Renji nodded and raised his hand as a gesture to acknowledge all greetings that he received from his subordinates without bothering to stop walking down the corridor that led to the Sixth Division's administrative office. Knowing that his captain would already be in the office by that time, Renji knocked rather loudly before he opened the door only to blink at the scene before him.
"Um…taichō, what is that?"
Renji asked, motioning to a middle-sized aquarium that occupied a corner of the office just to the right of Byakuya's own desk. In the tank resided five small goldfishes that looked somewhat underfed.
The captain glanced towards the fish tank for a second before he turned his cold gaze back towards his lieutenant and answered in a nonchalant manner, "An aquarium."
"Yeah, I can see that, but what is it doing in here?" Renji asked, feeling somewhat nervous even though he should have already been used to that steely gaze by then.
"A decoration," Byakuya replied curtly.
"Decoration?" the red-haired shinigami repeated, blinking. "Why?"
"Did not you always complain that this office was dull and needed something to make it more colorful?"
"Yeah, I said that, but goldfishes?" Renji scratched his head. "And rather ugl—"
A sharp glance from the captain somehow made the lieutenant swallow the rest of his sentence down his throat.
"You were saying?"
"Nothing, taichō," Renji quickly responded, waving both of his hands. "I was just saying that they are kinda cute."
"Do you think so?" Byakuya asked impassively before he turned his eyes back to the report in his hand. "I found them rather unsightly."
The loudmouth lieutenant couldn't help staring at the noble captain with disbelief.
"Then why did you bring them here in the first place?"
"Because I felt like it," the captain replied, turning the pages of the document he was reviewing.
Upon hearing that answer, Renji could only scratch his head. If it were someone else who answered him that way, he would have thought the person was trying to get on his nerve; but since it was his very own captain, Renji believed it was merely Byakuya's way of telling him to mind his own business.
While he knew that it would be a clever idea to shut up and drop the subject at that moment, Renji still couldn't help asking, "But if they're here right now, wouldn't that mean that you bought them sometime last night?"
"Possibly," Byakuya said without bothering to lift his eyes from the document he was reviewing.
Renji rubbed his chin as he wondered when Byakuya managed to find the time to do that, since as far as he was concerned, the captain had stayed home to have dinner with his grandmother so he couldn't have gone out that night.
"Hmm…but I thought you didn't go to the festival."
"Just because I did not join you and Rukia does not mean that I couldn't have gone out by myself later," Byakuya remarked calmly before he put the report on top of the table. "Now if you have so much time to ask me these meaningless questions, I suggest you spend it doing all of the reports that were left on your desk instead."
With that, the captain rose gracefully from his seat.
"By the way, I'm going to the meeting now. I expect you to finish all of your reports by the time I return."
Without waiting for the lieutenant's answer, Captain Kuchiki left the office.
As he left his division earlier than he first planned, Byakuya found himself walking leisurely along the wooden porch that led to the First Division. It was never a good idea to arrive early since it usually meant a long wait, yet the captain of the Sixth Division somehow believed that it would be less annoying to wait for all other captains to show than to play twenty questions with his lieutenant that morning.
Talking about annoyance, the twenty-eighth head of the Clan Kuchiki allowed himself a small frown that was barely visible for an untrained eye, as he sensed that he was no longer alone in that proximity. However, instead of stopping or slowing his paces, he kept on walking as though he didn't notice any change in the atmosphere.
In less than a second later, Byakuya had to grab onto his scarf before it could be snatched right from his neck by the light fingers of the cat lady who somehow still found entertainment in stealing his accessories, or in this case, trying to.
"Why is it that you can never simply say hello like normal people, Yoruichi?" Lord Kuchiki asked in a perfect monotone that betrayed none of his emotions, yet the way he arranged his sentence still reflected a certain degree of exasperation.
"Because that wouldn't be original," she replied, letting go of the end of the silk fabric.
Byakuya sighed inwardly as he readjusted his scarf. At least, he should be glad that she did not include attacking him with her bosoms in her "original" way of greeting (though he suspected it was more because he had become too tall for her to use that trick than because she suddenly came to have a sense of propriety.)
"In that case, I would prefer that you only stick to the orthodox way from now on."
"Sorry, but that's not for you to decide," she replied with a wicked grin. "By the way, what are you doing here so early? The meeting won't start until nine hundred hours."
