So I know the previous chapter was a little boring, but it was still important in terms of Kurt's development. This chapter has a lot going on though, so enjoy!
"Kurt, give it back!"
"You've had it all morning, it's my turn!"
"You had it all day yesterday"
"You were grounded! That's not my problem!"
"So what? You still had it! Now give it back!"
"No! You're being selfish!"
"Me? You had it all day yesterday and you totally just took it out of my hands!"
"Oh My God, Finn, you're so vexatious!"
"You can't use words I don't know to insult me! That's not fair, you're just pointing out you know more words than me!"
"Well I do…"
"Well you're a jerk!"
"Brute!"
"Idiot!"
"Nincompoop"
"Loud mouthed poop weasel"
"Cantankerous oaf!"
"That is ENOUGH!" It was the first week of summer break, and the boys had spent the majority of it fighting. Every little thing turned into a fight. Never physical…well, almost never. Finn did throw a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Kurt the other day. Mostly just yelling and being mean to one another, but it was never-ending. Carole wasn't feeling well, and had spent most of the week laying down in bed, leaving Burt to deal with things with the boys, and he was quickly growing tired of breaking up fights. He was completely fed up with his boys. He took the ipad out of Kurt's hands.
"Kitchen table. Both of you. Now." He said, sternly. The boys followed orders, too intimidated not to.
"Kurt, over here, across from Finn," Burt ordered. When Kurt had done so, Burt continued, gesturing to the ipad. "This is mine for the next week. Neither one of you gets to touch it. Now, you are both going to sit here for the next 13 minutes. You are going to look each other in the eye, and you are not going to look away or make a sound. Got it?"
"Dad, come on! We're 13, not 8," Kurt protested.
"I'm 13. You're only 12," Finn pointed out.
"Shut up, Jerk!"
"Butt face"
"Congratulations, you've just made it 15 minutes," Burt cut in. "You act like a couple of 8 year olds screaming at each other and calling each other names, then you can sit in time-out like a couple of 8 year olds," Burt said, moving to the oven and setting the timer for 15 minutes. "Your mother is sick. She needs to rest, not listen to the two of you bicker and fight. 15 minutes, no noise. Look at each other, lock eyes. I mean it," Burt warned, turning to start the coffee pot.
Kurt was annoyed. His dad was treating them like they were 8! And Finn was just being an annoying jerk. This was all his fault! Kurt kicked his foot out, catching Finn in the knee.
"OW! Shit, Kurt, what's your problem?" Finn exclaimed.
"Kurt, feet to yourself. Finn, you watch your language! You've just earned yourself another 2 minutes," Burt informed them calmly, adding the time to the timer. At last, the boys were silent. Staring at each other at the table.
The more Kurt thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he had been egging Finn on lately. Teasing him, doing little things just to annoy him, but Finn was being ultra-sensitive and rude to Kurt, too. Maybe they should try to make up. He did miss the way things used to be between him and Finn. Finn's face was twisted in thought as well…Kurt wondered what he was thinking about. After his—ugh—time out, he would apologize. 10 minutes in, Kurt was bored. And his eyes were watering. He was tired of staring at Finn's face. He blinked several times and trained his eyes back on Finn's. This was…cruel and unusual punishment. He knew he and Finn had been annoying, but he couldn't believe his dad was actually making them do this.
Kurt sighed, and Finn cracked a smile and stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. Kurt had to crack a grin, and crossed his eyes back. Finn wiggled his ears—an ability Kurt had been jealous of. He couldn't help but laugh at the goofy look on his brother's face.
"Quiet," Burt commanded, but the boys continued making goofy faces the remaining 5 minutes. When the timer went off, Burt sat down at the end, between the two boys.
"Now, talk. What's going on with you two," he asked, calmly.
Nobody talked for a few moments, until Finn sighed.
"I just…."
"Yes?" Burt prompted.
"I miss the way it used to be. You always wanted to be around me, you liked playing with me. We were best friends," Finn said. "Now, you're so into your fancy school and your talented friends, it's like I don't exist anymore. I'm just some stupid kid you live with that doesn't know as much as you and is no fun to hang with."
"Finn—" Kurt said, startled. He had no idea Finn felt like that. He missed the way things used to be too, but he thought Finn would be relieved to not constantly have Kurt on his back.
