A/N: Many thanks to Lady Pandora and ladygris for their endless hours of listening to me talk about my ideas, and for all the Betas they've done over the years.

Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage we did not take,

towards the door we never opened, into the rose garden.
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

Namaste,

Sunny

Captain America

Echoes in the Memory

Chapter 10

Dragging himself from a deep sleep, Steve grabbed the phone from the nightstand. "Rogers."

"Sorry to bother you, Captain Rogers. I'm a-a friend of Peggy Carter's." There was a pause, and the phone was muffled though he could hear the caller speaking to someone in the background. Then, she came back on the line. At least he assumed it was a she. The voice was unaccented, and could've just as easily been a man, if it weren't for the cadence and choice of words. "She must see you. Alone. It's urgent."

"Who is this?"

"I…" again there was a pause, and when the voice came back, it had an edge of fear, "…Peggy has something she needs to tell you. Her family will be in and out all day tomorrow. Can you come the day after?" With nothing to do but work out and brood, Steve's calendar was wide open. He was about to say so when the caller interrupted. "I have to go. Please come, Captain Rogers."

The line went dead. He tried calling back, but the number was private. Wondering what Peggy could want, Steve dialed Hill. "It's Rogers. Could you track a call that came to my phone from a private number?"

The SHIELD agent snorted. "Easy-peasy." In the background, he heard her giving orders, and the click of a keyboard. "Sorry, Cap. The phone's turned off. However, we can say with one hundred percent accuracy that it pinged off of a tower near All Veterans Park, Alexandria." She was an expert at reading people, even over the phone. "It means something to you, doesn't it?"

Steve took a deep breath, and let it out. "Yeah. It does. Thanks."

~~O~~

After the Barnes family's big finish, Natasha clapped. "Wunderbar, meine lieblings! Wunderbar!"

As if they'd just played the final song at a rock concert, the four Barnes family members held hands and bowed. Bucky waved. "Danke schoen. Wir wedern hier sein, die ganze woche."

Bucky took her in his arms and kissed her hello. "You dyed your hair."

She shrugged one shoulder. "Needed a change."

Behind her comment, Bucky heard what she couldn't say. That she'd made the change for a mission. "It's beautiful, but I prefer the red."

"I'll go back to it by Christmas." Looking past him, she saw papers and envelops stacked on the dining room table. "What's all that?"

Chase crossed his arms, shifting his weight onto one foot. "Gramps has us addressing invitations to the exhibit dedication…"

"…by hand!" Justin, still at the piano, finished for him, adding a few notes of a dirge. "He even wants us to dress up like the cast of Saving Private Ryan."

Natasha agreed with Bucky, and said so. "I think it's a perfect idea. Let the attendees get some idea of what the world was like during the war. I'll go change and give you a hand."

She picked up her bags, and as she climbed the stairs, the kids began singing a different song. This one from the movie White Christmas.

We'll follow the old man wherever he wants to go

Long as he wants to go opposite to the foe

We'll stay with the old man wherever he wants to stay

Long as stays away from the battle's fray

Because we love him, we love him

Especially when he keeps us on the ball

And we'll tell the kiddies we answered duty's call

With the grandest son of a soldier of them all

After being on a plane for close to ten hours, Natasha really needed a shower. She tossed her one of the bags on the chair in the corner, and the other on the bed. The zipper rasped loudly in the relative quiet, grating on her nerves. She pulled out a pair of slacks, a sweater, and flats.

The clothes she'd worn on the plane were put with the bag in the chair, and soon she was under the hot water, washing away the body aches and grime from traveling.

~~O~~

Joi followed her grandfather into the kitchen, watching while he poured a glass of deep purple wine into a crystal glass.

"Gramps, I need advice on what to wear for this shindig. Think you could go with me to the vintage clothing stores next week?"

Bucky left the wine on the counter and took her hand. "I can do better than that, baby girl. I still have some of Grams' old clothes in the attic." He led her up the stairs to a door at the end of the hall. At the top of the stairs, he pulled the chain to turn on the light. The room was nearly filled to capacity, with a narrow walkway through the boxes, trunks and other castoffs of his old life. He knelt next to a brown and black steamer trunk. It was latched but not locked. "I'm so glad she kept these. She must've known we'd need them one day."

