Edited in 2016

They had stayed at the harbor, sitting down near the spot, on the ground, not caring if their clothes got a little dirty. Mariku wasn't one to sit on the ground of all places but it served greater purpose of having Ryou nuzzle him while mumbling memories about his lost relatives.

"...and then she ran from us and almost got hit by a car." Ryou sighed but smiled, turning his head to look at Mariku. "Am I boring you?"

"Not really, it's interesting enough," he told while still only half facing the boy who shook his head a bit.

"You're a bastard, Mariku," Ryou said quietly, still smiling.

Mariku smirked. "You forgot insane."

"Oh yeah... Insane bastard it is then. No offense."

"You're a twisted little git so we're even."

Ryou's smile came down a notch after the comment and he bit his lip, facing the sea. "Is that why you... why you... um... picked me? I mean, I've been meaning to ask you why but," he asked with what seemed to be a great deal of hesitation, looking all around nervous about bringing the subject up.

Mariku directed his eyes on Ryou, the boy starting to fidget nervously but not looking away, which was good if Ryou really wanted to get an answer. The brown eyes looked back, expecting to get a response, while Mariku took his time studying them. He hadn't had much time to do that, but now that he had, he saw Ryou. The little riddle puddle.

The boy frowned as Mariku grinned at his own thoughts, not caring how much time had passed or how many people had stopped and stared. They, time and people, were only parts of the world and the world could go fuck itself, for all he cared.

"Mariku?" Ryou tried, partly breaking through Mariku's thoughts. The one deep in thought hushed the other, whose eyes flicked away for just a millisecond, bringing Mariku out of his head.

"You're... making me nervous," Ryou said, giving a worried look, frown still on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked, placing a hesitant hand on Mariku's cheek. "Mariku?"

Mariku glanced at the hand before turning his head to face the sea again and Ryou let the hand drop. "I didn't 'pick you', as you put it, because I knew what kind of person you would be, but it's good that you are who you are."

Ryou looked like he was about to smile but, for some weird reason, his frown deepened. "Why then?"

Mariku smirked. "You sure like to know why, don't you?" A glance at Ryou's way, who blushed a bit, making Mariku's smirk wider.

"I-I just..."

"Look adorable too."

Ryou hid behind his bangs, glancing at Mariku from under them but looking accusing, no longer blushing in embarrassment. "Stop saying things like that," he said, voice silent. "Can't you just answer my question?" There was determination now, instead of the hesitation Ryou had first displayed. Mariku raised his brow, wondering if he had somehow offended Ryou. He had only teased.

"I saw you once in that place you rent your movies from. There was something that caught my attention," he told; plain and simple, which was everything this was not. Mariku glanced at Ryou from the corner of his eye and saw him staring.

"That's it?" Ryou asked, voice numb. "How many other people-"

"Ryou." Mariku interrupted. "I'm not some professional stalker." He didn't particularly enjoy following people around, finding out about their lives or private details; that would be a waste of his time and he wasn't interested. "I'm just your regular insane bastard," Mariku flashed a grin, and much to his delight, Ryou brightened up. The boy tried so hard not to smile or laugh, but it came after only a while of fighting it, the smile starting out small but breaking into a laugh.

It felt good to make him laugh, good to make him scared and see the fruits of hard labor, so to speak. Mariku was able to provoke emotions from Ryou with ease, and he knew it too.

Ryou had stopped laughing and was looking back at Mariku, who, without really noticing it, had started to stare, drinking in the sight of the laughing and smiling boy.

"Um... Is... Is there something on my face?" Ryou asked the highly original question, tinting pink and shrinking under the other's gaze.

"There is nothing wrong with your face." Mariku started to get up from the ground, getting a questioning look from Ryou. "Let's go back. My motorcycle is still there," he said as an explanation.

"Oh! I almost forgot that you have one!" Ryou got up and dusted himself off, an excited smile on his face before it lessened into a slight frown. "I hope nothing happened to the house though... I think I have a hole in my sock now." He inspected the other of his socks, standing on one foot, grasping Mariku's shoulder for support. "You own me a new pair, mister." Ryou told, looking up from the sock, with a teasing glint in his eye.

"Oh I'm sure there's something I can do to make that up to you." The smirk was evident, making Ryou blush a bit as he put his foot down and let go of Mariku.

"I'm sure you can." The blush turned a shade darker but there was also a smile, the previous glint never leaving. "But maybe we should go now. Public place, Insane Bastard, come on." Ryou started walking away, glancing over his shoulder, checking if Mariku would follow.

He did after chuckling at his new nickname. "Insane Bastard? How affectionate of you."

"Hey, it's difficult to nickname you. I don't think you're just an insane bastard, either, but I can't exactly call you 'cuddle muffin'." It really looked like Ryou was giving this nickname business a lot of thought, which was amusing in a way. They fell in step with each other, continuing their way towards Ryou's house.

