more unsure of himself.
"Hey guys, it's almost time," Grif peeked up from the ramp, "Are the robots ready yet?"
"Just putting on the finishing touches," Sarge said as Grif moved to stand with April and Simmons, "Lady and gentlemen, allow me to introduce… Francisco Montague Zanzibar," He pointed to the robot to the right, "And this one over here is Robot Number 2."
…Um, okay?
"I'm still a little concerned about the malfunctions, April," Simmons muttered to her through gritted teeth. She ignored him.
"Why doesn't this one get a fancy name?" Grif asked, gesturing to the robot on the left.
"Let's just say somebody has an overclocked sass back chip, and rejected all the names we came up with," He looked meaningfully to the robot.
The robot made a series of noises that April translated to be, "Stick it. You're not my real dad."
She can now safely guarantee that Church will automatically float into this one. She'd bet her life on it.
"But that's okay," Sarge continued, unperturbed, "I can even use it to my advantage. I made some special modifications on the new rodo's–" Rodo's? What? "–check it out. Robot Number 2, codeword… dirtbag."
The robot made an 'eep' noise, and promptly strode up to Grif and whacked him across the face with its rifle.
"OW!"
"Hehe. Pretty nifty, huh?" Sarge chuckled, pleased with himself.
"That's… awesome, sir! Lemme try, lemme try," Simmons cleared his throat, "Codeword: Dirtbag!"
"OW!… okay, fine. Two can play at this game! Codeword–"
April rolled her eyes, "It's just gonna hit you."
"Dirtbag–ah, son of a bitch!" Grif turned to April, "Sometimes, I really hate it when you're right, April."
"And that's not the only special feature," Sarge crossed his arms.
Well, that doesn't sound good… since we're talking about Sarge here.
"Well, I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say for instance that one of the robots contains a hidden microphone that'll allow us to eavesdrop on the Blues whenever we want!"
Okay, that doesn't sound so bad… but what about–
"And let's just suppose, shall we, that the other robot… contains a ten-megaton bomb! Hahaha–oh. I guess I kinda gave it away."
…what. The. Hell! If Sarge detonates it the entire canyon will be obliterated!
"We're all gonna die…" April muttered as she walked away.
…
…
…
"Why do I have a really, really, really bad feeling about this?" Tali asked while pacing in her room.
She had left Caboose and Donut when they began playing Truth or Dare again to go and change into her armor, where she got this extremely bad feeling going down her spine. Hell, she hadn't even felt that when Lopez and Sheila said they would show at 0600, so why now?
"Would you relax?" Tucker sighed from his spot leaning against the wall, "Everything will be okay–"
"Stop saying that, you're gonna jinx it!" She yelled, tangling her fingers in her hair.
"Hey hey hey," Tucker moved to stand in front of her, taking hold of her wrists like she did to him earlier, "I promise, everything'll work out."
"I'm holding that to you," Tali frowned, crossing her arms with a pout.
Tucker led her out of the room by the arm, heading to the kitchen, "Hey, what'd you say to me before? Don't worry and eat cookies?"
"Yeah… why?"
"Well, we're gonna go in there and not worry, and eat some damn cookies," Tucker said with finality, lugging a laughing Tali through the door to the kitchen.
"You're the best," Tali said without thinking, but after it registered, she found that she didn't immediately regret it. She actually enjoyed being around him, which was quite a surprise considering her first impression of him.
Tucker glanced at her in surprise, before his signature smirk eased on his face, "In multiple areas of study, hell yeah I am. Bow chica bow wow!"
Dammit, Tucker.
…
…
…
Okay, so the Reds were all waiting on one side, Lopez and Sheila were in the middle and to the side, and the Blues were on the other side.
:This is gonna end badly, isn't it?: April asked with a sigh over the link.
:Yeah… probably. Dammit, can't we establish one plan without it screwing us over?!:
"Are you there Church? Church, are you there Church?" Tucker called through his radio.
