Sorry for the long delay, guys, but, you know, first year exams and all that. Still, they're over now and hopefully I did well enough to get into my second year at university so we continue!
Chapter Ten
When Jared came home he flopped down in front of the TV. He pulled out his Math homework but ended up spending half an hour looking at Kim's handwriting, thinking about her instead. Maybe he should call Sam and not go on patrol tonight since his concentration was shot to hell. But that would mean missing out on sweeping Kim's house. What if something got to her because he had not checked on her? Unable to face the idea, Jared refused to call Sam.
He was in the middle of a major wallow when his mom walked in with the shopping. "Jared could you get the rest out of the car, please?" she asked. Jared got up and brought in the remaining ten bags, dumping them on the floor. "Careful, Jared! I don't know which bag I put the eggs in."
"Sorry, Mom," Jared said, already halfway out the door.
"I saw your girl Kim at the supermarket," his mom said. Jared span on his heel and came back in to the room. "You did?"
"Yes," his mom said, putting the shopping away.
Jared waited. And waited. "Well?"
"Don't shout, Jay-bird," his mom said, using the nickname his parents and only his parents could use.
"Mom!"
"Okay, okay. I bumped into her, quite literally I'm afraid."
"Is she okay?" Jared asked concerned.
"Yes, Jared, she's fine," Tally said patiently. "I was more worried about the toddler, Jimmy, honestly, since he was in the trolley at the time, but she was a wonder with him. She's a lovely girl, Jared."
"I know," Jared said. "Well, what else?"
"We talked about you a bit – Jimmy did so remind me of you at that age!" Tally smiled maternally.
"You talked about me? What did she say? Was she okay?"
"Well, she was preoccupied before, but then she seemed upset when I mentioned you weren't feeling well again. She said she was sorry about telling you off today but she's got things on her mind."
"What things?" Jared asked quickly, wondering if this was his opening.
"I don't know, Jared, it wasn't polite to ask," Tally said.
"Mom!" Jared whined again.
"Stop saying 'Mom' like that and help me put the shopping away," Tally said. "Oh, and could you ask Kim for my bracelet tomorrow at school? Her brother was quite fascinated by it so I let him play with it but then Kim left. Poor thing obviously has a lot on her plate. It would be so nice if she could have a break from that every once in a while," Tally mused.
"Yeah, it would," Jared said. And she will if I have anything to do with it.
"So, could you do that tomorrow?" Tally asked.
"What? Oh, yeah, bracelet, got it," Jared said.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Why don't you go do your homework while I make dinner? You'll need feeding up if you're going on patrol."
"Yeah, okay, bye Mom."
"Bye, honey."
Jared was called down to dinner at six when his dad got home. "Hey, Dad," Jared said, coming down the stairs.
"Hey, son, things better with Kim today?" George Lane asked.
"I talked to her, but she sort of yelled back," Jared said.
"Ah, well, don't worry. It's a good thing when they yell – it means they're telling you exactly what they're thinking. It's when they're quiet you've got to be scared."
"Is that so?" Tally asked, coming up behind her husband.
George whipped round. "I love you," he said.
"Uh huh," Tally was not convinced. George pulled his wife close and kissed her. Before yesterday Jared would have been kind of grossed out at such a display. Now he was jealous – how come everyone but him could kiss the woman they loved? It was not fair.
"Okay, you two, time for dinner," Tally said. George walked into the kitchen, his hand on the small of his wife's back. Jared followed behind, trying not to feel like a third wheel in his own family.
Over dinner they talked about Kim, his dad's carpentry business, Kim, his mom's childminding job and Kim. Jared got more and more depressed as he realised he could not answer any of his parents' questions about her. He did not even know where she had lived before she had arrived in La Push though he did know she had not been here long – he could remember bumping into her for the first time on the first day of the school year a couple of months ago. But then he had carried on to a cheerleader he had slept with and forgotten about in a week. Why hadn't he looked at her them? He should have. He should have seen her.
"Jared? Are you okay?" his mom asked.
Jared looked up. Both his parents were looking at him anxiously. "Yeah, why?"
