Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
Easily Amused - Does It Taste Like Chicken?
"Hey, Yuki.....let's keep our little reunion on the down-low, okay?" The poor kid knew exactly what I meant and nodded before saying his goodbyes. Elijah was still waiting for my return, which I felt a bit bad for. It's not everyday that s super hunky Brit comes walktzing up to me and hits on me. Course, it wasn't everyday that a hot Japanese man came up to me and asked me to stay in his house, provide medical attention when needed, buy me a small wardrobe, kiss me, and send my heart into a rapid speed just by looking at me either. Stop it Dusty. Shigure is a thing of the past.
You remember the little cricket from 'Pinnocchio'? My mom always told me that he was Pinnocchio's conscience, metaphorically speaking. Course, I was four at the time and had little or no experience with 'metaphors'. As far as I was concerned, a metaphor was the newest installment to the Power Rangers. Anyway, it stuck with me. And now, of all times, my little Jimini Cricket decided to pop his nosey head into my business and remind me that what I considered the past had only been a good three weeks. Mental post- it: Squash my conscience cricket. I scampered back to Elijah, only to have him check his watch and announce that he had to leave. Damn that cricket!!
I entered the room to be almost blasted out by Dean Martin's smooth voice. And there was my father, in a robe three sizes too small for him, dancing in front of the bedroom mirror, shaving. I stood there in shock, trying to remember if the elderly couple next to us were hard of hearing. If not, then they would be by the end of the night.
"Dad!! Put something on!! You'll cause the birds to explode or something!!" Was that possible? I've heard rice does it, so why not? Or was it heartburn tablets? Either way, it was a cheap way of occupying the next best thing to KFC. He smiled at me, and took a drag of a cigarette. Aw hell naw! Dancing like an idiot in MY hotel room was one thing but you don't smoke when you're daughter is allgergic to the damn tar sticks. I rushed over and pulled the nicotine out of his mouth and threw it in the small trashcan by the dresser. I then opened the patio window up to wipe out the smoke. Then I grabbed for the fire extinguisher when a small inferno popped up in the trashcan full of tissues and paper cups. This was going to be one long vacation.
The next morning was little to almost not exciting. We had a grapefruit each, complete with a half cherry on top and some toast. We then ventured out to a small museum that was holding an exhibit of what I like to call freak art. You know, flowers eating puppies or dead men clawing at your door. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could paint or sculpt or even create anything of the sorts. But the whole thought of a decaying man who once loved me pawing on my doorstep led me to conjure up to ideas in my head : That it was slightly hilarious to have a man period at my door begging for my mercy. And then the other part slightly horrified me. Call me crazy, but a walking corpse only happened in movies like 'Night of the Living Dead' where everyone except the hero dies. And I doubt I would be the hero. I'd probably be the one who mooned one of the flesh eaters and ended up having a dead cop eat me for public disturbance. It could happen! I don't remember every hearing in that movie that they didn't abide by the law. Their brains still functioned, they just needed to eat some more. Mmmm. Brains. Breakfast of champions.
At lunch time, we munched at a small cafe that actually held Italian food. Italian in Japan. I was amazed too. The whole time my father talked of a new girlfriend or something, I was paying more attention to a magazine I purchased in the hotel. As he moved on, I read my horoscope silently. 'Gemini : the twins.' Great, there's two of me. My family would love that. 'Geminis are curious, intellectual, quick-witted, talkative, friendly, and have superb communication skills. ' Well, i'd give this personality thingy five points. They were almost on the money. Now the intellectual and friendly parts were a bit overboard. 'Horoscope for today: An ominous cloud will pass over you.' Damn. And to think I was having a sunny day to begin with.
The party was a complete success. Almost. It all started out as a success. My dress, I hate to admit, looked amazing. Ayame definetly knew his dresses. My father introduced me to a petite redhead that spoke very little. Not very little English. She just hardly spoke at all. Well son of a Frank Sinatra. This was just my luck. But I felt bad for her and tried my best to create interesting conversation.
"So the turtle says to the beetle 'I don't know man, but I was exhausted afterwards!'" She gave a small laugh but didn't respond to it. This bewildered me. I mean, that joke always got em talking.