"Hey man, I've been trying to get you on the radio for ten minutes, what's goin' on?" Church asked from above on the cliff.
"Sorry man, I'm still getting the Reds transmissions from when we broadcasted the Lopez Song. There's a lot of chatter," Tucker shrugged up at the ghost.
"Well are you at least getting any useful information?"
"Nah, it's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple," Tucker mentioned the people she assumed were Grif and Simmons, and then he mentioned April, to her surprise, "And then this chick keeps trying to calm them both down. I swear, she acts just like Tali does with Caboose."
"I am not his mother!" Tali said adamantly.
"Alright," Church ignored her annoyed growl, "Get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion."
Tucker and Tali shared a look, and Tucker replied, "Uh, Church, it kinda looks more like a triangle from down here."
"What?"
"I'm just sayin' it doesn't look like much of a circle. It looks like we're forming a triangle," Tucker explained.
"Okay, fine. Triangle of confusion, rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery WHO THE FUCK CARES? GET THE GODDAMN SHOW ON THE ROAD–"
"Alright alright! Sorry!" Tucker tried to calm the enraged ghost, turning to the Reds.
"What're they talking about?" She overheard Donut ask.
"Quiet, Admiral Poppin' Fresh!" Caboose whispered, "I think they are talking about your golden flaky crust!"
:Yeah. Definitely gonna die.:
:I'm assuming that it's sounding just as stupid on your end then, Tali?:
:You guessed it April. Why the hell did Tex have to go? She would solve this easily.:
:She never did like to stick around in one place. Always fidgety.:
:That's because you only really talked to her while she was on the run from Freelancer, April.:
:Ohh… right.:
"Hello everyone!" Tucker called to the large group, "We're here to surrender! And this time, we would like to ask one representative/prisoner from each group to cross sides–"
"Hey, I think I see Lopez over there," Grif exclaimed.
"Lopez the Heavy takes orders from your kind no more."
"Yup. It's him," Grif said at the sound of Spanish.
:Uh, you hear that April?:
:Yeah… was it really a good idea to do this trade when the angry robot is right there to watch us give you slave robots?:
:…Fuck.:
"Okay, get going pinky," Tucker ordered Donut, watching as the pink soldier ventured to the middle.
"Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun! I will always remember you're buttery goodness!… who was that guy?"
She sighed in her mind, watching as one of the cobalt colored robots—
:Francisco Montague Zanzibar.:
:…The fuck kinda name is that?:
:Sarge made it up. The other one is called Robot Number 2 because it's sass chip rejected the other names.:
:Church is totally gonna possess that one.:
:That's what I thought too!:
"A robot! They wish to turn our own kind against us!"
:Uh-oh.:
:Hmm… let this play out, or sit back and watch?: April mused.
They both replied at the same time, :Watch.:
"Um, Church?" Tucker prompted, "In hindsight, don't you think it was a bad idea to put Lopez around a bunch of robots?"
"Just stick to the plan, I'll draw Lopez's fire," Church assured.
"And how are you gonna do that?" Tali asked, tuning into the radio frequency, "Fire ghost bullets at him?"
"…Tali… I don't appreciate your negativity right now."
Tali sighed, "We're gonna die."
"What the– it is a double cross! Donut, Frankie Zan, get back here–"
"No, everyone stay where you are!" Tucker yelled, aiming his pistol at Lopez, "Do not go back!"
"This isn't working…" Tali muttered, before a loud noise burst into her ear, "AH!"
"Ow–mother–… what the hell is that noise?" Tucker seemed to hear it too.
"Come in Red Command, come in. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Do you read me?" Oh, Sarge was calling Command… but if Tucker could hear it too…
"Hello, hello, who's there, come in. Is that you Private Tucker?" Oh shit. Vic, you fucking idiot.
