All characters belong to JKRowling
Chapter 10 - Love Thy Neighbour as Thyself
She realized she was still alive as soon as she opened her eyes and saw the bright lights above her. This was supposed to work. She gave her life so that her daughter could live, yet she was still alive. No. The First Stone didn't work. Malfoy must have lied about the magic, just as he lied about everything else.
WAIT, Hermione couldn't believe any of this was real. Two weeks ago, she was eight months pregnant, seeing her children off to school. Draco Malfoy knocked on her door. He told her that their spouses were cheating with each other. That in itself was enough to make her wish that it were imaginary.
THEN, she took an ancient amulet, given to her by Malfoy, and together they traveled back in time to the 1940's to a time when Lord Voldemort was plain, old, evil, spooky Tom Riddle.
AFTER THAT, everything she ever thought and believed and even READ about The First Stone turned out to be false, meaning, for goodness sakes, that books had lied to her! The whole time they were in the past she was afraid of changing things when the reality was that everything that happened was already assured, be it providence or good old-fashioned serendipity. She couldn't change anything at all! She could merely observe things as they occurred the first time.
BECAUSE, apparently The First Stone wasn't what she thought, and couldn't be used as she thought, and frankly, she no longer wanted to think about IT or anything, EVER AGAIN! At this point, Hermione didn't care. Her new attitude was blithe and laissez-faire. For instance, she wasn't even fazed by the fact that she was on her back, on the ground, with a bunch of DEAD people (presently young and alive) around her, although she did have a slight twinge of a headache.
ALSO, she missed her home, some of her family, her friends, and she couldn't help but think that in another two weeks her baby was due to be born. Yep, she might just keep her eyes closed and never open them again.
"Did she pass out?" Remus Lupin asked. He knelt beside her and lifted her wrist to take her pulse. Hermione remained passive and supine and kept her eyes closed. Let them think she was unconscious. It bought her some time.
"I don't think so. She opened her eyes a moment ago," James prodded. He patted her cheek and said, "Evans? Please, open your eyes again."
"Perhaps we should douse her with water," Pettigrew offered.
Someone stood directly over her. The warmth of the sun was gone again. This person knelt by her head, brushed her bangs back from her face, and leaning so close that she felt the roughness of his cheek against hers, said with a whisper in her ear, "Open your eyes, Granger. It's me, Malfoy." Then, announcing to the spectators, "I think she's faking. Wakey, wakey, Fakey Evans."
She opened first her left eye, then her right. Staring down at her was a very young, very good looking, Sirius Black, but behind those hazel eyes, she knew lurked Draco Malfoy. She almost wanted to cry. Gone in an instance was her newfound blasé attitude, replaced with her regular, uptight, 'must make everything right', attitude. Indeed, everyone who stood, lay, or knelt upon the blanket was dead in her time, and that caused her present unencumbered silence to turn to all out alarm.
She sat up suddenly, sprang from the blanket, and backed away from the small crowd of boys. Her hand went in front of her and she ordered, "Stay away, everyone. I need some air."
"I thought you were merely napping, but did you hit your head?" James asked with concern. He stood and approached her. She held out her other hand as well.
"I mean it, Potter," she warned. "I really, really, really need some time alone to think! Oh my golly, goodness, but you do look so very much like him."
"Who?" James asked.
Hermione closed her eyes once more and said, "I thought the 1940's were bad, but I don't think I can handle this. Maybe if I open my eyes really fast, I'll find out it's all a dream and they'll all go away." She opened her eyes quickly. She stared into four faces, two that looked at her with concern, one who looked at her with fear, and one who was SMIRKING at her!
"Really?" Draco asked with an amused look on his face. "Do you really think I'm a dream? I have been told I'm dream worthy."
Remus smacked Sirius' arm and said, "Leave it, Sirius. Don't make fun at the moment." Draco gave Remus a dirty look in return, but Remus wasn't paying him any mind. Instead, he bent down, picked up the blanket and what she assumed were Lily's books and said, "I'll take these inside for you, Lily. Why don't you take a walk before the Quidditch game and clear your head."
Hermione nodded. She started to turn from the boys when James called back toward her, "Evans?"