"Dusty!!" I arched my neck around a very cheeky fellow. Don't know what cheeky means? Well ever see a fat man bend over and split his pants? Well what do you see? Bingo! I finally found the voice I was looking for and it just so happened to be the blonde cutie from the day before. Yep, the Brit that could put Prince William to shame, Elijah Johnson. Well, he couldn't put Prince William to shame. No one will ever be cuter than that piece of royal prime rib, but Elijah came so close, it was eerie. He grabbed for my hand and I quickly yanked at Patricia, the small redhead, along with me. Hell, I had no Becky so it might as well be this girl. Besides, she looked like she needed someone like me to introduce her to the world of perversion and hormones. What a wonderful world it is, Patricia. "I want you to meet someone!" Great. My little blonde beauty was going to show me the rich and famous of Japan. Now THERE'S a good show idea!! 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous : Japan Edition'. We finally reached a man with his back to us in a full black ensemble. Hm. He had a cute butt from the angle I was glancing from.
"Dusty, I want you to meet Shigure Sohma." Shigure twirled around and I found myself repeating a string of choice words in my mind. Course, the look of shock pasted on his face was priceless. I motioned towards on of the caterers for another one of those tall champagne glasses and mouthed 'fill it up'. "Shigure is one of the top writers in Japan, a very prestigious title indeed. Oh, I almost completely forgot, Shigure, this is Dusty LaFayette. One of the most charming females and beautiful, might I add, that could grace Japan with her presence." I downed my champagne and waved it in the air. Where was that blasted man with the alcohol?! Shigure extended his hand and kissed the top of mine. Oh for the love of Elmo. Don't do this. I glared down at him, barely smiling.
"Mr. Johnson, you do me wrong. You forget other good company." I moved out of Patricia's way so that she could step forward. The poor girl looked as if she were about to faint.I knew how she felt. I was like that at my first Aerosmith concert. Of course, I was eight and Steven Tyler was old enough to be my father, but he was still dreamy in my 'Cryin' eyes. I quickly excused myself and picked up the long hem of the cobalt gown I bought. I neared the balcony that rested over the party giver's pool. It was a nice pool. The kind that was built for a Playboy Bunny but ended up in sixty year old billionaire's backyard.
"I wondered why Yuki was acting strange when he came home. Now I know." The voice was familiar but I didn't want to be bothered by him right now.
"You know nothing." Wow. I actually sounded like a bitter ex wife. I wonder if my mom sounded like this when my dad told her he had cheated on her. I rested my head on my palm and dangled my feet over the edge of the balcony. I wasn't too far up and either the bushes or the pool would break my fall.
"Um..that's a nice dress." He was trying. I'd give him that much.
"It gives me a wedgie." That was truth enough. It may have been a ball gown meant for a princess but I was merely a Cinderella that wore the wrong undies for the wrong occasion. His footsteps were nearing behind me but I was too bust focusing on the slight tingle on my shoulder. As I turned, I found a bajillion little eyes staring back at me, taunting me with his eight legs and tiny fangs. "Getitoffgetifoffgetitoff!!" I swiped at my bare shoulder and screamed bloody murder as I plunged feet first in to the Playboy pool. Sure, I was going to get soaked, but the decibles reached by my yelp was enough to give the damn spider a sure heart attack. Stupid bugger.
"Dusty!! Hold on!!" There was another splash beside me. What did Shigure think he was? A superhero? I swam up to the surface trying to find his dark form. And there he was, face down inthe water. Oh no. I didn't like the guy at the moment but I didn't want him dead! I swam over to him, well, actually I was swimming in a pool of material. I finally reached him and pushed him over the edge onto his back, following him on my knees.
"Shigure?! Come on! Do you hear me?!" I pounded on his chest. Did I really need to do CPR? Eh, it was worth a try. I leaned down and placed my mouth on his, suddenly feeling a tight grip around my waist, holding me in place.
"My hero!" His eyes fluttered and a wistful smile was glued upon his lips. However, the action caught me off guard and I fell back into the pool, taking him along with me of course. All the moping, the sadness, the stinkiness, disappeared along with the ice cream pounds I had accumulated during that time. I WAS the original 31 flavors. I sputtered up water when I returned to the surface, swiping a huge chunk of hair out of my face. As soon as Shigure was standing as well, I pulled my fist back and swung hard. My target was his cheek but I managed his eye. Good. I'd leave a shiner. "What was that for?!" I wiped my running masacara from my soaked face.
