(Note: This story might have some grammar mistakes. I don't care if you sent bad comments, think its not good, or should be deleted, erased, or wiped off the internet. This took me a lot of time to find the simplest information of there child hood, teenage hood, college hood, whatever in the episodes.")
"Hello, my name is Bill Honley." Bill said as he stared at the camera. "I am a documentary film maker who is about to show you the life of children of South Park in the past and what has happened to them as they grow up. We will start with little Randy Marsh."
Randy Marsh Age 8
The camera was facing towards at a young boy with black hair, a coat, jeans in the middle of a snowy playground.
"Hello Randy." Bill Honley said. "Tell me about yourself."
"Well... I fill like what people should stop destroying nature's way and..."
"So you're a hippie?"
"What? No. I'm just normal like everyone else."
"No you aren't." Stephen Stotch said as he came. "Your just a hippie trying to waste your time by smoking and listening to hip-hop all day!"
"Oh yeah asshole." Randy said as he came to Stephen Stotch.
They started beating each other up as every child formed a crowd around them.
Randy Marsh Age 18
"I am now at South Park High, with an older Randy Marsh." Bill Honley said beside a teenage Randy Marsh. "So Randy? What have you been doing these days?"
"Well, it's great Bill. I just got a deal with a record producer to be in a boy band." Randy said.
"Wouldn't that mean leaving your parents, high school diploma, and even your girlfriend?"
"Yep. I'm going to miss them. I think I can still go to college though." Randy said as he left.
"Humph. It seems that teenage Randy has joined a boy band, but he's probably going to be fired after an year or two. That's how boy bands work these days. That miserable bastard."
Stephen Stotch Age 8
The camera was facing towards a little boy with a brown hair, blue coat and jeans sitting at his desk in the 4th grade classroom.
"In this playground is little Stephen Stotch, age 8. He is known to be a rude kid to both children, teachers, and the public. Always pulling pranks on the teachers, and sneaking drugs on the way to school. Let's watch and see what happens."
Mr. Mephesto came as a young man with brown hair entered the 4th grade class room and saw a bunch of children in their seats as well as the camera man, and Bill Honley.
"Okay, I am your teacher, Dr. Alphonse Mephesto. You can just address me as Mephesto if you want." Dr. Mephesto said. "Any questions?"
"Yeah! I got one." Stephen said as he raised up his hand with a grin.
"What is it... Stephen was it?" Dr. Mephesto said.
"I think I dropped something under your desk."
"Oh, okay. I'll take a look."
Dr. Mephesto looked under the desk and saw something round. It was a stink bomb.
"Shit!" Dr. Mephesto said as he the stink bomb exploded onto his face.
"STEPHEN!" Dr. Mephesto yelled.
The camera was now facing towards to Bill Honley now as he looked at the camera.
"It seems that Stephen Stotch is a huge trouble maker. What future will this evil demon have later?" Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera with a serious look.
Stephen Stotch, age 18.
The camera moved to an teenage Stephen as he walked into the hallway with a football uniform with his friends and his girlfriend.
"We now see Stephen Stotch as a completely different person." Bill Honley said. "Stephen Stotch is more nicer, has more friends, a very good football player for the school, and even has a girlfriend named Linda. Who knows, maybe they'll even get married."
Stephen Stotch, age 24.
The camera man and Bill Honley were in Stephen's and Linda's apartment.
"Hi Stephen Stotch. How's things going for you today?" Bill asked.
"Everything is great Bill." Stephen answered with a smiled. "I'm married, paid the bills, got a good job, and I'm thinking about moving into a new house with my wife."
"I see, you have a good life. Have you ever thought about having a child in your life?"
"A child. I don't need a freaking child in my life. That could ruin everything. You won't see me having a bunch of crazy monkeys messing me around."
4 Years Later
The camera showed an older Stephen Stotch and a pregnant Linda Stotch sitting on the couch.
"You did remove the scene about how I didn't say I want kids... right?" Stephen said in worry voice.
"Stephen, you should be happy that you're going to have a child. They say it's a miracle." Bill said.
"How come you don't have a child Bill?"