Joi picked up the dress on top, beige with a white jacket embellished with red and pink flowers. Somehow, she couldn't see her grandmother wearing something so ordinary. As long as Joi could remember, she'd worn bright colors. Gramps cleared his throat and stood. Pushing a hand through his hair, he avoided looking at her. "That's, uh… Your grandmother wore it on our first date. We went to the Stark Expo with Steve and her friend Bonnie the day before I shipped out."

Sad on his behalf, Joi carefully folded the dress and set it aside. "Not my color anyway. You go. I can do this alone."

When he was gone, she removed the dresses one by one, making two piles. The ones on the left were rejects mostly for color. Some were maternity clothes, and though they were pretty, no way would she appear at the dedication in one of them. Maybe when she had children of her own.

The other stack had four possibilities, the colors and styles more suited to Joi's slender frame. She reflected that her grandmother had worn these clothes when she was younger than Joi was now.

The rest of the clothes were returned to the trunk, and the lid closed. Gathering her treasures, Joi made her way down to the second floor, using one of the empty bedrooms to change.

The first dress was black with red around the diamond shaped collar and down the closure that ran along her left leg. A row of five red buttons secured it at the waist as well as several more on the inside where they wouldn't show. It was lovely, but she wanted something a little more flirty.

Her second choice was all black with short sleeves, a tie at the waist and shiny black dots all over it. She'd found a black hat that matched. Together they made her look chic and sophisticated. That went to the side as a possibility.

Number three was dark green with cap sleeves and a full skirt. The color suited her, but the dress hung oddly on her hips, making them look extra wide. Nope.

That left number four. Once the zipper was up, Joi smoothed the soft material down over her hips and adjusted the sleeves. It fit like it had been made for her, conforming to her figure without bunching, and no straining at the seams. Silently, she thanked her grandmother for her foresight in keeping the dresses from her youth. Shoes and a bag to match would round the out ensemble. Joi already had jewelry, a necklace and watch given to her by Grams on her twenty-first birthday that would be perfect.

There was a knock on the door, followed by her brother's voice. "Joi?"

"Come in."

Justin stepped inside and closed the door. Looking her up and down, he let out a low whistle. "Day-um, girl! You look hot in Grams' dress."

"You really think so? It's not too much?"

Justin walked around her, shaking his head. "Au contraire, my beautiful sister. It's perfect." He picked up the green dress, making a face at the color and style. "You'll knock Steve on his ass." Turning to the mirror, he held the dress in front of him, turning side to side. "What d'you think? Is it me?"

Joi shook her head. "Not your color, and the skirt makes you look hippy. Stick to a double breasted suit in dark grey or black. Check the attic. Gramps probably has a few up there."

He picked up the black and red dress, shaking his head. "Too bad it isn't a sixties theme. I would totally rock Jackie Kennedy. Pink Chanel suit, pillbox hat, black pumps, and I'm set. Gramps could go as JFK, and Natasha as Marilyn Monroe."

"What about Chase?" Joi asked with a grin.

"Lee Harvey Oswald, of course. With a Nerf gun instead of a rifle."

~~O~~

Bucky sat at the bottom of the stairs, elbows resting on his knees, and hands clasped between them. So many emotions warred inside him that he could barely breath. Seeing Joi holding that dress had brought back pre-war memories. He'd been a young man on the prowl, looking for a girl who would give herself to a soldier going off to war. When they first met, he thought Connie would fit the bill, but she had put the kibosh on that right away. Dinner, the expo, dancing, a kiss good night, and nothing more.

Truthfully, he hadn't been upset that he didn't have his way with her that night because he was too busy worrying about Steve. He'd taken the girls dancing after leaving his friend at the recruitment center, and hadn't seen him again until the daring one-man rescue from the lab.

A few weeks after reaching the base in Europe and before his squad had been captured, he heard rumors that a man by the name of Steve Rogers had begun touring the country to promote war bonds dressed in a weird costume and going by the stage name Captain America. Though the man had the same name as his friend, those rumors said this guy was over six feet, and incredibly strong. A description that didn't fit his friend's skinny body. Not to mention that Steve could barely carry two bags of groceries without getting winded.

Rubbing his forehead in an attempt to banish the memories of what happened a few short weeks later, Bucky sighed. The whisper of footsteps on the stairs above reminded him that Natasha was home. Getting to his feet, he turned to watch her come down the stairs. She had a cat-like grace that would make even the most conceited super-model green with envy.

She wore black slim-fitting pants, black shoes that looked like ballet slippers, and a cream-colored sweater with a cowl neck. It had slid off one side leaving that shoulder bare, and more than hinting that she wore nothing underneath.

