A/N: As always my thanks to each and every one of you who is reading, following, favouriting and reviewing. Please feel free to tell me what you are thinking as we go along, it makes all the difference.

Chapter Ten: Reconnecting.

Jane landed heavily on Catherine, as the prison officer had anticipated the misstep and was already mid flight pulling Jane forward away from the ledge, when the foot finally missed its location. While completely incidental, their positioning gave Jane that all too familiar shot of desire as she felt warm breath on her neck. Familiar hands were still placed firmly on her back, causing her breath to hitch involuntarily as she lifted her face so that she could make contact with pale blue eyes. She realised that she had missed looking into those eyes and the touch she felt, she shuddered and rolled over away from the rookie. Guilt pinged around in her gut just for thinking about kissing the woman who had moments ago been beneath her; she needed to sober up.

Catherine expertly pulled her arm away from Jane as she rolled so as not to have it pinned beneath the Italian. She turned her head and really looked at Jane for the first time that evening, "You're still in your sweats from this morning?"

Jane turned her head to the side so that she was looking directly at the rookie; a stupid grin crept its way onto her face. "After everything that just happened, that is what you ask me?"

Catherine beamed, "It made you smile, didn't it?"

"That it did Rook, that it did." The smile disappeared from her face as darker thoughts returned to the forefront of her mind. "I thought I was ready to die."

"I thought you were too and it petrified me Jane." She watched on a little surprised when Jane entangled their nearest hands together. She returned her gaze to piercing dark eyes and relaxed a little; if holding hands in that moment was what the Italian needed then she would allow it.

"I think I would have done it Cate, if you hadn't shown up when you did." A pang of guilt invaded her stomach at the sight of the hurt flashing through Catherine's eyes. She didn't wanna hurt the rookie, but she needed to talk, she needed to try and unburden some of the heavy feelings choking her down.

"And now?"

"I just want it to stop." She felt a reassuring squeeze of her hand as encouragement to continue. Unable to keep meeting the intense gaze of her friend she turned her attention to the sky as dusk was finally making way for night to begin. There were enough lights from the buildings around them to ensure they were not enveloped by darkness. "She didn't leave me because I didn't tell her about you. She left because I think it was just the last straw to break her, everything Paddy has put us through… it's just been too much for her."

"Not telling her before you proposed was boneheaded Jane." She had followed suit and was now staring at the darkened sky, accepting of the fact that this was the easiest way for Jane to communicate.

"I know, but honestly it just slipped my mind."

"Ouch."

Jane turned to look at the prison officer again, and gave a soft squeeze on her hand to get her attention, when their eyes met she elaborated. "It's not like that. So much happened when I got out, it just didn't cross my mind. Trust me; you're not exactly easy to forget."

Catherine decided it wasn't the time to argue that point and mention their own history together, but rather time to keep prodding Jane to open up about events that had clearly had an impact on her. "What happened?"

Suddenly feeling a bit hesitant to continue she tried to lighten her tone a little and joked, "You got all night?"

Catherine stared right through the attempted humour and answered honestly, "Yes." She had no intention of going anywhere until she felt fairly certain that Jane wasn't at risk and if she couldn't be certain of that she had no qualms with forcing her to seek psychiatric help. She just hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

"You're incredible, you know that right?"

"I'm not doing anything that anybody else wouldn't do in this situation." She didn't want the focus on her, because that was not going to help Jane deal with her life.

Jane sighed and returned her eyes to the night sky. "I'm sorry you had to see this. I kinda wish you hadn't shown up. This was the best time, Maura wouldn't have gotten the call, she wouldn't be working, she would be home alone… oh shit!"

"Jane?" Catherine sat up and looked over at the Italian who appeared to have gone pale. "What's wrong?"

Jane clambered to her feet and made an unsteady move towards the fire escape; getting up quickly had caused her head to spin. "I have to call Cailin."

Catherine was up almost as fast as Jane and placed a steadying hand on Jane's shoulder. "Okay, just take it easy first. I don't want you taking an inadvertent nose dive over the railing." She guided Jane towards the fire escape and walked behind her as they climbed down, keeping a hand on the Italian's shoulder the entire time until they had climbed back through the open window into Jane's apartment, which was only lit up by the rays of light emanating from the cracked television.