"Well... um... my wife... what are you going to name your child?"
"That's a good question." Linda said. "I thought about calling it Leopold if it's a boy or Lara if it's a girl."
"Leopold? I want to call it Butters." Stephen said. "Butters sounds a bit better."
"Why would you want to call it Butters? That's just awkward."
"Stephen, I thought you didn't care about the child." Bill said with a smile.
"Dammit. I suddenly feel like I care about this child!"
Gerald Age 8
The camera showed a playground filled with many children inside.
"In this very playground, is little Gerald, age 8. One of the only few Jews in the playground." Bill said as he walks to a young boy wearing a orange coat, jeans, and a snow cap."Gerald Broflovski. What does it feel like to be one of the few Jew kids to be here?"
"Feels okay. People are nice here and..."
"Where's that Jew, Bob?" Joe asked as he walked into the playground.
"Oh shit. The bullies!" Gerald said as he ran.
"What do you know. The bullies are Joe, Bob, Feraz, and Anthony. Sons of the fear South Park Mafia."
"Hey you, British guy!" Joe yelled. "Have you seen a Jew here. He owes us money."
"Aren't you little boys cute, anyway..."
"Cute? You call this cute!" Joe said as he shot the documentary film maker with a Bebe gun in the shin.
"Ow! That hurt." Bill said.
The bullies started taking down the documentary film maker to the ground. Feraz kicked the man in the balls, Anthony and Bob started breaking his arms, while Joe punches him in the face.
Gerald Age 24
"We are now in front of Gerald's apartment, who has a wife that he would want us to meet." Bill said as he opens the door.
As he enters the apartment, he saw Gerald and a fat lady beside him.
"This is your wife? She's overweight?" Bill Honley said in surprised.
"Hey! That's my wife you're talking about." Gerald said angrily.
"Sorry. Anyway, how did you met?" Bill said.
"I met her during college. We have lots of things in common, were both Jewish, and we think what the government is doing to the children is wrong." Gerald answered.
"Have you ever considered children?" Bill said.
"That could ruin our lives!" Gerald said.
"So you don't like children?"
"We like children, we just don't want to have any."
"Strange. All the other people that I filmed in this documentary said the same thing and yet, I keep having a feeling that most of them are going to have children."
"Well, you're wrong." Gerald said.
Stuart McCormick Age 8
Bill Honley and the Cameraman were in front of Stuart's house with the camera ready.
"Stuart McCormick. A smart lad he is, always getting the girls for such an age, mysteriously dying and returning, and the best friend of Randy, Gerald, and that other rude kid, whatever his name is. Yet, still poor. Anyway, let's have a check." Bill Honley said in front of Stuart's door.
Bill Honley entered the odd-looking disgusting house and saw little Stuart playing with a old piece of junk.
"Hello little Stuart. I heard you've been getting A's. How's that feel like?"
"Okay, I guess."
"What job you want in the future? A computer programmer, an author, an movie maker?"
"A nuclear technician." Stuart said.
"I don't know about that. There are no nuclear power plants in South Park, and you seem um... poor to move somewhere else where there is a Nuclear Power Plant. You know what? I think I'll just go."
Bill Honley and The Cameraman left the house as a meteor from the sky hit towards Stuart dead to the ground.
Suddenly a young Gerald and Randy came in Stuarts house.
"Oh my god! That killed Stuart!" Randy yelled!
"You Bastard!" Gerald yelled.
Stuart McCormick Age 18.
"My god. Stuart McCormick has been getting D's in school. I wonder how that has happened?" Bill Honley said as he looked at his report card in the principle office of South Park High.
Two years in the past.
"Hey Stuart." Gerald said as he and his friends came into the poor house. "Try this beer. It's great!"
"Not now. I have to study for this test." Stuart answered.
"Oh come on. Just one beer." A drunken Randy said as he came into the room.
"Fine. If that will shut you up."
Stuart took a beer from Gerald's hand and drank him. Suddenly he started change slowly and his brain was thinking slower.
Veronica Crabtree Age 8
The cameraman pointed the camera at a young, normal, and healthy girl who was smiling and sitting at the bench.