"I…I just… I miss you too," he finally got out. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way…we're just…different people. You have your friends, and I have mine. We like different things, and I finally found a place that I belong. I didn't mean to leave you out, though. We're brothers, we'll always be brothers. Maybe this summer we can find things to do together," Kurt suggested.
"I'd like that," Finn agreed.
"That's more like it. You guys need to learn to talk things out rather than yelling at each other and calling names. You're brothers. You're supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down by calling them names or making them feel bad about themselves," Burt scolded, lightly.
"I'm sorry," Finn mumbled, though genuinely.
"Me too," Kurt agreed.
And the boys spent the rest of the afternoon playing outside together. They rode their bikes, and Finn convinced Kurt to give street hockey a try. Kurt wasn't good at it, but he got a little better…enough to block a few of Finn's shots, and even score a point of his own!
Carole was still not feeling well, but as they'd found out about the pregnancy pretty late in the game and had only known a week, the first trimester was already almost over. Carole had always had a bit of irregularity, and they didn't think pregnancy was a possibility for them. They had talked about the possibility of fostering again, but Kurt was so up and down in his progress and they were concerned about the triggers bringing another abused or neglected child into the home would cause for him. They decided to wait a few more years…once Kurt was 15 or 16, maybe they'd consider it. They never considered the possibility of another child the natural way—the doctor said Burt was basically shooting blanks. He was "virtually" sterile.
At first Burt was not happy. He had no idea what to do with a baby; Finn was 2 when he met him. They had their hands full with Kurt and Finn, and he felt like having a baby would take the attention both boys craved away from them. But, ready or not this baby was coming, and the more Burt thought about it, the happier he became. Because the truth was, Kurt was doing really well, and he thought both boys would come to be happy about the baby. He loved his boys, but they had room in their hearts to love another baby, too. And Burt did love this baby. Just knowing that this child was being created inside his wife's belly was a pretty special thing. They knew they would have to tell the boys, soon. They were getting worried about their mother being sick for so long, and Carole knew she couldn't hide it much longer. She wasn't showing yet, but she was gaining weight and her stomach was getting thicker. It wouldn't be long now before she started developing a bump. So later that same day, they called the boys inside for dinner, having decided to tell them then.
"Feeling better, mom?" Kurt asked as he took his place next to her.
"Not completely, but I will," she assured him. "I heard some fighting going on, earlier. You boys make up?"
Kurt and Finn both had the decency to flush, ashamedly. "Yes ma'am, we made up. Sorry we bothered you," Finn replied, honestly.
"It's OK. I'm just glad you made up. There's something your dad and I want to talk with you both about, though," she started.
Kurt and Finn, automatically assuming they were going to be scolded more, looked down at their plates, but they quickly discovered that wasn't where this was going.
"As you know, mom hasn't been feeling well lately," Burt told them. "Last week, she went to the doctor to find out if something was wrong."
"Are you sick, mom?" Finn asked, concern evident.
"No," Carole assured him. "I'm not sick, and I'll get better in just a few months. It turns out, we're pregnant! We're going to have a baby this December!"
She got two completely flabbergasted stares back at her.
"But…I thought that couldn't happen? You said that couldn't happen," Finn exclaimed.
"Yes, we didn't think it could. But it did…we are pregnant. Sometimes, the unexpected happens and when it does you have to go with it," Carole explained.
Kurt left the table, and went up to his room where he lay down on his bed and curled his legs into each other. Now, his parents were getting the baby they always wanted…the one they both created. He didn't think they would send him away…they'd adopted him, so they really couldn't…but how could they love the adopted foster kid with tons of issues the same way they love their perfect biological baby?
"Kurt?" Kurt turned over to see his mom standing in the doorway. She entered his room and took a seat on the bed next to him. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked.
Kurt simply shrugged.
"Honey, I can't help you if I don't know why you're upset," she pointed out. She waited for a few moments, when Kurt said nothing she continued. "Are you upset about the baby?"
Nod.
Carole had anticipated the different possible reactions of Kurt, and this was one of them. "Are you upset that I'm pregnant? You think there's a difference between biological children and adopted children?"
Kurt looked at his mother, tears shining in his eyes.
