Bellamy spent most of the following weeks in his room. When he did venture out, it was out of necessity and even then he worked at avoiding people as much as he could with the exception of a few. Clarke would catch him watching the stable from a distance, hoping to get a glance of Octavia. Knowing how much he missed her and Octavia's flat out refusal to acknowledge him, broke Clarkes heart for him. She could see the hurt on his face he tried to hide, but she knew how he felt.

Miller would usually have a drink with him at the bar. Sometimes Bryan joined the two, but Miller enjoyed time away from his better half, Clarke wondered if the honeymoon might be over, but the next day she would see the two together, and knew they were better than ever.

Clarke would catch Bellamy and Monty sitting near the back fence alone at times. Neither talked much, they both would sit quietly and watch the forest edge, almost as if they were being called by it. Both men had suffered and found comfort in each other. It was strange for Clarke to witness. They both would sit as if entranced by it, maybe it was a desire to escape the memories of Arkadia, or it was a bond only they shared because they were the two that followed Pike and both had to face the consequences of that decision.

Marcus, Monty, Miller, Clarke and Raven kept monitoring the blip on the map. They still weren't certain of it was another ark group. Marcus wasn't ready to send a team out yet, they were still unsure what it was, and it was too far away to be of any kind of threat. It wasn't worth the risk.

After three weeks, Clarke decided enough was enough. She had given Bellamy his space long enough. She had hoped he would seek her out to talk, but when he had not, she wanted to know what was bothering him.

As she stood at his door, her heart raced. She almost turned away. Why was she so nervous? It was Bellamy. He was the same Bellamy that had been there for her since they landed. What had changed between them that caused her to feel shaky at the thought of knocking on his door?

As she stood at his door, she looked down at her feet, and then at the door, she raised her hand to knock then brought it back down. She put her hand on her forehead and pulled her blonde hair back away from her face. She looked up and closed her eyes. She was so stressed about whether or not to knock, she wasn't aware of the person watching her. Bellamy, upon returning to his room saw her there and stopped to watch her. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded, smirking, half smiling, his head cocked to one side.

"What are you stalling for?" he finally asked, in a cocky tone. Clarke jumped, spinning on her heal to see him standing there. "Bellamy!" she exclaimed. "You scared me!" Then she swatted at him. "Sneak," she said to him.

Her reaction brought a big smile to Bellamy's face. Clarke smiled back, and tilted her head. She had not seen him smile like this in a very long time. She felt warmness rush over her, and as soon as she felt relaxed, his smile faded. The brooding Bellamy that had roamed Arkadia returned. She only caught a glimpse of the Bellamy she knew was buried deep behind the dark façade he wore now.

"Is something wrong?" he asked as he reached around her and opened his door. His gaze never leaving her face. He looked concerned, like she was there with bad news, he wasn't sure.

Clarke stepped back, letting him pass her, when he turned in his open doorway. "Why would you think somethings wrong?" she asked

"You looked like you had bad news or something, like you were afraid to tell me something," He said, "What is it?"

"No, there's nothing wrong, I…I…" Clarke was at a loss for words. She looked up at him. "I miss you." She blurted out.

"What do you mean, you miss me…" said Bellamy. "I've been here for weeks. You've been avoiding me," he said.

"I thought you didn't want to see me," said Clarke. She felt like a silly schoolgirl all of a sudden.

"Why would you think that?" he asked her.

"I was giving you space," she said. "When we brought you back, you acted like you didn't want to see me," said Clarke.

"No, I don't know where you got that idea," said Bellamy. "Clarke I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me about things. That's what friends do for each other right?" he asked.

"Right," said Clarke.

Clarke's heart sank. She felt like an idiot. She thought he felt something for her. He thought of her as a friend. She thought more of him.

"Clarke?" he asked, "Are you okay?" he asked. He could see the confusion in her expression. It was working, but he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. It was all he could do to keep from taking her in his arms, but he couldn't do it, he wouldn't let himself drag her down, because of his selfish desires.

Bellamy looked down at the cast on his arm. It would only be two more weeks before Abby said it could come off and he didn't know how much more he could take.

"So…"said Clarke, "When do you get the cast off?"

"Abby said two weeks," said Bellamy as he grabbed a piece of metal from his table that Monty has crafted for him, and started sticking it into the cast through the bottom; scratching his arm. "If I don't cut it off myself first," he said struggling to scratch the itch that was driving him crazy. Finally he found the right spot and wrinkled his nose as he scratched away. After he was done he sat his scratch stick back on the table.

Clarke smiled slightly at his antics. "How's the shoulder?" she asked.

"It's getting better, pretty much healed but it looks worse than it is," he said. "Abby said I was lucky Niylah…" Bellamy stopped talking. His expression changed like a sadness that washed over him. "She said I was lucky."

Clarke could see the change. His whole mood and shifted. He was withdrawn once again.

Clarke walked up to him. Right up to his face. "Bellamy, I know she (Niylah) said things to you, and I know what you must be going through."

Bellamy averted his eyes for a moment before staring back into her blue ones. "How could you know," he whispered. "You're not the monster here Clarke, I am." His eyes held a sadness that broke her heart.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and he very loosely put his hand on her back. She felt his resistance for the first time. Clarke pulled back and looked at him. "Bellamy, you're not a monster," she said. "You're a good person."

Bellamy backed away. He looked at her, shook his head and said, "You don't have any idea."

"I know you blame yourself for…"She started but was cut off when he snapped back "Don't." he said. "Clarke, I know you want to fix everything, but you can't fix this. It can't ever be fixed. So don't stand there and try to say some pretty words that you think will make me feel like its okay, cos it's not and it will never be." He stepped back and turned away.

Clarke just stared at his back, unsure of what to say. Finally she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his back.

He didn't see it coming; her tenderness took him by surprise. He closed his eyes and soaked in her warmth.

"I know I can't fix it, I just want to be here for you Bellamy, Please know that I'll always be here for you," she whispered from behind him, as tears began to collect in her eyes.

He turned around and suddenly she was wrapped in his embrace. He had held back and he was tired of holding back. She looked up to him, and his lips found hers, softly and tenderly at first, making her body tremble with the newness of a first kiss. Then slowly their mouths opened more and they tasted each other and explored each other with raw passion. He wanted her, wanted to feel every part of her, he needed her, and he needed to feel the connection with her that lovers feel. He wanted it to be her, and only her. She started to pull up his shirt and struggle with her own. Then he stopped. He looked at her and stepped back.

She looked confused. "Bellamy…What's wrong?" she asked.

"I can't do this" he said shaking his head, "I can't do this to you. You deserve better than this, better than me." he said, his eyes growing wide, realizing how close he had come to ruining things. It was so hard to stop, she was what he wanted, but he knew she was better than that.

Bellamy looked around trying to find a way to get out of the situation, he had messed up, and he needed an escape. Finally he just looked at her with a disappointing frown. "I have to go, I'm sorry I cant..." was all he said before leaving her standing in the middle of his room alone and devastated tears streaming down her face.