Chapter 10

Edited: 01/07/17 6:08 PM

Warnings: Basic plot, anger, angst, depression

Severus Snape was not a coward. Not only would he attest to that but many of the people who knew what he had done for the war could as well. He'd fought his battles swiftly and with intelligence more than brute force. His instinct was to survive, and hopefully one day, thrive in the process of it all. If anything, he was still waiting on the last part but that was fine by him. Many who didn't hate the very thought of his existence considered him a hero, but Severus knew he wasn't one. Everything he had done had been for his own selfish desire to live. That wasn't entirely true though, not after he realized how much Lily's son took after her. It may had started out as a promise to protect the boy but it eventually became Severus' own want to make sure he lived his life the way it should have been. Sighing as he packed up his books, he looked over at his desk where a picture of a boy with black hair and a sweet-faced girl with vibrant green eyes were smiling.

'Even now Lily, I miss you. If only you could see how your son has grown.'Leaving his desk as neat as if he hadn't been grading papers at it, he headed to the floo.

(HP)

Sirius was pacing the library, frustrated and beyond proper thinking. He had cornered Remus earlier in the week to discuss his feelings for Harry, and the conversation had not ended how he thought it might.

(FlashBack)

Sirius sat at the kitchen table with Remus, both of them drinking tea as they caught up. They tried doing it at least once a week, both busy with their own things they considered important. Remus tried spending most of his time avoiding Harry, but not making it overly obvious. Sirius spent his time plotting how to get Severus' attention and making new pranks with the twins. This was news they obvious weren't sharing with one another.

"So what did you want to talk to me about Pads? It seemed kind of serious with the way you were speaking of it." Sirius fiddled with the tea-cup nervously and Remus' brows drew in. He could smell the anxiety in the air but Sirius was always worked up about one thing or another; nothing new.

"It's about Harry." The emotions that flew across Remus' face would have knocked Sirius out if he hadn't been expecting it. That was slightly a lie though as he hadn't been expecting emotions of that intensity.

"What…about Harry? Is he ok?" Remus tried racking his brain for any indications he might have noticed where Harry was ill. He made it a point to know where the young man was at all times, not that he was a stalker, but it made Moony – admittedly himself as well – feel better.

"Yeah, yeah, Pup's fine. Just wanted to talk to you about him." This is where Remus started to become nervous. Him and Sirius had been lovers at one point in time, and were still great friends. They knew everything about one another, and talked about everything – admittedly something's you just didn't talk about with even your best friend.

'Like the fact his Godson is my mate.' The purr Moony gave in remission made him want to blush.

"What exactly did you want to talk about? Did you find out about his sleeping problems?" Sirius looked confused for a moment before shaking his head.

"No, he hasn't mentioned that but thanks for telling me, I'll have to bring that up. I'll just get straight to the point Moony – I know you want him. Before you even ask, since we both know it's a lie, I mean in that sort of way." Remus was stunned silent, not sure how he should answer. He never wanted Sirius to find out. He was already working on his plans and he hadn't planned on sharing them so soon.

"How did you find out?" Sirius grinned, tapping his nose.

"Like I've told Harry before, my nose doesn't lie. I caught you both in the hallway this week and even a blind person could have seen the hormones raging." Remus couldn't stop the flush from working on his cheeks.

"Yes, well, you don't have anything to worry about that because I am not going to act on it. Ever." The finality in Remus' voice worried Sirius but he shook his head.

"That's not it Moons, I think you should."

"I don't think, - wait you what!?" Remus said shocked, sitting his tea cup down before he broke it. Sirius busted out into a laugh, sitting his own cup down.

"Yeah that's right, I think you should. If there's anyone I trust to be with Harry and take care of him, it's you. I mean, who better to show him what life's really about, eh?" Remus shook his head, running his fingers through his already graying tawny brown hair.

"No, Sirius, there's a lot of better choices; preferably not a werewolf." Sirius made a nasty face at Remus' words and cut him off.

