"How are your climbing skills?" he asks as they assess the cliff.
"Good. How are yours?"
Her habits as a scavenger mean she's expert at ascending and descending. It does not especially matter if the obstacles are manmade or natural.
"Passable," he says with a tone that is not his usual self-promotion.
"I'll go first and set the anchors?"
Kylo's command of the Force gives him compensating skills that overcome his deficits, but Rey's talents are less arbitrary. She manages to head up with minimal materials and does a very efficient job of laying places for anchoring so that shortly after she starts he is able to follow her. They are tethered in a way that if she loses her grip he can arrest her fall without relying on force powers. He hears her explain this strategy and confesses he is confident he could arrest a fall if she had one. She has no such confidence in her command.
Rey gains height with seeming effortlessness. Her companion makes slower but determined advances of his own. As the day stretches the work and strain of gaining altitude narrows their focus. As they reach a reasonable plateau, he calls an end to the day's progress. Making the camp, he has her set the tent as he makes their food. It's only a few days but the routine is simple.
"I feel the hum of the crystals now," she tells him as she is eating. "It's pronounced."
Kylo Ren nods in response. "I notice it. Have you been following it during the climb, today?"
"Yes." She didn't consult, but was fairly certain he expected her to do this.
"Do you know anything about the crystals we are moving towards?"
Rey has mostly felt it as a tickling thrum in the pit of her stomach. Something giddy and encouraging that is like an emotion except she knows it is a thing drawing her. She fumbles for words and then she moves his hand to her temple in an invitation for him to experience it. He slides into her and unlocks more than she's recalled.
"Gold," he sighs as he pulls back. "You are seeking yellow crystals."
It wasn't obvious to her that she'd received images until he says it aloud.
"Does it mean anything special?"
"There is an suspicion that the colors come with intrinsic strengths that match the Jedi, but no one has ever spent time exploring this aspect that I've discovered, and too few exist at any more to make a reasonable investigation of the facts."
"When we find them, how will I cut them?"
"You will fight the effect of the thrall, but still allow the song to help guide your blade." He pulls a device from his pack. It is small plasma cutter. "I am keeping this because the closer we get the more your self-control will degrade."
"I'm not careless."
Despite her words, she feels strong pull. Even now, she wants to continue climbing at night despite knowing how dangerous that type of travel on unfamiliar ground would be. She holds out her hand to examine it. She confirmed how it operated, then turned it off and returned it to him.
"Once you have them, you store them and we climb back down. Then you use the space at the cabin to fashion your lightsaber. Do you understand the basic design of the weapon?"
"I examined the parts of Luke's saber. I understand how it works."
"Do you need any further information on the design or assembly?"
Rey feels confident she can produce the workings. "We build it before we depart?"
"You build it, he corrects. Tradition," he imparts. "If you prefer, we can skip ceremony and build it away from Ilum."
"Did you make yours in that cabin?"
"Yes."
"Does it matter?"
"I don't think so," he shrugs. "I dislike ritual for ritual sake, but there is more about the kyber than is easily explained. There could be a purpose behind the practice. If you want to follow the practice, do it."
"You built your weapon after you joined Snoke."
"Yes," he acknowledges. "I was fully vested with the dark side when I created the broadsaber."
"Can I see it, again?" she asks.
He palms the hilt and passes it to her. Staring into it will sting her eyes. There is a white hotness below the red veil and it is intense. She feels soothed by the energies coiling around her. The hissing static of his blade keens. His hands cover hers and he extinguishes the ferocious fire. She sighs as it goes out.
"It's so much a part of you."
She's lets out a low breath. The song within the weapon even briefly calms her. "You feel it, too. Blades can be used by any wielder, but Jedi create bonds with the weapon they build from this quest. You've shown affinity towards two weapons you did not make."
"Next time we play tug of war," she isn't being bitter or challenging.
"Start the meditation," he tells her. She moves to take a seat and rather than sit across from her, he places himself directly behind. She can lean back against his chest. His breath against the back of her neck makes loose hairs brush against sensitive skin. His lips touch the shell of her ear briefly, but he does not further encroach.
Rey shivers at the touch but follows his instruction. Every muscle is weary. She wants to rest but finds the required tension and balance that will instigate her fall into the flow of energies. Their bond wakens and it pulses through her body. She slips into a vision. A piece of history, she realizes because the vision is of a younger, happier Kylo Ren. He's shirtless, lighter in the frame than his current self, no scars across his chest. He's dueling with staff against another young man. They are fighting fiercely but without anger. They trade barbs but there is friendly challenge. There is less gravity to Kylo in this earlier version. His eyes are unserious.