"Your mom asked you if you wanted some cherry pie and you didn't answer," George said.
"Oh. No thanks, Mom, I don't want any more. Can I go?" His parents nodded mutely, now looking downright scared, and Jared left.
"Do you think he's really okay?" he heard his mom ask his dad.
"I don't know. I hope he gets together with Kim soon though – I don't know how much more of this he can handle."
"My poor baby," his mom said. "And she's such a lovely girl it's hard to be angry at her."
"They'll work it out, love. It always works out. Remember you and me? Hated each other the first time we met. Couldn't stand each other for two years."
"Now I couldn't live without you."
"Nor I you, love, nor I you."
Jared closed his bedroom door with a heavy heart. Sometimes super-hearing really sucked.
Patrol was interesting that night. There were no vamps but when Jared got to Kim's house she found him outside with a fussing Jimmy. Tears poured down Kim's face as she begged the little boy to settle but he would not. She walked him round and round the garden for an hour before he fell asleep. Kim took him upstairs and laid him in his cot before getting into bed and falling into an exhausted sleep.
As soon as she was in the house, Sam and Paul let go of Jared. At the sight of her tears, Jared had tried to vault over the fence to get to Kim and no amount of his brothers' reasoning that it would freak her out to have a half-naked Jared in her garden at two in the morning would stop him. In the end, they had had to sit on him, Sam clapping a hand over his mouth so Kim did not hear Jared's protests.
"Jared, for fuck's sake!" Paul hissed. "What were you thinking?"
Jared was pacing in a circle, his head in his hands, his chest heaving as he thought of Kim crying alone. "You should have let me go to her," he said. "It would have been alright."
"How?" Sam asked gently, trying to get Jared to see the truth.
"I don't know!" Jared said, flinging his hands away from his face. They saw the anguish in his eyes that was tearing him up inside. "But it would have been. Instead I sat here, useless. What sort of imprinter am I if I can't even help her with a kid? What kind of father will that make me?"
"It'll be different when it's your child she's comforting," Sam said. "For one thing, you can walk around the garden in nothing but your shorts till your heart's content and she won't call the police. But Jared, if you had turned up then, it wouldn't have been a comfort. It would have been stalking."
"I don't care," Jared said.
"Well you should," Sam said. "Jared, I know this is tough, but you need to think about what's best for her."
Jared looked at his Alpha, both resenting and desiring that serenity that Sam radiated. He wanted to feel calm, peaceful. But he could not. All he could think about was Kim crying herself to sleep and him not being there to stop it.
"Come on, we have to go, her mom will be home soon," Sam said.
They phased and were soon home. Jared fell into bed, looking at the clock – three in the morning. Four hours sleep and then he could wake up and get ready for school. Get ready for seeing Kim.
He was bitterly disappointed. Kim was not at school that day. Abby was, having been dropped off by Leanne, who did not have Jimmy in the back of the car today, but Kim was nowhere to be seen. Disorientated and worried, Jared cornered Abby outside of their English class. "Where's Kim?" he demanded, too frantic to beat around the bush.
"At home," Abby said, scared of the huge, muscular youth glaring furiously down at her. It did not help that Jared had about a foot and half on her 5'2" frame.
"What's wrong with her?"
"She's a little under the weather," Abby hedged. "Jared, I have to go." She tried skirting around him but Jared slammed his palm into the wall by her head. She yelped and jumped back; his palm had left an imprint in the wall.
"What does 'under the weather' mean?" Jared said harshly.
"She doesn't feel up to school today," Abby said. "She exhausted and Jimmy's got a cold. She's stayed at home to look after him. Please, Jared," Abby trembled, "let me go."
Jared looked down at the tiny girl in front of him – she barely made it to his ribcage – and she was scared as hell of him. He took his hand away from the wall slowly, running his hand through the stubble that covered his cranium. "Sorry, Abby. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just not like Kim not to be here, you know? I guess it's just got me off-kilter."
Abby looked at him, less scared now he was not backing her into a wall, yet still wary. "You really like her, don't you?"
"Yes," Jared said, letting Abby see it in his eyes.
