Chapter Nine
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
-Mrs. Aphra Behn
Kelly heard her fear as if she had screamed aloud.
It wasn't an actual sound. Kelly couldn't have heard Jenny even if she had screamed. The music was raging against her eardrums, adding another layer of confusion to her senses. Normally her third eye was sharp and focused, able to lock in on Jenny's presence from across any distance. That night, hundreds of people crowded together, each with different emotions that pushed the glimmer of Jenny's thoughts out of her head. Giddiness. Heartbreak. Lust. Fogginess brought on from chemical supplements. Exhilaration. Rage. Powerful emotions, none of which were Jenny's.
It was frustrating. She was used to reading Jenny's thoughts as if they were her own. She had been born blessed with the ability to peek into others' minds, to glimpse the future. With Bryn, and now Jenny, her Sight had always been clearest. Even before she had come to Japan, Kelly had dreamed Jenny's dreams. She had felt her pain from across the entire length of the United States. Her tears, her triumphs. Even when Kelly wasn't concentrating on her, Jenny was always a presence in the back of her mind, as much a part of her as her fingers or toes.
That night, Kelly felt her fear – a sharp peak of terror – and then…nothing. The part of her that was always connected to Jenny became disconnected. She was alone.
Kelly swore loudly, startling the girl beside her who was dressed like a peacock. I shouldn't have left her, she thought angrily, Not even for a moment. She stepped away from the wall where she had taken position to look and feel, and thrust herself into the crowd of dancers. She was furious with herself; it was the only way to keep the panic at bay. She needed to keep her head if what she suspected was happening. He couldn't have taken her. Not so suddenly…
A flashing blue light lit a crown of beautiful red hair. Brenna was standing on the edge of the dance floor with a muscled man who was wearing a black skeleton unitard and a mask. His arm was around Brenna's shoulders, and she grinned as he whispered in her ear. The golden beads of her costume were swinging and flashing with the many colored lights of the club. Her face was lit up, but her eyes were calculating.
She would have to wait for another night to play her games. Kelly marched up to Brenna and yanked her out of the skeleton's arms. Brenna made a noise of irritation as she turned, but her scowl died once she saw Kelly's face. "What's wrong?" she asked with concern. The skeleton was heading back towards Brenna, but one glare from Kelly was enough to send him backing away, his hands raised defensively. Without realizing it, Kelly's grip tightened on Brenna's shoulder, and the redhead let out another squeal.
Releasing her, Kelly demanded, "Have you seen Jenny?"
"Sure," Brenna said, smirking and wincing at the same time as she massaged her shoulder. "She met some guy. They just headed out back."
"What? You didn't stop them?" Kelly felt as if someone had tied a rope around her chest. She was suffocating, suffocating, and the room was spinning. Why had she let Jenny roam through the club alone?
Brenna paused in rubbing her shoulder, and raised an eyebrow at Kelly. "Should I have? She's a big girl. If Jenny wanted to leave with him, why shouldn't she?"
"Leave with who? What happened? Is she all right?" A third voice broke in on their conversation. Kelly recovered enough to turn her head. Even through her alarm, she couldn't hold back a flicker of dislike. Nicholas Kestrel was standing behind her, pale in the flashing lights. The feather in his hat was drooping. He paid no attention to the girls around them who were watching him with interest. He looked sick, exactly the way Kelly felt. The last thing she wanted was to feel connected with him on basic emotions.
Instead of answering his question, Kelly swung on him and said, "Get Dalila and Lyyli, and bring them here. It's important."
A scowl found its way onto Nick's lips. "Too late. They left with the bartender for an after party." His tone made it clear that he had not been included in the invitation.
Kelly didn't have time to soothe boy ego. She cursed again and turned to Brenna, who was watching her with an open mouth "Okay, then you need to find Alyson. Meet me out back. I don't have time to explain why, just do it. And get Usagi and Mamoru. It's really important that you find them."
"I'm coming with you," said Nick.
"No, you're not. You're going to help Brenna."
"She doesn't need me. You do. Two are better than one, right?"
"I don't have time for your goddamned hero games," Kelly snarled, hating him for getting in her way.
"If something's really happening to Jenny, why are we standing here arguing about it?"
Before Kelly could respond, Nick started forward, pushing his way through the crowd. Kelly stared at his back, silently fuming. How much did he know about what was going on? Contrary to Jenny, who was an open book, Nick was very hard to read. Kelly had made Usagi promise not to discuss Jenny with him, but it was clear that he knew more than she would have liked. And cared too much. She was tempted to physically incapacitate him so that he couldn't follow her, but there was no time. If the sacrifice to keep Jenny safe meant pulling Nick out of the dark, so be it.
"Fine," Kelly snapped, catching up with him as they entered the hallway to the back exit. "But if I tell you to leave, you go and take Jenny with you. No questions asked. Okay?" He didn't answer, but she knew from the way he clenched his jaw that he understood. Black light caught the lighter threads in his cape and made it glow.
They turned a corner, and Kelly stumbled. She gasped as the hallway spun. He was out there with Jenny, behind the exit. She could feel him. His dark power hit her like a shockwave.
"Are you okay?" Nick asked. Kelly realized that he had her by her shoulders, steadying her. She slapped him away.
"Fine," she said curtly. She placed both hands against the metal bar on the door and pushed it open. Kelly stepped outside, Nick following close behind her. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the moonlight. When her vision cleared, she stopped dead, and Nick bumped into her.