"It never hurts to arrive early."
"Yes, but for one hour?"
"There was nothing better to do in the office," Byakuya replied. "What is your excuse?"
Yoruichi sighed.
"You know about my meeting with the kimono makers, right?" Seeing a nod from the nobleman, the lady continued, "Well, Takahiro-ojii-san somehow saw it fit to arrange a meeting with a wedding planner right afterward, so I used today's meeting as an excuse to leave early."
"A wedding planner?"
"Yep," the lady confirmed. "Have I told you that my family council has decided that a wedding will be held on the day after someone defeats me in a race?"
If he was surprised by the news, he didn't show it when he asked, "Are they that much afraid that you would run off again?"
"Maybe," she replied with a shrug. "By the way, Byakuya, what color looks best on me?"
Lord Kuchiki frowned at the unexpected question. "Pardon?"
"What color looks best on me?" Yoruichi repeated the question. "The kimono makers asked me earlier what color and pattern I wanted for my uchikake*. I don't have any preference, so I just told them to pick whatever color and pattern they liked, since I'd look great in anything I wore, but somehow, instead of being grateful that I'm not picky, they looked at me like they were about to cry when I told them that."
Lord Kuchiki couldn't refrain from shaking his head.
"You do realize, of course, that not everyone knows you well enough to be able to tell when you are merely teasing and when you are being serious."
"Hmm? But I was serious, Byakuya," the lady claimed. "I think they were just too afraid to make their own decision, though they are professionals and should be able to decide what's best for me. Anyway, they kept insisting that at least I have to choose the color myself, so now I'm casting my vote."
Byakuya took a quick look at Yoruichi from head to toe.
"Red is most popular; however, since you are not a type to follow a trend, may I suggest blue?" he replied. "It would match perfectly with Kurotsuchi's hair color."
"Then blue is definitely a no-no." Yoruichi then narrowed her eyes and glared at Byakuya. "But you're not answering my question. I asked you what color looked best on me not what color I should wear."
"Don't they serve the same purpose?"
The lady rolled her eyes. "Why am I asking for your opinion anyway? It's not like you have a fashion sense. Talk about fashion sense, maybe I should just call the human world and ask for Ishida's opinion. Yep, that'll do."
Yoruichi nodded to herself as if to make a mental note on that.
"Anyway, what I should really be asking you is whether you're available this afternoon," said the shape-shifter, turning her business mode back on. Seeing that the noble lord didn't reply right away, the lady added, "Don't tell me you forgot what we discussed last night."
"I never forget anything that involves you, Yoruichi," the Sixth Division Captain replied smoothly. Then before the head of the Shihōin family had time to reflect on the meaning of his remark, Lord Kuchiki added, "I suppose I can show you the land after the meeting. After all, Renji could use some extra hours."
Yoruichi raised an eyebrow.
"I told him to finish all paperwork by the time I returned to the office."
"Sometimes I feel really sorry for that kid," the lady said, shaking her head. "Oh, and by the way, is it alright for me to ask someone to come with me to the land?"
"You can bring the whole Onmitsukidō with you if you wish," Lord Kuchiki replied in a nonchalant tone.
"Well, I'd love to, but I think that'd be too much trouble. I'm just going to ask Soifon. She's been a commander-in-chief of the Onmitsukidō for longer than I had, so she should be able to help me with the deal, though I don't know if she's free this afternoon."
Not wasting even a second to ponder, Byakuya remarked, "She will come."
"Why are you so sure about that?"
To that question, Byakuya let out a soft chuckle.
"Because everybody knows you are her first priority," he commented. "In fact, if she were to be invited to your Swayamvara Ceremony, Kurotsuchi would never have a chance to be the first contestant."
General Yamamoto had a quick look at the people who appeared in the meeting and wrinkled his already wrinkled forehead when he noticed that a blue-haired captain had yet to show.
"Does anyone know where Kurotsuchi Mayuri is?" asked the very old man.
Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the front door of the meeting room before the door was opened to reveal a robotic-looking lieutenant of the Twelfth Division.
"What are you doing here?" Yamamoto inquired.
"Mayuri-sama ordered me to come here in his place to present our division's report of yesterday's event, sir," the girl replied in her usual monotone.
"Did you say Kurotsuchi ordered you, woman?" the question came from the bankai-less captain of the Eleventh Division. Kenpachi later turned his eyes towards the head of the Kuchiki Clan. "Oi, Kuchiki, I thought you told me the freak killed himself."