:What? What's going on?:
:Tucker is listening in to Sarge's radio transmission, and it's the same fucking operator for Blue Command. He's not an idiot, he's gonna figure it out!:
:Figure out what?:
:That there isn't actually and Red vs. Blue conflict! The Red and Blue Command originate from the same place; The Freelancer Command Center!:
:Oh… that's not good.:
:Really April, that's all you have to say?:
:What do you want from me?!:
"Oh, hey there Sarge. Long time no see, sorry about that I… uhm… anyway what can we do for ya here at Red Command today?" Fuuuuuu–
Tali looked at Tucker out of the corner of her eye, seeing him stiffen and lower his pistol, and she knew right then, he had figured something out.
Wait, wha– Sarge wanted an air strike? What the fuck?
"But I can't! I had to use spare parts form the fax machine to build Simmons 2.0!"
What! Simmons 2.0—
:What the hell? There's paper coming out of Simmons ass!: April yelled over the link.
Okay, this was way too much crazy for her in one place.
"What the hell, Vic? How do you know the Red team? Why are you helping them against the Blues? What the fuck is going on here?" Oh god… Tucker figured it out.
And then Vic fucking hung up! Way to not be suspicious, asshole!
Sarge started screaming, Caboose ran up in the middle with him and screaming for the hell of it, and she could only watch as Tucker started yelling.
"Wait everyone! Stop fighting! It's all a lie! Red is blue! Blue is red! It's all the same!"
"Tucker! You're radio is giving too much feedback, shut it off!" Church yelled from behind the Reds, jumping into Robot Number Two. Ha, knew it.
"I've got a boner for murder!" The fuck Sarge?
Tali heard an odd noise behind her and Tucker, and turned to see one of the Covenant ghost's with… oh fuck!
She forgot about Doc!
Another form was holding a rocket launcher a ways away, and she squinted, seeing…
Another Church with a rocket launcher?!
"There's no Red vs. Blue! It's all the–"
The other Church fired a rocket, it heading straight for Tucker, and Tali didn't think, she just acted.
Guess it's time to try out the thruster pack armor upgrade, she thought grimly, lurching toward Tucker and engaging the armor ability, feeling herself propel forward. Tucker was cut off mid-sentence as she slammed into him, carrying him with her as she zoomed away from the rocket's destination.
She felt shrapnel plunge into her back armor, just barely skimming her skin before being propelled out by her shields, and she hissed as they landed, Tucker sprawled on his back and her ontop of him, clutching to his waist for dear life.
She registered distantly that April was calling out to her, but something caused her to be dizzy, and she had trouble focusing.
What the hell was… oh dammit Omega! She thought as she fell into unconsciousness.
…
…
…
She didn't care that the Reds would think it odd that she was running towards the fallen green soldier. Didn't care that Doc was taking off with Lopez, or that the others were crowding around the Red base, leaving Tucker and Tali on the ground. All she saw was the woman that protected her from so much sprawled on the ground, and she bolted towards her.
Skidding to a stop by the body of Tali while Tucker leaned over her, she held up her hands as she was met with Tucker's magnum.
"Relax… I'm not gonna hurt her," She stated slowly.
"Uh-Huh. Cause I totally believe that," Tucker snarled.
Screw it, she thought, and said, "My name is April, but you, uh, may have heard the name Aries instead. I'm Tali's little sister, and I've been in touch with her for some time. Please, let me help her."
Tucker was frozen for a moment before he lowered his aim and said, "She...said she didn't have contact with you. Any of her siblings, really."
"Well it was either lie or tell her team that I was on the other side of the war," She retorted, sinking down on her knees and injecting her sister with biofoam, "It doesn't look too bad," She tried to comfort the cyan soldier, "It looks like she slipped into unconsciousness because of the stress."
Or O'Malley managed to do something to her to render her immobile during his attack. He probably did that electric shock again, She thought glumly, looking up at Tucker.
"Should that make me feel better?" Tucker asked, "Because it doesn't."
"Trust me, I'm just as angry as you are. I want to tear O'Malley a new one, that's for sure," April snarled venomously, before she stood and said in a softer voice, "Can you carry her?"