It was like a scene from a Gothic novel. They were standing together in the center of the alley, still as if woven into a tapestry. Jenny was illuminated in the full moonlight, but somehow the dark figure that towered over her was cast in shadows. A black cloak masked his identity. He and Jenny were regarding each other in a long, silent gaze. One of his hands held hers, and the other touched her cheek, barely brushing her skin. It was a gesture of tenderness, of longing. If Kelly hadn't known the horror of the creature behind the cloak, she might have found it moving. Instead, the silent menace of the hooded figure and the blank expression on Jenny's face terrified her in a way she had never felt.
Nick let out a gasping rush of breath. At the sound, Lord Ahriman's head turned their way with a snap. Kelly felt rather than saw his eyes burning beneath the cloak. Hate thickened the air like black smoke. His power started to swirl around him, starting at his feet. It wouldn't take long for him to work himself into a rage that was dangerous not only for them but for every occupant of the club behind them.
Kelly did the only thing she could think of. She leapt on him, her body reacting instinctively. Surprise made him falter as her body hit his, knocking him against the side of the other building. The second his touch left Jenny, she started to sway. Nick was there in an instant as she fell. He caught her just as she was about to hit the ground; she didn't stir in his arms. Kelly forced herself to concentrate on the man she was pinning against the building. Her muscles strained to hold him in place.
"Nick, what are you doing? Go!" she yelled. Sweat was rolling down her forehead as she dug her fingers into the fabric on her captive's arms. Unexpectedly, a deep rumble of laughter rose from the hooded figure and echoed throughout the alley. It sent vibrations through her body. Kelly opened her mouth to yell at Nick again, but the sound turned into a gasp when the solid being beneath her hands collapsed, leaving only the fabric of the cloak dangling in her fingers. Kelly dropped the cloak to the ground and furiously swung around.
"Where are you, you son of a bitch?" she demanded. In desperation, she glanced over at Jenny and Nick. Nick was kneeling and shaking Jenny gently, trying to rouse her. He spoke to her softly. Jenny's head rested against his chest, her hair spread untidily over her shoulders. Even unconscious, her body was angled towards him, seeking comfort. Lord Ahriman was not pleased. Kelly could feel him somewhere nearby, watching them. His anger was building like thunderclouds swirling together.
Nick started to stand, swinging Jenny into his arms. Kelly stopped him with a sharp, "Don't move. He's still here."
Nick's head lifted. His eyes widened when he saw Kelly standing alone. "Where did he–?"
"Don't. Move."
"Why? What's going on?"
"Nick, shut up." Kelly couldn't take the suspense. Her nerves were stretched thin as spaghetti. Where was Usagi? Why wasn't Lord Ahriman striking at them? She could feel his presence around them, like hot mist lingering in the air. He was angry. Hatred hung around the alley like a cloud. Jenny was lying there, defenseless as a bird without wings. And yet he waited.
"Okay," Kelly said, her voice deceptively calm. "Here's what we're going to do. You get Jenny, and we're going to walk. Slowly. I'll follow you."
"Where are we going?"
"Nick, for the last time, just–"
Kelly broke off as a dark mass of energy hit her in her chest and sent her flying backwards. She staggered as she hit the building, gasping in air. She tried to lift a hand to gesture for Nick to leave, but a rush of wind came at her, and she was pinned, her arms useless. Her nemesis was nothing more than swirling black mist that formed into a vague human outline as it held her. She caught flashes of red within the smoky mass. His eyes, watching her with pleasure. She jerked, trying to force him to release her, but his grip only tightened. Her head started to buzz, and she screamed in frustration.
Laughter. I forgot how you like it rough. Kelly felt the phantom sensation of teeth biting almost playfully down on her neck.
She struggled to breathe, getting in just enough air to speak. "Like you'd…ever…get the chance to find…out."
Sure. Me or any other man.
Kelly's head was forced to the side as the pressure around her increased. From the corner of her eye, she could see the silver ring on her right hand with the yellow stone glinting in the moonlight. It was useless to her. She couldn't transform if she had no breath to call out the words. She could barely see Nick and Jenny through the smoke. As her vision darkened, she saw them rushing away from her, as if down a long tunnel. Her muscles weakened, and she slumped against the building.
Don't worry about your friend. I'll always take care of her, she heard him saying in her mind.
Something hard collided with the side of her head.
And all went black.
0 0 0
Jenny opened her eyes just in time to see Kelly fall. She felt lazy and peaceful, her mind caught in the hazy state of relaxation between waking and sleeping. She watched with abstracted indifference as Kelly collapsed against the dusty gravel and did not move, her hair covering her eyes. A dark figure made of smoke and shadows lowered to the ground beside Kelly, and leaned over her silently. Watching the shadowy figure was like trying to see through smudged glass. Jenny stared without making an attempt to understand. Arms were cradling her, and she felt fascinated and calm.
When the arms supporting her jerked suddenly, Jenny's foggy brain was thrust back into the present. She sat up with a gasp, the memory of what had happened flooding back into her. Hands gripped her shoulders firmly. Jenny didn't need to turn her head to know that it was Nick holding her. She couldn't look away from the shadow that was leaning over Kelly's motionless body with apparent pleasure.
Seeing movement or perhaps sensing that she was awake, the dark head turned her way. Jenny felt a jolt rush through her as their eyes connected. Slowly, the shadow pulled itself to its feet. Jenny struggled out of Nick's arms and also stood. Her heart was pounding so quickly and heavily it was almost painful. She firmly clamped her lips together for worry that she would start hyperventilating if she allowed herself to breathe through her mouth. The shadow was standing so still, looking at her. Energy pulsed from him, rippling the air around him.