"His name was Bailin," Kylo supplies to her unasked question.
"Was?" she hears the misgiving.
"I killed him the night I destroyed the Temple. I would not allow him to stop me."
"He was your friend," she sees it easily in the small vision of his past.
"If I ever had any, he was one," Kylo's phrase hints at his doubts and this makes Rey wonder. Her first presumption is he doubts her friendship, but revizes her assumption. He distrusts his feelings and memories of that time.
She seeks for the sources of uncertainty. They liked the same girl. They competed and Bailin kissed her first. Ben had been jealous, disappointed, pricked by the way he was bested. The rest are half-heard suspicions and unchecked paranoia. Rey sees Snoke's hand and realizes that it wasn't rhetorical about his infection of Ben's mind. His taint polluted the young man's mind. Fed his fears and anger.
"I didn't realize this when it was happening. Now that Snoke is gone, I can see it," Kylo tells her. "It is still hard because the memories of people and events happened with that lens."
"How did he try to poison you with regards to me?"
Kylo Ren shifts. "He berated me for failing to overcome you. He made me feel inferior."
These are difficult for him to admit. They are raw and sensitive areas, but the very things that gave Rey the capability to have such comparisons made draw his attention. He was challenged by her strength and potential. He was drawn even as he feared the comparison.
"You regret acting under Snoke's influence?"
Kylo shudders noticeably. "I am responsible for what I have done. He manipulated me, but I failed to see through his orchestrations." He blames himself.
She twists and touches his face lightly. It would be easy to deflect, but he carries his burdens. Further arguments are futile.
"We'll reach the crystals tomorrow," she tells him.
Kylo nods and forgets to return to meditation. He lets his hand find hers and this simple contact travels through her. Rey isn't used to the way it holds her in more ways than one, but she likes it.
When she first encountered Finn he'd grabbed her hand repeatedly, succeeding only in irritating her. It's different with Kylo.
"Will you treat me this way after we leave here?" She wondered.
He takes stock of how they are. His hand squeezes gently but he doesn't voice reassurance. Separated, they can achieve the pale phantom of this level of contact. It had seemed more solid before coming to Ilum.
/&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&/
As the morning carries on Rey becomes more and more locked in on the action at hand. Kylo is working to keep pace with her climb and if she even remembers she has company she hasn't shown it. She is single-minded as the thrum gets more distinct. Like a magnet she is pulled and she is practically racing, now. When she hits the ledge she impatiently unhooks her gear. As Kylo gets level ground her eyes are casting fixed stare to an opening in the cliff. His hand on her shoulder startles her.
"Take a deep breath, apprentice," he commands her. "I know you feel it. Steady, now. Look. At. Me." Those last three words with more force because he can see he isn't reaching her.
"Kylo," her eyes are dilated. She's flushed. Her mind is scattered and she's driven, but he forces her to regroup.
"Remember why you are here. Do you remember?"
"I need a crystal to make my light saber," she is hunting for each word. Struggling to hold his gaze. Her hands are flexing she is jittery.
"I am going to help you do this," he tells her clearly. "Hold while I remove this gear. Count down from 100."
"What? Why?" The idea of delay is distressing.
"Do it, Rey," his tone goes hard. "Count."
Rey begins the numbers in a tight voice but she's stuttering. The effects are very much riding her and it is all she can do to handle simple instructions. She tries to concentrate so that she is counting, breathing and trying to release the tension.
"The pull is strong," she stammers at 75. He concedes with verbal hum. He is unfastening his gear as quickly as he can and while it is faint by comparison he notices a tremor in his hands that he attributes to the pull of the crystals.
"I am going to tether you to me so we stay together. It is to keep you safe. Nod that you understand."
Her head makes a short tense bob. He clips the same lines that connected them around her. It is crude, but should allow him to arrest the worst of her mad dash. If this doesn't suffice he'll reign her in by paralyzing her motions.
"I know there is only one thing you can focus on right now, but prepare what you need for the cave ahead. Get out your light."
She is practically in tears with her frustration to move ahead but she's only down to 40 and he's making his own provisions to handle her. When she is at the final twenty he stands before her and tries to have her slow her breathing. The pull is tearing at her.
"Easy," he finally gives her leave to move forward.
Testing the limits of the line he's placed on her she is able to navigate far more easily than him. The uneven ceiling and tight passages do not give him ease. He feels his skin crawl at the cramped spaces as they make their way into the depths.
Still stuttering, "Y-y-you d-don't like-k-k c-c-c-on-ff-ff-inement."
