chapter 10

Jude's POV
Tommy just looked at me completely shocked. He wasn't expecting that and me either. I just thought that it could be a possibility. Now Tommy is scared. I'm so stupid.
Tommy: Jude, are you sure about this?
He asked no expression on his face.
Jude: I'm not sure, but we never talked about this and I just…sorry Tommy, I shouldn't tell you about this. It's my problem
I said looking down. He cupped his hand on my cheek and looked at me with love.
Tommy: No, everything is ok. If something happens to you, I have to know it. And this is not only yours, this is our. If you're pregnant, then we are having a baby, not only you.
He said finally smiling. I was about to cry. How can he be so perfect?
Jude: And what are we going to do now?
Tommy: We're going to the drugstore to get one of those pregnancy tests and we'll know if you're pregnant or not.
He said calmly wiping my tears.
Jude: And what about Sadie and the school in Montana stuff?
Tommy: I'll talk to her later. Jude, this is more important. You might have my baby!
Jude: keep it down Tommy, or everyone in this world will find it out.
Tommy: Sorry, but I feel weird, like worried but happy at the same time.
Jude: So let's go.

At the drugstore
Jude: Did you see Sadie's face when you told her you would come with me to the drugstore? She knows something, I know it.
Tommy: She doesn't know anything. She just knows what I feel for you, but she thinks you're not that easy.
I looked at him totally mad.
Jude: You're calling me easy?
Tommy smirked and he grabbed two pregnancy tests.
Tommy: That's not what I mean Jude. Ok, here are the pregnancy tests.
He said showing me the tests.
Jude: Two? Why would we need two pregnancy tests? Oh Tommy, are you worried too? Didn't have your period?
I said laughing as Tommy just rolled his eyes and walked through the hall talking about security and that we have to make sure about the results.
He paid for the tests and then walked to the drugstore's bathroom.
Tommy: Now, get in there and do it.
He handed me one of the tests but I didn't move.
Jude: I don't want to do this Tommy. I'm scared.
Tommy sighed.
Tommy: I'm scared too Jude. Let's go inside, I'll help you.
I just nodded and we got into the bathroom. Tommy locked the door as I ripped the box and read the instructions.
Jude: So here it says that I have to use this dipstick and the cup to…oh, that's gross!
Tommy: Just do it ok?.
I took all the stuff and got into the cabinet, and then I made the test just as the paper said and went out. Tommy looked at me, his eyes opened wide.
Tommy: And? Am I going to be a daddy?
He asked excitedly
Jude: I don't know. We have to wait five minutes. Ten minutes if we want to make sure about the results.
Tommy's smile faded.
Tommy: Ok, then we'll wait.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt about to cry again. I was a kid, a stupid fifteen years old kid and I'm not ready to become a mom of a kid that is my sister's husband.
Tommy: What are you thinking about?
He asked me suddenly. I looked at him, hesitating to tell him my worries. But he read me like a book.
Tommy: I know you're not prepared Jude, but I'll be by your side and we'll find a way. Jude, if it wasn't for Michael, I would leave Sadie in this right moment.
He leaned for a kiss. I responded immediately. At first was a sweet kiss, but then he deepened the kiss and pushed me against the washbasin as his hands went directly under my shirt. He made his way down my collarbone as he lifted me up and sat me down on the washbasin. Everything happened so fast that I didn't know how he was half naked and my shirt and bra had mysteriously disappeared. Suddenly, when his hands were pulling down my jeans I came back to reality and pulled away.
Jude: Tommy, we can't do this.
I said breathless. He looked at me totally puzzled.
Tommy: Why? C'mon Jude, I just want some fun. I have never done this before.
Jude: Tommy, we're here because I might be pregnant, not to become a pregnant woman.
At first, he looked down but then looked back directly at my eyes and smiled warmly.
Tommy: It's ok. I respect you. Now let's see the test and then we'll repeat it to make it sure.
Jude: I don't want to see it. You go.
I told him as I picked up my clothes. Tommy sighed and the walked slowly to the cabinet.
Tommy: Ok, I'm seeing it. And I don't know what this shit means.
Jude: Well, here it says if it's light blue then I'm pregnant and if it's pink, then I'm not.
Tommy: Well...then...
Jude: What Tommy?! I'm about to burst!
He came out of the cabinet with the cup in his hand. He was pale and his face wasn't a happy one.
Jude: Oh my God, it's positive. I'm going to be a mom.
Tommy: No. it's negative. It's pink.
He said almost in a whisper. I smiled widely but then looked at Tommy. He was sad.
Jude: What's wrong Tommy? There's no problem, I'm not having a baby!
Tommy: It's...nothing. I was just looking forward to have a baby with you.
I felt terrible. He wanted this and I didn't. But he has to understand, in our situation and with my age, it's just difficult.
Jude: Someday, when you're free and I'm older, we we'll have babies Tommy, I swear it for anything you want.
I said as I leaned for a kiss.
Tommy: And I promise I will make something for us. We'll be together forever, and nobody, not even Sadie, will tear us apart.
He hugged me and then we came out of the bathroom.
We were into the car when I remembered something important
Jude: Oh, I forgot something. Hold on.
I got out of the car and went to the drugstore again. I came back a few minutes later with a smirk on my face.
Tommy: What did you forgot?
He said looking curiously at the bag I had in my hands.
Jude: I won't pass for this again Quincy.
I said smiling as I showed him a box of condoms.
He smirked and kissed me.
Tommy: You're so smart.

The ride home was silent. I needed to tell him something important but I couldn't find the words.
Tommy: Jude, there's something wrong?
He asked as he parked in front of the house.
Jude: Tommy, now that I'm sure I'm not pregnant, I made a decision and I hope you understand it.
Tommy: What?
He asked, his eyes reflecting mine. I know this is going to be hard for him and for me, but I have to do it, for Michael. I love that boy as he was my brother and I won't let Sadie to hurt him.
Jude: I'm going to let Sadie win. She wants me to go to that school and I'll go there. I'm going to Montana.