Vala's Room

Vala fell asleep trying to block out thoughts of her attack. She was trying to suppress the pain it was causing, the doubt of her friendship with Daniel and Col Mitchell. Her nightmares were becoming evident that she was still affected by the attack.

Vala was struggling to get up. Everything seemed black and dirty. She was looking around to see where she was. Something was telling her to get up. Her thoughts were fuzzy, she needed to move. She couldn't think straight, she couldn't speak, and she felt faint. Her consciousness thought was moving her to get up.

I must get up, I need to see someone. Something's happened. What, what was I doing. I need to find someone. I think, car, need to move. Sam must see Sam. They laughed at me, they laughed. Daniel, Daniel. Mitchell was laughing. I'm not, what did they say?

Vala's mind became clear for a few minutes. She stumbled towards her car. She started the car and it startled her. She was frightened to move, she couldn't remember to shift the car suddenly. She still couldn't speak, nothing was coming out. Everything seemed to be playing in her mind.

I need to get to Sam's, Sam will help. Sam will help. Daniel, Daniel can't let…………. Drive, drive go this way, need to see Sam. What happened, something hit me. I'm shaking. Why am I shaking?

Vala drove out of the parking lot. She was drawn to a certain road. Her survival instincts kicked in. She was headed towards Sam's house unknowingly. Her eyes were trying to locate an address. There her mind was telling her, there turn there, the driveway, this is safe; the pain will go away if you turn in here. She stopped she needed to get out of the car. Move, move go towards the door. The door is opening; go inside, safe, safe.

Daniel, No Daniel, No they laughed at me. Leave me alone, get away from me. This is safe, No Daniel. No Mitchell, No they laughed, they said things, they………. Teal'c, Teal'c is here. He's safe, he will help me, help me Teal'c, Sam.

Vala was tossing and turning in her bed. She was feeling frightened again. Someone was pounding on the door. Vala would not come to the door. Unknown to her she was screaming. One of the personnel heard her scream and knocked on the door. Sam and Teal'c saw some people running down the hall from her office. It looked like the guards and a medical team. Both of them ran out of the office. They saw one of the guards use his code card to enter. Sam shouted at him to stop.

"Wait, don't go in there." "I'll see to her, everyone leave. That's an order."

The guards and the medical personnel saw Teal'c's face when Sam commanded them to leave. They left immediately. Teal'c was right behind Sam when she went in Vala's room.

"Teal'c hold her down, she's asleep, she might hurt herself or anyone coming near her."

Teal'c gently held Vala. She was still in the throws of her nightmare, she was still screaming for some reason.

"Let me try to talk her down Teal'c. She's frightened for some reason."

Sam began talking to Vala softly to try and calm her down. Vala looked like she was trying to get away from something.

"Vala, Vala, shh, shh, I'm here, Teal'c's here. Calm down, your safe, you're with us. Vala!

Vala snapped out of her nightmare and was looking around frantically. She was trying to move and something was holding her.

"Sa—Sam?"

"Yes hon, it's me, and Teal'c. You were dreaming that's all, everything is alright."

Teal'c let go of Vala and slightly bowed to assure her he was here with her.

"What, what happened? I was sleeping."

Sam answered. "You were screaming, someone heard you and then we entered to see you tossing and turning and screaming. Vala I need to talk to you for a minute. Teal'c can you give us a minute?"

"Yes, Col Carter, If there is anything that you need I will be working on a certain program."

After Sam left she sat silently with Vala for a moment. Vala was composing herself to listen to Sam.

"Vala, you and I know that the attack on you won't just go away. You were raped and you just don't get over that in a day. You are my friend and I hope you listen to what I have to say."

Vala just shook her head and leaned back to listen to Sam. She knew Sam was her friend and she wouldn't say anything unless she had some concerns.

"I think that something is bothering you and I think it has to do with Daniel and Col Mitchell. Vala; I saw you when you first came to my house. You were terrified of Daniel and Cam. Something that you refuse to talk about. Listen; I would never betray you and what you say will not be repeated, you know this. But I can't help you if you can't tell me what's wrong."

Vala looked at Sam for a few minutes and then at the ceiling looking for answers. Vala stayed silent for a long time. Sam decided she would be patient.

"Sam, I'm remembering, I remember the attack. They hit me Sam, they dragged me somewhere and, and I tried to fight them, I tried to fight them."

Tears were rolling down Vala's face. She was having a hard time looking at Sam.

Vala continued. They tour at my clothes with something sharp, I couldn't see clearly; they were not going to take me without a fight, I'd rather die than give into them." Vala paused again.

"Then one of them said something that, that stopped me from struggling so hard. They, they said……………..

"I'm her Vala, take your time. There's no rush, just take your time." Sam moved closer to her friend and put a hand on her shoulder.

"They said that Jackson said I was a tease, that I deserve what's coming to me, that Jackson would get rid of me. They said that Mitchell and Daniel laughed at me, that Mitchell said that I couldn't be that good."

"Oh God Vala, is that why you are avoiding them, you think they caused you to be attacked?

Vala said with a whisper. "Yes."

Sam pulled Vala into a hug, Vala collapsed crying. Sam just held her friend.

After an hour, Sam finally spoke.

"Vala, I swear, if you let me; I'll get to the bottom of this. I've know Daniel for a long time and if he said something to hurt you, I'll personally see to it he's transferred to Atlantis and If Col Mitchell did the same, then I'll address the matter to Gen Landry. If someone overheard their conversation and took it upon themselves to pass judgement and harm you, then I'll do everything in my power to stop this kind of behavior."

"No Sam, No."

"What." Sam said in shock.

"No, I can't have you punishing Daniel or Col Mitchell for something they didn't do."

Sam was confused. "Vala, they said something that caused you to be attacked. Raped, Vala, that's not acceptable, not to me."

"No Sam, Daniel and Col Mitchell didn't attack me; I just realized that they have done everything to get everyone else to accept me at SG1. Daniel believed in me and Col Mitchell accepted that. I know that because they are also friends, and it hurt me to the core. I didn't want to believe what I heard and accepted those bastards reason for attacking me. I convinced myself, it was me that was at fault. I did something that caused Daniel and Mitchell to doubt me. I – I made myself afraid of them. I allowed my fear to dominate my reasoning. I have everything that I've truly ever wanted. I have a home, friends, work I'm proud of and those who care about me Sam, you are my friend Sam and if I let you do this, our friendship would change forever."

"But Vala, the men that attacked you, they can't go unpunished. This could of happened to anyone on base and that's why we must find them. They could attack you again or someone else, me, Carolyn; any female on base."

"I know that now, I know. Let me help, let me help find these son of a bi---." Vala stopped herself and took a breath.

"Sam, please I need to stop being angry and afraid. I need to know I'm not a bad person and stop trying to handle things on my own. It's hard when you've been traveling around the galaxy on your own for awhile. I was surviving from here to the next planet and this is the first real home I've had in a long time. I let those men take something from me." Vala paused again. "I let them take my soul Sam, I let them take me."

Sam and Vala just sat and talked. Sam had realized that Vala was indeed strong, that she had chose to finally overcome this humiliation and find the truth behind this attack. Deep down Sam had to find out the missing pieces to what Daniel and Cam has said about Vala. But for right now she would just sit and be Vala's friend.

Authors Note: This was a tough one to write. I hope I conveyed the hope of friendship no matter what. I have a couple more chapters to reveal. Look for them soon.