Chapter Ten: Regrets
Ziva awoke to the feel of the early morning's crisp air, blowing into the bedroom. She was reluctant to let her eyes open but she opened them anyway. The first thing she saw was Tony's forest of chest hair. She blinked a few times and she realized she had fallen asleep on top of Tony's muscular frame. She climbed off of him and landed on the other side of the bed. The rose petals were scattered all over the place. There were some on the bed, the floor and one had managed to get entangled in her brunette locks. When she discovered this she laughed silently and slowly pulled it out. She kept holding it, allowing her thumb and first two fingers to feel the beautiful petal which had become trapped within her hair. She bent her legs out in front of her and set the petal down before picking up an entire handful of them. She then allowed them to slowly fall back down on the bed. She shook her head and rested it on her knees.
Last night had been the craziest night of her life, and she has had some crazy nights. But never before did she think she'd get drunk and have sex with Tony. She squinted her eyes as a headache swarmed over her. She could feel her naked body beneath the sheets and felt absolutely stupid for allowing that to happen. She then thought about what he had said. I love you, Ziva. She rolled her eyes and looked over at the balcony. She analyzed the light blue sky that the morning offered. She then turned attention to the sleeping man beside her. He certainly had lived up to his pledge name. It was around ten o'clock when they had started making love and it wasn't until one in the morning when they stopped. In all of the six weeks they had been having sex that was the longest they had ever gone. She felt insane.
Why the Hell didn't I say anything? She asked herself as she allowed her slender frame to fall back onto the bed beneath her. God, I am so stupid!
Just then she heard Tony let out a slight groan as he stirred from his seemingly restful sleep.
"Ziva?" He asked, reaching over to her.
"I'm here." She said, taking hold of his hand.
He seemed aesthetically pleased by this for he smiled and opened his emerald green eyes. He rolled over onto his left side and pulled her frame into his. He planted a tender kiss onto her supple lips and couldn't help but feel ecstatic.
"I love you, Zi." He said.
"I know." She replied, fiddling with her lover's chest hair. "I, uh, I love you, too."
She instantly regretted telling him this. She didn't love him…not the way he loved her. She had lied to him and for that she felt immensely guilty.
"Really," He asked. "Do you mean that?"
She took a deep breath and nodded. The longer she let this go on the guiltier she felt.
"Good." He said, caressing her soft cheek.
They laid there in complete silence for several moments until Tony spoke again.
"Would you like some breakfast?" He asked.
"I am not hungry." She said in a soft voice. "I need to get going. I will…see you at work, I guess."
She stood from the bed, grabbing her dress from the floor. She quickly put it on along with her heels and jacket. She didn't bother to grab her silver hair clip. She left the apartment and went to the staircase. She slowly went down the stairs, still not used to rocking heels while traversing the stairs to Tony's apartment. When she got to the lobby Logan instantly stopped her.
"Ziva!" He exclaimed.
Ziva's head instantly turned at the sound of her name being said.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes, who are you?" She asked, a look of confusion coming to her face.
"I am Logan Kinkade. I am the door man."
"I can see that. Why were you asking me if I am okay?"
"I know you are with Tony and I am aware of his…reputation." He told her, coming out from behind his desk.
"Look, I have known that man for almost seven years, Logan! He will not take advantage of me, if that's what you are getting at."
Slightly steamed the Israeli stormed out of the complex and realized that Tony had driven her here. She would need a ride. Meanwhile, Tony was going slowly down the stairs, knowing all too well she'd need a ride. When Ziva turned around she saw Tony exit the complex.
"Need a ride?" He asked, holding up his keys.
She let out a sigh and nodded, clenching her jaw as Tony led her to the car. They got in and Tony began to drive her the forty blocks to her apartment. There was an uncomfortable tension between the pair during the entire car ride. Ziva kept as close to the car door as she could without letting Tony in on the fact that she didn't want to be around him right now. She just hoped things wouldn't become too awkward between them. When he got her home, Tony leaned over and kissed her cheek. She smirked slightly and got out of the car.
"Do you need a ride to work?" He asked through the open car window.
"No, go on home. I will be fine." She said.
She stood on the sidewalk and watched as Tony drove away. She waved and walked to the small set of stairs which led to her front door. She walked up the steps and opened the green door separating the outside world from her humble abode. She walked in, shut the door, and leant up against it. Sliding down it, she began to regret last night more and more.