Quick notes: No New Spoilers
Chapter Ten: Age-old Advice
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Well I was just asking for some advice from you, Jiraiya said it would be a good idea. Did I say something wrong?" She had been looking at me like I had a second head ever since I started asking for help. She looked between her empty glass and her full bottle of sake for the thousandth time since I entered her office.
"Shizune, get in here. Now!" She was tense, she was confused, and she was having one of the largest headaches of her life if the way she held her head was any indication.
"Yes Lady Tsunade? What seems to be the problem?" Shizune was bright and cheerful this morning. She smiled at me and gave a short wave. "Oh hello there Naruto."
"Shizune, sit. Naruto, I want you to start from the beginning, Shizune, you're going to tell me this is real after he finishes." The dark haired girl seemed to not understand why she was given her direction as much as I did, but nonetheless she sat at one of the free chairs in the room. "Ok Naruto, ask away."
"Oh, er- right! Well I was with Sakura yesterday, we went to visit Kakashi in the hospital, and-" The Lady Hokage stopped my story with a burning glare. "Right, cut to the chase. Well anyway, before I went home she asked me if I wanted to take her out, like on a date, tonight after her shift at the hospital. Well I was talking with Jiraiya and asked if he had any advice to give for tonight." Before I knew it both women had fire in their eyes and were waving fists in the air. "Wait! He only gave me two pieces of advice, so before you try and skin him alive, hear me out. The first part I understand, and it's pretty obvious when I look at it. He told me, very bluntly I might add, that taking her out for ramen would be a bad idea." This seemed to calm them down a bit; the pair of fists stopped their violent shaking.
"And what other advice did my old teammate give you Naruto. I agree with his first bit of advice, but that man can only come up with so much before the perversions set in."
"Huh? Oh well the second thing he suggested to do, that I never would have thought of was to ask you for advice. I mean I don't know anything about what happened to her during the last few years, and she was with you that whole time, so maybe you know something I might not. So Granny-Tsunade? Do you have any advice for me on where Sakura might like to go on a date?" It was quiet. Too quiet. I looked at each of them, first Tsunade, then Shizune. Neither moved. Neither blinked.
"I haven't been drinking, and I know I just heard that Jiraiya gave good advice, not once but twice in the same day. Something is wrong here." The blonde girl was staring at her empty glass now, probably wondering how much she should have today or something.
"So uh do you have any good suggestions for me?" I gave a small nervous chuckle. These two are starting to scare me, why aren't they moving, and why are they staring at me like that! "What? Is there something on my face or something?"
"What, oh no Naruto, nothing like that. It's just that well, we both never expected him to actually have any advice about women that isn't, well, perverted." The Hokage had a point. Even I was wary of the advice he was going to give me. "But advice for you well let me think." She stared at her bottle. "Hmm, something Sakura would like?" Why would she be eying her sake like that? Unless, wait no she wouldn't.
Shizune looked over at me then back at her master. "Um perhaps Lady Hokage we should pull her file. With all the notes you make you must have surely put something in her file about what she likes." Why would Shizune's head twitch like that, towards Tsunade's desk? Wait, she wants me to swipe the sake when the old hag's back is turned. Good idea.
"Really? You mean there might be something in her file that could help me? That's great!"
Tsunade decided to make a grab for her sake before we could. This is not good, drunken advice is always bad. Very very bad. "Yes! Now Shizune, before we go sifting through her files I need you to go hide this with the rest of my stash."
We stared. Something is wrong in this world if Tsunade, the Legendary Sucker, the Drunken Gambler of the Leaf is saying put away the booze. However, without a second guess, Shizune took the bottle away. When the door closed behind her it was quiet. "Okay Naruto, I want you to listen up and listen good! You may be like a little brother to me, but Sakura, she's like the daughter I never had. I'm glad you came to me for advice because I won't give you bad advice. So you are going to be a gentleman tonight. That means no pestering her for a kiss or a hug. You are going to be polite and you are going to dress up." She wants me to dress up, well I admit that it wouldn't be the best of ideas to go out in my mission clothes, but what would I dress up in? "Don't even start asking questions, we only have about fifteen minutes before she gets back, and I need to inform you of quite a few things. Here take this." Why would she give me an envelope? "Don't open it now; think of it as a gift. Use what's in it to buy yourself a decent pair of pants and a button up shirt. I don't really care what color you choose, but keep it simple, so nothing more complicated than one or two colors. Now as for where you go, and what you do, well that is a bit tricky. I know how little money you must have, so you're going to have to keep it cheap, which isn't always best. What you need to do then Naruto is offset the fact that it's cheap by making it thoughtful. What that means is choose a place you can afford that she will most definitely like. Tonight I suggest that you take a walk through the park, avoid the gate that Sauske left by and visit the top of the Hokage Monument. Try and be there around 9:30. There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, and from above the Fourth's head, well the view will be perfect. I can't stress how much you have to avoid kissing her tonight. I don't care how much you want to or she looks like she wants to. Let me spell it out now before you start asking questions. If you kiss her tonight, nothing will change. She might enjoy it, or she might hate it. Or worse, if you kiss you could take it as a sign that it's okay to do so at any time, and that will get you punched. If she is interested in kissing you, she'll ask you out on another date. And even then you're going to let her make the moves. Sakura is a strong woman Naruto. She needs to know you're going into this thinking with your heart, not your dick."