With a tone that was shorter than she meant it to be, she snapped, "WHAT?"
"I just hope you do feel better, that's all, and I do hope you come to the game. I know you don't like Quidditch that much, or me for that matter, at least not very much, but, well, anyway, I hope you're feeling better." He smiled and held up his hand to wave goodbye. Hermione felt a wave of nostalgia hit her hard, laced with overpowering depression. James Potter. So incredibly handsome. Popular, smart, and kind, so like Harry. She missed Harry so much. She nodded and stumbled away from them and walked quickly in the direction of the Black Lake.
She looked down at what she was wearing and noted nothing special, faded denims, and a crewneck jumper. She couldn't tell what year she was in, but she knew Harry's parents didn't start to date, or even like each other, until around seventh year. She didn't know the day, let alone the date. Once again, she felt so lost and despondent.
Looking back, she wondered if Sirius, aka Draco, would seek her out later. She felt better knowing he had the book and that she had the amulet. At that thought, she felt around her neck, and then gasped. With her thumb, she pulled out the collar of the light blue, crewneck jumper and looked down at the white oxford blouse underneath. No amulet. Feeling underneath the white cotton shirt by unbuttoning the top two buttons, she felt around her bare skin and was filled with distress! She had lost The First Stone.
Where was it? Had they somehow left it in the 1940's? Did Tom Riddle have it? Would it matter, if he couldn't use it? It was the magic of the book that was transporting them from era to era, letting them relive things, vicariously as it was, not the stone. Still, she had it on her neck when she first said the incantation to leave her time two weeks ago – she had it on her neck when they left Tom Riddle's clutches moments ago – so where was it now?
She stumbled back over to where she first awoke and found nothing but a patch of grass pressed to the earth from the blanket that Remus had folded and taken inside. On bended knees, she felt around the solid earth, hoping her hands might discover what her eyes could not. She had to find that stone.
"Are you looking for something, Lily?"
A slightly familiar voice broke her from her task and she looked up into the much younger face of yet another person who in her time was dead. A person, who in her time, she had felt was never given the proper respect and credit that he deserved, especially by her. She looked up into the face of Severus Snape and without credit or consequence she started to cry.
She sat back on her bum, hung her head, pulled her knees to her chin, and cried. She would blame it on her pregnancy hormones, but she was currently Lily Evans, who wasn't pregnant at all.
Snape looked around quickly, to see if anyone was watching. Then he stood over her and said, "What's wrong with you? Did Potter or Black say something unkind to you? I saw them lurking around you just now. Potter is always around you, saying unkind things, doing unkind deeds. Tell me, did he say something malicious or cruel?"
She shook her head no, hiding her eyes. Where was Draco? Where was The First Stone? Where were LIVE people? She no sooner had that thought when she realized that SHE was in a DEAD person, too. She cried harder and realized that she simply had to leave here immediately!
He tentatively reached a hand toward her, pulled it back, and then reached toward her again. He dropped to his knees and stroked her hair, shocking her. She looked up and cried hardest yet, dropping her face back to her knees again.
"Is this about what I said to you earlier?" he asked, his hand resting on the crown of her head, and then stroking down her hair slowly, easily, before starting it all over again.
Finding solace and comfort in his ministrations, Hermione answered honestly, "I don't know," while wondering what he had said to Lily earlier.
He drew back his hand, sat beside her and pulled on a blade of glass between his legs. With a sigh he said, "I told you things would probably be different this year. Hell, things have been different and strained for us since we started school, and you were sorted into Gryffindor and I was sorted into Slytherin."
She moved her face so that only her left cheek rested on her knees, she hiccupped and let out a long sob and nodded. Harry had relayed that Lily and Snape had been childhood friends, best friends, much like she and Harry, but that once they started school, their friendship became strained, then waned, then altogether disappeared. Only years later did they discover that Snape had loved Lily all the days of his life. It was so tragic. Just the mere thought of it caused Hermione to cry again. She wiped at her eyes with both hands and continued to sob.
He patted her back and said, "I am so sorry, Lily. I know things are hard right now, with the attacked against Muggle-borns, and the constant threats from Death Eaters, but I don't want you to worry, Lily. I wish I could tell you things will get better, but I don't think they will. I think they'll only get worse, but I'll try very hard to keep you safe."