Xxx

Much to Ryou's relief, nothing had seemed to be missing when they had come back. He had to throw the pair of socks away but that was ok; the little walk had been worth the socks and more. Though, Mariku's behavior puzzled him sometimes, but he guessed that was part of the reasons the other was so interesting to have around.

"We're here, you can let go now."

The voice snapped Ryou out of his thoughts; he had almost managed to forget that he was being taken to see where Mariku lived. How could he space out now? When he was sitting behind Mariku on his motorcycle, no less?

"Though, you don't have to let go if you don't want to."

Ryou focused on the one talking and saw him smirk. "Ah well... I think it would be easier if I did... to walk and," he stammered with his words while letting go and getting off, looking around. It looked a bit like the kind of neighborhood parents warned their kids about. There were a few people moving about, the buildings were dull gray and tall. The street where they had parked was narrow and the sun hardly shone there with all the buildings in the way of the rays.

The boy refrained from commenting and his opinion wasn't asked when they entered one of the buildings, took the elevator all the way up and stopped in front of a door down the hall.

"Welcome, it doesn't matter if you don't take your shoes off." Mariku stepped in, after unlocking the door, and Ryou followed, removing his shoes out of habit and leaving them by the door that was locked behind him.

"Um it's..." Ryou tried to think of something to say. "...dim..." The curtains were shut so the only light there was, shone through the curtains. "I meant nice!"

"If you think it's terrible just say so," Mariku said. "No one, besides me, comes here so it's good enough." He sat on the couch and Ryou sat besides him, bitting his lip.

"But... don't you get lonely?" he asked. He knew he would.

Mariku directed a piercing gaze at the boy. "I love being alone. I don't even want anyone else here."

"Oh..." Ryou looked at his hands, voice just above a whisper. "I don't... I hate being alone... I like to.. have company... someone around..."

Mariku nodded, indicating that he had heard. "There's no point having company if you're still feeling alone... even with other people around."

Ryou looked back at the other, wanting to hear what he had to say, a bit amazed that he even continued on that topic.

Mariku paused for a bit, facing ahead now. "It's better to be alone, than to feel alone in company."

Ryou didn't know what to say. It had truth to it, not that he fully agreed, but was the other just talking about loneliness in general, or perhaps in a smaller scale? "Mariku..." Ryou reached to place his hand on Mariku's shoulder before the older male started laughing, and Ryou quickly withdrew his hand, his eyes widening and startled, not sure what was going on.

The laugh was so empty that it scared and fascinated him. It echoed even in the small flat and Ryou was relieved when it ceased, turning into a chuckle and then just to a smirk. Mariku turned his eyes on Ryou again and the boy felt like backing off but knew better than that.

"Funny how the human mind works, no? Sometimes it feels that 'logic' is just a word, that it doesn't really mean anything." Mariku was still smirking, nearly grinning as he spoke to Ryou, sounding amused and almost mocking. "Humanity's lovely illusion."

"I, well... I guess it's true... partly, at least... sometimes... I haven't really thought it like that but..." Ryou paused to choose his words. "...things like logic are so abstract that maybe it's just difficult to tell what's logical and what's not?" How had they even ended up to this topic?

Mariku cocked his head to a side, body looking relaxed but the mind was not. "Like sanity; who really is sane? No one or everyone, I'd say," he stopped to grin. "No one being the more likely option."

Ryou nodded and gave a small smile, more at ease now. "Maybe so. You think this kind of things a lot, don't you?"

"I'm with my mind on daily basis."

The boy laughed and pocked the other on the forehead. "And here I thought you were out of your mind for a second there."

The previous smirk widened into a grin. "Why... I'm just as sane as everyone else."

"That, I can believe." Ryou laughed more before the small amount of lighting started to bother him. "Do you mind if I open the curtains?" He didn't wait for the answer and went to pull the curtains open. From the window he could see the window of the building on the opposite side of the street that, not surprisingly, looked to be exactly like the window he was looking out from. Except that there was no Ryou behind the opposite window, of course.

"Set to lighten up my life, my sweet?" asked Mariku suddenly, chest pressing against Ryou's back as he began closing the curtains. Ryou gave him a confused glance. "The people living across the street can see straight through my window; it's better this way."

And there was dark in the apartment again.

Xxx

Mariku had had to take Ryou home before his work night started. They hadn't done anything that involved getting out of the apartment, but perhaps tomorrow. Maybe they could find a horror movie Ryou hadn't seen. Unlikely but not impossible.

He had got his goodnight kiss and somehow that made things a bit better, seeing that he had to go take care that random drunks wouldn't kill each other. Personally, he thought that it might be interesting to just let them fight it out and see how many of them would be alive after that. It would have a negative impact on his paycheck though. The customers needed to be mostly alive to get to the bar, after all. Shame. And then there was the fact that hardly anyone dared to pick a fight there anymore, not even while being drunk. Mariku just had to wonder if this strange behavior had something to do with him.

His work place came to view and just the sight of it made his good mood come down a notch. The place was smelly, it was small, suffocating and crowded because it served cheap imported booze.