"Ah Shizune good bring that file over here and lets take a look." This old woman scares me. The way she makes it seem is that if I mess this up and Sakura doesn't kill me she will. "Hmm, let's see now shall we? Okay, here's something, it says: Took Sakura out for dinner after training today. She said she wasn't hungry; however she did order a selection of dumplings. It seems that her favorites were the ones with syrup coating. Note to self, next birthday, surprise her with some." She looked up from the page and grimaced. "Oops, looks like I forgot about that. Seems this is from shortly after you left the village, so there is a good chance she'll still like them."
"Oh Naruto, I just remembered something. Actually it goes back to that night after dinner. I asked Sakura why she wasn't eating anything with us Lady Tsunade, and she said it was all that wasabi we were putting on the food. She doesn't like spicy food." Shizune had a smile that matched Tsunade's.
"So there you have it brat, avoid spicy food and dumplings are a great idea. Now, Shizune, I need you to help Naruto out with something. He is going clothes shopping; you are going to make sure his selections are something that people would normally wear in a casual yet classy environment."
"You mean pants and a button up shirt? Maybe a tie?"
"Oh I never thought of that, and shoes he'll need new shoes and socks."
"And possibly a haircut too!"
Gah this is getting ridiculous, all these girls want to do now is play dress up. And I am no guinea pig. "Um Ladies? Hello?" They're still at it. I need to stop them now. "Shizune, Lady Tsunade, I'm sorry but I promised I'd meet Master Jiraiya for lunch, I'll have to go now." Golden silence filled the office. It filled the halls I walked along and it filled the staircases that I descended. By the time I reached the front door to the building I hadn't heard a sound come out of that office. They finally stopped arguing over what to dress me up in. As I set off for Ichiraku's I couldn't help but smile. I'm getting a free lunch. I'm getting free clothes. And if all goes well tonight, a girl that might love me. Life is good.
"Naruto! What did you just call me?" Well if it isn't good, at least it's interesting.
Author notes: Okay… so I sortta lied. I said I wouldn't update this story for a while because I would be working on a Sakura fic. Well I hit a snag on that. I have a name for it, and ideas from ever part where she interacts with Naruto, but not really how to start it. Thusly I will be attempting to start it ASAP. However whenever I get writers block on it, or as in this case good ideas for this fic, I will be working on this one. Point of note, while I have had suggestions for a name for Sakura's fic, I have chosen to use one of my own. I won't give out the title yet, because I've done that before and had someone steal it on me. So until I have chapter 1, it will be known as Sakura's fic.
Replies to Reviewers:
Forlong: I thank you for your name ideas, but sadly I have not chosen any of them. And as for your small threat, well it seems karma is in your favor as I've stubbed my toe and pinched my fingers every day this week and last.
Namikaze777: You have a lot of good things to say about my idea for two stories. But my plan is to treat each as their own individual tale. Sort of like looking at history from two different points of view. The events might be the same, but the insights and the emotions will be different and distinct. And your idea of waiting till the end to release it is a good idea. Personally if I was just a reader of this story I would want to read the 30 some odd chapters I expect there to be for this tale, and then read the other 30 from her view. But I'm also a man who gets impatient some times, and as such I can be sympathetic to people who might want to switch back and forth. As such, I'll give each person the choice, read one then the other. Or read both at the same time. This way if you want you can have your cake and eat it too.
Twin083: I'm glad you have stuck with me through all my chapters. And I will make an announcement when I release chapter 1 of Sakura's fic.