"Then why didn't you even look at her before?" Abby asked, her tone getting sharp as she stuck up for the friend that had done so much for her.
"I didn't have my eyes open before," Jared said. He sighed. "Sorry, Abby. I didn't want to scare you. Let me walk you to your next class – prove I'm not a thug."
Abby smiled tentatively. "Okay. Just, don't put your hand through anymore walls and we're good."
"Yeah, about that. Could you not mention that to anyone?" Jared asked.
"Okay," Abby said slowly. "So... are you doing steroids? That's what everyone thinks, and it would explain the rage."
Jared laughed harshly. "I wish it was steroids – then it would be something I could quit. No, Abby, I've just...had to come to terms with who I am, that's all."
"And a huge bouncer for La Push is who you are?" Abby asked. She had heard about the meth dealers – everyone had.
"Pretty much. Abby," Jared said, stopping suddenly. "Would it be alright if I gave you a lift home from school today? I need to talk to Kim and since you live with her I might as well."
"Okay, sure," Abby agreed easily enough. "How come you know I'm living with Kim now?"
"Oh," Jared dodged. "You know, La Push grapevine, it's a small town after all."
"Yeah, it is," Abby said sadly.
"It is true? That your mom ran off with the Jerome guy from the surf shop?"
"Yeah. It's also true my dad's an alky," Abby said harshly, waiting for the bitching.
"Wow, that sucks," Jared said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Abby looked at him – he was being sincere. "It's okay. I mean it's not but my dad's going to get sober, and my mom was always the town slut. I knew she would leave eventually. But then my dad will be okay and it'll be just me and him, like it pretty much always was."
"That's cool," Jared said.
"It will be," Abby said.
"You have a lot of confidence it will happen," Jared said.
"I have a lot of faith in the people I know. I know my dad won't let things end this way. And I know that I'll okay until then – Kim and Leanne are amazing. They let me in without blinking an eye. They're just really good people, you know?"
"Yeah, if her mom's like Kim then I bet they are."
"So if you hurt Kim, I'll kill you," Abby stated.
Jared looked over – that had come out of the blue. "What do you mean?"
"I saw you and Paul yesterday doing your little winking, thumbs up guy thing. Let me tell you right now so there's no confusion: Kim's probably the kindest, most loyal person you will ever meet. She may not be sweet and nice like Sam's famous Emily but she does what matters – she's there when it counts and she'll never let you down if she cares for you. And if you don't treat her in the exact same way, if you let her down or hurt her or don't treat her like the fucking princess she deserves to be treated like I will personally remove every inch of your skin with white-hot pincers, you understand?"
Jared nodded mutely. He did not underestimate the fierce look in Abby's eyes. "I would never hurt Kim, Abby."
"You better not, Jared Lane. Because I'm not the only one that would beat you to death if you did."
"She really does inspire loyalty, doesn't she?" Jared said.
"When someone cares for you as entirely as Kim does, it's hard not to feel the same way. I love her – she's the sister I never got. She's my best friend."
"I'll look after her, Abby, I swear it," Jared said fervently.
"I guess that will have to do then," Abby said. "This is me," she said, pointing to the door on their right.
"Okay. I've got Government last, what about you?"
"Biology, next door," Abby said.
"Right, I'll meet you outside your building at the end, okay?"
Abby nodded. "Okay. See you later, Jared."
"Bye, Abby. And thanks."
"For what?"
"For letting me near Kim."
"It's alright, just don't let me down."
"I won't." Jared turned back the way he came and had to run to Gym.
"Where have you been?" Paul hissed. "You're late."
"I know, I had to talk to Abby."
"Who?" Paul asked.
"Kim's friend. I'm going to see Kim after school."
"I guess I'm busing it home, then," Paul grumbled. Since they had become pack brothers they had been car-pooling. Today was Jared's day.
"Sorry, man. Why don't you come with us to Kim's?"
"Because I have better things to do than sit with baby and some girl I've never talked to while you pledge your undying heart to a girl you only realised existed two days ago!"
"Sorry, Paul," Jared said, slightly taken aback. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, it's you guys being in my freaking head with all your imprinting, love forever crap that's the problem. You guys have no idea how weird it is to dream of a girl you are not remotely interested in!"
