Author's Note: I tried to make this as realistic to the two of them as possible, so I hope it lives up to the excited expectations that y'all left in the reviews, which I love by the way. Also, a lot of you have been asking about how far in the time this story will go, and I will just say that I definitely have a few tricks left up my sleeve.

Nick felt his chest freeze yet again as his phone rang for about the seventh time that day. He was a detective; it wasn't like he wasn't accustomed to days where his phone would ring incessantly and he would want to chuck it at the wall, but today was different.

The last few days had been different. Amanda had been off work for two days. It had been two days since she had collapsed in court and he found out through his boss relaying information to a phone operator that she was pregnant. Every phone call could potentially be her inviting him to come see her to tell him the news for what she thought would be the first time he heard it.

The last time he had been this anxious about receiving a phone call, it had been over another woman. His mind flashed back to when he had first proposed to Maria and she had hesitantly told him that she needed time to think. He had waited, crushed and brokenhearted for the phone to ring, but it never did. A week later she had simply shown up at his door with the ring on her hand.

None of his calls over the last two days had been from Amanda. He intentionally neglected to look at the caller ID, delaying the inevitable disappointment for another second.

"Amaro."

"Nick?" came a familiar voice through the phone, much more timid than he had ever heard it before. He hadn't expected it to be her, not this time. What did he say?

"Hey, Amanda, is everything alright?"

"Umm yeah, I'm fine," she mumbled.

"You don't sound fine," he said cautiously, fighting the urge to just yell out that he knew. But he wanted to do his best to follow Munch's voice because he did agree that she deserved the chance to tell him on her own terms. He just wished that she would bite the bullet sooner rather than later.

"Listen Nick… do you think you could come over tonight after you get off work? There's something that I kind of need to talk to you about."

"Of course," he said, before internally kicking himself for sounding to eager. Even after he had left her that voicemail, trying to show her how that she could trust him and that he would be there for her, he realized that if he wanted to convincingly play the part of not knowing he would have to sound a little more wary.

"Is it an emergency? Are you going to be ok until then?" he asked, calibrating his voice back to that of merely a concerned colleague. Amanda had often garnered his concern throughout the time that he had known her, and he had learned how to project that concern in a way that would not raise the suspicions of the squad. It wasn't until they were alone at one of each other's houses that he would allow his worries for her to be unfiltered and to reach out to her more intimately, usually to be rejected. Damn her resolution to live life as nondependent on others as possible.

"Yes, I'll be okay. Tell everyone I say hi and that I miss them, ok?"

"Will do. See you later, Amanda."

"Yeah, see you later."

The hours that were between 10 in the morning and seven in the evening seemed to taunt him by lengthening themselves. Nick kept looking up at the clock, only for the time to have barely changed after what felt like hours. Carisi, picking up on his restlessness, asked him why he seemed so anxious to leave the office, a fight nearly broke out.

"Calm down Amaro, it was a joke. I wish it wasn't though, because clearly you need to go on a date and get laid with all this built up aggression."

"What I need is for you to stop being such an asshole and driving everyone on this damn team crazy. Who do you even think you are? You just come to this team and start-

"Carisi! Amaro! My office, NOW."

Olivia had ended up having to send him own early, sensing that he could just not calm down. She probed him, asking again and again about what it could possibly be that was so invasively bothering him. When he wouldn't respond she told him to take the day off, as they had no case at the point of time and that she could not afford to have him break Carisi's nose on a paperwork day.

Olivia had expected him to fight, but he just nodded his head before practically sprinting out of the precinct.

Amanda did not whether Nick texting her that Olivia had let him off early that day and he was on his way over now, if that was ok, made her feel a little relieved or little more terrified. She knew that the sooner that she told him the sooner she could have the weight of the anxiety over still having to tell him lifted off of her shoulders, but her heart threatening to beat out of her chest reminded her that the sentiment was easier said than done.

The phrase "I'm pregnant" was only two words, but she did not know if she had the strength to utter them aloud. When she had sobbed and gasped for breath in Olivia's apartment, which she was now absolutely mortified about, Olivia had stroked her hair and murmured that everything would work itself out. At the time it had comforted her, but now she wasn't so sure as to the validity of the words anymore.

Was it even possible for someone's heart to beat so fast? Her chest was pounding, her palms were sweaty, and her stomach was churning. Could she do this?

A firm knock on the door alerted her that she didn't really have a choice.

Pull it together, Amanda. This is what needs to happen.

She peeked through the peephole and then opened the door, feeling almost like she was going to pass out again. Before Nick could even get out so much as a "hey," her stomach flipped over and she felt the bile begin to rise in her throat.