Tucker scooped Tali up bridal style, cradling her to his chest protectively, and April couldn't help but smile at the sight. Tali would be fine, thank god, and she was so gonna tease her about this.
"Names Tucker," The man nodded once.
"As I said, I'm Aries, but call me April," She replied, briefly noting that he, along with most of the men around here, was extremely tall, and guided him to where the Reds and Blues were talking about the irony of the situation.
…
…
…
Ow. What the hell happened?
"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice but to leave Tali."
"Who's Tali? The green guy?"
She shot up with a cough, suddenly feeling remarkably better than she did a couple seconds ago. She noticed that she scared multiple people in her sudden outburst, but two others were by her side.
"Tali, you okay? Come on, talk to me!" Tucker rambled as he held onto her hand like it was a lifeline.
"Tali, listen to my voice, okay? You remember what happened? You were hit by the splash of the rocket blast, but you're okay now," April assured her.
"Where's… where's O'Malley… I know I heard his stupid fucking laugh," She growled.
Tucker made a relieved sound and called out, "She's fine, guys!"
"She? You mean the guy that's evaded a shit ton of our attacks, managed to wreck the Warthog by tricking us twice, and made Simmons faint is a girl?" Grif asked incredulously.
"I did not faint!" Simmons yelped.
"Yes you did! Twice!" Grif yelled back.
"Uh… yeah?" Church said in reply.
Much to Tucker's distress, she stood and walked over to the group of Reds and Blues, ignoring his hovering, "What's this about leaving me behind?" Tali asked Church as she crossed her arms.
"Well, we were gonna go through the teleporter without you since you were passed out, but… ar-are you okay?" Church asked in concern, stepping towards her in his new robot body.
"Relax, I'm fine. Just… can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" She looked around the group.
To her surprise, Sarge spoke up, "To put it in the condensed version… well, the loony toon Doc came outta nowhere and threw everything into a panic, getting my hopes up for one person and particular to perish–"
"Fuck you too, sir," Grif snapped.
"–and then he took Lopez."
"And he shot at me, but you tackled me out of the way," Tucker added from behind her.
What? Omega didn't shoot at Tucker, the other Church did. And that's not possible… unless an A.I. that could distort time was–
Fucking Gamma.
Her realization aside, she nodded along with everyone, "So we're going in after him through the teleporter I'm guessing?"
"Exactly," April affirmed, "Should be fun."
Tali laughed, not noticing the odd looks they received from the others besides Tucker, Caboose and Sheila, and then asked, "What?"
"…Nothing. Okay, Tucker, you stay behind," Church ordered.
"Sweet. I'll take any opportunity not to go through the damn teleporter again," He said, rather pleased with the results of this talk.
Without warning, Sarge and Caboose charged through the teleporter, leaving the others to puzzle over the odd camaraderie that had already formed between the women they knew as Tali and April.
The two women looked at each other, talking though the link.
:I guess it's time to spill the beans, huh April?:
:Yeah… I don't mind though. I missed talking with you face to face.:
"Hey Church?" Tali broached, gesturing to the Cinnamon and Prussian colored soldier, "This… is Apr- uh, I mean Aries."
Church stared for a long moment, looking directly at April as he tried to process what Tali just said. After what seemed like an eternity, he replied like so.
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP SPRINGING THIS SHIT ON ME YOU INSUFFERABLE BITCHES?!"
"Wow, no need to be so rude, brother," April giggled as Church stomped as he yelled.
"Wait a second; I thought your name was April," Grif stepped forward, looking at April with confusion.
"Well, technically my name is Aries like the Zodiac sign, but as you can see, they don't exactly sound like an actual human's name," April replied, "So I changed it to April, and here it is."
"Oh awesome! You can be a part of our spy movie too! Agent Aries, the sister of Taurus, hell bent on finding her and making things right–"
"Shut up, Donut!" Grif whined.
