A/N: I'm quite proud of myself for getting this out, despite life. However, I only managed it by becoming an insomniac. Therefore, feel free to review to say "your spelling is atrocious!"

Emmett's POV

After Alice and Jazz left, Bella got really embarrassed. It was weird, listening to her heart speed up and feeling her temperature rise a bit and seeing that funny little human blush. It was so strange, looking at a human and being round a human all day, but I was getting used to all the little things that showed how she was feeling. It was a damn sight easier than telling with vampires, that was for sure. Maybe being mortal did have some perks.

"Oh gosh, I'm so, so sorry, I'm causing so much stress with everyone, and now Alice-"

"It's fine, Bella, it really is," Rose said.

"But I've caused so much trouble over the last couple of years; I never wanted to cause any distress—I'm so sorry."

"Bella, dear, don't worry about us," Esme said, sounding very calm and gentle and motherly. "We're all far more concerned about you at the moment. Alice will be fine."

Yeah, because Alice was immortal. Unlike Bella.

I was surprised Edward didn't glare at me when I thought that. He was always so touchy, and I guess I would have expected him to be even touchier at the moment. But he didn't even blink. It was true what Bella said: we'd come across more trouble in the last few years than we ever had before, all centred round her, and that must really hurt Edward. It felt like he was always about to lose her. What happened to happily ever afters?

"Carlisle, do you want to take those measurements now?" Edward said. He sounded so un-gentlemanly, totally unlike Edward, more animal-like than I'd heard before.

"Is that alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked her.

"Sure," she said. As if she would have said "no, actually, I'm going to make things more difficult for everyone". The thing about Bella was that she never tried to cause trouble. She just did.

We waited in silence for Carlisle to get some scales and stuff. Esme kept looking from Bella to Edward to Rose again and again, and every now and again she looked at me too. Bella looked at her hands in her lap, and Edward and Rose watched her. I was kind of watching everyone else, but mostly I was just staring at the TV. Like a habit, like touching wood. If you cross your fingers, it doesn't count, and everything will be okay.

"Here we are, then," Carlisle said when he came back. "If you'd like to step on here, Bella…"

So the measuring began. First her weight. When she saw whatever the scales said, Bella gasped.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked.

"That's exactly what I weighed the day before the wedding," Bella admitted.

Oh great. So even though she was absolutely huge, she'd lost the same amount of weight she'd put on because she wasn't eating properly. Great start.

Then Carlisle measured her stomach from top to bottom. "Sorry about the cold," he said, smiling at her.

"I'm kind of used to it," she said, trying to smile back.

He nodded. "Of course," he said, but Edward flinched a bit. "Twenty centimetres," Carlisle announced.

"Half-term," Rosalie added. If there was anything to know about pregnancy, my Rose knew it. She hadn't gone to medical school for nothing.

"Half-term," Bella repeated, and she sounded a bit faint. Surprised, but happy.

"What do you think about that?" Rose asked. I smiled a bit. It was the first time that Rose had really tried to get to know Bella, and I was glad. I was fond of the little human, and her klutziness, and her blushes, and most of all what she'd done for Edward—he had seriously needed to get laid. Usually, though, it was him who was always asking Bella 'what are you thinking' which used to be so funny. Edward, the know-it-all, having to actually ask someone something. Rose asking it sounded a bit… well, wrong.

Bella's mouth opened, but she didn't speak for a moment. "I'm surprised, a bit. Though not much. I mean, it's not as if I don't look it. Relieved, because the quicker this goes, the less stress everyone has. And…" She quickly looked at Edward before she went on. "It's wonderful. A new life, and half ready already. I can't quite believe it."

Rose laughed out loud. I grinned. Rose being happy made me happy; I couldn't help it. "So you believe in the vampires at school, and the werewolves down the road, but you don't believe in a baby in your stomach?" I asked Bella. "What, have you forgotten how it got…"

Damn.

Me and my stupid mouth. Bella was staring at me in horror, and if Bella had got the innuendo, then no one else had missed it. Rose sighed. Carlisle threw me one of those fatherly looks that said 'I'm very disappointed in you'. Esme didn't even look at me; she was watching Edward, who looked away from Bella. He didn't glare at me or anything, just looked away. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

"Edward…" Bella said, and she reached out to put her hand on his arm. He didn't move. Okay, this was a lot worse than really, really bad.

Carlisle stepped in. "I'm just going to take some bloods now. Esme, Emmett, would you like to step outside for a moment?"

Was he kidding me? What I wanted right then was to run for the door and sprint clear to another state. Another continent, maybe. Esme nodded, smiling at Bella, and she got up painfully slowly. I jumped up at a humanly impossible speed, ready to bolt.

"Will you be okay, Rose?" Bella asked. She sounded scared, probably afraid of getting her blood sucked. Or maybe she was scared of upsetting her. In her shoes, I would've been afraid of upsetting her, too.

But Rose surprised me. She just tossed her beautiful, long, thick hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Please give me a little credit. I have been through medical school, you know."

Bella smiled. I knew there was no way Rose would leave Bella at the moment, and it was almost as certain that she wouldn't drink her blood. The baby was too precious. Esme opened the back door, softly as always, letting me go through first. I was off in a shot, bounding across the meadow and leaping across the river before Esme had even left the porch. She caught up though, because I stopped. I didn't really want to go too far. I was too worried about everyone, Bella and Rose the most. If something happened to Bella and the baby, Rose would be devastated.

