Holy crappers. I swear I'm not dead… Obviously this story was put on a hiatus that lasted a little longer than my midterms and went until after my finals because of school, sports, family, and all the other time-consuming/sometimes difficult aspects of my life that I thought I'd be able to continue writing through. You guys can't let me make excuses if you want more chapters though, because I really do love writing this story. You help me to not procrastinate, and I'll give you something to read? Guys, I'm serious.
I've also changed my name on here to MyExistentialAffliction, if you haven't noticed. This is also my Tumblr url if anyone cares to know.
Magnus closed the door to Alec's apartment building behind him with a smile he didn't feel the slightest need to hide. He noticed the familiar sleek, black car parked directly in font of where he stood and looked to each side briefly out of habit before reaching for the door.
"Mr. Bane."
At the greeting, Magnus paused with his hand on the car door and looked in through the rolled-down, passenger side window to see Zachariah smiling gently at him behind the wheel. Magnus smiled, feeling it fitting to have the same great night start and end with his favorite driver, whom he had quickly grown to think of as a friend.
Magnus slid into the back seat and smiled into the mirror at the silver-haired man before directing Zachariah to his office with a sudden sigh. All good nights had to come to an end eventually he supposed.
Magnus was quick to get out of the car once it pulled up to the sidewalk behind the back entrance to his office, eager to straighten things out quickly. He flicked lights on as he went, some coming on automatically as they detected motion through the halls. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed the room that had held the last photo shoot had all its lights on and sighed in annoyance. Out of everyone he paid in this place, no one thought to turn off the lights when they were done, and maybe not waste his money on the electric bill?
He crossed the hall and opened the door before reaching his hand out to hit the light switch, but pulled his arm back with a pretty undignified (though he would deny that detail) screech when he saw a head turn to look at him from the long navy blue couch at the other end of the room.
"Jesus!" He gasped before doing a double take once he recognized her. "Izzy? What are you doing here? It's kind of late," he said absently as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and tapped the screen to see the time.
"Left my purse here after the shoot yesterday, and then I saw this," she explained, holding up a cream-colored folder that he recognized as the one that held the photos from the shoot they had done on Friday. "Hope you don't mind me looking, some of them are of me anyway. I mean, I saw how all the other girls looked in person, but I wanted to see if the new photographer could accurately capture all of my alluring qualities on film."
"I wouldn't say his job was too grueling, my dear. A toddler with an iPhone camera couldn't even make you look bad."
"Well I guess where there's an abundance of beauty, it can make up for any lack of talent," she agreed with a giggle-like chuckle. "Thank you," she added more seriously.
"I wanted to thank you too, by the way," he told her.
Izzy looked up from the photos in her hands to look at him with a slight smirk. "I know that I am truly a gift, but what exactly am I taking credit for this time?"
He gave her a small smile before moving to sit down beside her on the comfortable, plush couch. "For convincing your brother to give me another shot. I mean, I owe you for even getting him to give me a first one at all. I'm glad to know I can count on you to help me out when I make a total mess of things." He chuckled quietly until he heard her heave a sigh. He looked over to see her straightening the photos, lining them up at the edges, and sliding them pack into the vanilla-colored file folder. She placed them neatly on the metallic coffee table in front of them. Clearly he had said the wrong thing if her reaction and the look she gave him once she looked back up was anything to go by.
"Look Magnus, I love my job, and I love working with you. Honestly, you're a great person to work for, but make no mistake, I love my brother infinitely more than this - or any - other job. No matter how great of a boss I think you are, I'll still hurt you just the same if you screw with Alec."
Magnus was taken aback, more at her tone and the implication than the words themselves. Isabelle Lightwood was smart; he'd known that, so he shouldn't be shocked to know she'd be a little hesitant towards the idea of her big brother opening up to Magnus. He could understand that, but Alec had told him that she was the one to really convince Alec to call Magnus at all. Hell, apparently she'd even stuck up for him and his stupid mistake at the coffee shop the other day. "I thought...if you think that then why would you tell Alec that he should forgive me?"
She turned her head to inspect her nails. Magnus noticed they were painted in a tasteful, dark red polish that matched her shoes. Her hair fell like a curtain off of her shoulder, and he couldn't see her face when she told him, "It wasn't really you I was concerned about. I wasn't trying to do you a favor or anything."