"Oh, honey. Listen, it's true that Burt and I had thought we couldn't have biological children, but we were never too upset by it. We wanted to give kids a home that needed one. And you know what? I'm glad we couldn't have children biologically back then, because it led us to meeting you, and sweetie there couldn't be any child in the world that I love more than you. I love you and Finn just as much as I love this baby and nothing could ever change that," she promised. Carole knew it would probably take time for Kurt to come around and in the meantime she'd just have to make sure to spend as much time with him as she could and let him help prepare for the baby. Finn was already on board, but she was pretty sure he would be. That kid never really let anything get him down, at least not for long.
Kurt shrugged. Sure, it sounded good in theory, but once the baby was here she wouldn't be able to help but love it most.
"Listen, I'm thinking you and me, cookie baking day tomorrow. How does that sound?" She wanted to promise him more, but she still wasn't feeling well and didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep. Kurt smiled and nodded in agreement.
XXXXX
Three weeks later, June was coming to an end. Carole was feeling much better now; she had a lot more energy and was no longer feeling sick all the time, but she was also beginning to show and her clothing was no longer fitting.
"Kurt?" she asked, peeking her head into his bedroom on a Saturday. "What are your plans for the rest of the day? I'm outgrowing all of my clothes and I need a new wardrobe."
She had to laugh at the speed in which Kurt jumped from his bed. "I can be ready in an hour!" he told her, rushing to the bathroom.
Carole was making good on her promise to spend as much time with the boys as she could, and they were both eating up the attention. Kurt was even starting to come around to the baby's arrival! True to his word, he arrived in the kitchen promptly 45 minutes later, dressed and ready to go. He poured himself a bowl of cereal. Finn had been invited to join them, but he wrinkled his nose and said he was going to Sam's.
Kurt and Carole had a wonderful time shopping. They went to thrift stores and resale shops, where things would be cheaper, and she was pleasantly surprised with how well Kurt could pick out and put together random things to make a really cute outfit. She knew he was good, she just didn't know how. A few hours later, Carole had a nice wardrobe that should last her most of her pregnancy, unless she grew to be enormous. She and Kurt went to a late afternoon lunch before heading home.
XXXXX
Later that night, Kurt received a call from Derek. He took it in the bathroom where he would have some privacy. Derek informed him that a bunch of kids from Bajar would be getting together at the playground that night to play Capture the Flag, and Derek wanted Kurt to go. Kurt wanted to, he really did. These were his school friends, who he felt safe with, and he'd played the game with them before. He wasn't sure how anything could go wrong, except that he was most definitely not allowed out of the house that late at night. But if there were a way to get in and out without his parents knowing… He agreed to go, and told Derek he'd see him at 11.
At 9:00, Kurt knocked on Finn's door. He decided if he was going to do this, he wanted Finn to come along. For a number of reasons. He felt safer riding to the park if Finn was there, he wanted Finn to be able to hang out with his school friends, and this was an activity that was right up his brother's alley. At Finn's answer, he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He spoke quietly so as not to alert their parents.
"Derek called me," he told his brother. "He said a bunch of kids from Bajar are meeting at 11 tonight at the playground to play Capture the Flag. He wants me to join, and I want you to come, too. What do you think?"
Finn's eyes widened at Kurt's idea. "Mom and dad would never go for that!" he told his brother.
"That's why we have to sneak out."
"Dude! Do you have any idea how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught?"
"No…not really…I assume a lot. Do you?" Kurt had never really been in any real trouble. He'd been grounded several times, but never more than a week.
"No. But it won't be pretty. Seriously? You want to sneak out?" Finn asked, still flabbergasted.
"Yes."
Finn really did want to go with Kurt. He'd never been on an adventure like this with his brother, and while it was nerve racking so blatantly disobeying, he thought it sounded like a lot of fun. Plus, he had to be there to protect his brother if anything ended up going wrong.
"OK, then I'm in."
Kurt's smile widened. "OK. This is my idea. I saw it in a movie. I'll tell mom and dad I'm going to bed around 10. You say goodnight at 10:15. Stay in bed until 10:30, then arrange your pillows under your blanket to make it look like you're sleeping. Meet me in the baby's room after that. Hopefully mom will check on us before 10:30, but if not she'll think we're under the blankets. Hide in the closet. I'll be waiting for you there, or you wait for me there. We can leave from the baby room's window, there's plenty of roof there to make it to the tree, and we can climb down the tree. Sound good?"