Jenny started to shake from the cold that was taking over the alley. Nick stepped up behind her and grabbed her upper arms. His palms were comfortingly warm. He tugged, trying to get her to leave with him, but she planted her feet firmly on the ground. She was afraid to make any sudden movements. The shadow would dart at them, she knew, the instant it thought she would try to leave.
Nick's tugging became more insistent. "Jenny, come on," he pleaded, his voice wavering. A second later he gave up, and demanded, "What the hell is it?"
Wordlessly, the shadow extended an arm towards them, palm up. It was a clear gesture, meant to demand that Jenny come to him. Nick immediately wrapped his arms around her, and Jenny flipped around so that she was facing him. She was shivering violently. Shivering as if she was floating in the Arctic Ocean, clinging to an iceberg, and Nick was the sun, the only bit of warmth in the world. The panic she had been keeping at bay burst, and she clung to him, gripping fistfuls of his costume.
"Don't let him take me. Please don't let him take me."
"I won't," Nick promised, resting his cheek briefly against the top of her head. "But we have to go now."
Go? I think not. A gust of wind burst into being behind them. Jenny was momentarily blown forward against Nick, but then the wind changed direction. It became focused, wrapping itself around her legs and trying to squeeze into the gap between her body and Nick's, forcing them apart. She felt Nick's arm muscles tense as he tried to hang on to her. His feet slowly slid against the ground towards the shadow as he was caught by the gust. Horrified, Jenny gave a violent jerk, trying to force herself out of his arms. He held on, his teeth gritted in concentration.
"But he'll take you too!" she cried. Her skirt swirled around her legs in a frantic dance. She could barely see Nick as her hair slapped against her face, obscuring her vision.
"I don't care," he yelled back. "Don't you dare give in to him. Ever."
Jenny fought bitter tears that sprung up in her eyes. She hated herself. If it wasn't for her, none of it would have happened…Kelly, lying there on the ground, limp as a deflated balloon…Nick foolishly clinging to the belief that a steady resolve was enough to hold off evil. The shadow would kill them all, everyone who tried to keep her safe from it. And she didn't understand why. None of it made sense to her.
"Jenny!" A voice called her name urgently through the darkness and the howling wind. Abruptly, the shadow pulled back the gale. Shaken by the sudden lack of something to pull against, Nick fell backwards and Jenny landed on top of him. They scrambled around on the ground, disoriented and breathless for a moment, as Jenny tried to get to her feet and Nick tried to hold her back. Jenny was finally able to untangle her limbs from his and look over her shoulder to see a girl in a giant pink bunny suit standing in the doorway of the club. Fresh fear coursed through Jenny's veins.
"Usagi! Get out of here. It's not safe!"
Usagi didn't run. She turned her wide blue eyes to the black shape hovering in the alleyway. The shadowy figure was shimmering like a dark rippling reflection in water. For a moment, there was only silence as the two eyed each other, and then the creature began to laugh once more.
"Usagi!" Jenny cried again in warning. She tried to lunge towards her, but Nick grabbed her arms and forced her back down on the ground. Jenny didn't understand it. She started growling and thrashing against him. If any of them needed help, it was Usagi, who looked small and defenseless as the rabbit she was dressed as.
"Let me go," she hissed to Nick, but he only tightened his grip. He was sitting up, both arms wrapped around her to prevent her from getting up.
"No. You'll only be in the way. She can take care of herself."
"What do you know?" Jenny lashed out, angry at him for the note of confidence in his voice. "Usagi, you idiot! Get out of here!"
Usagi's eyes briefly flicked her way before turning back to the shadow. "I was hoping you would know better than to come after us again," she told it calmly. Jenny felt a gasp choke her throat. Again? Before she was able to ponder it, more figures appeared in the doorway behind Usagi. Alyson, who gasped and covered her mouth with her hand when she saw Kelly lying on the ground. Brenna, whose jeweled eyes frantically glanced back and forth from Jenny and Nick to the floating dark mass. Mamoru, who put a steady hand on Usagi's shoulder, registering no more surprise than his girlfriend at seeing the scene before him. Jenny's sense of unreality increased.
The creature did not respond to Usagi. Instead, the red eyes gazed past her to Jenny. For a few seconds that seemed an eternity it looked at her. She could feel its frustration and a black wave of rage rising off it like steam. Rather than lunge at her, it extended a smoky arm towards the night sky, and the sky tore. A large rip appeared in the air twenty feet above their heads that crackled and sparked with little bolts of green lightning. Alyson let out a few frightened whimpers and moans.
Figures were appearing around the hole in the sky, poking their heads in cautiously. All varieties of hell beasts that purred and gnashed their teeth in delight when they saw the scene below them. They started to drop down, leaping deftly from the hole to land on the ground in the empty space between the shadow and Jenny and Nick. Alyson started to shriek. Brenna grabbed her arm to prevent her from racing back into the club, her black and red nails digging into Alyson's skin.
"Mamo-chan, get them back," Usagi said firmly, her eyes fixed on the demons, which were stretching and twisting, preparing for the fight. Mamoru put his hands on Brenna and Alyson's shoulders and started to pull them back inside the club, but he was stopped by a hoarse, "No."
Kelly had sat up, and was rubbing her throat with one hand. She was paler than Jenny had ever seen her. Her voice sounded like she had swallowed a cup full of gravel, but she had a ring of authority when she said, "They stay."
The demons were rocking back and forth on their feet, licking their lips, waiting for a command from their master. The dark mass of Lord Ahriman was condensing, looking more than ever like the shape of a solid man. Much as I would love to stay and catch up with you, princess, it said, I must take my leave. The shadow inclined its head respectfully towards Usagi. She looked back at it, her lips pursed together. Her cool collectedness made Jenny's head spin. She felt even dizzier when the dark head swung around to face her.
