Scrubs Season 5 Episode 10 My Best Man
We start with J.D. in a random patients rooms writing on a chart while the patient is asleep.
J.D.: A lot has been on my mind recently. Which will come first the baby or the marriage? What am I going to wear for the occasion? Is Dr. Cox actually going to come? Which came first the chicken or the egg. But most importantly how is Turk going to react when I give him the news he's been waiting for his whole life.
Turk comes in.
TURK: Somebody order a surgical consult?
J.D.: He's asleep.
TURK: Cool, want to go play some ball.
J.D.: Awesome. I am so going to allyoop you.
TURK: And you wonder why you never get picked first.
J.D.: Today I will prove everybody wrong.
We cut to J.D., Turk, The Todd and Laverne playing basketball.
J.D.: After I kick some ass on the court I am going to give Turk the big news.
We see J.D. trying to dribble the ball past Laverne only to run straight into her. The ball bounces to Turk who shoots and scores.
TURK: And that is game.
LAVERNE: What are you doing Q Tip I'm on you side!
TURK: Unlucky Nurse Roberts.
She starts walking off talking to herself.
LAVERNE: Get stuck with some silly white man who cant jump every time.
TURK: Dude I thought you were going to prove everybody wrong.
J.D.: There's always next time.
TURK: Not if Laverne gets you in a room alone.
J.D.: Ok here it goes. I need to talk to you about something choco bear.
The Todd walks by.
THE TODD: Good game T Dog.
He hi fives him then walks into the hospital.
TURK: What's up?
J.D.: I've been waiting to see your reaction to this since college. Will you be my best man?
TURK: Yeah sure.
Turk walks away bouncing his basketball leaving J.D. staring at him leaving.
J.D.: Well I thought he would have been a little bit more excited.
Opening Credits.
We start with J.D., Carla and Elliot at the lunch table.
J.D.: Hey where's Turk?
CARLA: He's still stuck in surgery.
J.D.: Oh ok.
ELLIOT: Enough about Turk let's talk about my big day.
J.D.: I asked Turk if he wanted to be my best man and he didn't show any excitement whatsoever.
CARLA: Are you sure you weren't married to Turk.
We cut to J.D. and Turk on the sofa.
J.D.: What do you want to do?
TURK: We could have sex.
J.D.: Yeah sure after the sports though.
TURK: Of course.
We go back to the café.
J.D.: I'd have to start liking sports.
ELLIOT: What?
J.D.: Oh nothing.
CARLA: He's probably just bursting with excitement inside.
J.D.: You think.
Carla shrugs.
J.D.: You picked your bridesmaids yet Elliot?
ELLIOT: Please I picked them like 5 years ago.
J.D.: That's before you and I even met.
ELLIOT: What's your point?
J.D.: Did you even have a boyfriend at that time?
ELLIOT: As you can clearly see…
Elliot gets a massive book from under the table and opens it to a page marked finish. There is a picture of a husband and wife with Elliot's head on the bride and a ? over the head of the groom.
ELLIOT: …everything was sorted out.
J.D.: Oh my god I'm marrying a freak. That's great dear.
ELLIOT: Now if you'll excuse me Carla and I have some work to do.
Elliot and Carla get up and leave. Dr. Cox walks by.
J.D.: Dr. Cox.
DR. COX: Dammit and here I was thinking it was working.
J.D.: What was working?
DR. COX: My powers of invisibility.
J.D.: I need your help.
DR. COX: There isn't a day, nay an hour where I wish I don't have to here that one little sentence.
J.D.: What would you have done if I asked you to be my best man?
Dr. Cox throws his tray over his shoulder then punches J.D. in the face. We cut back to Dr. Cox standing over J.D. like before.
DR. COX: I don't know.
J.D.: I asked Turk.
DR. COX: Oh thank god.
J.D.: Yeah anyway I asked Turk and he didn't seem that bothered.
DR. COX: Wait a minute I'm confused here.