Finn stared at his brother, flabbergasted yet impressed. He never thought Kurt would be the one making 'sneak out of the house at night without alerting the parents' plans. He nodded enthusiastically. It sounded great!
The plan went off as hoped, and the boys met in the baby room's closet. Kurt was happy Finn got there first. He had been a little nervous his brother would fall asleep or lose track of time. "You ready?" he asked. Finn nodded.
Kurt slid open the window, and the boys climbed onto the roof. Finn closed the window as far as he could, leaving a small crack at the bottom where they could pry it back open. Luckily, his dad had removed the screen for cleaning, so they didn't have to worry about that. They climbed down the tree and it was then that Kurt noticed their first complication. He doubted he would be able to get back up the tree, and they didn't bring a key to the house. But they would figure it out when they got back, he was sure. There was nothing they could do about it now anyway, so the boys grabbed their bikes and rode across town to the playground.
A small group of kids were already there, but it was still early. He met up with Max, Natalie and Rose, and introduced his brother to those he didn't already know. Brittany showed up a few minutes later, along with Derek and Lisa. When everyone had arrived, a total of about 30, they split into two teams.
Kurt and his team, which included Finn, Derek, Natalie, Brittany, and several others stuffed their flag under a small fountain, and Derek and Jack volunteered to guard it. It was great fun! Kurt, Finn and Natalie tried to stick together, until Natalie was shot and had to go back to base and start over. Kurt and Finn's team won. It was Kara and Lousia who got the flag, but Kurt and Finn had been the ones to shoot the two guarding it so they had to go back to base. They were subsequently shot, themselves, but it gave Kara and Lousia the opportunity to run in and capture the flag, winning them the game. By the time the kids congregated at the playground again, it was going on 2am. They were about to break it up when a squad car rolled in.
"Hey, what are you kids up to at this time?" The cop asked, getting out of the car. Most of the kids ran, but Kurt froze, and Finn wasn't about to go without him. He and Finn, along with 3 other kids including Brittany were caught by the officers. One of them took Kurt's elbow and began leading him to a picnic table, ordering him to sit. Kurt tried to avoid the panic attack, but he started hyperventilating. The cop didn't seem to notice.
"What were you kids doing out here at this hour?" he asked again.
By this time, Kurt was having trouble breathing. Finn tried to get to him, but the cop stopped him.
"Please, sir, my brother has panic attacks," he begged. The cop noticed Kurt's condition and let Finn go. Finn began trying to calm him down the way his parents did. Brittany and Kayla, meanwhile, were answering one cop's questions, while the other retrieved an unopened bottle of water for Kurt.
"You're his brother?" the cop asked. Finn nodded. "Alright, what's your phone number?"
Finn rambled off his number, and a sleepy Burt picked up on the 4th ring. He picked up on the fourth ring. 10 minutes later, Burt was at the park. He assisted Kurt in calming down, and then ordered the boys to the car while he talked to the officer.
The officer informed Burt that there would be no legal ramifications for the kids, as this was their first offense, but he encouraged Burt to make it clear to his children the dangers of this sort of stunt, as well as the illegality. Burt assured him that he would make it very clear. He got in the car, started it up, and began to back out, leaving the officers to drive Brittany and the other kids home.
"What about our bikes?" Finn asked.
"Are they locked?" Finn nodded. "We'll get them tomorrow." And they began the silent drive home.
As they arrived home, he opened the car door and told the boys to get out. He grabbed each boy by the arm and escorted them inside and to the table, where he ordered them to sit down. Carole had made a pot of tea while they were gone, and gave the boys disappointed looks when they came in. She made Burt leave the room for a few minutes to calm down, but she wasn't any less angry with the boys then he was. She took two cups of tea and joined Burt in the living room to talk.
Finn and Kurt, for their part, were terrified. Kurt pushed his panic away and concentrated on his breathing. He knew his parents wouldn't hurt him, but it was really hard to keep the panic at bay right now, especially because he was already exhausted from his previous one. Finally, Burt re-entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.
"What were you thinking?" he asked, deadly calm.
"It just…sounded fun," Finn answered.
"We were just playing a game," Kurt replied.
"It was no big deal. We were safe…we even wore helmets on our bikes," Finn stated.
"We didn't want to be left out—everybody was going!" Kurt put in.