Her blonde hair was worn in the same style as before, but now she resembled a Petit Marilyn Monroe. In his mind, he pictured Natasha in Marilyn's white halter dress, standing over the subway grate, her dress flying up around her.

She stopped on the third step, one hand on the railing, a smile turning up the corners of her lips. Her face was free of make-up and the scent of her favorite coconut and lime shower gel reached him through the small space between them.

Movement behind Natasha drew his eyes to the top of the stairs. What he saw caused the air to stall in his lungs. Joi was coming down, a tentative smile on her face. Bucky closed his mouth, and swallowed. "Oh, my God."

Natasha touched him on the cheek. "What's wrong, lyubimaya?"

All Bucky could do was point, his eyes following Joi as she moved around Natasha to the bottom of the stairs. She turned in a circle. "What do you think, Gramps?"

"You look just like your grandmother."

~~O~~

The tone of Bucky's voice gave Natasha a moment's pause. The look on his face was that of a man who missed his wife, and still hadn't realized the void she'd left in his life, a void that Natasha stepped into by accident. She'd known it from the beginning, and that's why she kept turning down his proposals. He did want to marry her. That much was true. Bucky just needed to get to the point of acceptance before that could happen. If they married now, chances were that it wouldn't last. If Natasha ever said, "I do", she wanted it to be forever.

Bucky certainly thought he was ready to marry again, but she knew different. She read it in his eyes every time he looked at Connie's picture on the bookshelf. They had been together for over sixty years, and he still had to deal with his grief, and the pain of that loss.

Through careful questioning of other family members, Natasha had found out that Bucky had not truly mourned. Perhaps one day she might be able to help him get past stages three and four in the process. He still felt guilty-stage three, that he hadn't loved Connie the way she deserved, and felt a sort of depression-stage four, that came with that guilt. It could also be the cause of his sleepwalking incident. If it kept up, she would insist that he see a licensed therapist.

Smiling, Natasha touched Joi on the arm. "You look beautiful, malyshka. Steve will love it."

Joi shrugged and made a face. "I hope so. He has to be there early for photos and interviews, and I'll be joining him later."

Something in Joi's tone nagged at Natasha. Her job really did stink sometimes. She wanted to get the girl alone to ask if there was a problem between her and Steve, but sensed her concern would be seen as nosiness. If she needed or wanted a confidant, Natasha would make herself available.

Forcing a smile, Joi started up the stairs. "I'll change and be right down, Gramps."

When Bucky faced her again, his usual grin was in place. He led her to the kitchen, and passed her the wine. "How was your trip? Or is that need-to-know?"

Natasha leaned against the counter and took a sip. Holding the glass so that the light refracted through the clear crystal, she glanced over at him, and back. "The why is confidential. The trip itself was grueling. My flight back was delayed due to weather, and I had to stay the night at a hotel barely worthy of the name." She finished off the wine and set the glass in the sink. "Let's finish the invitations, and I'll take us all out to dinner."

From the other room, three voices chorused, "Deal!" It was followed up with a sibling type disagreement over who would take shotgun. If Natasha didn't know better, she'd think they were babysitting. A few minutes later, they settled down, with Justin playing forties music to keep them in the mood.

Eventually, the work was completed, the kids seemingly unaware that their grandfather wasn't his normal boisterous self. Though she pretended not to notice, Natasha saw Bucky shooting glances and nostalgic smiles at Joi. Bucky was right. Joi did resemble Connie at the same age, though Joi was thinner and a little taller. They had the same color hair and eyes. Her smile was all Bucky though.

When it came bedtime, Natasha thought it best to sleep apart from Bucky so he could be alone with his memories. He wasn't happy about it as he rubbed her shoulders. "But why? You've been gone for almost two weeks. I've missed you."

In this instance, the best thing to say was lie. "It was a long two weeks. Then there was the flight back, and dinner with the kids." Natasha mentally rolled her eyes. She'd picked up Bucky's habit of referring to his progeny as the kids. He didn't seem to find it odd.

"Please stay with me. I promise to be a perfect gentleman."

She rubbed the backs of his hands. "I still have a report to complete. My handler will want at least a preliminary by morning." Turning within the circle of his arms, she laid her hands on his chest. "How about a compromise. I'll go do my report, and if you're still awake when I'm done, we'll fool around a little."