Damn it, intense nerves and being a pregnant woman in her first trimester were not a good combination.

She mumbled a quick "excuse me" before clamping a hand over her mouth and scurrying into her bathroom. She closed the door behind her, but apparently should have locked it, as she felt a hand gently pulling her hair out of her face and another one resting on her back.

She pushed back one her arms against his chest, hoping he'd get the message to wait outside and to not watch her empty stomach, but either he didn't get the message or was just ignoring it. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.

"Nick, go away," she managed to pant out in between heaves.

A simple "no" was his only reply.

Sometimes she really appreciated how caring and protective that he was towards her, but most of the time it drove her up the wall, and the current occurrence was not one of the exceptions.

When she was fairly certain that her stomach was done sabotaging her attempt to have a nice, civil conversation with the man who had impregnated her, she leaned forward to flush the toilet and begrudgingly accepted the washcloth that he was holding out for her to wipe her mouth on.

"Thanks," she muttered, not making eye contact with him.

"No problem. You want some water?"

She wanted to protest, to inform him that she was capable of getting her own water, but all the energy and bravery that she had mustered up had just been sucked out of her. Accepting a glass of water wasn't weak, right?

"Yes please."

"I'll be right back," he said, squeezing her shoulder lightly before leaving the room.

God, she was not looking forward to this conversation, especially with the way things had started out. Nick came back into the room quickly, kneeling down beside her and holding out the glass of water, which she accepted without incident. As she cautiously took a few sips, he began to speak.

"Must be a pretty bad stomach bug you've caught if you're still sick."

There was something funny about Nick's demeanor and tone of voice, but Amanda couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Alright, here we go.

"Actually, it's not a stomach bug, it's umm…"

"Amanda, remember what I said? You can tell me anything," he said expectantly, a little too expectantly. What did he think was going on here?

Sighing, she looked down at the floor. It was now or never.

"Nick, I'm pregnant," she blurted out, snapping her eyes back up to him, desperately searching for any sort of emotional reaction in his face. His expression definitely changed, but he didn't seem utterly stunned and panicked like she had expected.

"I hate to steal your thunder, Amanda, but I already knew that. I was just waiting for you to tell me that yourself."

What?!

How did he- how could he…

Looks like she was the one getting shocking news today, not the other way around. Her head was spinning- how on Earth could have known, seemingly before he came to her apartment? Sensing that she was at a loss for words, he began to explain himself.

"When you passed out after testifying, Barba, who I might add I'm curious about how he knew, told Liv to tell the 911 operator that you were pregnant. I was very shocked, to say the least, even though I had some vague suspiscions. Don't worry, no one else in the room heard."

"But Liv said you didn't hear, either! What if Fin and Carisi know? Oh god, everyone knows. What am I going to do?"

"Hey, hey. Fin and Carisi were definitely too far away to hear with how quietly Barba and Liv were speaking. I just played dumb, that's why Liv thinks that I don't know. And I'm assuming when you were with Olivia you didn't tell her that I was the one that got you pregnant?"

"Of course not! I wanted to talk to you about that before she knew! What kind of woman do you think I am? I would never blindside you like that!"

"Amanda, I'm not accusing you of anything," he said calmly, looking her right in the eye.

He was right. There was no anger or belligerence in his tone; even when he inquired as to why Barba knew before he did, he wasn't accusing her of being sneaky or trying to hide the fact that he was potentially going to be a father again from him. He was holding himself calm and steady, which for him was no easy feat. He was trying hard, very very hard. And she supposed that considering the current state of things, she should be doing the same.

"I'm sorry I flew off the handle for a moment there, I was just shocked. I figured I'd be the one taking you by surprise today, and not the other way around."

"Understandable," he chuckled, before gazing at her intently. He may not be pointing fingers at her, but he was still counting on an explanation.

"I never meant to tell Barba, and I obviously never meant for Olivia to find out. That part just kind of happened. And so did the thing with Barba. I wanted you to know first, I promise, but I had just found out the day before the trial and was crying and Barba just happened to call me and I just really needed someone. And then I promised myself that the day after I testified that I would tell you because I needed to focus on one thing at a time, but then, well, you know what happened. I just kind of lost my courage for a while. But I never meant to hide it from you, Nick."

He stared blankly ahead for a moment, assumedly processing the flood of words that had just came out of her mouth at lightning speed. She hadn't stopped for a breath and anxiously watching Nick led her to hold what was left of the air in her lungs right there, resulting in a strangled gasp.