"First off, knock off the werewolf bullshite, yeah? We both know Harry doesn't give a damn about your furry problem. Second off, don't even pull the age card because I've talked with him and he doesn't believe age can dictate how one person feels about another. So the only problem I see here is you're too scared too. I mean, does Harry seem like the kind of bloke who would tear down a guy just for telling them about his feelings?" Remus fought off a growl, running his fingers through his hair more aggressively.

"None of that is the point, Sirius. Don't you get it? Yes, I care for Harry; I always have. But as a magical creature, there are things about my nature that cannot be ignored and I will not put Harry through that. I won't even give him the possible notion that he has too. He's too bloody stubborn and proud." Sirius grinned at his friends words, beaming at the praise towards Harry.

"Of course he is, and I'm almost bloody positive that's part of the reason you fancy him. C'mon Moons! It won't kill you to talk to him about it. Just do it." Feeling cornered and Moony's own natural repressed frustration finally made Remus snap.

"I'm leaving." Was all he said as he slowly rose from the table, fists clenched. Sirius himself stood, moving towards the doorway.

"'Oi! C'mon Moons, no need to act like that. I'm just trying to get you to do something good for yourself for once." Remus ignored him, walking towards the stairs; Sirius followed.

"No Pads, I'm leaving. I've already started packing my things and I'll be out by Monday." Sirius froze in his tracks, only able to stare after Remus whose pace had slowed.

"You're…you're leaving? Remmy, why're you leaving?" The sound of despair from his friend's lips made him want to change his mind but he couldn't. This was what was best for him and Harry.

"I just can't stay here anymore Pads. I need to be with the Pack. Things are tough out there right now and I'm needed."

"We need you Remus. All of us do. You're like the stupid bloody rock that prevents us from killing one another." Remus couldn't help the small smile that popped on his face.

"I appreciate that Sirius but this is best for everyone."

"If this is about Harry, I'm sorry about nagging you. I just want to see the two most important people in my life happy, Remus, is that such a bad thing?" Feeling a twinge of guilt at his friend's sadness, he shook his head.

"No Pads, it isn't. It still doesn't change the fact that I'll be leaving. I'd appreciate if you wouldn't tell anyone. I'd like to do that myself." Without another word, he headed upstairs to his room.

(FlashBack Over)

At first Sirius had been depressed, going back into his ways of not eating or sleeping. Now he was just angry. Why did Remus think this was a good thing? Of course his Pack was important but they were his Pack also. They needed him just as much.

'Stupid bloody, moody wolf. Stupid Remus.'He thought frustrated, pacing around the room as he tried to piece everything together. How was he going to tell Harry? He had promised Remus he wouldn't tell anyone, but Harry would be crushed by the news.

'Dammit Moons, putting me in a right spot you are.'Sitting down at his desk, he did what he did best when he needed to think. He planned.

(HP)

Remus was pacing his room, trying to piece together his thoughts. He knew it was wrong of him to drop the news on Sirius like that then walk away. The other man always knew how to press his buttons.

'He didn't leave me a choice, I have to protect Harry.' – 'No keeping us from mate! He's ours, he needs us!'Remus sighed in agitation, tired of fighting with Moony over the same thing every day. His Alpha had been right; the urges were becoming stronger a lot faster than he thought they might. Every time someone in the house touched Harry he felt a growl building up in his throat. Whenever he came upon Harry and smelled someone else on him all he wanted to do was pin him up against the wall and cover him in his scent. At first he wanted to blame Moony but he realized a part of him wanted to do all of it just as badly. Stacking the rest of his things up against the side of the room, he'd asked an elf to take it over to the Pack for him. He hadn't told Fenrir exactly why he wanted to come back to the Pack for a while, knowing his Alpha would not let him stay. He'd be a coward in his eyes but in reality he just wanted to protect Harry. Heading out of the room, he bumped right into Sirius. Before he could even speak, the look of anger crossing his friend's face made him pause.