I will see you again, it said, almost gently. I'm sorry. This wasn't how I had planned tonight. Before Jenny had a chance to do more than blink, it bent slightly and then leapt upwards into the gaping hole in the air. With a final flash of light, the rip in the sky closed and disappeared.
The demons, however, did not.
"What is this?" Brenna asked nervously, eyeing the misshapen figures that were cackling and starting to inch forward. Alyson kept up a steady chorus of, "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God…"
"It's okay," Kelly said, getting to her feet. She was addressing Usagi. "It's time they all knew."
Usagi nodded. She cast a cautious look at the demons that were creeping towards her and Kelly, finally released by their master. With one last nervous glance at Jenny, Usagi raised her hand to the skies. Her fuzzy bunny suit was covered in moonlight as she called out, "Moon Eternal Make-Up!"
And then everything changed. Usagi was lifted into the air. She twisted and twirled gracefully in a bright mass of light. Wings sprouted from her back. She was changing, her features blurring into someone else, someone more powerful and confident. Jenny could do nothing but stare. On any other night she would have thought it was a joke. She couldn't have believed it was possible, except that she was watching the transformation of her roommate with her own eyes.
Usagi was Sailormoon.
Jenny gulped and air rushed back into her chest. She turned towards Nick in bewilderment, saying, "It's her. Usagi's…"
Nick looked tired. "Yeah," he said. He got to his feet, pulling Jenny with him. There wasn't a hint of surprise in his expression.
"You knew?" she blurted.
Nick shrugged. "Long story. But yeah, I knew."
Unsettled, Jenny turned back to an Usagi she barely knew, a girl who fearlessly stood up to an army of twelve demons without flinching. Brenna and Alyson, crouching behind Mamoru, looked equally in awe. Once her transformation was complete, Eternal Sailormoon rushed over to stand in front of Jenny and Nick, her back to them. Her wings spread around them protectively, but it wasn't enough. The demons were advancing.
"Kelly-san, Mamo-chan, help me!" Eternal Sailormoon cried out desperately.
Without delay, Kelly raised her hand into the air. "Power of Anteros, transform me!" she called. The silver ring with the yellow stone that she always wore flashed, and before long she had transformed into a warrior like Sailormoon with a yellow uniform and black bows. Her eyes shone brilliantly as the green streaks in her hair faded away into shimmering darkness. Jenny, who had thought nothing else that night could surprise her, dug her nails into Nick's arm. Kelly was the warrior in the yellow suit who had saved her twice before. Kelly!
While she had been watching Kelly, Mamoru had transformed. Jenny recognized him as the man in the cape and top hat who had been with Sailormoon the last time. With a sweep of his cape, he went to stand beside Sailormoon, a red rose poised and ready in his fingers. As if they had been waiting for that moment, the demons lunged at them. Nick pulled Jenny backwards out of the way of the fight until they hit the metal fence. She did nothing to resist. She felt numb, a spectator. In no way a part of the action.
"Oh, God!" Alyson cried out again as she tried to flatten herself against the wall.
"Don't think you're getting out of this," Kelly scolded. She ducked out of the way of an advancing demon that thrust out a long hand like a vine and attempted to seize her. She tossed a small metal object at Alyson that bounced off her forehead and clattered against the ground. "Here, Bren, catch!" she also called to the red-head and tossed another one before thrusting herself back into the fight. Alyson didn't move, but Brenna reached out and caught hers. When she opened her hand, a ring similar to Kelly's was on her palm, except that hers had an orange gem.
"Who are you?" Brenna asked. She sounded confused, but not scared.
"Sailoranteros. Put your ring on. You too, Aly. You're part of the team."
"Team? Oh, hell no," Alyson muttered. She glared down at her ring as if daring it to disappear. Brenna slipped hers on without question. After a pause and another moan, Alyson gulped and repeated the gesture.
"Now what?" Brenna asked.
"You'll know. Just hurry." Sailoranteros stretched her arms towards the demon with the vine-like hands, and blue-green electricity shot from her palms. The electricity wrapped around the demon like rope, and the demon shrieked as it tried to get away.
Brenna's eyes flashed with determined green fire. Slowly, she lifted her hand into the air. "Power of Hestia," she started hesitantly, but then took a deep breath and straightened, her voice coming out loud and clear. "Transform me!"
Ribbons of golden fire wrapped around her body. After a flash of light, Brenna disappeared and standing in her place was another warrior wearing orange with purple ribbons. Gingerly, she brought a hand to her forehead in surprise, fingering her tiara. "Wow," she breathed. "I'm…"
"Sailorhestia," Anteros supplied roughly, and then turned her attention to a demon that was trying to wrap scaly brown tentacles around her throat. "Powerstorm Flash!" she cried out, and the demon collapsed into dust. She looked back at Hestia with a scowl.
"Admire yourself later. Just do something. Alyson, what are you waiting for?"
Alyson was more hesitant than her Irish friend, but she finally lifted her trembling hand into the air and called out, "Power of Pandia, transform me!" Her transformation was more graceful than Brenna's had been. She floated around in a dreamy violet haze as her uniform appeared. With a final post, she appeared as the final warrior, clad in purple with dark blue bows.
Jenny turned to Nick. "Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked flatly.
A smile briefly lit his face. "I wish. I'm the only normal one here, kid."
"Sailorpandia!" Hestia called to her friend with a bright smile when she saw the completed transformation. Sailorpandia looked at her, not in the least pleased.
"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"
"Questions later," Anteros snapped in a hard voice. Her tone shut Pandia up, who turned towards one of the uglier demons, grimacing all the while.