"You rode across town on your bikes, by yourself at midnight, sneaking out of the house because you knew you weren't allowed out, and were picked up by cops, all for some stupid little game! What if you were hurt? You could have been kidnapped and we would have had no idea where you were! What if something had triggered Kurt and you weren't in a safe spot? Did you think at all? Damn it boys!" Burt's voice continued to raise, and he was yelling by the time he was done with his rant, and his hand came down hard on the table, with a loud CRASH.
And Kurt tipped over backward in his chair, and was scurrying to the corner of the kitchen before Burt had realized what was happening.
Kurt hadn't had a flashback in years. But Burt was angry. He'd never seen him like this. It was scary. It reminded him of Uncle Charles, though Kurt was only five at the time, he still had nightmares sometimes. And then his hand landed on the table, and Uncle Charles was coming at him with a belt, and Kurt was scurrying to get away. He kicked, punched, bit, whatever he could to stop Uncle Charles from touching him. Keep him away.
Burt immediately regretted not controlling his temper. He recognized the signs of the flashback too late, he hadn't been paying attention. He half thought they were gone, Kurt hadn't had one in years. He couldn't get near his son without being punched, bitten or kicked. Carole tried to step in, but Burt wouldn't let her. Kurt wouldn't know if he punched her in the stomach, and he didn't want to hurt the baby. Finally he was able to get behind Kurt and secure him in the restraining hold he hadn't used in so long. It took Kurt an hour and a half to wear himself out enough to sleep, and Burt carried him to his bed before going back to his own. He'd sent Finn to bed an hour ago. The boys slept until 10, while the parents were up at 8 discussing punishment, and regret. Finally Kurt made an appearance, followed by Finn. He tensed at the sight of Burt, and Burt looked at him apologetically.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. You guys scared me so much last night and I lost my temper. I shouldn't have. I was upset, but that's no excuse. I'm the adult and I should have had a hold of my emotions. I didn't mean to scare you, but I would never, ever lay a hand on you, no matter how angry I am. I promise," he told his son, sincerely. He truly was furious with himself for reacting in such a way. He should have sent the boys to bed to deal with this in the morning, he never should have tried to talk to them last night. It had only made things worse.
Kurt nodded, and went to his dad for a hug when he held his arms out. He knew his dad was sincere, and even in his anger would not hurt Kurt. He'd gone into a flashback yesterday, which he was upset about, but his defenses were down. He was exhausted from his previous panic attack and trying to keep another one at bay. He knew his dad would never hurt him.
"I didn't mean to scare you, but that doesn't excuse you're actions last night," he said, directing Kurt to the table, and motioning for Finn to join him. "I don't care what your reasoning is, there is no excuse for what you did. Anything could have happened, and I can't tell you how happy I am that those cops found you." Finn and Kurt stared at the table.
"You're both grounded for a month," Carole informed them. "And I mean serious grounding. No friends, phone or screen time. No going out unless it's with dad and I, and you'll be doing some serious chores. If there is any trouble following your grounding, time will be added. And you'll both be on probation for the remainder of summer. Until we can trust you again, there will be restrictions. Got it?"
Kurt looked at his parents with wide eyes, Finn doing the same. His parents usually either grounded him or took away his screen time. Never both! And for a whole month? But they were both too angry for him to argue, so he just nodded, tears leaking from his eyes. Carole placed a plate of pancakes in front of each of them, telling them to eat.
"And then you're going to spend the next hour sitting here, writing about why what you did was dangerous," Burt added.
Two weeks later was Kurt's 13th birthday. Burt and Carole informed him that the party wouldn't take place until the end of July, after his grounding. But they did take the boys out to eat that day, and celebrated his birthday amongst the four of them.
3 days were added to the grounding because of a fight that broke out a week before it was supposed to end, but other than that the boys did a good job of following it, and at the end of July they were free. Sort of. They still weren't allowed to go anywhere without Burt or Carole, but they were allowed to have friends over, play outside, and have their screen time back. Kurt was glad, it was the worst grounding of his life and he never wanted to experience it again! Though he and Finn did get some quality brotherly bonding time, they also got on each other's nerves. A lot. Hence the fight that earned them an extra 3 days.
Carole was now 21 weeks pregnant, and her bump was getting more and more prominent. They decided they didn't want to know the gender, but the doctor said the baby was coming along perfectly.