"Everything! For ever talking to me. For ever inviting me to stay. For ever kissing me!! Take your pick!!" He opened his mouth to speak and I flew at him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him but more than anything, I wanted to pound him. We ended up in the shallow end of the pool, with me on top and his black tuxedo shirt in my hands.
"Dusty!" My father's voice released me of my rage. I finally realized just how dumb Shigure and I probably looked. Oh man, this was going down as number one in my embarrassing moments book. Two guards grabbed me by my elbows, tearing me off the writer. I practically collapsed in their arms. I couldn't help it. I know, I say it alot. But...why? He HAD to kiss me, didn't he? He wanted to see me hurt in every possible way and then some. So I cried. I cried for the first time in three weeks.
"I'm done. I'm done with it all." Patricia met me at the brim of her father's pool. I wouldn't find out until later that her sixty year old father was billionaire pool owner. She wrapped a towel around my shoulders and ushered me into the pool house to dry off. I was surprised. She hadn't moved much if not at all since I met her and now she was like a Becky to me.
"I'm not going to ask what you and Mr. Sohma went through together, i'm just going to congradulate you." I peered up at her, considering I was sitting down and she was covering me with cotton towels. She was nice.
"What?"
"It's not every day that I meet someone who takes so much out of their time to introduce me to her friends. Mr. Johnson seems very smitten with you, as does Mr. Sohma. I can only hope that someday someone will like me like that." Oh Patricia. You're blind honey. Blind and utterly innocent. I picked up my hand from the peach towel and cringed.
"I broke a nail. There goes my good looks." She smiled and therefore I smiled. I nudged her arm a bit and motioned for the back door. "Come on. Let's go grab a burger. I KNOW there's gotta be a burger place in Japan, somewhere." My stomach gurgled in agreement. I patted it, comforting my little demon child. Yes, I hated the rubber snails and the Ritz crackers covered in fish babies. How horrible. Somewhere in some little pond is a grieving fish, weeping for fifty bajillion babies that were lost to a snooty Frenchman who thought he could make a living my selling them as food. At least wait until they're grown, man!! But I hadn't tried the caviar. I heard it tasted like jelly. Impossible. Everyone knows that foreign food always....ALWAYS taste like chicken. In the end, everything does. It's like the law.
Easily Amused - Does It Taste Like Chicken?
"Hey, Yuki.....let's keep our little reunion on the down-low, okay?" The poor kid knew exactly what I meant and nodded before saying his goodbyes. Elijah was still waiting for my return, which I felt a bit bad for. It's not everyday that s super hunky Brit comes walktzing up to me and hits on me. Course, it wasn't everyday that a hot Japanese man came up to me and asked me to stay in his house, provide medical attention when needed, buy me a small wardrobe, kiss me, and send my heart into a rapid speed just by looking at me either. Stop it Dusty. Shigure is a thing of the past.
You remember the little cricket from 'Pinnocchio'? My mom always told me that he was Pinnocchio's conscience, metaphorically speaking. Course, I was four at the time and had little or no experience with 'metaphors'. As far as I was concerned, a metaphor was the newest installment to the Power Rangers. Anyway, it stuck with me. And now, of all times, my little Jimini Cricket decided to pop his nosey head into my business and remind me that what I considered the past had only been a good three weeks. Mental post- it: Squash my conscience cricket. I scampered back to Elijah, only to have him check his watch and announce that he had to leave. Damn that cricket!!
I entered the room to be almost blasted out by Dean Martin's smooth voice. And there was my father, in a robe three sizes too small for him, dancing in front of the bedroom mirror, shaving. I stood there in shock, trying to remember if the elderly couple next to us were hard of hearing. If not, then they would be by the end of the night.
"Dad!! Put something on!! You'll cause the birds to explode or something!!" Was that possible? I've heard rice does it, so why not? Or was it heartburn tablets? Either way, it was a cheap way of occupying the next best thing to KFC. He smiled at me, and took a drag of a cigarette. Aw hell naw! Dancing like an idiot in MY hotel room was one thing but you don't smoke when you're daughter is allgergic to the damn tar sticks. I rushed over and pulled the nicotine out of his mouth and threw it in the small trashcan by the dresser. I then opened the patio window up to wipe out the smoke. Then I grabbed for the fire extinguisher when a small inferno popped up in the trashcan full of tissues and paper cups. This was going to be one long vacation.