J.D.: What?
DR. COX: Isnt Turk the one your marrying.
J.D.: Thanks great help.
DR. COX: Always try my best.
J.D.: Are you at least coming to the wedding.
DR. COX: When is it?
J.D.: I don't know whenever Elliot decides it is.
DR. COX: Open bar?
J.D.: Probably.
DR. COX: Am there.
J.D.: I new he liked me.
Intermission.
We start with J.D. walking down a corridor.
J.D. Im so annoyed at Turk I don't think I could have asked absolutely anybody.
We cut to whoever is talking.
DR. KELSO: I'm hungry so get out of my face before I eat you.
TED: Sure I'll be your best man I'm just glad you and erm… I want to say Kylie.
J.D.: Elliot?
TED: Who?
DR. COX: Although the term best man is perfect for me I am nor will I ever be yours!
JANITOR: Not only will I be the best man I will also be the priest for you.
J.D. runs off.
DOUG: Will I have to make a speech?
J.D.: Yeah.
DOUG: Then I'm in I'm an excellent public speaker. Now I'm off to a M n M conference.
J.D.: Doug that was this morning.
DOUG: Oh god.
Doug runs off.
J.D.: Ok maybe theirs only Turk but that doesn't mean he doesn't have to be excited about it.
We cut to J.D. sitting alone in the café with a cup of coffee. Turk sits down with him.
TURK: Man what a day its been none stop surgery after surgery after surgery.
J.D.: Kill anybody?
TURK: Not today my friend not today.
J.D.: Tell him how you feel. Why do you hurt me so much?
TURK: Excuse me?
J.D.: This morning I asked you if you wanted to be my best man and you didn't even bat an eyelid.
TURK: I said yes.
J.D.: That's not enough.
TURK: What did you want cartwheels with that?
J.D.: I thought you would be more happy to be my best man.
TURK: Dude I can barely contain my excitement.
J.D.: Your doing a fantastic job.
TURK: The reason I haven't made a massive deal of it is because I knew I was going to your best man.
J.D.: How?
TURK: Who else was it going to be? Dr. Kelso, Ted, Janitor, Doug?
J.D.: That's not the point.
TURK: Alright I tell you what to show you how much I am happy…
Turk gets up and walks off the screen.
J.D.: Where you going?
We see Turk do a cartwheel past J.D.
TURK: I'm going to be your best man!
He sits back down.
TURK: Better.
J.D.: Yes.
They both laugh and clink coffee cups. We cut to Elliot and Carla who are at the nurses station.
ELLIOT: Are you happy your going to be my maid of honour?
CARLA: I'm delighted now we have a lot of work to do between now and when your getting married. Speaking of which when is the big date?
ELLIOT: I don't know.
CARLA: You need to tell J.D. other your going to be engaged for years.
ELLIOT: Oh I will.
There is a brief silence.
ELLIOT: So does Turk actually care about being the best man.
CARLA: Oh please he will be running around the apartment tonight chanting the fact.
Elliot and Carla laugh. J.D. comes up with Turk.
J.D.: Whats so funny?
CARLA: Nothing bambi.
ELLIOT: You ready?
J.D.: Yeah lets role.
Elliot and J.D. walk off hand in hand. We wait until J.D. and Elliot have left.
TURK: I'M THE BEST MAN!
CARLA: Yeah you are baby.
TURK: (Chants) I get to be best man. I get to be best man.
CARLA: Somebody is going to sleep tonight.
We cut to Elliot and J.D. walking home.
J.D.: So maybe Turk isn't as excited about being my best man as much as I would have liked him to but I cant obsess about silly things like that. I have a wedding to plan.
ELLIOT: Oh by the way my parents are coming over next month.
J.D.: Ok.
ELLIOT: You need to ask my dad for my hand in marriage.
J.D.: ARGH! (He smiles) No problem. Ok I have a lot more to worry about than planning a wedding.
End Credits