"Ew," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Is this thing real?" The demon that was limping near her was hunched over, and it's yellow-green skin was covered with what looked like yellow pus.
"Pandia, shut up!" Hestia cried in an irritated voice. She faced a green demon and yelled, "Spark of Death!" She flicked her wrist, sending out a golden spark that gathered into a fireball as it raced through the air towards the demon. The creature caught on fire and exploded with a scream of frustration.
"Hey, not bad," Hestia said happily. She tossed her red hair over her shoulder triumphantly as she turned to Pandia.
"Your turn, love," she said sweetly, her voice mocking.
Pandia's violet eyes flashed, taking her friend's words as a challenge. "Oh fine, I will," she said grumpily. She faced the demon with the melting yellow skin and cried, "Night Terror Shock!" A blast of smoke burst from her that caused the demon to spin around in a rapid circle before it exploded. Sailorpandia grimaced, leaping deftly out of the way as bits of it splattered against the building where she had been standing.
"Ew," she said again, and then looked over at Jenny. "Enjoying the show?"
"Aly, behind you!" Jenny shrieked as another demon started rushing toward her.
"Don't call me Alyson. I'm Sailorpandia now," Pandia said harshly as she whirled around and took care of the unfortunate creature. When it had disappeared, she turned back and glared at Jenny. "Do you have to broadcast to the entire world who I am?"
Jenny started at her for a second, and then began to laugh. Her chest felt numb, but the laughter wouldn't stop. She felt Nick's fingers tighten around her upper arms, but she wasn't able to stop giggling as she gasped in breath. The scene was a circus, all of it. Any minute now, someone was going to start doing back flips.
Pandia stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "Watch it, or I'm coming after you next," she warned amiably, and then blasted another demon with her Night Terror Shock. Jenny leaned back against Nick, her body shaking from laughter as much as shock. Nick was supporting her weight more than her own legs. She felt weak and light as air. Nothing was real.
The battle lasted less than three minutes after that. The demons were hardly a match for the five they fought against. Even they seemed to realize it: their attempt at destruction was half-hearted at best. As the last demon was destroyed by Sailormoon, the five warriors stopped and panted for breath, looking around at one another warily while Jenny's giggles died in the background.
"I suppose we need to have a discussion," Sailoranteros finally said. She didn't sound pleased about it.
The only answer to that was a renewed bout of laughter from Jenny.
0 0 0
"No. That isn't mine," Jenny said firmly.
The ring was lying on the floor where Surya had deposited it in front of her. It was a small delicate thing, beautiful as it twinkled in the artificial light of the temple. The ring had an aura of great power; it seemed to disturb the air around it with little pulses of energy. The silver was exquisitely crafted to look like it was covered with waves of twisting fire. The gem was about the same shade of red as a ruby, but more translucent. It sparkled with hints of all the colors of the rainbow where its facets hit the light.
Firestones, she heard Lord Ahriman's voice in her mind again. They were colored like rubies but sparkled like diamonds… made for you alone…
All in all, Jenny thought that she had been a good sport about everything. She had listened quietly while Kelly, with occasional contributions from Kai and Alexei, had explained about Lord Ahriman and her past life. She hadn't flipped out when she learned that Cat was not a cat at all, but rather a cercaphor from outer space named Surya. She had calmly accepted the knowledge that she had been tailed and discussed by everyone in the room for weeks, and that they intended to keep doing so, with or without her consent. She had even taken the news that she and Usagi shared past life DNA with more composure than anyone could have expected.
But this was going too far.
"It's not mine," Jenny insisted. She didn't make a move to touch the ring, even though she knew from the looks she was getting that everyone expected her to. The senshi were gathered together in Rei's temple, lounging against the walls or kneeling around the large table in the center of the room. They were staring at her with various levels of pity or exasperation for her inability to accept what the rest of them already had. Nick sat quietly in the furthest corner of the room, looking at the ground as he listened. He hadn't moved or made a sound since they arrived. He had insisted on being present, despite Mamoru's early attempts to persuade him to wait back at their apartment. Occasionally he looked over at Jenny, but she avoided meeting his eyes.
Jenny was sitting on a mat, nestled in a blanket. Her fingers were wrapped around a cup of warm tea that Rei had thrust into her hands, but she had yet to drink any of it. Earlier, while the group had been focused on Brenna and Alyson's excited questions, Jenny had stared at her reflection in the liquid. It was her face, the same one she had known for almost seventeen years. Her eyes, the curve of her nose, her chin… all familiar. It was something inside that was different. Something dark and powerful that replayed in her mind, a movie of another time, another life. Something compelling that at once made her feel wistful and terrified.
"He's after me," she said quietly. "I get that now. I saw it tonight, and I can accept it. But I can't do what all of you do. I know I can't."
"Score one for the girl. She gets a prize," Surya agreed. He settled onto his back legs and started delicately licking his front right paw as Jenny blinked at him with surprise. When he finished licking his fur to perfection, he turned his sharp eyes on her.
"You could sit there all night and yell out the words for transformation, and it wouldn't make a difference. You have the potential. You were born with it, but you can't use it. You won't be able to use your power until your heart has decided which side you shall fight on."
Jenny winced. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not a fighter. I never have been. I tried tae kwon do once, and it was a disaster. I have no coordination at all."
"You must," Surya insisted, his eyes glowing crossly at his mistress. "It is your duty. Either you stay and fight with us, or betray your sister."