The next morning was little to almost not exciting. We had a grapefruit each, complete with a half cherry on top and some toast. We then ventured out to a small museum that was holding an exhibit of what I like to call freak art. You know, flowers eating puppies or dead men clawing at your door. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could paint or sculpt or even create anything of the sorts. But the whole thought of a decaying man who once loved me pawing on my doorstep led me to conjure up to ideas in my head : That it was slightly hilarious to have a man period at my door begging for my mercy. And then the other part slightly horrified me. Call me crazy, but a walking corpse only happened in movies like 'Night of the Living Dead' where everyone except the hero dies. And I doubt I would be the hero. I'd probably be the one who mooned one of the flesh eaters and ended up having a dead cop eat me for public disturbance. It could happen! I don't remember every hearing in that movie that they didn't abide by the law. Their brains still functioned, they just needed to eat some more. Mmmm. Brains. Breakfast of champions.
At lunch time, we munched at a small cafe that actually held Italian food. Italian in Japan. I was amazed too. The whole time my father talked of a new girlfriend or something, I was paying more attention to a magazine I purchased in the hotel. As he moved on, I read my horoscope silently. 'Gemini : the twins.' Great, there's two of me. My family would love that. 'Geminis are curious, intellectual, quick-witted, talkative, friendly, and have superb communication skills. ' Well, i'd give this personality thingy five points. They were almost on the money. Now the intellectual and friendly parts were a bit overboard. 'Horoscope for today: An ominous cloud will pass over you.' Damn. And to think I was having a sunny day to begin with.
The party was a complete success. Almost. It all started out as a success. My dress, I hate to admit, looked amazing. Ayame definetly knew his dresses. My father introduced me to a petite redhead that spoke very little. Not very little English. She just hardly spoke at all. Well son of a Frank Sinatra. This was just my luck. But I felt bad for her and tried my best to create interesting conversation.
"So the turtle says to the beetle 'I don't know man, but I was exhausted afterwards!'" She gave a small laugh but didn't respond to it. This bewildered me. I mean, that joke always got em talking.
"Dusty!!" I arched my neck around a very cheeky fellow. Don't know what cheeky means? Well ever see a fat man bend over and split his pants? Well what do you see? Bingo! I finally found the voice I was looking for and it just so happened to be the blonde cutie from the day before. Yep, the Brit that could put Prince William to shame, Elijah Johnson. Well, he couldn't put Prince William to shame. No one will ever be cuter than that piece of royal prime rib, but Elijah came so close, it was eerie. He grabbed for my hand and I quickly yanked at Patricia, the small redhead, along with me. Hell, I had no Becky so it might as well be this girl. Besides, she looked like she needed someone like me to introduce her to the world of perversion and hormones. What a wonderful world it is, Patricia. "I want you to meet someone!" Great. My little blonde beauty was going to show me the rich and famous of Japan. Now THERE'S a good show idea!! 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous : Japan Edition'. We finally reached a man with his back to us in a full black ensemble. Hm. He had a cute butt from the angle I was glancing from.
"Dusty, I want you to meet Shigure Sohma." Shigure twirled around and I found myself repeating a string of choice words in my mind. Course, the look of shock pasted on his face was priceless. I motioned towards on of the caterers for another one of those tall champagne glasses and mouthed 'fill it up'. "Shigure is one of the top writers in Japan, a very prestigious title indeed. Oh, I almost completely forgot, Shigure, this is Dusty LaFayette. One of the most charming females and beautiful, might I add, that could grace Japan with her presence." I downed my champagne and waved it in the air. Where was that blasted man with the alcohol?! Shigure extended his hand and kissed the top of mine. Oh for the love of Elmo. Don't do this. I glared down at him, barely smiling.
"Mr. Johnson, you do me wrong. You forget other good company." I moved out of Patricia's way so that she could step forward. The poor girl looked as if she were about to faint.I knew how she felt. I was like that at my first Aerosmith concert. Of course, I was eight and Steven Tyler was old enough to be my father, but he was still dreamy in my 'Cryin' eyes. I quickly excused myself and picked up the long hem of the cobalt gown I bought. I neared the balcony that rested over the party giver's pool. It was a nice pool. The kind that was built for a Playboy Bunny but ended up in sixty year old billionaire's backyard.
"I wondered why Yuki was acting strange when he came home. Now I know." The voice was familiar but I didn't want to be bothered by him right now.