Esme was watching me, waiting for me to say something. Waiting to pounce on me, more like. I'd really screwed up this time.

"Any idea how long this'll take?" I asked. Surely that wouldn't give her an excuse to attack.

"I'm afraid not. It's not a process I'm familiar with," she said. No, of course she wasn't. And that's the end of that conversation.

The silence went on for a bit longer, and I got more and more guilty, and more and more tense, and then finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay, I'm sorry!" I said loudly. "I'm an idiot, and I should think about what I say before it comes thundering out of my mouth."

But Esme laughed softly, surprising me. "And here I thought you had never listened to what we've been telling you for seventy years." She sighed. "It's not your fault, Emmett. Almost anything would upset Edward now. What Bella said probably hurt him more than what you did."

"Yeah, but he'd never get annoyed with Bella," I pointed out.

"True," she agreed. "But my point is that while you should try to think about your comments slightly more at the moment, you shouldn't worry overmuch. When it comes down to it, you will always be yourself, and you have always antagonised Edward. It's inevitable that you will annoy and upset him at the moment."

"I guess," I said. "Doesn't stop me feeling like an idiot."

"And I would love to say that that's part of being human."

I laughed. "We seriously need our own language. When Carlisle's going on about humanity, it sounds so stupid."

"Maybe we should devote a while to creating one," Esme suggested, smiling.

"Nah, far too boring," I said.

She laughed. "Perhaps we could leave that idea to rest for a few decades then."

"Few centuries, more like," I said.

Both of our heads snapped up. Carlisle was opening the door. "It's quite safe to come back, now," he called. "Only the slightest of traces left, and the sample is in my office, if you want to avoid it."

"Shall we?" Esme said, and then we started back for the house, a bit slower than when we had left. I jumped over the river, rather than running through it, because I thought Esme had enough to deal with without getting mudstains out of the carpet. Heck, that sounded almost considerate. This whole pregnancy thing was getting to me.

When we got in, Bella was sitting back on the sofa, with Edward beside her and Rose standing behind her. Carlisle had gone back to his office, to analyse the blood, I guessed.

"Sorry, Edward, mate," I said. He wasn't really listening to thoughts at the moment. Too busy with his own, probably. "And sorry, Bella."

"No, that's fine, Emmett. It's just how you are. Don't be sorry," Bella said.

Edward looked at me and nodded. Well, better than nothing.

No one said anything for a moment. It was all so awkward. Normally everyone was talking, or doing something. Fifty years as a family and we never ran out of things to say. If it was a normal day, me and Rose might be working on a car, or I might be playing video games with Jazz, or maybe watching a game, or going out to hunt, or planning a practical joke on Edward.

"Bella, dear," Esme said, after a bit. "Would you like to try to eat something now?"

She looked nervous. I suppose if eating made me throw up, I'd be nervous too. And wasn't there acid in human stomachs or something? That must hurt her throat. Bit like being round humans, I imagined.

"Yeah, okay," she said. "Um, what is there?"

"Esme and Alice went slightly mad shopping for human food," I said. "Honestly, you'd think they were trying to get something interesting."

Bella smiled. Good. She really needed to smile a bit at the moment.

"So we've got cereal, toast, eggs, Pop-Tarts, pancakes, porridge, croissants, pain au chocolat…" Esme reeled off.

"Wow. You meant it, didn't you?" Bella said to me.

"Oh yeah. Wait until you hear all the non-breakfast stuff. And the drinks!"

Carlisle came back in then. "If I may, I'd suggest that you eat something sugary. Your blood sugar levels are quite low. Otherwise, your bloods are completely normal for a pregnant woman."

Rose beamed, I smiled and so did Esme. Edward's face didn't change at all.

Bella nodded and she looked relieved. "Good. Great. In which case, could I have a Pop-Tart, please?"

It was so funny watching her, because she looked so uncomfortable asking someone else to make her breakfast. In any other situation, I could have had fun with that.

"Of course," Esme smiled. "What flavour would you like?"

I groaned, loudly. Rose giggled a bit, and Carlisle smiled at us all. Edward looked away, probably disgusted that any of us dare even consider seeing a humorous side in anything at the moment.

A bit of comedy might do everyone some good, I thought. He ignored me. Maybe he did actually agree, but he just couldn't find anything funny. Not his fault.

"Whatever's got the highest sugar content, I'm not fussed," Bella said. Esme smiled and went out to fetch a Pop-Tart and I settled down to watch Bella eat.

Watching Bella eat was really weird. I found it kind of fascinating. I couldn't remember eating anything ever, besides on dares of course, but I still couldn't remember eating anything and not coughing it up later. I definitely couldn't remember eating anything and actually enjoying it. Seeing Bella chew everything so slowly, with her blunt little teeth, bit by bit, was an odd experience for me. I wondered how it tasted to her, since everything tasted disgusting to us unless it was blood. All the different words like bitter, sharp, savoury, sweet and sour didn't really mean anything to me. We called human blood sweet-tasting and animal blood sour, but they were just words. We might have it entirely wrong. Who knows?

Unfortunately, I didn't get to watch her eat much. Because after managing two bites, she went that weird shade of green, and threw up into the bowl that Rose had already got from the kitchen and shoved under her nose.

Great. Just great.

A/N: I don't actually know what the next chapter will be, or from whose POV it'll be. I'm going for ch5 of another fic first, so be prepared to wait a bit. Sorry. Insomnia is actually very difficult to maintain, you know.