Hey faithful readers! it's the beta/co-writer speaking (typing)! I just want to thank you all for sending reviews, it specially helped in my hour of need since I had a huge writer's block! This is probably not one of the best chapters, but neh… I tried my best. So please send reviews since it encourages us to write more; any ideas are also greatly appreciated. Oh and we don't own Naruto and so on and so forth… Thanks everyone!!
OoOoO A Mandatory Halloween Special, Konoha-Style Dattebayo!! OoOoO
"Hey everyone! It's me! Naruto! dattebayo!!"
"If the five people who are reading this are wondering: 'how can these fictional characters be able to break the fourth wall?' the answer is simple: we just can for the sake of a parody…"
"Oi! Sasuke-teme, why aren't you brooding? You have to be in character dattebayo!!
"Since I'm in my current 'ignoring-Naruto' phase that just never seems to end, I will ignore that last comment. Besides 'complete-lifeless-entity-who-I-do-not-know' I don't brood, I just not in a talkative mood… often.
But for the sake of being Halloween (and being constantly nagged from 'that-lifeless-entity-that-I-do-not-know') I will uncharacteristically wish those five people who are reading this…-
"- A happy Halloween dattebayo!!"
"Right… what is Halloweenthough"
"Wow you don't know about Halloween Konoha-style? Then I will elaborate 'ttebayo!
It's simple; it's like Halloween from that alternate universe called "The Real World" (where there are no ninja villages, Hokages and the like) except that it has the words "Konoha-style" (also we don't have any crazy parades either, but that's the only difference ''ttebayo!)
It's really cool 'ttebayo!! You get to wear a costume and bother people!"
"And…?"
"Then you knock on people's door and ask them a really weird phrase"
"Like…?"
"Trick-or-trout?…no that's not right… track-and-try? Wait let me check 'ttebayo…" Naruto then takes out a small book with the title "Halloween: Konoha-Style" Sasuke gets curious and looks over his should and reads a section of the book:
"…You knock on someone's door and say "Trick-or-Treat" then it's their choice; they either give you some candy; that's the "Treat" part, but if they refuse then you are entitled as a fellow Halloween participant to play a prank on said person; that's the "Trick" part…"
"Oi Sasuke you know what this means? That we can prank on people!! If not then free candy! That's awesome 'ttebayo! It's Free!"
"I really couldn't care less about the candy… but to have a legitimate excuse to annoy people… mmm we should try this Halloween of yours." The boys then flip around to another random section of the book (because occurrences are random like this) and read again:
"…It's is imperative that you do Halloween some justice and wear a decent costume. By "costume" it is implied to be something unrealistic, satirical or in any way unreal or unlike your usual nature. Such costumes are the best in terms of "scaring people" another phase of your Halloween experience. So think of the most outrageous outwear you can think of and start scaring some little kids!…"
"Outrageous? We should probably invite Gai to be part of this, if anything that man is the quintessence of outrageousness"
"Yeah dattebayo!! Let's get Gai and Lee into this!!"
"Maybe not Gai…" Sasuke then reads the last part of the statement aloud.
"… Please keep in mind that adults should try to refrain from extremely outrageous costumes because of cases reported (or unreported) of pedophilia that are sometimes on the rise this time of year."
"Ew…"
"Yeah maybe we should just skip inviting both of them altogether" Sasuke said with a hopeful face.
"Funny though, I was gonna suggest you dressing as Orochimaru, looking like that limey poof will surely get your yearly dose of scares"
"Don't remind me…"
"Oi! Lets go to a conveniently placed costume shop!… Maybe we can get the most of Halloween if we hurry dattebayo!!
They go to the next block and they find "The C.C.S" in averagely ornamented neon letters. It doesn't stand for Card Captor Sakura (but they might have the costumes) but it stands for :The Convenient Costume Shop" It is filled with a small array of costumes; most of them that don't even belong to the Konoha-universe, such as pirate suits, robot armor, witch attire and accessories, and alien costumes. But there are also normal costumes such as: Kimonos, fake Hokage hats and attire, and for civilians to enjoy: Ninja wear (without the customary headband and green jacket of course).