"Hey, breathe Amanda," he encouraged, his hand tentatively rubbing her back. When she didn't shift or push it away, he let it rest there.

"I just needed some time to take that all in, and I believe you. I'm just relieved is all."

"Relieved?"

"When I found out that Barba knew first, I was afraid that after our fight at the bar that I had completely lost what I had of your trust. And don't fight me there, I know that you don't trust me completely. But I'm glad that it wasn't like that."

"It's not like I have all of your trust either," she retorted, not in the mood to fight with him but also not about to let him paint himself as the martyr in their relationship. Yes, she was difficult in ways that Nick did not deserve to have to deal with, but sometimes he was just so damn self-righteous and it drove her insane.

"Fair enough," he said slowly, still obviously trying very hard to maintain the peace, "you and I don't exactly have the best track record. But can we put that to the side for a second to talk about the most current mess we've gotten ourselves into?"

"Nick, I honestly have no idea how to handle this. I'm not saying that this is easy on you, but you've been a dad before. I have no idea on what motherhood is. I never exactly planned on not having kids, but I was never banking on them either! How do I even do this? What if I'm a terrible mother! I already passed out once because I wasn't even eating or sleeping! I'm a good detective but that has nothing to do with being a mom!"

"Wait, wait, wait, Amanda slow down. You… you really want to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like abortion, I wouldn't say I'm 100% opposed to it… I work in SVU for god's sake, but-

"Nick, I've put a lot of thought into this. I may not know what I'm getting myself into, but you're going to be a dad again."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get an abortion, but I also don't want you to do anything you don't want to because of me."

"Yes, Nick, I'm sure."

"So this is really happening."

"Yes. It's really happening. But Nick, I don't want you to feel trapped by this."

"Trapped?"

"You already have two kids and I don't want you to feel like you have to be a perfect dad to this one. I may not know what I'm doing but I can handle it."

Amanda felt the hand that had been resting on her back being retracted sharply, and she turned to look up at Nick, who she had clearly (and unintentionally) pushed over the edge. He had been trying so hard to be civil and calm with her, but before he even began to speak, she knew that had gone out the window. She wasn't even trying to pick a fight that time- did she accidentally insult him? Did she choose her words incorrectly?

"Nick, whatever I said, I didn't mean-

"You didn't mean to say that I wouldn't be there for my child? Because that's sure as hell what it sounded like Amanda!"

"I just didn't want to make you feel like you didn't have options!"

"What options? Options like walking out on my kid, or did you mean something else by being a less than perfect dad? Enlighten me, Rollins!"

"You're right! I'm sorry! You're better than that, I know! I just… I'm scared, ok?"

"Scared that I'm going to leave you pregnant and alone? Jesus, Amanda, I knew that you didn't trust me, but I didn't think you thought of me as a deadbeat!"

"I don't, I just meant that-

"Ok, so you don't think of me as a deadbeat. Do you think of me as more of an abusive asshole like my dad?"

His dad. So that's what this was about.

"No! You're not your dad and I know that! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that."

"Well you did, Amanda."

"I take it back, Nick, I didn't mean it!"

"You take it back? It doesn't work like that!"

And just like that, he was gone, rushing out of her bathroom. How much lower could she possibly get? Here she was, sitting on her bathroom floor with tears running down her face because she had broken what was left of the relationship she had with the man who got her pregnant. She might as well start gambling again, while she was at it.

She heard her front door open and there was a few seconds of hesitation where she got her hopes up, only to have them crushed when she heard the door aggressively slammed shut. She broke out into sobs, no longer feeling the need to hide her emotions and vulnerability from Nick.

He was gone.

Or so she thought.

"I'm so sorry, hey, I'm so sorry. It's ok, Amanda, I'm not going anywhere. Everything is gonna be ok, Amanda. I'm so sorry," he murmured, sitting back down on the bathroom floor and taking her into his arms.

She didn't push him away, but she didn't return his embrace either. She just shook her head, hurt by Nick's outburst and embarrassed that he got to see her sobbing on her bathroom floor. She felt his finger under chin, tilting her head up to look up at him.

She begrudgingly met his gaze with a stubborn one of her own.

"I'm not going anywhere, ok? I will take care of you through this, I promise. We will find a way to make this work together."

The way he looked at her brought butterflies to her stomach. She believed him, that was for sure. Never before had anyone looked at her or spoke to her in such an intensely devoted way. But she quickly shook the thought from her head.

If it wasn't for this baby, he wouldn't have anything to do with you. You've been terrible to him. This is all about the baby, not you. He doesn't care about you as anything more than a coworker, he just cares about his kid.