As promised, Kurt had his birthday party 3 weeks after his actual birthday, but it was still fun. He had a bunch of friends over for a party, both from Bajar and his old public school friends. They had dancing contests, and taught Finn, Sam, Troy and Kyle some ballet steps. The boys were good sports about it, and Sam was actually pretty good. The boys then forced them into a game of soccer. Burt and Carole surprised him with a phone, and gave Finn one as well as a late birthday gift. They made the decision between the two birthdays that the boys were mature enough for a phone, but they wanted them to have them before Christmas.
The family took a trip to New York in August. The parents knew they wouldn't be taking major trips for at least 2 years with the baby coming, and they'd never taken Kurt on a real vacation. Kurt was in heaven. They saw Wicked on Broadway, had picnics in Central Park, spent time in Times Square, and had some quality family time. Finn enjoyed it every bit as much as Kurt. He had to admit, being on stage like that did sound like a lot of fun, and he really did enjoy watching it. Kurt laughed at Finn for hours, reenacting the mime that had chosen Finn to pick on. He followed Finn for several blocks in his invisible box. While Kurt was glad it wasn't him, he was sure it would have been a trigger and stayed on the other side of Burt, he did think it was hilarious. Finally Finn stopped and mimed back to the mime, which attracted a good amount of attention from the crowd. And gave Kurt a hilarious video to show all their friends back home. It was crowded, but Burt made sure to keep Kurt next to him the entire trip, and Kurt stayed panic-attack free. There was one incident with an angry man on the street, but the Hummels removed Kurt from the situation before he could be upset by it. It wasn't a trip they could have handled a few years ago, and Burt was concerned that Kurt would have backtracked after the flashback last month, but he didn't seem to.
They did have to drive to and from New York, because Dr. Wheeler didn't think it a good idea to try Kurt out on an airplane. Kurt was claustrophobic, and it would be an almost definite trigger with no way out. Driving was harder for Carole, as she was coming along in pregnancy, 23 weeks along now, but she was feeling well and made the trip without complaint.
They got back to Ohio with one week left before school started. It was a hubbub of activity getting the boys ready. Kurt's wardrobe trip alone took all day. He was happy to shop resale and enjoyed it quite a bit, but took hours picking things out. Carole had also promised Kurt he could be responsible for helping decorate the baby's room. He was excited, but Carole had to veto the more extravagant ideas, which Kurt was less than happy about. But Carole did not want giant dove statues. She insisted Kurt go much simpler. And he had to keep it gender neutral. Kurt dragged her out to baby store after baby store until Carole put a halt to it. She was going to have a shower, and they didn't need to buy everything for the baby before school started. The room could come along in the next few months.
School started in September, and once again Kurt was happy about how the year looked. He didn't have to take violin this year, but his other classes remained the same. Except that he didn't get to see Brittany as much. She was now a freshman in high school, and most of his classes were with the 7th graders. Kurt and Derek started dating around the time of the first school dance, though his parents insisted he was still too young to really date, he was still "going steady."
It didn't last long. Kurt had a flashback the first time Derek tried to kiss him. He hadn't wanted to kiss Derek. Truth be told, he was afraid something like this might happen if he did, though he convinced himself that he had a good hold on his flashbacks now. He may have had one with his dad a few months ago, but he was exhausted and let his guard down. He thought that, as his boyfriend, he had to get over the kissing thing, and so he didn't pull away or say no when Derek leaned in for it. As soon as he felt Derek's lips on his he was back in the Douser home with Mr. Douser, but it was different. He knew it wasn't really Mr. Douser, but he also knew he had to get out of there, quickly. He pushed Derek away, hard, and ran. It had been in the auditorium at school, so he quickly made his way to the hallway, and the flashback ended as quickly as it started. Kurt had a panic attack though, and Carole had been called to take him home.
Kurt spent the night crying into his mother's shoulder, wondering why the flashbacks had returned. He thought he'd gotten better, but this was two in the last few months alone! Carole gently told him that Dr. Wheeler had said it was a cycle. Sometimes would be worse, sometimes would be better, and Kurt hadn't had anything trigger a flashback in a long time, but that didn't mean they were gone. She also praised Kurt for how well he fought the panic attack. He'd never been able to control himself during one, and he'd never gotten himself out of it so quickly. That, she pointed out, was enormous progress.