The boys find none of their costumes to their liking, so they left the store and pondered on what to wear. On the way they met Hinata and Neji
"Hey guys 'ttebayo!".
"Hn"
"A-ano-o.. Hi… N-Naruto-kun, U-Uchiha-san"
"Hinata why are we here when the Hyuuga compound is on the other side of the road?"
"Oi! Neji! Aren't you supposed to be blind?"
"Yes I still am…" Neji at this point actually glared at Naruto but his eyes looked a little unfocused turning his "undying hatred" towards others to a slight "extreme dislike". Neji was actually proud of himself at that moment… he could glare again. It took him a fair amount of sleepless nights for him to accomplish such incredible feat. (More like Neji started to notice that people's voices seemed to give away their location… then he pretty much eyeballed it from there)
Hinata at this point decided not to answer such a question, not that anyone really noticed since Naruto was telling Neji about the wonders of "Halloween"…
"WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE AWESOME FUN OF HALLOWEEN... BELIEVE IT!!!"
(See…)
"NARUTO!" Sasuke shouted "What did I say about that extremely idiotic phrase?" Naruto suddenly frowned (more like puffed his cheeks to look like an adorable hamster).
"I don't wanna say it…"
Sasuke simply stared then Naruto sighed.
"You said that saying believe it will force you to chidori me until I become the blue cheese that was experimented on… ok then now back to you Ne- Neji? Where did you go?…
OoOoO Somewhere Off In The Distance OoOoO
Neji at this point was cursing to himself and simply refusing to even think about Halloween, not after last year's terrible disaster. So terrible this disaster was that it even deemed itself into flashback mode; just to torture Neji…
OoOoO …Flashback?… OoOoO
"NejiI!!! are you ready yet?!" Lee shouted.
"Sure whatever lets just get this over with" Neji replied with a grimace of boredom for that particular day.
"NEJI! one cannot enjoy this day without a costume!!" Lee yelled with the intensity of one thousand suns.
"Lee, you're dressed the way you do normally, what costume can you possibly be wearing?"
"HAHA! that just shows how good I am a picking costumes! Nobody would ever suspect I would be our teacher GAI!!!" Lee shouted enjoying his moment of fun.
"You have got to be kidding me… this is your costume?!" Then Neji began to think, 'why do I have a feeling he is going to dress like this every day from now on?'
"Well… aside from your bad choice of costumes, what did Gai pick?… Wait, let me guess, he's going out dressed as you?" Neji said sarcastically.
"No Neji, but Gai-sensei in his infinite wisdom did the manliest thing ever!!!"
Neji was already half dreading the end of that statement, because, Neji thought, if anything that his teacher did was considered manly either the authorities already knew about it, or it would bring about something disastrous.
"…he dressed up as his rival! Kakashi-sensei!!!" Lee shouted with happiness and with his "burning youth abilities"
Neji then looked at Lee with a smirk and uttered a fatal, fatal, statement. "Well if he was so manly why didn't you dress up as me, since I'm apparently your rival?" Lee looked at Neji and pouted with the intensity of… of… I dunno… "one thousand pouting infants…" and then responded.
"I tried but nothing in your closet fit me!" Neji twitched, never in his life he felt such a rush of eye-spasms.
"YOU WENT THROUGH MY CLOSET?!!!" Neji stormed into his room and began to get burn the clothes that even remotely looked just worn…
OoOoO End Of Flashback OoOoO
"Ever since that day I refuse to live Halloween ever again!!!" Neji shouted with his customary index finger pointing to the sky, still cursing those mocking gods that only exist in Neji's head.
"An-ano-oo, Neji-nii-san? W-who are you talking to?"
"No one Hinata…" After a few minutes of walking he then paused…then started to twitch. "LEE IS ALONE IN THE HOUSE!!!!" Neji quickly sprinted to the house, dragging Hinata with him, hoping Lee hadn't gone through his clothes this year for no particular reason. Yes, his paranoia increased a thousand-full after he became blind.