"So hold on," Church tried to comprehend his sister's logic, "You've been in this canyon for two months, and you didn't say anything?!"
"…No?" April replied, unsure how else to answer.
"...Aries–"
"It's April now," She corrected.
"STOP CHANGING YOUR NAMES ON ME!" Church wailed, stomping his feet like a child.
"Well to prepare you if we ever run into our other siblings later, their names are now Libby and Scout," Tali informed him with an amused smile on her face, nudging April's shoulder as she giggled.
"Wait-wait a second," Simmons spoke up from his spot beside the teleporter, "You mean to tell us that April is the sister of both this blue and Tali?"
"Yes. That's exactly it," Tucker affirmed, enjoying watching Church freak out.
"Now, if we're all understanding this–"
"I'm not done here!" Church exclaimed.
"–can we please just go through the teleporter and find O'Malley now?" Tali finished, looking around.
Church pointed at her, saying lowly, "We are not done here."
"Mkay, see ya Church!" April chirped as she dragged Tali along and grabbed Simmons arm, "See you on the other side guys!" She called as she dragged the three of them through the teleporter.
A prolonged silence went on the top of Red base, before Church cried out to the entire canyon a distressed statement.
"Why are all my sisters fucking insane?"
…
…
…
Donut was trying his best not to look at Sheila when suddenly, a black blur sped past him and smashed its fist into Francisco Montague Zanzibar so hard that it's helmet shattered on impact, leaving it a useless, twitching shell on the ground.
"AH WHAT WAS THAT?!" Donut screamed in terror.
"Alright you sons a bitches, I'm back," Tex grinned predatorily as she straightened, fist still clenched, "And I've got some– hey where'd everybody go?" She asked to herself, looking around in confusion until she saw the pink soldier, "Do I know you? Hey! You're the girl that threw that grenade at me!"
Tex glared at him while Sheila slowly swung her canon to look at him. Tucker only backed up very slowly and tried not to be spotted by the black armored bitch.
Donut looked away and uttered in a scared tone, "Uh-oh…"
…
…
…
Sarge splashed right into a creek and gritted his teeth, giddy from all the violence.
"Prepare to surrender, dirtbag!" He yelled, cocking his shotgun, only to find no one there.
"Okay! I surrender!" Caboose exclaimed innocently as he appeared behind Sarge and slightly to the left, pistol aimed towards him, "Now it's your turn!"
"Not you, moron!" Sarge shook his head, turning to the Blue, "Wait a minute, where are we?"
"...Miss Tali?" Caboose called hopefully, "Are you there?"
Sarge's sigh answered him.
…
…
…
Simmons, Tali and April all tumbled out of the teleporter in a mess of limbs.
"Was it really a good idea to pull us all in at the same time, April?" Tali groaned, standing unsteadily on her feet.
"Eh, heat of the moment," April shrugged in return.
Simmons got up and looked around, just seeing portal after portal in the strange series of rooms, "Where is everybody? And where are we?"
…
…
…
Church and Grif phased into existence on a very familiar ice planet. Church groaned, recognizing the frozen over lake and snow plain. Fucking Sidewinder…
"Alright, now let's just find– hey, where is everybody?" The cobalt blue ghost asked, looking around.
"Woah…" Grif uttered, "Where are we? What is this place?"
"Freeze, drop your weapon!" A very harsh and very gruff voice scared the living daylights out of them.
"Uh-oh," was all Church could say in the moment.
"I said freeze, dirtbag!"
Oh no… Grif thought tiredly.
Just as the orange soldier predicted, there was that familiar beep, and a pistol butt was smashed down on his helmeted head.
"OW!...AW, COME ON!"
...
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Thank you to the guest reviewer and Boggie445 and everyone that followed and faved! And also, this story hit a thousand views! Woo!
I'm going to be offline for the next three days, as I said before (writers conference at a college I really want to go to) but I will post the next chapter as soon as possible! I'll see you all in season 3 ;)
Lonessa out.