"Hello Veronica. What's it like today in this world?"
"It's not bad. I'm thinking about being a astronaut or a doctor. I'm thinking mostly about being a Vet."
Veronica Crabtree Age 24
"At the age of 24, she became a doctor to both humans and pets." Bill Honley said as he and the camera man entered Veronica's apartment. As they entered the apartment, they sat down to have a talk with Veronica near a bird in the cage.
"So Veronica. What's happen to you these days?"
"I'm kind of tired. I need a smoke right now." Veronica said as she pulled out her cigar. "When I get bored, I feed my pet bird. I'm thinking about getting one of those small jobs for a while."
"You sure smoke a lot." Bill said.
"Yeah, so?"
"Smoking can cause you to have yellow teeth, an grotesque face, brain damage, and may make you act like an old lady who hates children. Are you really okay with that?"
"Sure, why not?"
Veronica Crabtree Age 38 (Before her death)
The Camera man and Bill Honley stepped into a school bus filled with children. The men saw an older Ms. Crabtree that looked like something that just got run over.
"Eww..." Bill said. "Anyway, Ms. Crabtree. What is..."
"SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP!" Ms. Crabtree said
"But I..."
"I SAID SHUTUP!"
"But this is the docu..."
"SHUTUP OR I"LL KILL THE BUNNY!"
Bill Honley and the Cameraman sat down by Stan.
"Does she always do this now?" Bill asked to Stan.
"Pretty much."
Jimbo Kern Age 8
Bill Honley and the Cameraman were in the Marsh's house, to see Jimbo Kern. As they entered the house they saw Marvin Marsh reading the newspapers and Jimbo trying to carefully target Randy with a bebe gun as he chases him around with a baseball bat.
"My god! Aren't you going to control your son!" Bill Honley.
"What do you mean? He's adoptive, or wait? Did my wife cheat me and slept with another guy? Can't remember." Marvin said.
"So wait? He's Randy's half brother or step brother?"
"I think it was half brother."
Jimbo Kern continued to chased Randy with the bebe gun until he pressed the trigger. Suddenly the cameraman fell down dead with a bullet in the eye.
"I thought you told me that was bebe gun." Bill said.
"I didn't say anything asshole. At least Jimbo is not a hippie like Randy is."
"Hey!" Randy said in anger and surprised.
Richard Tweak Age 8
Bill Honley and the Cameraman were now looking at Richard Tweak who was fighting against Quib in the school hallway.
"I don't want to fight Quib. It's too much pressure!" Richard said as his body shake."
"Who's Quib?" Bill asked.
"I'm the lead football junior player of this school." Quib said as he entered the conversation. (Quib is mentioned in Tweek Vs. Craig)
"I see. Well, good luck with your fight then." Bill said as he and the camera man left.
"What's going on here people?" Hall Monitor Barbrady said as he came to the hallway.
"Nothing Hall Monitor. I'm just going." Quib said as he walked away.
Richard Tweak Age 18
Richard Tweak, still shaking, was walking down the hallway as the camera man and Bill Honley followed as they filmed him on the documentary.
"Richard Tweak, a person who's getting good grades, but shakes too much." Bill said as the camear continued to stare at the young man.
"Hi Rich." Cindy said with a smile.
Richard Tweak suddenly stopped shaking.
"What's this?" Bill said as he saw the two. "The man suddenly stopped shaking. Could this be love?"
"What are you doing with my girlfriend?" Quib said as he saw the two.
"I'm not your girlfriend, Quib." Cindy said.
"So. You're going to hang out with this loser instead?"
"He's more nicer and honest than you."
"Yeah... Quib. You better get out of here or... something will happen." Richard said.
"You wanna fight for the girl?" Quib asked.
"What's going on here?" An teenage Barbrady said as he came to the people.
"Nothing hall monitor. We were just leaving." Quib lied.
Barbrady left them as Quib said, "Meet you tomorrow at morning."
Later at Morning in the front of the school.
"Sir." The Cameraman asked.
"What is it Harry?" Bill asked
"Why are we putting a fight between two teenagers in the documentary?"