OoOoO Somewhere Not So Distant OoOoO
"Oi! Shino! Why don't we go to the market for no apparent reason"
"hn…"
"Wow Shino, you seem talkative today"
"Bark-bark"
"Shut up! Akamaru!"
Now the "dynamic duo" are seen walking to the market for "no apparent reason" and meet another "duo"…
"Oi!! Naruto!! Why in the hell are you dressed that way!" Kiba shouted in an almost fit of laughter. Kiba is (of course) referring to the ridiculous but extremely simple-minded costume that Naruto is wearing: A Hokage costume on top of a "Ramen Guy's" costume. When Kiba asked, Naruto quickly explained that since he likes ramen and being a "possibly-future" Hokage… why not have a costume with both themes? (Sasuke thought that, if anything, the costume gains major brownie points simply for sheer idiotic originality, not that he was willing to admit such statement out loud.) Shino in this whole exchange was being typical Shino… so no explanation is needed for his customary non-verbal attitude.
Kiba then averted his eyes and gazed upon Sasuke… He doesn't recognize him at first so he asks Naruto…
"Oi! "Rakage"? Who's the creepy guy next to you… and why is he staring at me so fiercely?"
""Rakage"?… Kiba what the hell 'ttebayo!?!"
"There's no other way to explain your costume Naruto… except for Rakage (ramen plus hokage)… so that is your new name... "Rakage"!!".
"I will be the better man" (or so Naruto thinks) "and ignore that… besides that's not a creepy guy, it's just Sasuke"
Now Kiba really couldn't take it… muffled chortles became peals of intense mocking laughter…
"What… 'laughs'… the…'more laughs'… hell!… 'pause for more laughter but soon composes himself… somehow' if I didn't know any better it seems you're trying to dress as Shino today… 'make way for more mocking'"
Shino at this point was actually surprised and almost-laughing… which was only noticed by his lightly higher then usual eyebrows, his sunglasses slightly askew, and his almost unnoticeable twitch he was getting at the corner of his mouth… Sasuke on the other hand was glaring daggers at Kiba and cursing at the "demonic blue cheese experiment"…
All in all it was a pretty enlightening day...
OoOoO 5 Minutes Later… OoOoO
As the day is about to end and night about to begin the "Fearsome Four-some" were walking about and Kiba began one of the most reputation-tarnishing conversations Sasuke ever heard…
"So "Rakage" I never asked, why the costume?… that goes for you too "Sharingan-Shino"…"
"Well, I thought, today's an awesome day for Halloween so I decided to celebrate it, and since Sasuke didn't know about it, then he should join too… in fact why don't you join us Kiba, we're going to bother the neighbors with this game called "Trick-or-Treating"… "
"Wait… Halloween????!!!"
"Yeah Kiba, haven't you heard of it?!"
By now Kiba was eyeing the book Sasuke had in his hand then he snatched it and started to flip the pages. At a certain point he stopped all while trying his best not to die laughing and simply showed the fatal page to Naruto while Sasuke was looking over his shoulder curious and panicky; he thought, if Kiba is trying not to laugh and even Shino can't stop chuckling then something… something, is horribly wrong… and so the duo began to read…
"… Remember kids, Halloween is a day that should be enjoyed by all, so give it the best you've got since it only comes once a year; make this next October 31 the best Halloween ever! In the next book we will discuss another holiday that comes soon after Halloween… It's on December 24 and 25: "Christmas"…"
The first time in a while that Sasuke spoke was to ask a much dreaded question… "Kiba… what day is today?…"
"Why "Sharingan-Shino"… It's December 25...!!!"
By now even Shino was laughing… and Sasuke was screaming like no tomorrow… "HOW CAN YOU GET THE DATES MIXED UP NARUTO?!"
"… ooooh…um… what's that?…" Quickly and surely Naruto uses his mad ninja skillz to run away, while Sasuke gives him a one minute start because he knows that when he reaches him there will be no mercy.
"The question is Sasuke, how can you get the dates mixed up? and where did you get those clothes…" Shino's first and only sentence in this chapter was slightly undermined by Kiba's unending guffaws…