A/N: Sorry no updates lately… Busy, busy life. Kind of. Hah. Lots of little things to do seems more like it.
Anyway where were we?
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just their personalities.
What's the main phrase of this chapter?
"I don't care."
…
(Edward POV)
"If your parents' passed away from a drunk driver –an alcoholic-, then why did you start to drink?" She wonders.
Without warning, unintentionally, my fingers clench and my jaw tightens.
"Good question." I manage to wheeze out. I'm all clenched. My body almost aches by how tight my muscles are. My breathing is heavier.
I don't talk about this stuff.
I just, don't.
"Are you going to give me an answer?" Bella asks me slowly, gauging my reaction.
Ah, no.
"Why the hell do you give a damn?" My voice is raised and a few bystanders turn their heads but I don't give two shits.
"Edward," Bella's voice is a soft whisper. "People are staring."
"Let 'em look. Hell, girlie, I ain't tellin' you nothing." I keep my voice raised but it too, is tight.
"Edward…" I watch as the girl before me, the only girl shakes her head slowly. " Calm down."
I laugh completely humourlessly. "Calm down?" I snort. "I'm not two and I'm not telling you nothing. We just met. Why do you even care?"
"I'm curious."
"Don't freaking be." I reply stiffly. I narrow my eyes and look at the empty cup before wishing I had something in there. Probably something with high alcohol content, yeah… That'd be nice. I don't look at the girl, Bella, anymore. I refuse to. She's pissed I can literally feel how pissed she's getting. But why? Shouldn't I be mad? She's the one pushing it.
Why the hell am I even here? I should go. Yeah, I don't do this stuff. I'm out of here.
But Bella beats me to it. She stands up and I cautiously look at her. And she opens her mouth to speak, her voice is harsh, "Can I leave now?"
"I don't give a damn." I lean back against the wooden chair and out of my peripherals I can see people still looking. I bite my tongue so I don't shout at them to take a damn picture. Damn people are so fucking nosy. Bella is still standing there so me –being the asshole I am- use my right hand and do the gesture to shoo her off. "See ya."
She bites her lip and looks like she wants to say something, but no she doesn't. She grabs her jacket off the back of the chair and puts it on. Once it's zipped she looks back to me. She looks like she wants ME to say something.
"I don't care." I say even though it makes no sense, but it's true. I felt so careless in the moment I might as well have let her know right?
Bet y'all are teaming up with her.
Skinnies.
"About what?" Bella asks me as she pulls out some loose change in her pocket and drops it on the table, probably paying for her drink.
"Anything."
She nods softly, slowly, as though if she did a quick nod her head would fall off and she turns and walks out. I watch her walk out, mostly checking out her backside. I chuckle to myself. I feel drunk.
I want to be.
After a while people get back to their own business and leave me alone, probably thinking I'm just messed in the head completely.
Let them think what they want though because I honestly do not care.
I don't care.
After a while, I get up and leave having nothing to do and my ass nearly falling asleep. I make sure I have my guitar all packed up and I get out of there. The minute I step outside I am engulfed by cold, night air and my nose is instantly frozen. I tighten my grip around the handle of my guitar case and walk away.
Walking down the street and turning the corner, I realize I am on the street I met Bella on. She dropped her keys, which I got in my hands and made me see her again. Why was I so… wanting… to see her? It made absolutely no sense to me. But it was still true. I still wanted to see her. Shit.
But I don't care…
Or I shouldn't.
She shouldn't want a thing to do with me. Ever.
Doesn't mean I can't want to be with her right?
Be with her… I snort to myself, still walking in the night's cold air. Maybe it was good that I was an asshole to her because now I am helping her. Sure it's not helping me and Alice was all excited and likes the fact I have someone in my life that I actually communicate with, but for Bella, well Bella deserves far, far more than I could ever offer. I can't offer shit. I crappy cup of coffee, a selfish attitude and some guitar playing is about all I could ever offer her.
Yeah, I'm a real ladies man.
Sarcasm.
But every time I blinked or got lost in my thoughts, every step I took, all I could think about was her.
Bella.
Another step forward.
Another thought of her.
Another step.
Another thought.
And another.
Another.
Shit.
This was far worse than the way alcohol took over my brain.
Then I realized how much I messed up.
…
A/N: Aw Edward or should I say GrouchWard? Just let yourself be happy…
*Sigh* Anyway, he's stubborn guys. What'll happen next? Who knows? Oh yeah… I do.
Ha ha, please review.