The bell rung and I immediately jumped up out of my seat. I grabbed my backpack and as I was walking out the door, Shawn blocked my way.
"That's not an answer." He grinned, but looked down at his feet. I pushed him away and ran out of the room.
It wasn't just that I had to deal with him, and hurting him. It was EVERYTHING. I didn't even know what came over me. All of a sudden I was weak. A puny little emotional baby. Like, my guard was broken down, and I was breaking down with it.
I ran to the steps between the 6th and 8th grade buildings and sat on them after the bell rang. I could care less if I was late or not. I was too busy bawling like a 2 year old. I put my hands over my face, I really couldn't take it anymore.
I looked up, "Why?!" I took a breath, "Why do you do this to me?! I hate it!"
Everyone was behind me, leaning on the railing. None of them had seen me like this. I'm always the funny sarcastic one, even when times get hard, but now I was someone different. I had emotions and this was the real me. A thirteen year old girl who is an extreme softie. Someone that gets hurt easily. Someone that can't handle the weight of the world on her shoulders. Someone that hates herself. Someone that was never good enough. And this was just another moment that proved that last statement. But absolutely none of them really understood it, none.
I turned around and looked at them all. They looked shocked. I shook my head and clenched my fists, they'll never understand.