"Because I just want to."
Richard Tweek was at the front of the school shaking in fear.
"This is too much pressure."
"Hello Richard!" Cindy said as she walked to the teenager.
"Hi... Cindy..." Richard said as he stopped shaking.
Four Hours later.
A crowd surrounded Richard until one of Quib's friends came.
"Hey Rich. It's your lucky day." Quib's friend said. "The guy moved to some place in Texas. You won."
"Really!" Richard said in surprise.
"FUCK!" Bill said as he punched the cameraman in the face. "I lost the freaken bet!"
Ryan Valmer Age 8
Ryan Valmer was in the hallway making fun of the disable by pulling pranks and calling names to them.
"As we see another incredibly rude child, we also see him as a child who doesn't care about the disabled." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.
The camera was facing towards the child again as he poked a disabled kid with his two fingers.
Ryan Valmer Age 38
"Hello Mr. and Ms. Valmer." Bill Honley said. "It seems I forgot about you as a teenager and an young adult in the film. Anyway, it seems your child is disabled. Isn't that kind of strange?"
"What do you mean?" Ryan Valmer asked.
"First you were making fun of the disable children. Now, you have a disable child in your own home. Don't you think that's strange."
"Well yes. I guess it's payback for what we done to the disabled."
"Anyway, how's life today."
"It's fine I guess. Nothing is wrong." Sarah Valmer.
"Hey dad!" Jimmy said. "I'm having trouble coo...coo...coo...cooking this steak. I need help!"
2 min. later.
Jimmy, his parents, the camera man, and the documentary film maker were in front of a burnt house.
"You call that nothing, huh?" Bill Honley said.
Token Black IV Age 8
"Little Token Black the fourth. A rich fella, but doesn't even know that he is one." Bill Honley said as he entered his mansion.
In the mansion, he saw arts, statues, and all kinds of art.
"My, my. This guy is one rich bastard. Where is the little fella anyway?"
"Right here sir." Token said as he looked at the man.
"There you are. Anyway let's sit down." Bill said.
3 min. later at the couch with Token's parents.
"So little Token. What do you want to be when you grow up? A rocket scientist, a brain surgeon, a principal of a school?" Bill asked.
"What about a detective?" Token asked.
"No, no Token." Token's father said. "You're going to be a lawyer."
"But..."
"I SAID YOUR GOING TO BE A LAWYER! THAT'S FINAL!" Token's father yelled in anger.
Later outside of the mansion.
"After hearing all that. I decided not to waste any film on him."
Lulip Cotswold Age 8
Bill Honley and the Camera Man were inside the Cotswold house protected by metal bars.
"I see you have your son have home-school instead of the regular schooling they do with children." Bill said
"Yes." Ms. Cotswold said. "Here's my son."
Lulip Cotswold walked into the living room wearing shorts, glasses, a white T-shirt with pens in the shirt pocket. He looked liked a nerdy British kid, even though he's actually American.
"That's your kid? He kind of looks more British."
"Well he's not. He's full American."
"Anyway, Lulip Cotswold was it? What a weird name."
"What?"
"I'm just saying that Lulip is a weird name."
"That name happen to come from my dead father."
"It sounds like a girl's name." Bill said.
"Anyway..."
"Lulip. Kind of sounds like tulip."
"Yeah but..."
"Luuuuuuuliiiiip."
Ms. Cotswold screamed and attacked Bill Honley with a broom.
"So that's what violence looks like?" Lulip Cotswold said.
Lulip Cotswold Age 18
Bill Honley and the Camera man were at Lulip's house at the couch
"I see your still home schooled in this house." Bill Honley said.
"Yes? So?" Lulip Cotswold said.
"Tell me Lulip... heh..heh...Lulip. It's kind of funny now. Sounds like a flower. Lulip."
"Will you just get it on with."
"Okay Lulip... hah. Anyway, have you made any accomplishments?"
"Yes. I managed to finish all my school math courses, language courses, and I'm off to college. Home schooling is the perfect thing for me."
"I see. Just one thing. You love home schooling and think it's perfect to learn at home than outside, right?"