Magnus tipped his head to the side with a confused expression. "I don't follow."
She pushed back the black wall of her hair with her perfectly painted nails and sighed again, as if she couldn't believe she had to sit there and explain herself to him. "I've always pushed Alec to date and meet people. He gets so caught up in the little shell of familiarity he keeps around himself - in the security of his apartment with all of his books instead of real people - that I think he misses out on how great his life really could be. He needs different; he needs risk, and to be perfectly honest, you fit that bill.
"You seem like an actual good guy to me, Magnus. I'm not blind, of course. I know you sleep around, and I know you aren't the picture perfect boyfriend, especially when it comes to being faithful, but there are things about you that I know could help Alec. He needs to learn how to accept himself, how to have fun, how to just let shit go and not worry about everyone else.
"Yeah, you might break his heart - and believe me, this is not me giving you permission to do so - but Alec genuinely needs this experience. I figure if someone could wiggle and worm his way into my brother's heart, you were the best horse to bet on. I don't want him to be hurt, but I'll be able to comfort him if he is. I can handle that. What I cannot handle, and will never forgive myself for, is if I let him continue to shut everyone out and treat himself as if he's meant to be alone forever."
Magnus sat back straighter as he stared at her. His eyes were unblinking, he was sure, and he suddenly felt even more like an ass than he had when he was trying to get Alec to talk to him. He had known that Alec was shy and pretty introverted, but the way Isabelle talked about him, it was as if he desired (or felt he deserved) a life of complete solitude.
Not only did he feel like a down right jerk, but he also felt a sudden responsibility that he didn't know what to do with. It was true that Magnus thought whatever was going to happen between Alec and himself could be good for him, but he hadn't thought much about how it would affect Alec. Magnus never would have thought dating him could give Alec some sort of lesson on life or cause any personal growth. The sudden responsibility he felt after this realization hit Magnus like a brick to the face, which was probably rather accurately portrayed through his facial expression.
Izzy stood up and brushed over the nonexistent dust on her skirt and slipped the strap of her expensive bag over one shoulder. She took a few steps towards the door and turned back to him. "Don't make me regret convincing him, Magnus. If heartbreak is what Alec needs, then so be it, but that doesn't in any way lessen what I will do to you if that's the case. Recognize that this could be really important for him, and that this is not an opportunity for you to take advantage of a relationship-ignorant and inexperienced guy. We clear?" She was strictly business at this point, and it definitely unsettled Magnus. It was the first time he'd really seen Izzy's Protective Sister Side, and it definitely served its purpose. He suddenly thought of the deal he had just made with Alec and wondered how she would react to him gambling her brother's heart in a bet.
"I have nothing but good intentions," Magnus promised with as much convection he could stuff into the few words. He had no idea if he was able to hide the uncertainty in his voice, but Isabelle looked almost satisfied.
She smiled a smile that was almost indescribable on a face like Isabelle Lightwood's. It wasn't quite sad, but it wasn't completely hopeful either. She made her way through the door, not bothering to face him as she called over her shoulder, "Yeah well... You know what they say about good intentions, road to hell and all that. Just don't mess it up, for your sake and my brother's."
"It just seems really fast doesn't it? Should I be…thinking about him this much? I know you told me to work it out with him, but I just feel like this…relationship or whatever it is, is consuming my life, and it's only been a week! I mean is that just because I don't really do this-date that is? I just-"
"Alec, this is your first attempt at any kind of romantic relationship. Now matter how fast it goes, it's going to seem like whiplash to you," Izzy told him with a roll of her eyes. She had come straight to her brother's apartment after looking through the photos from Friday's shoot and her unexpected talk with Magnus.
"You like Magnus. Everything is new and exciting and you're infatuated. That's how it's supposed to be, all giddy smiles and teenage girl feelings," she explained.
They were currently in Alec's kitchen, drinking the coffee he had just made and waiting for the popcorn that he'd just put in the microwave to finish popping. He had been against the popcorn since he preferred his coffee black and didn't think that it would complement the popcorn too well, but his sister had insisted, saying they couldn't watch the movies they'd been planning to without popcorn.