Kurt expected all weekend to get a call saying he wasn't welcome back at school, though this flashback, nothing bad happened. Kurt had been through this all before, though admittedly had been lucky in terms of consequences for his actions.
But the call never came. Kurt went back to school on Monday, and everyone treated him the same. He sat waiting for the other shoe to drop until math, when he was finally called into the principle's office. The guidance counselor, nurse and his mother were also there. They informed him that they knew what happened, but Kurt wasn't in any trouble. They wanted to see if he was hurt, and asked him to avoid being alone with another student and put himself in a situation like that again.
Derek didn't really want anything to do with Kurt after that. While Kurt was upset, he couldn't really blame Derek. He was glad at this point that Derek was in high school now, he didn't see him as much.
October arrived. Carole had a baby shower early in the month, and received a lot of stuff. Mostly in green and yellow. Kurt wasn't a big fan of soft green and soft yellow for gender neutral. Luckily it was the clothing, the furniture was all white, which he could work with. And the crib bedding and changing table cover they'd received from Grandma Lorrie was the red Kurt picked out for the registry. Kurt would have to convince his mom to do something about the repetitive soft colors of clothing, he couldn't have his brother or sister stuck wearing that stuff all the time. While he was hesitant at first, Kurt had reached a point now where he was getting to be excited about the impending birth of his brother or sister. His mom was getting quite large now, at 30 weeks along, and was getting tired faster. Finn and Kurt were OK about helping her, though the slacked off pretty often.
The boys had plenty of suggestions for baby names, from "Sizzle" to "Amadeus." Burt and Carole let them list their names, but most of them were vetoed immediately. There were actually some suggestions they really liked. Finn wanted to name his brother "Malachi," and Kurt came up with "Genevieve" for a sister, but they were still trying to settle on the perfect one.
October brought some very unwelcome news, as well. Bajar lost its funding. As most of the school came in on scholarships, they depended on funding. Some of the higher-end arts schools had wealthy investors, but Bajar wasn't a higher end school, it was meant for kids from middle class families to be able to go to a good arts school. At this point, the school wasn't sure if they could keep it open next year, but the one certainty was that after this year, they would no longer be able to offer scholarships. Which meant that almost ¾ of the school wouldn't be able to afford to attend. Kurt was among them. There was no way Burt and Carole had the kind of money to send Kurt to a school like that without a scholarship! Kurt was extremely upset, and took it out on pretty much everybody. While they understood (Kurt's parents were pretty upset about this, themselves) Kurt was making everybody miserable. Burt tried to talk him down, but all it did was cause Kurt to lash out even more. Burt had no choice but to punish him, which he hated to do because he was just as upset about the Bajar thing as Kurt was, but he had broken their dining room window by sending a chair backwards through it. Burt knew he didn't do it on purpose, but his temper had gotten the better of him and he sent it backwards a little too hard when he stood up in a tantrum. Kurt had to learn to control his temper. He didn't get this upset that often, but when he did a lot of things tended to get broken. Dr. Wheeler said that this, too, was often presented in PTSD patients. Unlike flashbacks and panic attacks, however, Burt knew this was something Kurt could have control over. He told him so himself, and Burt had seen Kurt in action before. These weren't panic attacks, they were temper tantrums. And after he lost all access to any kind of electronic or screen for two weeks, Kurt did start practicing his relaxation techniques again. And he realized what his father had told him…they really didn't have any control over this, they were always on his side, and they would try to find the absolute best situation they could for him.
So he and Carole were back to the drawing board in terms of finding Kurt a school. They couldn't afford private school, and most of the scholarships Kurt didn't qualify for. They considered homeschooling again, but they really didn't like the idea of homeschooling him all through high school. And public school just scared them.
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But figuring out what to do about Kurt's schooling situation was put on hold in mid October. Carole was 32 weeks when she went into premature labor at work. Luckily, she worked at a hospital and was immediately brought to the maternity ward. Burt was called; he called Grandma Lorrie to pick up the boys, and met his wife at the hospital. She was hooked up to machines monitoring the baby's heart beat when he arrived.
"Burt, I'm so scared," she said, the fear evident in her face.
"I know, baby, I know. But our baby will be fine. We've made it far enough that our baby will be fine!" Burt tried to reassure her. But he was just as scared as his wife.
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