DISCLAIMER: Characters aren't mine. 'Cept Maggie. Also, the song belongs to Sara Bareilles.

A/N: So sorry for the delay in getting this new chapter up. Life just doesn't seem to want to calm down! Thank you to those who have favorited and reviewed this story. I've really enjoyed writing it. Not much longer till it wraps up though! Enjoy this next chapter and please review! :)

Holding my breath
Last one I've got left
'til I see you

Deliver my heart with the
Pieces and parts of me left
Every last day seemed to carry the weight
A life time
Watch from the ground
As the gold fluttered down from the sky

Ten months. It had been ten months since she'd seen him. And each day, the tightness in her chest grew that much more. Slightly, slowly, she was turning to despair. But she wouldn't let it take her.

It felt differently than all those years ago. She chose to leave then, she chose her path, she chose to have the strength to deal with the consequences of her decisions. This time, she felt as though she had no control. And the longer he was gone, the more she had to fight with the resentment that grew in her heart.

She focused on her daughter. Maggie was growing each day, changing, becoming a girl that Olivia could not have been more proud of. Her kindness, her introspection, her strength of character all grew along with her. She saw so much of herself in her little face. And so much of Greyson in her character. It was Maggie who got her through each time her loneliness started to get the better of her. And Olivia was grateful.

Elliot had known she would worry. The nature of the job made each day unpredictable. She knew she could trust him to be safe and take care of himself. But she knew the risks he took each day simply by going to work.

He had told her that he wouldn't be able to contact her. He had warned her that if their relationship was exposed, he could lose custody of his children. She couldn't bear the thought of that. So she understood the once-a-month text that she received from him was the best he could do. It always said the same thing:

Don't worry. – El

She knew he couldn't text the things he wanted to tell her. Instead, she accepted and appreciated his reassurance that she shouldn't worry. And she read all the things he couldn't say. That he was alive and well. That things were proceeding. That he was coming for her as soon as he could. That he missed her. That he loved her.

It was enough. It had to be.

Sweet sun
Send me the moon
Empty the skies out
Bringing me one step closer to you
Send it soon
And I will breathe in, breathe out
Until you come in and out
Of view

"Mommy?"

Olivia looked up from her book to her child, who was sprawled out on the floor with coloring pages and crayons scattered all around her. She smiled; she had an artist on her hands.

"Yes, darlin'?" Olivia responded, settling her book across her curled legs and giving her daughter her full attention.

"Is Elliot going to visit soon?"

Olivia smiled warmly. Since Elliot's visit last summer, her daughter had not stopped talking about him. He had clearly made an impression.

"He's going to visit as soon as he can, baby. I promise," Olivia replied with certainty. Despite the fact that she didn't, couldn't hear from him often, she knew he was unwavering in his loyalty and devotion to her, to Maggie.

"Do you miss him?"

Olivia smiled. Her daughter had entered a strong curiosity phase. Everything she said was in the form of a question. It was the cop's blood in her, Olivia thought. Always asking, always learning, always observing. She loved it.

"Yes, Maggie, I miss him very much," Olivia said. "He's my best friend."

"Hey! What about me?" Maggie squealed and Olivia had to laugh.

"Okay, he's my best grown-up friend," Olivia grinned as Maggie seemed to accept that answer. As she returned to her coloring, Olivia thought perhaps it was time to talk to Maggie about Elliot's next visit, whenever it would take place. "Sweetie, can you come sit by me for a second? I want to talk to you about something."

Wordlessly, Maggie stood from her place on the floor and crossed to the couch where her mother was sitting, climbing up next to her and snuggling into her side.

"I want to talk to you about Elliot," Olivia began, looking down at her daughter who was looking back at her with wide, open brown eyes. She absolutely loved the adoration she saw there, it was a feeling unlike any other she'd ever felt in her life. "Elliot and I have known each other a very long time; many, many years. We lived in New York City, which is a big city all the way on the other side of the country."

"What did you do there?" Maggie interrupted with a soft, sweet voice.

"We were police officers."

"Like Daddy!" Maggie exclaimed, grinning.

Olivia grinned. "Yes, sweetie, like Daddy. Before you were born, I decided to move to California. I met your daddy there and we fell in love. But before I fell in love with your daddy, I fell in love with Elliot."

There was a pause as Maggie absorbed Olivia's words. Finally, she spoke softly. "Did you love Elliot more than you loved Daddy?" Olivia could see that her daughter was trying to understand.

"Oh no, sweetie, not at all. I still love them both very, very much. I just love them differently. It's okay to love people differently; just because you love them differently doesn't mean you love them any more or less. You just love them with a different part of your heart." Olivia tried to explain as best she could and Maggie seemed to follow. Explaining the concept of love to a five year old was not the easiest task she'd ever undertaken.

Olivia watched her daughter nod and think, mulling everything over in her head and trying to draw some conclusions of her own. "If you love Elliot, he has to love you back, right?"

Olivia smiled and tucked a piece of Maggie's dark hair behind her ear. "Well, he doesn't have to. But I'm really lucky, because he does love me back."

"I knew it!" And at that, Maggie leaped off the couch and started dancing around the room, making Olivia laugh harder than she thought possible.

"Wait, Mommy." Maggie suddenly stopped dancing and crossed to her mother again, this time with a very serious look on her face. She stood in front of Olivia and placed her hands on her legs, leaning in and speaking softly.

"Is Elliot going to be my new daddy?"