Jenny carefully avoided meeting Usagi's eyes. She had purposely made little reaction when Surya had told her that she and Usagi shared a father in their past life. Inside she was much more shaken than her outward composure let on. The word 'sister' resonated oddly within her. In a way it made sense. Usagi certainly irritated her as much as her sister Kristin did. It explained the protectiveness she knew Usagi felt for her, and the way she felt safe with Usagi, instinctively knowing that she could trust her with anything. From the moment she met her, some part of Jenny had felt the thread of fate connecting them.
Usagi smiled at her tentatively when Jenny glanced at her, but Jenny quickly looked away. She was starting to get a tension headache. "So it's going to be between family and love. Oh, fantastic. I knew when I woke up this morning that it was going to be one of those days."
"No, sweetie, nothing that dramatic. He was in love with you, but you never returned his feelings," Alexei said soothingly. Jenny opened her mouth and then shut it. She looked at Minako and Alexei's intertwined hands, and then shook her head.
"But…no, that's not right. He showed me. I felt…"
"You felt? What did he do to you?" Rei demanded.
Jenny was very confused. Her cheeks felt flushed. "He showed me…things. It's not like I really remember anything from back then. Just flashes. It was like a movie trailer of the two of us. Together." The last word seemed to hang in the air, pregnant with meaning. The heat on her face deepened. She knew Nick was watching her, but she couldn't look at him. Avoiding everyone's eyes, she stuck a finger in her tea and swirled it around. She pretended to be deeply interested in the result.
"Lies," Kelly said harshly. "Trust me on this, you never would have let him touch you. Whatever he showed you, it was a lie."
"It wasn't a lie," Jenny said quietly. She looked up and met Kelly's eyes seriously. Everything she had learned that night had flipped her world upside down. The one thing she knew for certain was that what she had seen was real. What she had felt was real. The memories were shadowy, unclear as half-remembered dreams, but still a part of her. She couldn't deny the truth of them.
"It was. I'll prove it to you," Kelly said fiercely. "Let me take a look." She crawled forward on the floor until she was next to Jenny, and grabbed her hand. The instant her skin touched Jenny's, Jenny experienced a rush of memory flashes back into her mind. There they were, sitting on a fence together, the light of the sky golden and warm above them…chasing each other through a garden with purple, red, and golden blossoms surrounding them, bigger than her head…kissing in the shadow of a marble pillar as a sea of couples twisted and twirled in a crystal ballroom…lying in each other's arms in bed, peaceful and exhausted after—
Kelly dropped Jenny's hand so abruptly that it fell and knocked against the floor with a stinging thud. She said something in Spanish that sounded extremely rude. Her face was white, and her expression was furious.
"You mean it wasn't real?" Jenny asked as she rubbed her hand. Her heart sank. She knew there was no reason to be disappointed, because 'in love with a monster' was really not something that she wanted to add to her list of faults. But she was.
"No, she saw it was true, only it wasn't Lord Ahriman you were with," Surya said shrewdly. "Tell us, when you were with him tonight, how did he make you feel?"
"I…" Jenny looked around at the captive crowd watching her, still blushing. "He…he scared me."
"But did you feel anything else? Like what you remember in your flashes?"
Jenny was silent for a long moment before she said, "No." Kelly reached out and touched her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.
Surya nodded. "There, like I said. I don't doubt that what you saw was real. It just wasn't him. Clever, though, trying to make you think it was. He couldn't have known we'd shoot his deception down so fast."
"Who was it then?" Jenny demanded. She felt strangely feverish. Ever since Lord Ahriman had awakened those memories, something had changed inside her. It was as if she had been two people, split down the center, but now she was sewn together whole. It consumed her, a longing so intense she was surprised she hadn't noticed it before, buried in her subconscious. If it wasn't for the feeling, she wouldn't have believed anything they told her, despite being stalked for weeks. But because she had seen what he had shown her, had felt the alien flood of emotions for something she had never experienced in her own lifetime, it was all real. Including the painful knowledge that what she had seen was lost to her forever. Something terrible had happened to end that happy time. She could feel it.
"Who was he?" she repeated. "I have to know."
"You know," Surya said, his red jewel eyes glittering at her. Kelly let out her breath in an angry huff. Her hand tightened on Jenny's shoulder. Jenny stared at Surya, her eyes questioning.
"You know him," Surya repeated. "He–"
"Honestly, is this necessary?" Kelly interjected. "Let the past die. He didn't make her happy back then. All he ever brought her was misery. Why should anything change now?"
"You knew all this, and you never told me," Jenny said, swinging on Kelly angrily. "It has to do with me. Shouldn't I be the one to decide what I can and can't know?" Kelly's mouth had been open, but she closed it with a snap. She looked taken aback and hurt.
"She was trying to protect you," Mamoru said reasonably. "We all were."
Jenny turned towards him and her eyes landed on Usagi. "And you–"
"I wanted to tell you, Jen-chan. Honestly, I did," Usagi said tearfully. "But we thought it would be easier if you and Nick didn't know."
"Nick?" Ice traveled through Jenny's veins, concentrating in the area of her chest. Her skin thrummed with caution as Usagi clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "What does he…?" She trailed off and glanced over to the far corner of the room, where Nick had sat unmoving since they arrived. He sat cross-legged, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. His hands were pressed together in a temple, and his chin rested lightly on his fingers. His eyes lifted at the mention of his name, curiously landing on Usagi before flicking to Jenny.
The second their eyes met, Jenny looked away. She turned back to narrow her eyes at Usagi, who was looking pleadingly at Surya. Surya, in turn, turned his solemn red eyes to Jenny. "You know," he said again, simply. "He's–"
"No," Jenny interrupted.
"Jenny…"
"Don't say it!" She found herself on her feet, trembling. She threw off Kelly's attempts to grab her arms.