"Who did you dream about, Kim or Emily?" Jared asked, pretending to be completely calm.
"Usually it's Emily after being on patrol with Sam when he's got lucky which, let's face it, happens a lot."
"Yeah, I remember," Jared said. He realised he had not had a freaky Emily dream since he had imprinted on Kim. He had not even looked at another girl. Interesting.
"Yeah, well, last night it was your girl and I'd rather not talk to her after that!" Paul grouched.
"Why?" Jared asked, his fingers balling the T-shirt he had just pulled over his head, his knuckles white. "What happened?"
Paul was too pissed off to recognise the warning signs in anyone else. "Everything, man! I dreamt about having sex with her, about marrying her, for god's sake. She's a nice girl, man, maybe a little plain, but overall okay, but I do not want to thinking about that when I finally have to meet her. Things could become...awkward."
"Because...?"
"Dude, I don't want to think about your girl naked!" Paul whined. That did it. Jared's nerves, already frayed over his own lack of success with Kim, snapped. Growling, he grabbed Paul by the throat and flipped him over his shoulder. Spinning, he crouched over Paul, snarling, his knee on Paul's chest, stopping his brother from getting up. His hands trembled and his vision went blurry as he fought the change – he could not change in such a public place. But, Gods, he wanted to rip Paul's throat out. The primal need to eliminate the competition rose up in Jared. Even as he fought to keep his human guise, Jared had never felt so wolf.
"Whoa, man," Paul said, putting his hands up in surrender. "Just keep it together, Jay. It's okay. I would never do that to you. It's not like I would stand a chance anyway."
"What do you mean?" Jared snapped through bared teeth.
"Didn't you see her wall, dude? All those drawings she did? Half of them were of you – just because you didn't see her until this week doesn't mean she's been so blind." There was sweat on Paul's brow and Jared could smell the fear in him – fear, not anger. Paul really thought Jared would hurt him. Of course he did – they both knew what happened to Emily when Sam lost it and that was to the one he loved, not the threat to his love.
Thinking about that, those scars grafted onto Paul's skin, living with the guilt he had felt in Sam's thoughts every time they were in their wolf form, Jared forced himself to calm down. He thought of Kim, of those drawings. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and let it out again. He took his knee off Paul's chest, standing up. Opening his eyes again, he saw Paul still lying on the floor, watching him warily. Jared reached down, offering his brother his hand. Paul took it and Jared pulled him to his feet, pulling him into a guy-hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered, barely audible in his shame.
"It's okay, bro," Paul said, clapping him on the back. They broke apart. "No harm, no foul, right?"
Jared smiled weakly, scared at how close he had come to killing Paul with his bare hands. "Right."
They looked up to see they had an audience. Every other guy in the locker room, in various states of undress, was looking at them gobsmacked. One guy's trousers slipped from his nerveless fingers and pooled around his ankles. They had all seen Jared flip Paul over his shoulder and pin him on the floor. No one had missed the bestial look on Jared's face or the anger that rolled off him in near palpable waves, as he crouched looking like he would murder his best friend right there and then.
The Coach pushed through the crowd. "What's going on here?" He knew exactly what had happened – he had seen Paul's legs as they wheeled in the air.
"Nothing, sir," said Paul, apparently unscathed.
"Nothing, sir," Jared echoed, unable to make eye contact.
"Nothing, huh? Then why is everyone else staring at you like you're Rocky Balboa, Lane?"
"I don't know, sir," Jared said.
"My office, Lane. Now!"
"But sir," Paul began.
"Can it, Matthews, and finish changing. That goes for all you ladies," the Coach barked. Nobody moved so he gave a short blast on his whistle. "NOW!"
Jared followed him mutely to his office. Looking down he saw his still had his shirt in one white-knuckled hand. He took the shirt in the other hand and flexed his hand. The knuckles burned in protest as the blood returned to them but the pain faded as they returned to their normal colour.
"What was that, Lane? And don't tell me nothing. You and Matthews have been inseparable since he came back to school. So, what was it, drugs?" The Coach eyed Jared's form. There was not an ounce of fat on the kid. It was not natural.
