46-50: Llama Shower! Don Pedro, Anger Management and Chaos the Potterhead.

A/N: Some swearing in this chapter, courtesy of everyone's favourite evil villain. Chaos' rant does not necessarily reflect the author's views. Oh yeah, more bad language from Scott, who really, really hates Matt. Really.

46: Two words. Don Pedro. Four words. Not a good idea. Two more words. LLAMA SHOWER!

Rome, Italy (this has been translated from Italian)

The assembled Mafioso waited. Soon, their leader - or the closest they had to a leader - would arrive.

"He arrives!" proclaimed Mafioso 1.

The black car smoothly slid into a parking position, and a diminutive figure stepped out.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I am your Don," said Pedro, sucking on a cigar," Don Pedro."

"You are not my Don!" Mafioso One declared.

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Half-Don?"

"No."

"Three-quarters?"

"Piss off."

"Semi-Don?"

"No."

"Quasi-Don?"

"Nope.

"OK then," an annoyed Pedro replied, raising his arms to the sky.

"Llama shower!"

It had been a nice, clear blue sky, with lots of fluffy clouds. Now, it was a mass of llamas, looking like fluffy clouds, but fluffy clouds with a lot more biting, spitting, scratching and kicking.

Pedro watched with a smile as the llamas continued to rain down.

"It's raining llamas, hallelujah, it's raining llamas!" sang a half-unconscious Mafioso, and Pedro's grin widened. Striking a Mafia pose, he put on his best dramatic voice.

"The name's Pedro. Don Pedro."

47: Singing Radioactive at the end of Raven's Gate, when the Gate almost opens, is banned.

Hell was breaking loose in Omega One - literally. Chaos was beginning to break through, and flames were devouring the area. But amongst all this, singing was heard. Dreadful singing - it was Chaos singing after all - but singing.

"I'm waking up, to ash and dust. I wipe my brow and sweat my rust. Breathing in, the chemicals!"

"Go home Chaos, you're drunk," Matt shouted.

Chaos's massive finger flicked him off, and continued.

"Breaking in, shaping up and checking out on the prison bus! This is it, the apocalypse!"

Matt gave up. This dude was supposed to be an arch-villain, the baddest villain in town. Instead of destroying the world, he was singing. Well, if you could call it that. Matt decided to sneak away.

"I'm waking up! I feel it in my bones! Enough to make my systems blow! Welcome to the new age, to the new age, to the new age!"

Chaos was completely oblivious to the fact there was nobody listening - after all, it hadn't stopped other great artists.

"Woah-woa-h, woah woah, Radioactive, radioactive!"

As the gate started to close, Chaos began to realise nobody was listening.

"Radioactive - hey, wait, anyone for I Spy? I'll begin! I spy, with my little eye, even though I can't actually see in this world, and I don't actually have eyes, oh, screw it. Scrabble? Hangman? Hey is anybody listening?"

Chaos was cut off as the crack closed, and Matt gave a sigh of relief.

"You have not made it through into the X Factor. Goodbye, Chaos."

48: YouTube is really not a good idea.

"Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan!" Chaos sang," Ah, Nyan Cat, my finest disciple."

He clicked on the next video. YouTube really was a wonderful thing.

"Ah, PedroTheGreat. I totally don't know this guy."

Meanwhile, Matt was storming around the hacienda, trying to find all Pedro's blackmail. Unfortunately, Pedro seemed to have developed the ability to smite people with llamas, or alternatively just throw llamas at people. Matt hoped he'd get a second power. Maybe lasers? That would be cool.

Chaos squealed as he watched the video.

"Matt/Scarlett! Totally my fave pairing, dudes!" he proclaimed," Minion Two! Steve! Download all these videos for me!"

Meanwhile, at the hacienda

"YOU WHAT?"

"Your videos have been downloaded 100,000,000 times, mostly by the Old Ones. I'm in negotiations for a Hollywood film, a West End play and a Broadway musical. Actually, two series of Hollywood films. One about your videos, the other about our awesome adventures. Oh, yeah, did I mention I sold 150 million copies via eBay and Amazon?" replied Pedro

"NOOOOOOO!"

Chaos was indulging in his favourite Matt/Scarlett video when the duo burst in, a reluctant-looking Jamie following them.

"Can I have your autograph?" squealed Chaos.

"Excuse me?"

"Sure," said Jamie.

"Not you," Chaos said," Pedro is working on releasing Jamie/Holly videos, but until he does-"

"HE'S WHAT?"

"Working on releasing your intimate videos."

"OH NO HE DIDN'T!" Jamie yelled, exiting the scene.

"So, can I have your autograph?"

49: Scott does not need Anger Management.

"So, Scott. Keep calm, and think of what angers you the most."

"Why do I have to do this stupid shit anyway?"

"Answer the question."

"Your face."

"Properly."

"Matt," Scott said," Dude's a fucking prick. Arsehole. Tosser. Wanker. Bastard-"

"OK, OK," said the anger-management psychologist," So, why don't you write a list of your feelings about this 'Matt'..."

Two hours later

Scott was still writing the list, which stretched across four A3 pieces of paper. The psychologist wondered how he did that. As far as she knew, there weren't that many insults in the English language. The psychologist looked over at a sheet of A3. It was covered in swear words. Eyes burning, the psychologist ran out of the room, and Scott gave a victorious smile. Five hundred and sixty psychologists down.

50: Do not let Chaos near Tumblr. In fact, keep him well away from anything Internet-related.

Chaos was mad. Mad with a capital mad. Wait, how did that even work? Never mind, he was still Very Mad. Very, very mad.

What had caused him to be in this state of fury? It wasn't the Five. Nor was it the llamas. It wasn't even Cullen's stalkers. No, what had made Chaos mad was much worse.

"How the fuck can you ship Harry with a Mary-Sue OC? How the fuck do you actually do that? Harry belongs to Ginny! Not some fucking OC!"

Chaos noticed where the offending comment had come from. Something called Tumblr.

"Well, this can simply not be allowed to continue," said Chaos," Harry/Ginny must prevail!"

After signing up (under the name The Big C) Chaos searched for fellow Potterheads (Harry Potter fans) to help him on his quest. Unfortunately, none of them would take up his offer, and Chaos went alone.

First, he decided to have a look around Tumblr. He saw something about 'Power of Five' but dismissed it.

"Nothing to do with me," said Chaos," Even though it says my name on the blurb."

Chaos finally arrived at his mortal nemesis' blog, and unleashed his fury.

[REDACTED]

While Chaos ranted, Pedro watched, and carefully steered the evil villain towards the next step. Fanfiction.

A/N: I hope you liked it! This brings an end to the Pedro's blackmail story arc - it will still be referenced, but not focused on. Internet related focuses will continue, and you can never have enough Crazy Chaos, so expect even more of everyone's favourite villain. We're halfway there, people, and that's mostly because of all you readers. Can we make it to 100? I think we can. Hold on, because this is going to the next level...