"I did, but apparently, I made a wrong assumption," Byakuya replied in a bored tone, not opening his eyes.
"Damn it, Kuchiki, you made me happy for nothing," said the spiky-haired captain. Then he turned to glare at Mayuri's daughter, "Hey, if your daddy's not dead, what's with all the wailing?"
"Wailing?" Nemu asked, somewhat perplexed.
"You know, the 'Oh, Mayuri, my Mayuri' thing," Zaraki explained. "At first, I thought you people were mourning, so I decided not to go out and shove my sword down anyone's throat for being so loud that it was hard for me to sleep."
"Please accept our sincerest apology, sir," said the artificial lieutenant, bowing deep. "We have been under siege since yesterday afternoon, and while we have done our best to ask those people to leave the premises, they did not listen to us."
"How about cutting their heads off? That way they'd shut up for sure," Zaraki suggested. "Anyway, you have until tonight to get rid of them, woman. After that, don't blame me if I happen to blow your oh-so precious lab along with those irritating people."
Nemu didn't seem to be affected by the threat since she merely bowed down again and replied in her usual emotionless tone, "I shall try my best, sir."
Yamamoto shook his head at the exchange before he asked the question that was apparently on every captain's mind at that moment, "What is the cause of that commotion?"
"Those women are there to beg for Mayuri-sama's affection," Nemu replied as though she was just talking about an everyday occurrence.
"Did you just say Kurotsuchi's affection?" Hitsugaya couldn't help cutting in.
"Yes, Hitsugaya-taichō. You heard me correctly," Mayuri's artificial daughter confirmed. "Those women are under the effect of Mayuri-sama's new love potion."
"Love potion?" Ukitake asked, rubbing his chin. "Is it really possible to make such a thing?"
"Mayuri-sama is capable of making any kind of drugs, sir," Nemu replied.
"Then why don't you give them an antidote?" Unohana suggested. "I'm certain that Kurotsuchi-taichō has antidotes for all of his drugs just in case."
"I'm afraid Mayuri-sama did not create an antidote for this potion since he had no plan to remedy its effect. His plan was to use only it on Shihōin Yoruichi-sama. However, she escaped before he could splash the potion on her. Those women were merely collateral damages."
Several captains in the room mentally face-palmed.
"My, my, what happened to traditional courting like sending beautiful flowers and speaking sweet words?" Kyōraku asked, shaking his head.
"Apparently, he can't do something that ain't abnormal," Zaraki offered, rolling his eyes.
"Where is he right now?" Soifon asked.
It seemed the robotic lieutenant either didn't catch the malice in the Second Division Captain's voice or caught it but ceased to care about her intention, since Nemu replied unblinkingly, "He is in the lab."
"Making antidote, I hope?" Unohana said.
"Actually, solidifying himself," Nemu returned. "He had to liquefy himself to escape from those women yesterday. However, once he returned to his solid state, it should not take long for him to make the antidote."
"How long will it take him to solidify himself?" Yoruichi wondered, suddenly having a headache.
"It should not take more than three days," the lieutenant droned. "I shall inform Mayuri-sama of your concern."
"I'm not concerned," Lady Shihōin hotly denied. "I only asked because I want to know how long I have left until I have to worry about his next scheme."
Even though each captain only chuckled softly at Yoruichi's remark, the fact that they all did so at the same time made the sound loud enough to fill the room, so Yamamoto had to bang his cane on the floor to put the meeting back in order.
"Now that we are clear on what happened to Kurotsuchi Mayuri, let's proceed with our real agenda," said the general. "First of all, except for what happened to Kurotsuchi, everything went on smoothly, so the Crown Prince sent his praise for your hard work."
All of the captains nodded.
"However, the real topic I want to discuss with you all today isn't just about yesterday's festival," said the old man. "I believe some of you may have already heard of the Naked Bandits."
"Isn't that a name of a gang of robbers in Rukongai?" asked Hitsugaya. "Don't we usually let the local authorities deal with this kind of matter?"
"Yes, but so far they have failed," Yamamoto replied. "Now those criminals have gained more courage and committed their crime more frequently. Their method of operating is robbing a shop or a convoy then forcing their victims to undress before using the opportunity that their victims were too embarrassed to chase them to escape from the scene.