"No, sir, not drugs," Jared said, looking at the floor.
"Look at me, Lane, not your feet," Coach barked. Jared met his gaze and his teacher was struck by the haunted look in his eyes – the kid was putting himself through hell right now. "A girl," he asked his voice softer than before but still brooking no argument.
Jared nodded. "Right," the Coach sat behind his desk. "Of course it's a girl. What's this girl's name?" He expected Jared to name one of the cheerleaders that usually hung around his type – his boys were always getting into fight over those girls and their short skirts.
"Kim Lincoln, sir," Jared said.
Coach Tyler could not place her. "And what was the fight about?"
Jared knew better than to try to brush it off or lie to the Coach – he was a human lie detector and took no bullshit. "Paul had a dream about her, sir. I haven't exactly been successful with her and I guess I lost my temper. It won't happen again."
"It better not, and not just because the two of you are the size of wrestlers now and it would destroy my locker room. Jared, you may like this girl, but Paul's like a brother to you – everyone can see that. You don't want to lose him over this girl."
"No, sir. But I don't want to lose her either."
"She must be something special," Coach said. Dear God, his former track star was completely infatuated.
"She's incredible, sir. I love her." It was the first time he had said the words aloud to anyone, no imprinting to confuse the issue. He loved her and he had said it. It felt good.
"I see," Coach Tyler looked down at his hands, thinking, before looking up at Jared again. "Well, then, you need to get your temper under control – no woman should have to be with a man that can't keep his hands still when he's pissed off."
"Yes, sir, I know, sir." Better than you could ever realise.
"Is everything else alright?" Coach Tyler had not been able to talk to Jared much recently. He had been a cocky little bastard at times, but he stuck to his guns and poured his heart into everything he did – Coach could not have asked for more. He had been out of school for almost a month – there had been talk about him coming back but then that Paul character had gone off sick, too, and Jared had not come back until Paul had.
"Yes, sir," Jared said. It was not a complete lie, the lack of sleep kind of sucked but on the whole he was doing fine again. Being a shape shifter felt almost normal to him now and he revelled in the strength and speed of his wolfen form. The rocking bod he had now was not exactly a bad thing either.
"Have you thought about what I said?"
"Yes, sir."
"And?"
"I can't do it, sir." One of the first things Jared had done when he came into school on Monday was to go to Coach and tell him that he could not run track anymore. He was giving up his ticket out of La Push, telling the man that had pushed and trained him for years that it had all be for nothing – in his senior year, just before the final hurdle, he was packing it all in. At the time Coach had been confused and pissed off. He had pushed Jared so hard because he knew the kid could deliver, could go to college on a scholarship and become something. Three days later, seeing Jared messed up over a girl, having nearly torn out the throat of his best friend, confused and scared, Coach wondered whether there was more to this than the doctor telling Jared it was not safe to run anymore.
"Jared, you know I'm still your Coach, right? I'm still here, pushing you to be the best. Still here for you."
Jared nodded. Jesus he needed to get out of here before he did something really embarrassing like cry – everything was crashing on top of him and he could not deal anymore. He wanted to run, just get on that track and run like he used to.
"Go on, kid," Coach knew when to push and when not to. If he poked Jared anymore, the poor kid would shatter, Coach Tyler could see it. "Get out of here. I want you running today, you got that?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Jared met his Coach's eyes briefly before leaving the office. The locker room was empty – everyone else had changed and got out as soon as possible.
Jared changed quickly, tying up his shoes and flexed his muscles. It would be nice to run again just to run. Not because he had a vamp to chase, or because he had patrol to run. Just running to run, to let his mind wander and work through what he had going on through his head.
Without looking at the rest of the class, lining up for basketball, Jared stretched then took off around the track. His steady pace was so much faster than it used to be but he was not tired. He could run like this for hours. He needed to.
"What are you ladies looking at?" Coach barked from the door. "Jared's taken so why don't you forget about it and get yourselves into teams."
Jared laughed – Coach was rough around the edges but he knew what to say and when.
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