"I hope you plan on going downstairs right now and telling Harry that you're leaving. If not, I will." Without another word, Sirius walked away and Remus felt a deep ache in his chest he knew wouldn't leave for a time to come. Walking down the steps a lot slower than he had been before, he felt his heart rate increase as his mate's scent became stronger. Stepping into the den, he couldn't stop the smile that lit his face. Harry was curled up in Sirius' favorite chair by the fire, nose pressed into a book he seemed very interested in. Clearing his throat, he felt his chest tighten when Harry flushed and beamed at him; sitting the book down in his lap.

"Hey Remmy." He swallowed thickly, walking into the room to sit on the couch across from Harry.

"Hello Harry, how are you today?" Another smile was beamed at him and he felt a little bit worse.

'Come on Remus, this is for him.'

"I am well; yourself?" Harry couldn't control how fast his heart was beating, his palms sweating against the bind of his book. He knew now that Remus had to have known that he was at least physically attracted to him, the waves of lust highly obvious at the point. The spiked smell of arousal made a pleased growl build up in Remus' throat but he swallowed it.

"I am doing well also. I actually wanted to talk to you. I and Sirius were talking just the other day and I thought it was best I come to you about it myself." Harry's heart rate picked up to an alarming level and it made Remus nervous. Sirius obviously hadn't told Harry because there was no sadness mixed in with his scent; only excited happiness. Moving one leg and then the other, Remus tried to make himself comfortable on the couch.

"Whatever it is Remmy, you can tell me. There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about as well, but you go first."

"I am leaving." Everything in the room seemed to freeze and all of Harry's happy emotions fell of the radar into despair and confusion.

"You're…you're leaving? What…why?" The broken look on Harry's face made it impossible for Remus to look at him, turning his head instead to stare at the fire.

"It's something I've been thinking about for some time now. I think it would be better for me to be with the Pack so I am going to stay with them." Harry had to fight off a whine of agony. He knew he should have never listened to Sirius! There was no way Remus liked him, it was all a lie! The only comfort Harry felt was that at least he didn't embarrass himself to Remus before the rejection.

"O-oh, I see…well if you think that's what's best for you, you should do it." The hollow tone of Harry's voice made Remus feel like he was dying. It wasn't supposed to happen like this! He was doing this to protect Harry, yet right now all he could do was hurt.

'Stop hurting mate now!' He shook off Moony's howls of anger and sadness as he tried to focus on Harry.

"Thank you Harry. It means a lot to me that you're supporting my needs." Harry bit at his lip, adjusting his glasses as his grip re-tightened on the book in his lap.

"Of course Remmy, whatever makes you happy." – 'Even if it isn't me.'Finally looking at him, Remus made it obvious he was now trying to get Harry to look at him.

"Harry? What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" The feelings of depression washed over Remus ever heavier than before and he was worried about what Harry had needed to talk about.

"Oh that? It was nothing really, just something's I've been tossing around. Nothing important….nothing at all." Without another word, Harry got up and rushed from the room; leaving the book lying in the chair. Remus felt his chest cave in a bit, knowing that he'd caused his mate such pain. Feeling Moony claw underneath the surface, he knew he needed to get out of there before Moony broke free and went after Harry. Apparating straight to the Pack's home, he was shaking when he appeared before everyone. They all looked at him wary, all able to tell that he was having trouble controlling his wolf but not sure why. Just then, Fenrir stepped forward, worry filling him at the sight of his oldest cub. He was shaking, his eyes full of madness.

"Pup – heel." Even at his stern words, Remus was frantically trying to gain a hold on himself.

"Alpha, I can't-,"

"You. Will. Heel." The loud growl followed by a pitiful whine made Fenrir realize that his pup had done something very bad. Stepping forward, he placed his palm a top of his head.

"Pup?" The utter look of loss and despair on Remus' face made him want to howl out.

"Mate – gone."Those were the only words Fenrir needed to hear to know Remus had done the unthinkable.

"We'll get him back." Without another word, Fenrir lead the in-control wolf back to his hut; barking at the rest of the Pack to get back to their chores.