Chapter 10: Busy Signal

Disclaimer: All the following characters are property of S. Meyer

My heart weighed a ton as I tramped down the walkway to my truck. Several times I stopped—tempted to turn back—but I knew that inevitably I would have to say goodbye to Jacob sometime tonight. I didn't think my heart could bear another goodnight in one twenty-four hour period.

I trudged onward, listening to the gravel's light crunch as each leaden foot crushed the stones into the earth. A cold wind was swirling around me, and great drops of rain started to fall from the sky, echoing my sentiments.

I stumbled into the truck, almost missing the step up, as my vision began to blur. My eyes were getting moist, and no, it wasn't from the rain. Stupid overactive tear ducts!

I'm not going to cry, I told myself ... I'm not going to cry. This is entirely ludicrous. Even Jacob would be telling me not to be acting so stupid. He'd still be here tomorrow. That's right ... think ahead. Think about seeing him tomorrow—if I lived that long. Ugh! I hated goodbyes, even the temporary kind. Temporary, that's it ... it's only temporary. But sometimes even temporary could seem too long.

I fought against my insistent tear ducts all the way to Forks, only to restart the battle as I entered the front door to my home. I'm not going to cry; I have too much to do.

My clothing was sopping wet from the short sprint from the truck. I ripped off my dripping jeans, shirt and socks, and chucked them into the washing machine. After cleaning up the puddle left behind, I raced up the stairs and put on a pair of my favorite sweats.

The kitchen somehow seemed empty. I never minded being alone before, but now I was missing my Sunny. I kept staring longingly at the telephone hanging on the wall. I could imagine it beckoning to me ... call Jake ... call Jake. I should start supper first, but what the heck ...

I grabbed the phone and dialed my cell number. It was busy! What the ...?

I started getting supper ready; mashed potatoes, a ham slice and green beans—an easy meal.

While everything was cooking, I tried the number again ... busy?

I hung up the phone hastily and dialed again. Maybe I had accidentally hit a stray number in my hurry to call him ... busy! Now I was getting annoyed. Who would he be calling—and on my phone?

I started throwing the dishes and utensils onto the table. Some nerve—here I was fretting about the boy, missing him terribly and he was using up my minutes to call someone else.

I gave it one more try ... busy! That was the last straw.

I started mashing up the potatoes probably more forcefully than I needed to. "Men ..." I muttered.

Just then the phone rang. I picked it up angrily and fairly shouted, "Well, it's about time. What do you mean by using up my minutes? Who have you been talking to? Quil, Embry? Another girl, perhaps?"

The voice on the other end was not Jacob's. Uh-oh.

"First of all, Bells, who are you yelling at? Second of all, we are going to have a serious discussion when I get home about why you can't seem to keep your temper under control. And third, I have I text message from Jacob. It reads, 'Can you please give a message to Bella for me? Bella, honey, are you OK? I've been trying to reach you for over an hour. Can you please hang up so I can talk to you? I'm really worried'."

"Now, don't touch the phone again until you hear it ring. Okay, kid?"

"Right, Dad. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"You're not off the hook yet, young lady. We'll talk some more when I get home."

My anger was totally dissipated, and replaced with ... shame. Holy crow, I guess we were both dialing at the same time. Here I was thinking the worst about my sweetheart, and he was giving me the benefit of the doubt. I definitely did not deserve him.

I finished whipping up the potatoes, and making the gravy. Then I set out the bread. I was on pins and needles, waiting for the call. When the phone finally did ring, I snatched it up so fast that I had to juggle the receiver to keep it from crashing to the floor.

"Jake," I breathed in relief.

"Jeez, Bells, I was going out of my mind with worry. I thought something had happened to you. Please don't do that to me again. I was just about ready to jump out of this bed and go searching for you."

"I'm really sorry, Jake. It started pouring outside, and I had to slow the truck down to a snail's pace. Then when I got home, I had to change clothes because they were soaking wet. And then, I decided to start supper. I didn't want you to be hanging on the phone while I was starting up the food. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, I was concerned—that's all. Knowing your reputation for accidents, I was in a panic. I was imagining a million and one dangerous situations, with you smack dab in the middle."

"I'm sorry I made you worry. That was not my intention. Please say you'll forgive me."

"Yeah, I forgive you. I always do. I'm such a hopeless sucker for you, Bells. It's pathetic. I'm like the stay-puffed marshmallow man when it comes to you."

"So, are we good then?"

"We're always good."