"You know nothing." Wow. I actually sounded like a bitter ex wife. I wonder if my mom sounded like this when my dad told her he had cheated on her. I rested my head on my palm and dangled my feet over the edge of the balcony. I wasn't too far up and either the bushes or the pool would break my fall.
"Um..that's a nice dress." He was trying. I'd give him that much.
"It gives me a wedgie." That was truth enough. It may have been a ball gown meant for a princess but I was merely a Cinderella that wore the wrong undies for the wrong occasion. His footsteps were nearing behind me but I was too bust focusing on the slight tingle on my shoulder. As I turned, I found a bajillion little eyes staring back at me, taunting me with his eight legs and tiny fangs. "Getitoffgetifoffgetitoff!!" I swiped at my bare shoulder and screamed bloody murder as I plunged feet first in to the Playboy pool. Sure, I was going to get soaked, but the decibles reached by my yelp was enough to give the damn spider a sure heart attack. Stupid bugger.
"Dusty!! Hold on!!" There was another splash beside me. What did Shigure think he was? A superhero? I swam up to the surface trying to find his dark form. And there he was, face down inthe water. Oh no. I didn't like the guy at the moment but I didn't want him dead! I swam over to him, well, actually I was swimming in a pool of material. I finally reached him and pushed him over the edge onto his back, following him on my knees.
"Shigure?! Come on! Do you hear me?!" I pounded on his chest. Did I really need to do CPR? Eh, it was worth a try. I leaned down and placed my mouth on his, suddenly feeling a tight grip around my waist, holding me in place.
"My hero!" His eyes fluttered and a wistful smile was glued upon his lips. However, the action caught me off guard and I fell back into the pool, taking him along with me of course. All the moping, the sadness, the stinkiness, disappeared along with the ice cream pounds I had accumulated during that time. I WAS the original 31 flavors. I sputtered up water when I returned to the surface, swiping a huge chunk of hair out of my face. As soon as Shigure was standing as well, I pulled my fist back and swung hard. My target was his cheek but I managed his eye. Good. I'd leave a shiner. "What was that for?!" I wiped my running masacara from my soaked face.
"Everything! For ever talking to me. For ever inviting me to stay. For ever kissing me!! Take your pick!!" He opened his mouth to speak and I flew at him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him but more than anything, I wanted to pound him. We ended up in the shallow end of the pool, with me on top and his black tuxedo shirt in my hands.
"Dusty!" My father's voice released me of my rage. I finally realized just how dumb Shigure and I probably looked. Oh man, this was going down as number one in my embarrassing moments book. Two guards grabbed me by my elbows, tearing me off the writer. I practically collapsed in their arms. I couldn't help it. I know, I say it alot. But...why? He HAD to kiss me, didn't he? He wanted to see me hurt in every possible way and then some. So I cried. I cried for the first time in three weeks.
"I'm done. I'm done with it all." Patricia met me at the brim of her father's pool. I wouldn't find out until later that her sixty year old father was billionaire pool owner. She wrapped a towel around my shoulders and ushered me into the pool house to dry off. I was surprised. She hadn't moved much if not at all since I met her and now she was like a Becky to me.
"I'm not going to ask what you and Mr. Sohma went through together, i'm just going to congradulate you." I peered up at her, considering I was sitting down and she was covering me with cotton towels. She was nice.
"What?"
"It's not every day that I meet someone who takes so much out of their time to introduce me to her friends. Mr. Johnson seems very smitten with you, as does Mr. Sohma. I can only hope that someday someone will like me like that." Oh Patricia. You're blind honey. Blind and utterly innocent. I picked up my hand from the peach towel and cringed.
"I broke a nail. There goes my good looks." She smiled and therefore I smiled. I nudged her arm a bit and motioned for the back door. "Come on. Let's go grab a burger. I KNOW there's gotta be a burger place in Japan, somewhere." My stomach gurgled in agreement. I patted it, comforting my little demon child. Yes, I hated the rubber snails and the Ritz crackers covered in fish babies. How horrible. Somewhere in some little pond is a grieving fish, weeping for fifty bajillion babies that were lost to a snooty Frenchman who thought he could make a living my selling them as food. At least wait until they're grown, man!! But I hadn't tried the caviar. I heard it tasted like jelly. Impossible. Everyone knows that foreign food always....ALWAYS taste like chicken. In the end, everything does. It's like the law.