"Yes?"
"So how are you going to college, if there's no such thing as home college?"
"Fuck." Lulip Cotswold said.
Later outside of Lulip Cotswold house.
"Lulip Cotswold, a man who is smart enough to go against the nerds of the high school, but a man who has to go outside to get a degree in college, has a weird name, and said his first curse word." Bill said as he stared at the camera.
Joe Martin Age 8
The cameraman and Bill Honley were looking at a bunch of bullies named Joe, Bob, Anthony, and Feraz.
"Hello Joe Martin. I believe you are the son of the South Park Mafia boss and it seems you already have your own gang."
"Yeah so?" Joe said as he spotted Quib beating up Richard Tweak.
"Hey boss. It's that kid who owes us money for getting him into the junior football team." Bob said.
The cameraman and Bill Honley followed the gang as they walked to the other bully, Quib.
"Hey kid!" Joe said.
"What the heck do you want Joe?" Quib said without fear.
"You owe us money."
"Can I pay later?"
"You said that before."
"Okay? What if I don't pay at all? What are you going to do about it?"
"This." Joe said as he grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the ground.
Joe started to twist his arm as Quib screamed in pain.
"What's going on here?" Barbrady said as he came.
"Nothing Hall Mon... Wait a minute. Today is Saturday. What the heck do you want?" Joe asked.
"I don't know."
"Good. Guess I can give you more of a knuckle sandwich for you Quib." Joe said as he twisted his arm even further.
Suddenly a crack was heard in his arm causing Quib to scream even more.
"Will this boy become a true gangster in the mafia business? Let's find out." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.
Joe Martin Age 18
Joe Martin was walking in the hallway with his friends, soldiers, gangsters, whatever. He was wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt underneath it. As he walked down the hallway he grabbed a football player by the shirt and pushed him into his own locker because he wasn't able to pay him.
"Joe Martin. Now known as Big Joe because he is known to be bigger than any kid in the high school. Not only that his friends seem to have some nicknames too." Bill Honley said. "Anthony's nickname is Arms because he is known to crack peoples neck easily with his arms, Silent Bob because he's sometimes shy, quiet, and can ignore people easily, and African Feraz because he can be offended easily if you say something negative about African Americans."
Joe Martin Age 38
Bill, the Camera man, and Big Joe were in Big Joe's mansion in the living room of his couch.
"Hello Joe. It's been a while and now you're already the strongest and feared mafia organization in South Park. Plus, I heard that you even have ties to Denver."
"I may have some ties to Denver. Who are you again?" Big Joe asked.
"I'm Bill Honley. The guy who's been filming children, like you, in the past."
"Oh. I thought you were one of the members of the Falyon mafia. There trying to kill me you know."
"Well I'm not. Anyway how's life going for you in the mafia business?"
"Not bad. I've made many deals with people these days, including the mayor, police department, and even the Terrance and Phillip guys. They may not live in South Park, but hey I have some ways to communicate to those fools."
"I see. I hear you have a two sons, and a daughter."
"Can I meet them?"
"Yes, but my daughter and one of my sons are at some party. For now, you can only meet my son. His name is Lucas.
"My name is Loogie! I hate the name Lucas!" Loogie said as he came down the stairs.
"This is your son? Isn't he the one who set up some tooth trading business?" Bill said as Loogie came to the two.
"What the hell do you want?" Loogie said.
"What the hell is wrong with him?" Bill asked as Loogie went to the kitchen.
"He's a bit high tempered when I call him Lucas or anything else." Big Joe said.
"Though, I don't understand why he chose the nickname Loogie. Isn't Loogie a slang term for mucus?"
"I think it is."
Meanwhile outside of Big Joe's mansion.
Bill Honley was walking towards his car as the Cameraman followed.
"Well, time to go..." Bill said until he saw his car exploded into dust, metal, and scrap.
Big Joe ran outside.
"Oh yeah. I almost forgot to take off the car bomb. Good thing you're not a Falyon member or an assassin. Right?" Big Joe said with a fake smile.
"That was a Audi R8! It was an expensive sports car, you bastard!" Bill yelled out in anger.