"Rumor has it that now this group consists of at least two hundred members and that their leader owns a zanpakutō whose special ability is to undress people. If the rumor is true, then these criminals have a potential to become a threat to the peace of Soul Society."
"So in other words, some of us must go out to Rukongai and catch them before they think of breaking into Seireitei, eh, Yama-jii?" Kyōraku summed up.
"That is correct. Do I have some volunteer?"
"A zanpakutō that has an ability to undress people? That sounds interesting enough," Zaraki said. "You can count me in, old man. I haven't a good fight since the war ended."
Yamamoto nodded. "Anyone else?"
Since they all knew about Zaraki and his division too well, other captains seemed to be somewhat reluctant to step in, as it meant cooperating with the Gotei 13's most bloodthirsty group of people. Just when Hitsugaya thought he might end up having to accept the mission by default, for he was the captain with the least seniority, the silence was broken by the last captain anyone expected to volunteer himself for such a mission.
"I shall volunteer myself as well," said the stoic captain of the Sixth Division, making everyone in the room raised an eyebrow. "After all, my family's business is affected by these robberies."
"Oi, are you really sure about this, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi asked. "We'll have to go out to Rukongai, you know. The street might be too dirty for someone like you to walk on."
Byakuya opened his gray eyes and shot a sharp glare at the captain of the Eleventh Division.
"Perhaps I should wash it clean with your blood first, Zaraki?"
"You can feel free to try anytime," the bloodthirsty captain replied with a sadistic grin, touching the hilt of his nameless zanpakutō.
Before Yamamoto had to step in to stop the possible fight between two of the most powerful shinigami, Yoruichi cut in, "Since these two guys seem to need a referee as well as further information on the Naked Bandits, I will volunteer myself for this mission as well, sōtaichō."
Soifon opened her mouth and was about to make her comment, yet Yamamoto had beaten her to it.
"Then this is settled—jūichibantai-taichō, Zaraki Kenpachi, rokubantai-taichō, Kuchiki Byakuya, and Onmitsukidō-sōshireikan, Shihōin Yoruichi, will be in charge of capturing the Naked Bandits. The three of you may ask for supports from other divisions if you need."
Zaraki, Byakuya and Yoruichi nodded.
"Now let's proceed to the next issue…"
"Oi, oi, be more careful, brat! If you fall off, I won't catch you, I'll just let you drowned."
The spiky-haired captain, otherwise known as Zaraki Kenpachi, said while he once again had to catch his pink-haired lieutenant before she fell off the boat they were sitting on, for the girl had leaned over to try to catch the fish she saw in Seireitei's main canal.
"Ken-chan's such a meanie," Yachiru whined, pouting.
"That's because you won't stop acting like a brat, brat," the man who was given a cute nickname despite his appearance retorted. "Now tell me again what we're doing here."
While the question wasn't directed to anyone in particular, the petite captain of the Second Division who was sitting one row before the man decided to reply:
"Kuchiki is here because he owns the land that we are heading to see. Yoruichi-sama wants to rent the land to build the Onmitsukidō's new headquarters, so I come with her to help her negotiate the deal with Kuchiki. Your lieutenant tagged along because she overheard our conversation that we would come here by boat and she never traveled by boat before. You had to come because she wouldn't stop nagging otherwise."
"Why boat anyway?" Kenpachi wondered, once again, having to catch his ward by her collar.
"It's the quickest way there after shunpo, but we don't want to shunpo for the reason that it can be exhausting," Yoruichi noted from her seat to the right of Soifon. "Anyway, we're almost there."
By saying almost there, the cat lady meant three minutes later.
"We are here," Byakuya announced after having been quiet for most of the trip.
The announcement made Yachiru beamed and jumped off the boat towards the land to run around in the cherry orchard. The captain of the Eleventh Division could only sigh and wonder why he had been able to put up with that little girl for so long before he got off the boat as well.
Lord Kuchiki was the third to get off the boat. He offered his hand to the ladies to help them both to the shore then he told the rower to stay with the boat. After that, he led everyone to his cherry orchard.
"Ah…there are more trees than I remember." Yoruichi commented once she had a good look around the land.
Meanwhile Yachiru was exploring the new piece of land she had stepped onto with Zaraki watching over her from a distant, leaving only Lady Shihōin, her protégé and the landlord to discuss about the land.