Olivia smiled softly into her daughter's sweet face and placed her hands on her rosy cheeks. "Sweetie, no one will ever take the place of your daddy. He will always be your daddy and I will always love him. But Elliot loves us both, too. And I know he wants to be there for you in ways that your daddy can't."

"What ways?" Maggie asked, cocking her head to the side inquisitively.

"Well, he wants to do things with you that a daddy would do. Like, take you to the park, tuck you into bed, make you breakfast, read you stories. Things like that."

Screen your dates when you turn sixteen and bring a boy home, Olivia thought. Walk you down the aisle when you get married. Hold your child like a proud grandpa. She fought against the tears that threatened to fill her eyes.

"Oh," Maggie said, breaking into Olivia's thoughts and bringing her back to the moment. "I would like that a lot, I think."

Olivia grinned. "I'm glad. I would like it, too." She softy kissed her daughter's cheeks and said, "Okay, how about we clean this up and get you ready for bed?"

Inches away from you
Scared what I'll take from you, darling
I can live with your ghost
If you say that's the most I'll get

Darkness to light
Moved from day into night to be near you
Still here I stand
I am sinking like sand in your sea

Later that night, after Maggie was sound asleep and the house was quiet, Olivia thought back to her conversation with her daughter. Maggie seemed to understand everything that Olivia told her and she seemed content to know that when Elliot returned, he would be a more permanent fixture in their lives.

At that moment, of course, her thoughts turned to Elliot.

She was proud of the life she'd created for her daughter. She gave her a warm, cozy home, and stability. She could never regret leaving New York. That decision led directly to Maggie and her daughter was her entire life. Now that she was finally a mother, she couldn't imagine not being one. In spite of the challenges, the difficulties of being a single parent, she wouldn't change it for anything.

What she regretted were those years without Elliot. Their time apart, her love for Greyson, her love for Maggie had all dulled the pain of being separated from him. But it never vanished completely. She could never be rid of him, and she never wanted to.

So many things had changed since Elliot's departure from Portland. Maggie had turned five; she had wanted a princess party and Olivia threw one for her and her friends from pre-school. Olivia had gotten a promotion at the rape counseling center where she worked and was now overseeing the department responsible for counseling female police officers and soldiers who had been assaulted. She was proud of the work she was doing, glad that the skills she'd acquired during her time at SVU were not for nothing.

Slowly, she walked through her home, turning off lights, making sure the doors were locked and climbing the stairs to her room. She flicked on the light in the bathroom and began the process of readying herself for bed. As she brushed her teeth, she closed her eyes and imagined Elliot beside her. Something about this banal, mundane routine made her miss him more than ever. She imagined him brushing his teeth next to her, dressed in a tank top and boxer briefs. She imagined his fingers pressing gently into her hips, silently requesting her to shift over so he could rinse the toothpaste out of his mouth. She imagined his thumb swiping against her cheek and smiling softly before heading into her room… their room.

She imagined following him shortly thereafter, coming up behind him as he turned down their bed and pressing her lips to his broad shoulder. She imagined him turning and taking her in his arms, laying her down against the bed and making love to her. She imagined falling asleep in his arms.

Opening her eyes again, she sighed softly. There was only one reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her own. As reality set back in, she leaned down and rinsed her mouth out. She was alone. Again.

Sweet sun
Send me the moon
Empty the skies out
Bringing me one step closer to you
Send it soon
And I will breathe in, breathe out
Until you come in and out
Of view

You already do
Never you mind where the evening should find us
Together
Distance can't take what is hidden here
Safe in my chest

"Maggie!" Olivia called after her daughter who had bolted from the car to their home as soon as the door had opened. The girl stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned back to her mother. "Your backpack. Please take it in the house."

The girl slogged back to her mother who handed it to her and then ran back to the house. Olivia couldn't help the grin on her face. Her daughter was a character, that was for sure.

As she shut the car door, Olivia swung her bag over her shoulder and balanced her empty travel mug atop several file folders. Her caseload had increased recently and she would have to do some work from home that night after Maggie had gone to bed. Such was her life.

Before heading into the house, Olivia stopped by her mailbox, narrowly avoiding a boy on a bicycle who was clearly enjoying the unseasonably warm April day. For once, it wasn't raining and Olivia was glad to see the neighborhood kids taking advantage of that as they zoomed down the sidewalk on their bikes and skateboards.

Expertly one-handed, Olivia opened the box and pulled out just a few items. "Bill… bill… junk…" She rifled through them with her fingers until she came to the last item. A postcard. She was curious, so she set her mug on top of the mailbox, tucked her files under her arm and pulled the postcard to the front of the stack.

The picture on the front was of the Manhattan skyline.

Her heart stopped beating for just a moment and when it started again, she thought it might pound right out of her chest. Bringing a delicate hand to her mouth, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to settle herself.

She could vaguely hear her daughter shouting for her to come let her into the house, but all Olivia knew at that moment was that Elliot had held this postcard in his hands, that he had sent it to her and that she could only hope it was good news.

Opening her eyes, she turned it over. His succinct scrawl etched only a few symbols on the thick, glossy paper.

May 24th.

He was coming.

Olivia grinned.

I'll wait for the day when
We finally say now or never
Till then I'll be here wanting more
As I settle for at most fear

Sweet sun
Send me the moon
Empty the skies out
Bringing me one step closer to you
Send it soon
And I will breathe in, breathe out
Until you come in and out
Of view