Chef Age 8
The camera faced toward Chef as he was walking into the playground until he saw Gerald about to be punched by Joe Martin.
"Hey! What are you doing guys?" Chef said.
"What the heck do you want? This is between me and the greedy Jew here!" Joe said.
"Hey! That's racist ever since the holocaust was found out. Millions of people in America still haven't got over that event."
"True. I guess I should stop making deals with Jewish people and torturing them by making them listening to a mix of Jazz and Death Metal. You know, you're not a bad guy. How about I buy you a drink, including the Jew?"
"That's not a bad idea." Chef said with a smile.
"And the world welcome the friendship between a Jew, African American, and a young Italian American Mobster." Bill Honley said as he stared at the camera.
Chef Age 24
Bill Honley and the Camera Man were at the party in the barn, also known as "The Drunken Barn Dance".
"We are now at the Drunken Barn Dance where Chef has now moved back into South Park for three years. He now may have a restaurant, and yet he could actually be more than a Chef since he graduated college." Bill Honley said in front of the Camera. "Now..."
"Hey Big Boy." Liane Cartman said. "You look like a handsome British boy."
"I'm 34 years old. You look younger than me. Plus, I'm not just British, but American and Canadian too."
"We can still dance can't we?"
"Well... um... I guess a small dance can't hurt."
Bill Honley left the Cameraman alone as he and Liane danced and smooched on the hay.
"What am I'm supposed to now?" The Cameraman said. "Is that the Denver Broncos! I need autograph!"
Chef Age 38
"We are now entering the cafeteria and... who the hell are you! You like that one guy from Star Wars. Where's Chef?"
"Hey!" Stan said. "For your information. That is the guy from Star Wars, R2-D2 and Chef is... well... gone..."
"WHAT! You don't mean he's...
"Yes." Kyle said as he came into the cafeteria.
"My god! I wasn't at his funeral! I'm a bad friend!"
"Dude!" Eric said. "He had a lot of friends! His most worst friend would be Christian Bale. Jesus he curses a lot. Yet, he sure has a lot of friends who are celebrities."
"Thanks... um... who are you?" Bill asked.
"Eric Cartman. We all miss him. Even that cursing asshole, Christian Bale. Yet, he is a good actor though." Eric said as he looked at the ground.
"And that is my documentary." Bill Honley as he showed his film in a theater as a test screen to the South Park citizens.
"It wasn't bad." Sharon said. "You kind got of there at Richard Tweak Age 18 part."
"At least it showed Chef's childhood." Gerald answered.
"I'll missed that guy." Big Joe cried.
"Is the mafia boss crying? That's a bit unusual." Mr. Garrison said.
"I never knew that Ms. Crabtree was actually intelligent at that time." Kyle said.
"So Bill. What are you going to do now?" Stuart McCormick asked.
"I'm thinking about making a documentary about your children, since this kid's generation has changed a lot." Bill answered. "It's going to start at the age 9, than 16, than 26, and finally 38. If I die, than my nephew can take over."
"You know what I don't get?" Randy asked.
"What is it?"
"You said your American, British, and also Canadian? You don't look Canadian at all." Randy said.
"I look mostly American, my accent is British, and as for the Canadian is my right arm." Bill said as he pulled his sleeve revealing a cartoon like arm.
"Ew... Sorry to ask that." Randy said as he saw his Canadian-like arm.
29 years later.
Stan's Age 38.
"So Stan. Your married to Wendy Marsh, right now and have two children which I haven't seen yet, because there off to school." Bill's Nephew said. "What's it like these days?"
"I have a normal life of an American and..." Stan said until a ring came. "That must be Kenny."
Stan opened the door and saw a normal Kyle, a normal Eric, and Kenny who is now in fancy clothes with a wallet filled with clothes.
"Hello Kenny. I see your doing well today." Stan said.
"I need your help. Derek has gone mad again." Kyle said.
"Dang it. I thought Dr. Phil's nephew and sending him to World War III would help him calm down and give him enough violence. Come on Kenny. Let's go buy some Mountain Dew."