Soifon also looked around the place thoughtfully. "If you really are going to build a new headquarters here, Yoruichi-sama, you will need to cut down most of these trees."
"But that'd be a waste, eh?" the cat lady commented, remembering the time when she was having fun tempting a certain noble boy to chase after her to get back his belonging. "Maybe I should just rent another land, after all."
"Aside from that, I think this place is perfect, Yoruichi-sama," said Soifon. "Even though it is still in Seireitei, it is still secluded and isolated from other places. Not to mention it is big enough to house all facilities."
"Yes, you're right," Yoruichi agreed. "So would you mind if we cut down some of these trees, Kuchiki-taichō?"
Before Byakuya could give his answer, he sensed someone dash towards their direction, and when he realized again, the lieutenant of the Second Division had already appeared at the orchard before him, uninvited.
"Ah, taichō, I've finally found you," Ōmaeda exclaimed, somewhat out of breath. "I heard you came here with Yoruichi-dono, so why didn't you tell me so I can come with you?"
"Since when do I have to report to you, Ōmaeda?" Soifon returned, obviously annoyed. "Besides, didn't I tell you to stay at the office?"
"Yeah, but my job is to stay by your side, taichō," the plumb lieutenant claimed, though his captain highly doubted he was being honest. "Besides, when I heard that Yoruichi-dono is looking for a place to build a new headquarters for the Onmitsukidō, I wanted to offer my family's land for her to use. It won't even cost her anything, since we'd soon become the same family anyway."
Yoruichi grimaced at the lieutenant's words while Soifon suddenly felt like planning a murder of her own lieutenant.
"Unfortunately, you are too late, Ōmaeda Marechiyo," Byakuya remarked in a flat tone that somehow sounded as though it was drenched in venom. "The deal has already been made, and even if it has not, I doubt Shihōin-dono would succumb to that offer."
Lady Shihōin shot Lord Kuchiki a side-glance and wondered if she should be thankful to Ōmaeda since his appearance had closed the deal between her and Byakuya without them having to negotiate anything or be annoyed by the man's less than impressive action.
"Yes, indeed, Kuchiki-taichō is right. I've already cut a deal with him."
"But I'm sure you haven't signed a contract yet, so it's not too late to change your mind now," the lieutenant persisted.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm not going to change my mind about this land," Yoruichi insisted. "Besides, I don't recall ever going to merge my family with yours."
"Oh, but we will as long as I win that shunpo race."
Yoruichi suddenly had a headache. Even though Mayuri was still a prisoner in his own division, it seemed there would always be someone else to disturb her peace.
"Save your cocky words for after you actually won," Byakuya suggested coldly. "Now leave."
"With all due respect, Kuchiki-taichō, you may be a captain, but you aren't my captain, so—"
The rest of Ōmaeda's sentence was cut off by Soifon's fist.
"Oh, shut up! The guy owns the place, so you should be grateful he didn't just dice you for trespassing," the petite captain commented. "Now as your captain, I order you to get lost before I lock you up in the Maggot's Nest for giving our division a bad name."
Even though he was already told to leave by both the landlord and his superior officer, Ōmaeda was still very persistent since instead of doing what he was ordered, the plum man asked, "Why do you have to tell me off when she can stay?"
By saying "she" Ōmaeda pointed to Yachiru who was having fun jumping from one tree to another with Kenpachi yelling at her not to go too far.
"Because unlike you, she was invited," said Soifon. "Now don't make me repeat myself."
The lieutenant of the Second Division opened his mouth to say something in protest, but he didn't have a chance to say another word when his own captain suddenly punched him in the chin and knocked him out in one hit.
"Sorry about my nuisance of a lieutenant," Soifon said coolly as though she did not just render her lieutenant unconscious. "Now shall we continue?"
The Aftermath/End
*Uchikake (打掛) was a kimono worn by ladies of warrior or noble families on formal occasions until Edo period. Nowadays it's worn only by a bride or at a stage show.
A/N: As promised, an update, though I have to admit this chapter is a mess, and maybe this might be a good time for me to find a beta-reader. Anyway, this is the last chapter in my stock, so I can't really promise when a new chapter will be released. However, I'll continue writing once my exam is over and I'll update as soon as possible (hopefully, sometime in mid October.) That is, if my brain still functions by then. Until then, feel free to leave comments and/or suggestions.