"Just wait there a moment." Jane quickly navigated the destruction she had left in her wake earlier and hit the light switch, bringing much needed light into the equation.

Looking around at the damage Catherine couldn't help but speak dryly, "I like what you've done with the place."

Forgetting a moment her reason for returning inside Jane laughed, "It brings out my eyes don't you think?" Her features returned to a frown as she looked around for her cell phone, when she discovered it was busted frustration caused her to throw it across the room; she hadn't remembered how hard she had thrown it earlier.

Catherine pulled her phone from its holster on her belt and offered it to Jane, "Here, use mine."

"Thanks." She wandered away into her study, which was located next to her bedroom. She couldn't remember Cailin's number by heart so she had to look it up on the cloud. She spoke briefly with Cailin asking her to check on Maura, without being too committal as to why, just implored Cailin to please do as she asked and didn't hang up until she was sure that Maura's half sister was going to head over to the medical examiner's residence.

"What was that about?" Catherine asked as Jane emerged from the study. She was leaning against the door frame into Jane's bedroom, which appeared to be the only room that hadn't suffered Jane's wrath.

Jane handed back the phone, "That was Maura's half sister. I figured I should ask her to check on Maura, she doesn't really reach out for help very well and I didn't think she would want Ma or Frankie comforting her. I just don't want her to be alone in this Cate, I couldn't live with that."

"She's lucky to have you."

Jane didn't necessarily agree at that point in time. She brushed past the rookie and collapsed down onto her bed, she was exhausted. "You say that Rook, but if it wasn't for me none of this would be happening."

Catherine followed her into the bedroom and sat on the bottom corner of the bed. "I think you're gonna have to explain that one to me Jane."

The Italian woman pulled herself up and sat cross legged on the bed so that she was facing the prison officer. This was part of the long story she needed to tell, but was afraid to start. Afraid that once the emotions started pouring out she wouldn't be able to catch them and box them away safely again. Although she realised that she had not been very successful doing that all afternoon either and that this in fact might be the only way she could finally start to find some peace. "When I shot him… when I shot Leary… that started everything else that has happened since rolling. Everything that has happened to Maura is because of me." She'd never been able to tell Maura that, she had wanted to on so many occasions to let how she felt be known, but she hadn't had the courage.

Catherine reached out and held on to Jane's hand, "Honey, you made a decision in a moment of anguish, you thought she was dead and while I dunno what all has happened since that day, I sure as hell know you wouldn't have wished anything bad on that woman."

"It ain't about anything I wished Rook. I pissed off Paddy by turning myself in…"

"Yeah that part I remember." She still loathed thinking about the beatings Jane had taken at the hands of other convicts at Paddy's mere say so.

"He manipulated everything from there rookie. He kept our letters from each other, probably via Fallon, and he even stopped her from seeing me one last time. He took all that away from us all the while manipulating Maura by putting a damn clone of me in her life."

Catherine nodded slowly as she put a few things together in her mind from the press and what she had learned in the prison. "That Valentina Rossi, the one who tried to kill you? She was the one Maura moved on with?"

"Yeah." She paused for a moment as her anger welled, she tried to swallow it back down but she couldn't stop some of it escaping when she continued, "And Maura's grieving her death." She realised then that while she had tried to be understanding of what it felt like to Maura, she didn't understand one iota. The woman had been nothing more than a manipulator and had tried to kill her and threatened to kill Maura too. Her grip involuntarily tightened around Catherine's hand as the rage tried to make another appearance.

"Jane!" She attempted to tug her hand away from the private investigator, "Look at me. You need to let it go, holding on to this is killing you… and my hand!" she spoke the last part with a smile.

Suddenly realising what she was doing Jane let go of the hand. "Shit, sorry Rook."

"Don't worry about it. Look, go take yourself a shower and change into clean clothes. You need to eat somethin', and judging by the mess out there I'm not gonna find anything useful to fix you. So I'm gonna take you out for somethin', okay?" It was time to slow things down, Jane had reached a point where sharing any more didn't seem like a safe idea for either of them. Catherine recognised the anger, having seen it before when Jane was in prison and she didn't want to tangle with it.

"Okay, sure." Jane didn't have the energy to argue; besides if she was honest with herself it would be nice to get out and away from the fishbowl her apartment had become.