"You can't ask for the truth and then decide not to hear it," Surya scolded, as if reprimanding a spoiled child.
"I don't care!" Jenny yelled. Brenna and Alyson were watching her with open mouths. She couldn't stand to see them looking at her, so she turned her back on them, nearly tripping over her cup of tea. Kelly stood up beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. Jenny was shaking too much by this time to attempt breaking away.
What was rendering Jenny incapable of speech was clearly not affecting Nick. "Wait a minute, stop. Are you saying it was me? I was a part of this? How long have you known? How did you know?" He didn't sound angry, but wondering.
Mamoru sounded tired when he answered. "Usako and I saw the two of you together last summer, in the series of ancient paintings in the new exhibit in the art museum. Only we didn't know it was Jenny-san at the time. We hadn't met her yet."
"Even after we did, we didn't know. We didn't know until tonight, when we saw her hair," Usagi added. Her voice sounded watery and scratchy; she was crying.
"Jenny…" Nick said. She heard a light scraping as he got to his feet. She immediately tensed, drawing her shoulders together.
"One move, boy, and you'll no longer have a pair," Kelly said shortly, glaring over her shoulder.
"Let's all be rational. We don't need to antagonize anyone," Ami said nervously.
"Maybe we should let them be alone. You know, to talk things over," Makoto suggested.
"Yeah, I totally wouldn't be dealing right now if it was me," Rei added.
"But shouldn't we get back to talking about the war? I don't think she really understands the decision she's going to have to make," Ami said.
"Stop it," Jenny said.
"You might want to also fill in loverboy over there about his past. Is there something special about him? Should we be protecting him too?"
"Why don't we try to get Jenny to transform? I know Surya said it wouldn't work, but maybe he's wrong. She could at least try. Now that she knows everything, she's got to fight for us."
"Now that she's got her boyfriend back, sure."
"Please, stop," Jenny said.
"At least she doesn't have to go around pining for Lord A now. Yuck."
"Ooh, Nick's blushing. Look!"
"I think we should leave them alone."
"Yeah, you can't fight this kind of thing. We should know."
"Enough! Stop it. Just shut up!" Jenny cried unhappily, spinning around. Her cheeks were like red fire as she glared at them all. "I'm tired of people telling me what I should do. You don't know me. You can't assume to know what I feel. Like how you think you can tell me I have a destiny to save or destroy the universe, and I'll just cheerfully go along with whatever you say, because hey, it's meant to be. Or how you think you can stick me in a room with Nick, and we'll start planning a wedding together. Do you even know? I've hated him for most of my life. If we're meant to be together, why do I feel like killing him seventy percent of the time?"
There was a decisive flame in her eyes that no one was used to seeing, and it shocked the group into silence. Encouraged by their stunned expressions, Jenny continued. "I'm not you little princess of Athena anymore, or whoever you think I am. I want no part of it. Tell the cosmos 'no' for me, because I quit!"
"Listen, Jenny, no one is saying you have to decide right away," Artemis said anxiously.
"We just want you to understand your options," Luna added. "Whatever you decide, we'll be here to protect you."
"I don't need your protection. Get off me," Jenny snapped. She shook Kelly's hands off her shoulders for the final time, and knelt to pick up her bent halo that was lying on the ground beside her teacup. She slammed it unceremoniously back onto her head.
"You have it anyway," Usagi said. Jenny paused in the act of rising and looked at her. She was caught by the fierce expression in Usagi's eyes. For a moment they looked at each other, and Jenny was overcome with a desire to run to her. She wanted nothing more than to go home with Usagi, sit together in their room, and talk. So much was racing through her head, about Lord Ahriman, about her supposed destiny, about Nick… She didn't need a room full of half-strangers telling her what to do. She needed a sister's advice.
Jenny turned her head and got to her feet. When she spun around, she addressed everyone in the room. "It's been fun. It really has, this whole evening. But I'm done." She hurried outside the room before anyone had a chance to speak.
While she was kneeling outside the door trying to fasten her white sandaled high heels with trembling hands, she heard Alyson say, "Um, shouldn't someone stop her?"
"Let her go," Surya said calmly. "She'll be safe tonight. If he really wanted to take her today, he would have. That's not what he was after."
They continued speaking, murmured conversation. Jenny rose to her feet and hurried outside down the front steps of the temple. She didn't want to hear anymore. She shivered as she stepped out into the night. The warm, humid evening had broken into a cool shower, with rain more like mist than droplets of water. She wrapped her arms around herself and kept her head down as she walked, stepping around pools of water that had formed.
"Jenny. Hey, Jen. Wait!"
Jenny stopped walking and shut her eyes briefly before turning around. Nick was running towards her, splashing through puddles. She stared at him as he slid to a stop before her. He looked her over, his eyes taking in her hair, damp against her shoulders, and her shivering. His eyes were concerned. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Oh, you know. Moonlit stroll, always cheers a girl up," she said, her tone acerbic. Droplets from her water-soaked hair were dripping down her face like tears.
Nick wasn't remotely amused. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know. Away from here. Away from you. I was kind of planning on being nowhere near you tonight. It doesn't work if you follow me."
"I just want to make sure you get home safely. Come back into the temple with me. We'll borrow an umbrella from Rei, and I'll walk with you."
Jenny jerked away from him when he reached out a hand. "God, what is it with you?" she demanded, laughing dryly as her teeth chattered. "Someone throws the past life card at you, and suddenly you want to be my knight in shining armor?"
"You think this is sudden?" Nick said disbelievingly. "This has nothing to do with what they said."
"It's because we're such great friends, right?"