"Well then, good," I reiterated. "Speaking of good, how did the bath go tonight? Did the guys get it done?"

"Yeah, but it just wasn't the same," he sighed. "Quil and Embry are my boys, but they definitely need some educating on the finer points of Bed Bathing 101."

"Hey, more good news. The Doc took out my IV right after you left. The arm splint is gone too. Now I have the use of both arms. I can't wait to hold you tight. And this time, I know you'll be willing to let me."

"I never did mind it when you hugged me, Jake. I just couldn't breathe."

"Oh, right," he laughed.

"You know, your hugs were the one thing that comforted me when I wasn't ... well ... quite myself. You were my safe harbor. You made me feel whole again. I was in pieces, and you were the glue held me together. It was your arms that kept me from falling apart."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you, Jake."

"I'm glad you're Okay. Damn, I guess I better go so you can take care of Charlie. I'm jealous. He gets you all to himself for the whole night."

"You better go; you need some rest."

"I'll be dreaming about you, Bells."

"Bye, Jake, Love you."

"Wait, wait, wait ... don't hang up yet. I love hearing you say that. Tell me once more— please? For me?"

"I love you, Jake. You've got to have figured that out by now."

"I know, I know. But it bears repeating all the same. I'll never get tired of hearing you say it, never! I fought too long and hard hoping to finally have it come from your own sweet lips. I've never, ever loved anyone else but you, Bella. It's always been you. I have always loved you, and I always will."

"Jake," I murmured, "what can I say?"

"You already said it, and that's all that matters. Bye, honey."

"Bye, Jake, love you."

"Love you more."

After replacing the receiver, I had to sit down. He essentially left me breathless. The boy was totally smitten, with me of all people. I was starting to feel giddy and lightheaded. My heart was so full I thought it would explode in my chest. I wondered if this feeling was mutual, because for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to stay away from him all these years either. He was my bright star, bathing me in sunlight. I had once loved Edward—or so I thought, but Jacob was ever-present in the corridors of my mind, pricking at my conscience. Jacob ... Jacob ... Jacob.

My thoughts turned to dread as I heard the ominous roar of the cruiser pulling up outside. I cringed internally. Charlie was home.

I waited until he took off his gun belt. He'd never shoot me on purpose; but it still could go off accidentally. I could see the headlines now: Chief of police guns down daughter after altercation over a busy signal. This town would eat it up.

Charlie walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He gave me that you're in heaps of trouble glare.

I set out the food and sat in the chair opposite him. I couldn't look him in the eye. The mashed potatoes suddenly seemed very interesting. I was swirling intricate patterns in them with my fork.

Charlie took one mouthful, swallowed, and said, "You can stop playing with those spuds, Bells. We're going to have this conversation right now." He exhaled deeply and continued. "I'm really disappointed in you."

Darn, I hated it when he said that. It stung. I felt my face turn scarlet.

"Jake's hurting at this very minute and your getting upset over a little thing like his phone was busy? That's very petty of you. I thought you were bigger than that."

"You know, that boy helped you through a trying time, and now it's your turn to help him. Getting angry over a paltry annoyance like a busy signal is not my idea of helping. You've got to at least try to control your temper."

"I will, Dad. I promise. And I'm so sorry I shouted at you."

"Don't apologize to me. I want you to make things right with Jacob. He doesn't deserve it."

"He's already forgiven me, Dad. I did apologize. You aren't going to shoot me are you?" I said with mock contrition.

He smiled mischievously, "I might just wing you—nothing serious."

"As long as it's my left arm. I have a test coming up tomorrow."

"Well, maybe I'll put you under house arrest instead. That way you can still do the cooking and the laundry."

"Do I get out early for good behavior?"

"Only if you swear to it."

He stood up and strode into the living room. "Bells," he yelled, "where's my Bible?"

"It's on the top shelf of the book case."

"I can't find it ... wait ... never mind."

He came back into the kitchen carrying a heavy book.

"I want you to place your right hand on this book and swear to me and to God in heaven that you'll honestly try to curb your anger."

"Dad, this is silly ... I'm not swearing on a Webster's Unabridged Dictionary."

"I couldn't find the Bible," he mumbled. "But just do it, unless you'd rather stare at the four walls for the next two weeks."

"Okay, okay, but I don't think this would hold up in a court of law. I promise to do my best and not get angry over the small stuff. There, are you happy now?"

"Yes—now go put this book back on the shelf while I finish my supper."

I walked into the living room, and replaced the dictionary back into the gaping space it left right next to Charlie's Bible.