AN: Okay, it has recently come to my attention that whenever I use a little asterick, it doesn't show up on So if there were some weird spots (and I know there were) then that's why. I'll try to fix that in this chapter.
Thanks to hyperkid and Kitreilia for your reviews! I'm dead serious, I'll never remember to update if you don't review.
Now for the Par-tay!
The party was jumping. Literally. The house had parted from it's foundations and alarmed neighbors were running for cover. No one dared called the police, however. Not after what happened last time...
They watched through closed shades as the sillhouettes of animals and gods shone through the windows and wondered what kind of pagan ritual they were performing.
"Hey, Sasuke, is it true you have a handprint tattoo on your ass?"
Silence from the party goers.
"A tattoo!" squealed Yukimura. "Sasuke, is that true!" Everyone turned to stare at him, and someone turned the music down.
"Uh...wouldn't you know?" asked Hotaru. "I mean, you and he are...uh...you know..." "His face got rather red.
Sasuke and Yukimura stared at him for a long moment. Finally, the light dawned on Sasuke.
"Oh! Yukimura, they're talking about that time we--"
Yukimura cut him off with a burst of laughter. "Oh, I remember that! It was great!"
Sasuke turned to the puzzled party goers. "See, we stole one of Kyo's XXX tapes, and I repeated all the noises they made while Yukimura bounced up and down on the bed. We did it a couple of times, actually." He sounded rather proud of himself.
For once, Kyo said something besides "..."
"I thought those noises sounded familiar." he muttered.
"You mean that was all a trick!" gasped Yuya.
"You little punk!" said Benitora in an admiring voice. Bontenmaru appeared from the kitchen and dragged him to the closet where Okuni was waiting. Yuya rolled her eyes.
"Muramasa, they've caught Tora again. Will you--?"
Muramasa gave his saintly smile. "I certainly shall! We really couldn't let them do that, could we?" He sailed down the hallway to thwart their evil plans. Yuya shuddered. She still wasn't used to him being able to read thoughts, but made a mental note to have him read Kyo's before the party was over and make sure he wasn't going to slip her something in her Shirley Temple.
"Come on, Sasuke! Is it true?"
The little ninja looked as exasperated as it is possible to when wearing an adorable kangaroo costume. He rolled his eyes. "Yes, it's true."
Gasps and yells ran through the room. "C'mon, show us!" someone yelled. It was quickly echoed.
Sasuke glared at them. "A bunch of seniors" --this at Kyo, Yukimura, and the newly emerged Benitora-- " some juniors" --Hotaru, Yuya, and Akira, who had skipped a grade-- "and a large gathering of adults" --this at people in general-- "want to personnally view a tattoo of a handprint on" --several ill-suppressed snorts of laughter-- " my fourteen-year-old ass?"
There were nods of assent.
Shrugging, he turned around, gripped a nearby table for balance, and dropped his pants.
And there, left cheek, perfectly positioned to be covered exactly by his tighty-whities, was a perfect, maroon-shaded handprint. They stared in awe.
"How did you even get that, Sasuke? You're not old eno--"
--SMACK!--
Sasuke's eyes widened to an incredible degree. He slowly looked over his shoulder at his own rear.
There were now two hand prints. One was a deep maroon, and one was a bright, angry red. His mouth worked, but nothing came out. The assembled samurai (and bounty huntress) stared in horrified fascination. He lifted his head to look at them.
"Ow." he whispered. The handprint was obviously going to bruise. The pain drained from his face to be replaced with anger.
"Who. Did. That." Anyone who wished a slow and painful death was welcome to answer.
--smack!--
Yukimura grinned as he slapped Sasuke again. "Me!"
--next five minutes deleted for swearing, nudity on the part of a minor, excessive violence, and on the general principle that if Yukimura's doing it, we don't want to be seeing it.--
Yukimura set a bound and gagged Sasuke on the floor of their room. He carefully looked across the street to make sure no one from the party was watching them, then turned around.
"Now, Sasuke, you have two choices: one, you can pose for pictures in lederhosen and with kittens," Sasuke looked like he was about to be sick around his gag. "OR you can help me raid the others' rooms."
"Wow! I never knew Yuya had this much money stashed away! How could she make that much just working at a coffee house for a year?" Yukimura was searching under her bed. He pulled out some more cash, and then a large piece of poster board.
"Nice Things about Yuya" he read. He looked puzzled.
"That's that school assignment she had to do, remember?"
"Oh yeah." he continued reading. "Yuya does not steal the blankets. --Kyo. Yuya has a great ass. --Benitora."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Well, as brave as it was for that striped idiot to actually put that down there, I can see why she never turned it in." he blinked. "And how does Kyo know that ne-chan never steals the blankets?"
They looked at each other for a moment and came to a unanimous decision never to ask. Yukimura kept looking at the poster.
"How sad! There's only two things written here! We should write some more, Sasuke! That'll cheer her up!"
Yukimura was officially an idiot. "Yeah, and tell her we were in her room! You do remember where she kicked you when you first met, right!"
Yukimura winced. "On second thought, let's leave it blank."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. He frowned as his stomach growled. Being in Yuya's room reminded him of his coffee-deprived situation. He could make some from the little non decaf left, or he could suck Yukimura into an evil plot to drive to Starbucks and get a triple-shot espresso with extra sugar and cream (sugar with the caffeine for extra kicks).
Kyo stared out the window. He could see two dark figures approaching the car. His car. They weren't.
The taller one jumped in the driver's seat. They were. He raced out the door to administer swift slaughter.
Billy Idol's Mony Mony started playing. "Oh, I love this song!" yelled Kyoshiro.
"Me, too!" answered Benitora. They leapt into the middle of the room and started dancing together. The Mashed Potatoes, The Robot, The Egyptian Walk, nothing was safe...
The party dissolved when Yukimura and Sasuke made it back. Kyo was laying in ambush. Even Oni-me-no-Kyo, however, was no match for Sasuke on espresso. The screams and cackles from outside finally frightened the neighbors enough to call the police, and after stopping four assasination attempts on Kyo and rescuing Benitora from Bontenmaru, everyone ended up at home. Or almost everyone...
John Murray, gas station attendant, looked up from his girly mag to find a weird guy dressed in a toga staring at him fixedly.
"Will you kill me, please? I'm supposed to be dead."