Nick looked pained. "Okay, I deserved that. But I do need to talk to you. About what they said. About you and me."
"There is no 'you and me,' Nick."
"You may not want to admit it, but I know there is something between us."
"Yes, there is. Loathing. Disgust. Hatred."
"Maybe for you. Not me. I care about you."
"Oh, please. What is this, a Hallmark movie?" she asked harshly, trying her best to sound cynical and callous.
"I do care about you. I always have. Come on, Jen. Please. Just talk to me."
They were wandering onto dangerous territory. Jenny's shaking had little to do with the cold anymore. Nick reached out and placed a gentle hand on her arm, providing light pressure without pulling. His palm was warm. Everything in Jenny's body was telling her to lean in to him, and it terrified her. She took a hasty step away from him.
"You care about me? Right. Did you figure this out before or after you were making out with Dalila tonight?" Nick had been reaching for her again, but at that, his hand dropped back to his side. His expression was frozen. Jenny laughed harshly, though she felt no pleasure from it. She took another step backwards.
"You know, Nick, you can save your rationalizations and your hero complex for someone else. I'm really not interested."
Fearing the opportunity of letting him speak again, she ran.
0 0 0
The gate swung open with a loud creak that echoed against the stone walls surrounding the property. Jenny lifted a trembling hand in thanks to the night guard who had let her in. She was shaking so much from the cold and the weight of her thoughts that her shoulders moved uncontrollably in little jerks. Her hands gripping her arms and hugging them against her chest did little to warm her. Her feet moved mechanically down the path. The rain had soaked her dress so thoroughly that it was as if she had just risen from a river. At first light and cooling, the rain had steadily worsened into a full downpour as she wandered the streets.
She had no idea how much time had passed since she had left the temple, but it had to be well past midnight. It could have been minutes or hours that she walked the streets in a partial dream state. She hadn't known where she was going until she saw the iron gates of Max's mansion, and his concerned night watchman came out of his booth to ask her if she needed help. He had phoned Max from his booth, and then opened the gates for her. Jenny walked down the path to the front door numbly, hardly aware of what she was doing, or why.
The door was flung open just before she reached it. Max stood in the doorway, a black velvet bathrobe covering his red silk pajamas. "Jenny," he said, sounding surprised. He stepped aside, ushering her in. His eyes were wide as he looked her over, confused and anxious.
"What's wrong? What happened to you?" he demanded. Jenny started to feel self-conscious as he shut the door behind her. She was very aware of the fact that she was dripping water onto his marble floor, and that her waterlogged white dress was plastered to her skin, more translucent than she would have liked. Max's expression was concerned but also somewhat guarded. And why not? Surely he thought she was a freak, a wet water rat, showing up unannounced in the middle of the night in such disarray.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't be here," she said in a rush, looking at the floor. She couldn't meet his eyes.
"Nonsense, you're always welcome."
"It's just been such a weird night, you know? And I couldn't go home. I have nowhere else to go."
Jenny saw movement out of the corner of her eye as Sera entered the front hall. She was wearing a slinky blue nightgown, and she stopped dead when she saw Jenny. Her mouth fell open as she glanced between the soaked and shivering Jenny and her employer. Without turning his head, Max said, "Sera, please get a towel and a change of clothes for our guest."
When Sera stared at Jenny and didn't move, Max said in a harsher tone, "Sera, a towel. Now." Sera shut her mouth with a snap. Her expression was thoughtful as she looked at her boss. Without a word to either of them, she turned and swept out of the room. Jenny felt the heavy silence when Sera had gone, broken only by the mechanical ticking of an antique grandfather clock in a parlor directly off the front hall. Max was looking at her as if he did not know what to make of her sudden appearance. Jenny gave him a wince and a brief shrug that prompted another bout of shaking.
"I don't know why I'm here. I just needed something normal, you know? Somebody to be nice to me for five minutes. You make me feel normal. Like when I'm drawing you. It makes me feel safe…I'm so sorry. You probably think I'm this insane girl on your doorstep. I'll go if you want me to. You don't need to feel obligated or anything," Jenny babbled. Her teeth chattered as she spoke. With an anguished look, Max shrugged out of his bathrobe and wrapped it around her shoulders. Jenny ducked her head as she hugged it around herself. His body heat still lingered in the fabric. It smelled like him, a mixture of expensive cologne and soaps, whiskey, burning wood, and the cracking sky after an electric storm.
"I would never turn you away," Max said heartily. He bent and kissed the top of her head, before putting his arms around her and pulling her gently against his chest. The last thin bands that were keeping Jenny in control broke. She collapsed against him, sobbing. She cried for the loss of innocence, the loss of a mediocre life, the loss of her freedom. She cried for the girl she had always been who was now gone, and for the things she wanted but could never allow herself to have. She cried simply to rid herself of all emotion in one torrent, so that she could be left empty and unfeeling, a shell.
Max held her silently through all of it, gently rubbing her back and shoulders. He held her until her tears dried up, and after. "I will always be here for you," he said as she leaned against him, her eyes wet and staring. "Anything you need, you have but to ask. I want to help you. You can trust me."
Jenny did trust him, with her life. At that moment, she would have done anything for him. If assassins burst through the door, she would have flung herself in front of the bullets to save him. He was her hero.
"Now, let's see," he said thoughtfully as she lifted her head to look up at him gratefully. "I think a couple cups of hot cocoa are in order. If I'm not mistaken, you left a few sticks of graphite upstairs. I think we can rustle up some paper for you after Sera gets you into some dry clothes. Care to take on an old man's puffy eyes tonight?"
Smiling and holding hands, they ascended the stairs together.