He grumbles at her capacity to pick up something from his usually well guarded psyche. "No. I don't. We must be close given how you are reacting."
"H-horrible," she sputters because it is horrible is too many syllables.
"Yeah."
The act of moving, of knowing she is getting closer, takes a bit of the edge off of the insistent demand that has overtaken her. Rey cannot even fume over those minutes where Kylo commanded her like the Supreme Leader he is, to count. Treated her like a fucking child. She's mad about that but not mad enough to say anything or lash out.
Now he has this rope locked around her. Clever bastard has secured it with a lock that will take time to undo. Instead, she will pull him along after her. Without even thinking she's moved as far ahead as the line will let her.
The hum is a sound, a vibration, verging on a feeling. It gets her wound tighter. So close, and if she can just reach it…. A slow drunk part of her reminds her she wants to cut a piece free so she can forge her weapon. For a long time she'd imagined these sabers were an accessory that went with the outfit. Nothing more than a part of the mystique of being Jedi. Luke's light sword had called her and it had saved her life in the forest on Star Killer base. Here, on Ilum, she's gotten the quieter link that Kylo forged with his. The broad-saber is connected to him and the Force flows through it when he uses it. She wants that, now.
Ahead she can hear rumbling but only as she comes into the cavern and her headlamp bobs at the undulating wall does she figure it out. The underground river is flowing quickly through unfollowable caverns that intersect the ones they've been walking. If she had not pointed at it, he would not have sensed the opening behind. Damn. No way to stay dry while doing this.
"Strip your coat, gloves, and hat."
The pained expression makes him start enacting his instructions while she stands there mute. "You need something dry when you come back out or you'll freeze."
"Is it within rope length?" His attempts to shine the light bounce back without revealing anything helpful.
"I don't know," she holds out her hand and he passes her the cutter.
"Talk to me while you cut so I know you're still with me," he instructs.
Gathering up the slack in the line she tentatively steps forward. The idea of moving into the wall of water is a bit daunting to her desert born senses, but the call cannot be ignored. She slides forward and as she emerges on the far side she's shivering but is not caught in the darkness she expected. As she comes out of the waterfall, the small cave is glowing.
Large spiky clumps of yellow crystal thrum and sing to her. She wants to let it wash over her senses, but the cold of her skin disrupts the euphoria. There is a pull at the line still gripped in her one hand and faintly she can hear him calling her.
"It's here," she formulates. This causes the tugging motion to subside.
Walking towards the soft glow, the line plays out and she looks at it irritated. There is no way she will reverse direction and revise his plan. Stupid plan anyway. She looks at her other hand, and flicks it on and slices the line. Enough of that.
What did he tell her? How does she do this? Sing. She has to sing back to the stones. Her chilled, overworked system chokes out her first effort, but she takes a breath and then finds note. The faint first sound of it causes the crystals to bloom with stronger light. She strengthens her effort and the living stones answer her with welcome.
Fumbling with the plasma cutter, she becomes aware that a shirtless Kylo Ren has made his way into the cavern. Shaking off the water and relieved to see her. His eyes snap to the resonating shards but straight back to her. She ignores him and moves forward. He'll make her stop if she doesn't do what she came for…she doesn't want him to interrupt.
"Hold the note," he tells her. "It will guide your cut."
They never talked about size or shape of what she would cut but she knows the casing that holds the shard, and has a sense of what she'll need. The hot light of the cutter descends into the gold glass and the hum she hears back alters, and she panics that it will become distressed and angry. If her hands are unsteady or waver it will destroy the perfect matrix that built in the depths of these caves. Calm, she needs to stay in control. Control. The words echoes in her head that can barely hold onto any thoughts while she does this.
Kylo has come up alongside her. He holds delicate forceps. With them he lifts away the product of her cut, the treasure of her quest. A small piece that will come away with her. She wants to hold it but he deposits it inside a small foam cradle in a box.
"It's here." He speaks in brief direct sentences. "It's safe. Let's go."
Rey reaches for the container. She wants it. He withholds.
"It's safe. Follow me out."
"I want it," she stammers.
"Not until…"there's more but she hears no and the rest fuzzes."…mountain."
"Kylo," she bursts as her hands reach and he easily moves it beyond her outstretched hands.
"Follow me."
He has taken the cutter back, and she looks back at the stones. Maybe she can… She feels darkness overtake her as her knees collapse.
A/N Sorry if the end is a little disjointed. I wrote it from his point of view at first. One more chapter for this item. Thank you for the reviews and words of encouragement.