"And who's going to keep you safe? You're going to get in deeper and deeper over your head," she declared. She made that declaration as an adult Hermione Granger, in a teenage Lily Evan's body, which had more of an impact on him, because the expression on his face seemed as if she had physically struck him. He recoiled back, dropped his hand from her back, and winced.
"That's none of your concern! I can take care of myself!" He stood up and said, "See, this was what I meant. This is why we can't be friends any longer! You're constantly telling me that my friends are up to no good, but I can't see that you keep any better company, with those stupid Marauders, or whatever they call themselves, constantly nipping at your heels."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak but he continued, "Yes, I know, you act as if you can't even stand them, especially Potter, but I can't help but think you like the attention they give you. He's the most popular boy in school, and he fancies you, you know that!"
"What's that to you?" she said before she thought better.
"It's nothing. Moreover, to think, I was almost going to apologize for calling you a Mudblood earlier, because I thought that might be why you were crying, but now I know you're probably crying over something Potter said to you. My calling you a Mudblood hardly signifies does it, especially since THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!" he hissed the last part in a haughty, tone that Hermione was all too familiar.
He said it with the arrogant, sarcastic attitude of the 'Professor Snape' who had never shown Harry, Ron or Hermione any kindness growing up. The tone of the only teacher that ever taught at Hogwarts that seemed to hate Hermione Granger. At the time, Hermione never knew why. Hermione had hated him for that. Later, when he died and she learned of all his sacrifices, she hated herself for hating him. Right now, however, she HATED that she was left with feelings of guilt for hating him. There had truly been an ugliness in him at this very moment, right here, right now, as he so easily called someone he presumably cared about such a horrific name. She could not believe how easily he used that word, and how easily he would hurt a friend.
She stood beside him, wiped the remaining tears from her face with the sleeve of her jumper and with her head held high she said, "Someday you're going to regret calling me that. I don't wish that regret on you, but it will come just the same. I think the fact that you've called me that will end up hurting you much more than it will ever hurt me, Severus Snape. Believe me when I tell you, there are going to be a great many things that you will regret in your life, but your betrayal of me will be one of the biggest."
She started to storm off toward the school when he called her name. She stopped walking, but refused to turn back toward him. She waited as he walked toward her, and recoiled inside when he stood by her back. Waiting for the onslaught of words, she was shocked when instead she saw his hand in front of her face, his arm stretched straight before her.
"Here," he said, holding something by a chain in front of her face. She looked right at The First Stone. "I don't need this silly stone you gave me. I'll be fine at my first Death Eater meeting without it. I don't need you, or some silly stone for protection. I will take the Dark Mark tonight with pride. I don't need you for anything. I have my true friends, and that's all I'll ever need."
She whipped around to face him, her eyes wide, mouth open, about to protest, but he took her wrist, opened her hand, and placed the stone inside it. "Believe me, Evans, when I tell you that I regret nothing, nor do I intend to regret anything, especially anything in regards to you." Still holding her wrist, he pushed it toward her side and ended with, "Take it back, Evans. Give it to Potter or someone else. Someone who gives a damn, someone who gives a damn about you!" He stormed away, black robes billowing behind him.
She stared at the ruby amulet in her hand horror-struck. Turning, she ran directly into the chest of Sirius Black. Forgetting for a moment that it was Draco, she let out a little scream. He looked as shocked as she was. Clutching the stone tightly in her hand, she buried her head in his chest. He placed his arms around her and cooed softly, "What's wrong, Hermione, what's wrong?"
"I think I might have killed Severus Snape," she said. She held up the stone and showed it to him. "I know you told me before we got here that we can't change things from the past, but Lily must have given this to him, to protect him. He's going to his first Death Eater's meeting, and something bad must happen to him there, because he had the stone the first time and survived, but now he gave the stone back to me, or Lily rather. He's going to take the Dark Mark tonight! What if he dies because he gave it back to me, just now, in anger?"