"Well the fact that I feel like I have no room for anything else in my head is actually rather annoying, not making me feel too giddy to be honest. When do I get control over my brain again?" Alec questioned dramatically, hanging his head as he did so.
"Honestly? If it's really good, probably never," she chuckled, plucking a piece of popcorn from the bowl Alec had just pulled out of the beeping microwave. Alec picked up his head and frowned, definitely not reassured by her answer.
"That's just fan-freaking-tastic." He made sure to layer the sarcasm on his statement extra thick. Isabelle didn't verbally comment on his whining, so he let the eye roll he received slide. He was used to it anyway. She did it quite often.
Alec sighed dejectedly as he skimmed the edges of his black coffee mug with his finger, careful not to spill any over the edge. He didn't look up from the hot drink when he mumbled, "But I mean, we are, aren't we? Going too fast? Can you even go to fast in a week?"
His sister sighed for what seemed to him like the twentieth time since she had walked through his door. "Maybe you are, but there isn't some rule book here, Alec. You just have to set your own pace – one you're comfortable with – and figure it out, just like the rest of us."
Alec groaned, and he had to admit, it sounded dramatic even to him. "Can we just talk about something else? I don't want my entire life to be centered around this...or him. He's not going to become the only interesting topic I'm my life," he said firmly.
Alec had become quickly accustomed to his independence since he began living alone, and it was something he valued immensely. He didn't doubt that he needed his siblings, but he was not about to become dependent on anyone.
Moving out of his parents' house had been that earth-shattering moment for Alec. The moment when he felt freer than he ever had been; not having to depend on someone was one of the greatest moments of realization Alec had ever had.
Alec had anticipated the day he'd get to live on his own his entire senior year of high school. The idea of a space that was entirely his, where he could make any decisions he wanted without consulting anyone else (whether it be financial or even what color to paint the walls) was something he craved.
He knew that he still let other people determined some of his decisions, but those situations were usually related to his family. Choosing things for himself made him feel self-assured and mature, but the second another person, whom he cared about, could be affected by his actions he questioned everything and (more often than not) made the wrong choice.
Alec wasn't going to lie to himself and deny that adding another person to have to consider in his life was a bit of a stressor. For God's sake, he couldn't even brush his teeth without thinking of Magnus. He knew it was irrational but he blamed Magnus for screwing with his head almost as much as he blamed himself.
"I think that's a great idea, bro. Boys are fun to talk about for a little while, but really they all get annoying the more you think about them."
He couldn't help but agree.
Alec chuckled appreciatively at her. It often dawned on him just how lucky he got with Isabelle as a sister. Really, he struck the family jackpot in all three of his siblings, but he was close to Izzy in a way that wasn't comparable to the way he was with either of his brothers. Izzy was almost his complete opposite in many ways, but he realized she understood him better than anyone else he knew, including Jace, whom he considered his best friend. Izzy seemed to know exactly what he was thinking about ten seconds before he realized it himself.
"Now," Izzy continued, "what we should really be talking about is the decor in this place! Alec, I thought you were going to let me redecorate your place. You are failing every gay stereotype with this atrocity," she complained as she gestured to his apartment walls. "Shame, shame," she chastised him with a sarcastic smile, though Alec knew she was serious about his apartment. She had been ragging on him since he moved in. She seemed to forget that not everyone could be a successful model and have a fancy apartment like hers.
He rolled his eyes and flicked a piece of popcorn at her. "My apologies. I guess I just really suck at being a gay man, huh?"
"Well, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself," she offered, grabbing the popcorn bowl from my hands. "All you have to do is agree to let me finally come in here to do some damage control. However, right now you have to pop in at least one of the 10 movies I know you have with Jake Gyllenhaal in them and pretend to hear what he's saying while you actually just stare at him. At least that's what I'll be doing."
He smiled as he followed her into the living room. He really did have the best sister.
Hope you enjoyed my blurb. Tell me what you thought?
P.S. Does anyone have any good suggestions of inspiring teen/young adult books about rebellion, finding yourself, and other things of the sort that does not involve a bunch (or really any) romance? I feel that they are a rare breed of YA literature and are what I'm unsuccessfully looking for at the moment. Any help would be appreciated.