Bucky's smile almost broke her heart because she knew it wouldn't happen. Not tonight. Even when her report was complete, she planned on staying in the other room until he was asleep. Whether they slept together or apart tonight, they would have to talk tomorrow. She had to make him see that he needed to grieve, if not for the death of his wife, at least for what was missing from his life. Each time he proposed, Natasha got the feeling that he was doing it to keep from being alone in this big house. Marrying someone because you're lonely is a recipe for disaster.

Natasha kissed him, long and sweet, and stepped out of his embrace. At the door, she smiled over her shoulder. "Gute nacht, meine leibling."

~~O~~

Steve called Joi when he got home, but begged off meeting for dinner, saying he was tired. It was the truth, just not the whole of it. He stopped at a drive-thru for burgers, and took them home to his empty apartment.

His neighbor from across the hall arrived at the same time, balancing a purse, gym bag and several plastic bags of groceries. "Let me give you a hand."

He took control of all but the purse, the woman sighing in relief. "Thanks. I spent all day in the ER. It was crazy busy." She stuck out her hand, realizing too late that he wasn't able to shake. "Sorry. Kate." She opened the front door and followed him in.

"Steve. Nice to finally meet you, Kate." Her tired smile made him feel bad for not introducing himself sooner. They hit the second landing, Steve taking his steps slower to accommodate her shorter stride.

"You keep a weird schedule, don't you?"

Steve nodded and grinned. "Yeah. I'm always on call."

She glanced at the fast food bag. "Are you gonna eat all that yourself? How many burgers are in there?"

"Seven. Ate the fries in the car." He grinned sheepishly. "I have a fast metabolism."

A snort came from her. "Wish I did. Have to watch every calorie, carb and fat gram that goes into my body." They reached the third floor, Kate took out her keys. "Just put those on the floor. Thanks for your help."

From her manner, Steve could see that Kate didn't want him inside her apartment, and he respected her wishes. "Happy to do it, Kate. If you ever need a hand again, just knock on my door."

She gave him a bland smile, not responding to what she probably took as his attempt at flirting, though he hadn't meant it that way. "Have a good night, Steve."

"You too." Inside his apartment, Steve set the bag of burgers on the coffee table and kicked off his shoes, shedding his jacket at the same time. He went to the kitchen for a beer, setting the bottle with the burgers. Briefly, he considered watching a movie from his list, but it wouldn't be as much fun without someone there to explain the bits he didn't understand. Looking them up on the Internet wasn't as interesting as having Joi or Bucky's unique views of the world, as well as their humorous quips. Instead of a movie, he chose a record, placed it on the turntable, and turned it on.

Innisbrook Extended Care Center

Springfield, Virginia

Later That Night

Lying in her bed, hands folded on top of the covers, Peggy Carter stirred, her sleep, restless like always. Her eyes fluttered open, and she glanced around the room, seeing a figure standing near the window. What little light there was didn't allow her to make out exact features. However, the body shape reminded her of someone from long ago. "Steve?" She smiled happily. "Is the war over? Can we go home? Oh, I've missed you so."

The figure, a deeper shadow in the darkness, didn't respond. It came to her side, and one hand brushed the hair from her face and touched her cheek. She turned into the touch, rubbing her cheek against the palm. Seconds later, Peggy closed her eyes, and a contented smile turned up the corners of her lips. She took two more breaths, and was still. The curtains fluttered as the window was opened and closed again.

A short time later, the aide entered. She turned on the light above the bed. "Evening, Ms. Carter. How are you feeling tonight? Ms. Carter?"

Taking hold of Peggy's wrist, she felt for a pulse, finding none. She laid that hand with the other on her stomach, said a short prayer, and went to get the nurse.

TBC

Saving Private Ryan is a 1998 American epic war drama film set during the Invasion of Normandy in World War II.

White Christmas is a 1954 American musical romantic comedy film directed by Michael Curtiz and starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, and Vera-Ellen. The song The Old Man was sung by Crosby, Kaye, and the Men's Chorus about Major General Tom Waverly.

As Time Goes By is a song written by Herman Hupfeld in 1931. It became most famous in 1942 when part of it was sung by the character Sam in the movie Casablanca.

German:

Wunderbar, meine lieblings! Wunderbar! = Wonderful, my darlings! Wonderful!

Danke schoen. Wir wedern hier sein, die ganze woche. = Thank you very much. We'll be here all week.