Falling into Hell Chapter 10: I Know How You Feel, a glee fanfic

A/N. First three hours of my Art practical exam are done. Only seven to go...

Kurt's POV

I couldn't stop my tears falling. My Glee Club always sang to those who were struggling but they hadn't needed to do it for me. I never thought about how much it could really touch that person, and now being on the receiving end, I see how it helped them. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I really aren't, it's just this is not what I need right now. The songs fit together perfectly, each person's voice conveying deep layers of emotion and making promises to be here for me, but the song seemed to have the opposite of the desired effect as it made me feel more alone. I know I was probably wallowing in my own pity, but they had never been attacked like I was. They're stood there, singing about how I can always come to them if I need to talk, but how could they cope with the truth? I was sure my parents and Blaine know what happened to me as I vaguely remember being examined, but I wasn't ready to talk about it to them let alone over ten other people. As the tears fell, I thought about the differences I was already seeing in myself. I no longer wanted to be 'out and proud'. I mean, what was the point? It just got you more throws in the dumpster and hits in the face. I was already feeling scared about going home; about going to school; about walking into...No, don't go there Kurt, I thought to myself firmly. I didn't know what I was going to do about school, but I knew I couldn't go back to Mickenly. Even if he wasn't there, his friends would be. I would also have to walk put that hidden street every day. That's another thing; I never used to be terrified of the bullies. Sure, they scared me, but I didn't feel like I had to be hyperaware of their every move. And then there was the way I felt about myself. I always made sure to stay confident and proud of myself. Now, all I wanted to do is curl up in a ball and stay there forever. I was disgusting and worthless.

The song had come to an end. I didn't want to seem unappreciative so I whispered a small thanks. Nurses and patients were clapping. The song had been beautiful and I only hated myself more for being so selfish. They had put in so much thought to this song and I didn't like it. I was a horrible, horrible person.

Blaine caught my eyes. It's like he could read my thoughts as he instantly picked up on my mood. How did he do that? I didn't deserve him.

"I was going to wait until my sister brought my guitar down, but if Puck or Artie will let me borrow theirs, can I sing you something?" Blaine's eyes were almost pleading. My breath caught; he wanted to sing to me.

"Ye...yes." I stuttered.

This wasn't happening. Why would someone so perfect want to sing to me? Why is he even here? I was too scared to ask these questions aloud in fear that he would leave. I watched him collect Puck's guitar and I tensed in anticipation.

Blaine's POV

I could see it in his eyes. Kurt was going to distance himself from everyone he loved. I couldn't let him do that, he was far too precious to lose. I knew what I had to do. I had to show him he has me to lean on and that I can understand what he's going through. I wanted to be the strong one for us; it just turns out I'm going to have to show weakness to do that or he will never let me in. I knew the perfect song to sing. It had been floating around my head since Carole suggested I should sing to him again. Last time he had been asleep, this time he was going to hear. The thought petrified me, but I had to do it. He didn't need to know every little detail about my past yet, he had enough on his plate with his own, I just needed to tell him that something had happened and I can help him through it.

Kurt looked at me utterly shocked. It was now or never. I got up and the New Directions dispersed to the sides of Kurt's bed like an audience. Puck handed me his guitar and I ran the strings through my fingers to familiarise myself with the foreign strings.

I felt eyes on my back and I realised the staff and patients were still at the door. Now was not the time to get shy so I looked intently at Kurt and readied myself to start playing.

Kurt's POV

I watched him visibly collect himself by taking in a deep breath and he caught my eyes with a hypnotizing stare. He was telling me to listen to the lyrics.

His hands flew over the strings. It sounded like more than one guitar was playing.

Can't sleep, 'cause everything's changing,
you don't want to leave things behind.
Can't breathe, 'cause too many things going on, going wrong in your life.

His voice was perfect for the song. His soft emotion-full tone filled the room and everyone was quiet, listening to the lyrics like me. The last line was exactly right. If I thought about it too much I would be overcome and be unable to inhale correctly.

Tears in your eyes,
Sweet goodbyes.
I know how you feel right now,
Losing dreams you've come to care about,
I know what you need right now,
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight,
Get you through the night.
I'll get you through the night.

Wait. Did he say he knows how I feel? It could be just one line in the lyrics that didn't fit but Blaine's gaze was even more piercing on them words it made me think it was no mistake. Does that mean something like this had happened to him too?

The lines were so true it had an effect on me and I wasn't sure what it was. I had been crying and I had lost dreams. They'd been replaced with nightmares and all I wanted was for Blaine to hold me. How did he know to say exactly what I needed to hear?

Wake up, the sun's shining bright,

Let's go out of bed into the light.
Shape up, we won't forget,

Still there's lots of love left to hold tight.

He's telling me to rise above this, to make myself get through it. Maybe with him, I could. It's true, I won't forget, but he's saying I can still somehow get through this.

Tears were falling from my eyes again now; some from pain, but also from love and compassion for the boy singing his heart out in front of me. Blaine's eyes never wavered from my gaze, it only intensified. Each line hit me and the wall I had started putting up seemed to crumble down into dust.

Everything I love between us, will get us through the night.
All the things we lost will teach us, see the pretty things in life.
All the places that we've been to,
the people we relate to,
all the love that we give in to,

I could see tears form in his eyes ready to drop. With a quick glance around the room it seemed everyone was in or near tears, even Santana and Puck.

Blow the tears from our eyes,
Sweet goodbyes.
I know how you feel right now,
Losing dreams you've come to care about,
I know what you need right now,
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight.
I know how you feel right now,
Losing dreams you've come to care about,
I know what you need right now,
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight,
I'll get you through the night.

He finished the song and came directly over to me, bringing me into a tight, loving hug. Maybe it would take time for me to come to terms with things, and maybe it won't be the easiest time, but I'll have Blaine. And right now, I couldn't think of anything better.

A/N. Short, but I thought I'd give you a little bit more from Kurt's side and get Blaine to sing him a lovely song.

The song is 'Sweet Goodbyes' by Kreznip and I strongly advise you to listen to it, it's beautiful.

I know you must be getting bored by all the thank yous I'm giving for all the reviews, story alerts and favourites I'm getting so I'm just going to say it really quickly,

THANKYOU!