He looked around, made certain no one was watching, and pulled her closer to the lake. He brushed the back of his knuckles against her face and said, "You silly little thing. I started to tell you that I lied about the uses of the First Stone, but Tom Riddle interrupted us. We can't change the past. We can only relive it, I already told you that part, but there's more. You see, even if he gave it back to her, in anger, or pride, the first time, that doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be in his possession to work. It only had to be given to him in the name of love, and as long as Lily still possesses the stone, he'll be alright. More to the point, we might be here a while and you can find a way to give it back to him, if you wish."
"How do you know all of this?" Hermione beseeched. "How do you know Lily gave this to him out of love? What does that have to do with anything?"
He didn't want to explain all of this to her right now. She looked so sad, so despondent, but he had to tell her the truth. He said, very quickly, hoping he would only have to say it once, "Okay, here's the truth, as much as I hate to reveal it. The real use of the stone is to protect a woman or man from imminent death, if used by someone that loves them. It doesn't need to be in the possession of the person who's facing death, such as the case with Cygnus and Harriet, but I think it helps." He knew when he used it twenty-two years ago for Hermione, he kept the stone.
She was glaring at him as if he had two heads. "No, Draco. I know more about the stone than you do, because I've had the secret book all these years. First love has nothing to do with The First Stone."
"It has absolutely everything to do with it, sweetheart," he said with a sigh. He pulled her out to a small dock, urged her to sit, and sat beside her. "Some of what we know of The First Stone, some of the stories are real. The magic can only be used once for each possessor of the stone."
People can go back in time to see how it was used, and as I found out, the power of three means we can only see the last three times it was used, but we can't change an event unless the particular event pertained to us. You're the current possessor of the stone, I mean as Hermione Granger, not Lily Evans, so the only thing you could possibly change from the past is if the stone was used to save your life during one of those three times."
He gave her time to digest this new information. She stared at him numbly. He held her hands, rubbing them in his own, and decided that her new 'muteness' might be a good sign, and it was advantageous for him to continue before she spoke again, and cursed his arse to kingdom come.
"Slytherin's counter curse, when Ravenclaw made it, was that only someone with his blood could undo the magic of the stone, willy-nilly, or I mean, any of the past events. That means only a Slytherin heir could stop an event, any event, during the lifetime of the stone. Those are the only ways the stones can be used to alter the past, to stop a person's own event from occurring, or if someone with Slytherin blood, like Voldemort, had used it, which I suspect he knew of, or he wouldn't have wanted it so badly. No one else can change a thing from the past, as you thought, or were led to believe."
She looked at their clasped hands. Her left hand still held the stone. She pulled it from his and opened her palm to stare down at the large amulet. "How are we sure that it was used for Snape during this time? We can't possibly go with him to a Death Eater meeting, and it didn't seem to me that there was any love between Lily and Snape, so how do we know it was used out of love? Perhaps Sirius used it instead, I mean, how else would it have come to be in your family?"
"I know it was used by Snape. It was in my family, because Snape was the one who gave it to my mother when I was a little boy. He was the one who told me how to use it. It only appeared in its true form to my mother and me. My father never knew it existed as part of our legacy. I don't know how Lily Evans came by the stone before Snape had it, but I know Snape was the last person to have it before me."
She was finally starting to comprehend. She felt a wave coldness hit her, and she licked her dry lips and closed her eyes. Holding the stone tightly in her grip, she said, "And you said you had already used the stone once, right?"
He hesitated before he answered, "Yes."
"And you just told me that the stone can only be used to save a person's first love?" she asked for clarification.
"First love or true love, rather," he said. "However, Snape was the one to give it to me, when I was a boy, so that I could use it to save my first love, so yes, that's how I used it." He didn't want her to know that he had used the stone on her, but now he was going to have no choice but to tell her, because the next question was out of her mouth almost as soon as he thought she would ask it.
"And who was your first love? On whom did you use the magic of The First Stone?" she asked, with wide-eyed innocence. That looked suited the face of the sixteen year old Lily Evans.
He wanted to see the face of the woman he loved when he said the next part, so he said the revealing spell again, so that at least to his eyes, she would look like Hermione Granger, and then he answered, "Goodness, Granger, you have to know, don't you? It was you. It was always you."