There was some chatter and yelling, but it became silent when Mariku stepped in and took his place, leaning against a wall, crossing his arms and letting his eyes roam around the room. The previous yells ceased to quiet whispers and few of the customers glanced at Mariku's way but most kept their eyes on their drinks. There were a couple of new faces but they were quickly shushed by the regulars.

Mariku smirked to himself; everyone were so well trained already. He might as well pay a bit less attention to these people and think about something else. The bartender looked his way and they exchanged brief nods, but Mariku's mind wasn't all there anymore. The white haired teen was uninvited, but not unwanted, guest in his thoughts, as well as in his life.

Ryou seemed to refuse to let him be alone.

Xxx

"Dad? I thought you already called today." Ryou's phone had ringed only a few moments after he had arrived home and he had been greeted by his father's cheerful voice. He hadn't meant to sound like he wasn't glad that his father called, but that's how it came out for some reason and he felt like bitting his tongue.

"What? Can't I take interest in my son's life now? Especially when said son happens to be on another continent?"

"No, no, it's not that. I mean, of course you can... take interest and, yeah..." Ryou lightly hit his forehead and let his hand stay there; his thoughts were still going haywire thanks to a certain, so called goodnight kiss turned none too innocent. He must be grinning like a lovestruck idiot too. Great.

His father laughed in the other end. "Ryou, are you feeling fine? You sound so..."

"I couldn't be feeling much better, dad." Or maybe if he was a little less confused or... "Anything interesting happened since you last called?" Ryou felt more comfortable when the topic wasn't him and he knew his father would be happy to tell about meetings or about whatever he had done, and the man started talking about what had been going on.

"That's... interesting..." Ryou commented and headed for the kitchen. He was hungry. Did he still have some of those chocolate things he had bought? "Sounds like fun. Uh-hu, yeah. Aha!" He found one!

"...You think sitting in the office when others go out is... fun..?"

"Ah... what?" Ryou stopped in mid-movement, the treat halfway to his mouth. Ryou had to admit that he hadn't been paying much attention to what his father had said, too caught up on his food and Mariku and... "I'm sorry, I wasn't... I wasn't really listening. Y-you had to stay in when...?" He could hear his father sigh and felt so rude and stupid for not paying attention.

"Never mind, it wasn't important. You're not really ok, are you? Ryou, you can tell me if there's something bothering you. Do you need me there? Or-"

"No, dad, I'm... fine. I'm ok, really," Ryou hurried to assure, placing his food on the kitchen counter, not feeling hungry anymore. "You don't need to worry about me, I can take care of myself." He could, he could! Couldn't he?

"...Are you sure? I could-"

"Yes!" He realized that he had just yelled; been far too loud to be convincing, and tried again. "I'm sure. Really dad, I'm the first to know if I'm not alright, aren't I?" He let out a laugh but it died almost as soon as it passed his lips. "You just... Don't worry about me."

"Well... If you say so, son," the man said slowly. "It must be getting late there so... maybe you'd like to go to bed already."

"Um, yes," Ryou yawned a bit too widely. "I'm very tired so uh, good... day? Night? Afternoon?" He could hear his father chuckle.

"Goodnight, Ryou."

"Bye then..." Ryou wandered into the living room and flopped on the couch.

"Bye."

Staring blindly into space, he wondered if he should go to bed already. Maybe sleep would clear his head and then he could think straight again, and when he would wake up in the morning, the sudden doubts would have disappeared. He could probably laugh at them tomorrow.

Of course he was fine, of course he was ok. Why wouldn't he be? He would know if he wasn't alright. Wouldn't he? "I'm happy." There, that didn't even taste like a lie so it had to be true. "I'm perfectly and utterly... happy... with the way things are... now." That wasn't supposed to be difficult to say either. He needed sleep. That was it; he was tired and needed to sleep and he could read something and...

"I should eat something," Ryou muttered, but he couldn't get himself to go back to the kitchen so he went upstairs instead, taking his cell phone with him. He could eat in the morning. In the morning when everything would be fine again. Everything. Mariku and him would rent a movie and things would be fine again.

"Exactly. Fine. Just dandy." No need to make father worry over nothing. He should give Yuugi a call, though. No, he should call Mariku because he was... Mariku was his...

Ryou dialed a number, not caring, or knowing, what time it was. It beeped a few times before the person picked up.

"Ryou? Is it you?" asked a friendly, if not a bit surprised, voice from the other end.

Ryou took a deep breath, wondering what possessed him to do this. "Yuugi, hi... I'm sorry I'm calling this late..." Was it even that late? The apology was more of an automatic reaction than an actual apology.

"That's ok, it's not that late yet anyway. So... what's up? Are you ok?" Yuugi sounded worried, making Ryou regret calling him and it was close that he didn't hang up. Why must everyone be so worried about him? He was fine!

Ryou remembered to breathe again, deeply, and tried his best to sound calm, which was everything he was not right now.

"I'm ok, I just... I really need a friend right now..." Maybe that was what had possessed him to call.