Standard Disclaimer: KA and the legends are soooo not mine. The craziness of the characters is the only thing I own. Bad Language, Violence and Possible Sexual Scenes Warning. Don't like it, don't read.

A/N: Chapter 10…FYI this one gets a little emotional. I was having a helluva time trying to write this. Oh yeah, there is some rather graphic language in this chapter, if you get offended by that type of thing, I suggest skipping over that little section. I'll let you know when it comes up.

Before I forget, there are some themes regarding sexual orientation, again if you are offended, turn back now.

Losing Grip

The sunlight poured from the window waking me with its harsh brightness, groaning in cuddled closer to Gareth's warm tunic covered chest. It was comfortable in his arms, not only does he respect me, but he's a total sweetie! He doesn't try to force sex on me and I love him for that… yeah… I love him. Placing a chaste kiss on his neck I wiggled into his encircling warmth. I really do love this man.

A screech sounded making me look to the window at Tristan's hawk. Gareth woke groggily, and I bristled.

"Argh! Gaad damned bird!" I yelled throwing another pillow at the bird, which instinctively flew away and the pillow went out the window. "Damnit."

"Lose another one?" Gareth asked nuzzling my neck. He pulled me closer to his warmth, under normal circumstances my anger would've melted, but I was already irritated.

"How many times have I told that damned scout to make sure that stupid bird of his leaves me alone?" I huffed, "He knows I hate slash (yeah, I really do say slash when talking about two things sometimes) fear birds and still he lets it wake me in the morning." I threw off the covers in attempts to give Tristan a piece of my mind.

"Should you really go out like that my love?" Gareth's husky voice asked from the bed. "The view is nice and I'm sure the others would approve, if that is your wish." I looked down and realized I was only wearing my thin black tank and boy shorts underoos. Giggling I conceded to forgiving Tristan this once.

Six long months inched by at a tortoise-like pace. Although Argon agreed to let me be one of his apprentices, it didn't mean that he liked me. I mean he gave me one probationary year and if I haven't proved to be worth my salt he would send me back to Finn 'crying like the weak little lass I was'. So far I managed to prove him so wrong, I somehow managed a system to evenly dole out the work amongst the apprentices and Argon which would pull up profits. He won't admit it, but I checked his books (when he wasn't around) and I improved his business twice as much.

Charity would occasionally stop by to annoy me, but THANK GOD for Vanora. If it weren't for Bors' lover keeping the platinum blonde bitch queen busy, I would've throttled her by now. Really, there is only so much I can take. And Vanora has actually gotten Charity to work; I mean the whole serving drinks, cleaning up, etc. VANORA IS BRILLIANT!

Brat (the little 12 year old I "saved") is also a godsend, despite the attitude and rough edges; she handles the domesticities that I could never do in a million billion years. She has become more of a sister than my hired help.

One tiny hitch though, I've had to endure Gareth noticing the little things that shouldn't be noticed. For example, I'm supposed to have scars from when the Woads first attacked, but since I don't, this has roused Gareth into questioning me. Not good. Also, any ow's, hurts, pains or bruises from before my trip through time have not healed in any way shape or form. I've got a skinned right knee when I tripped on the carpet before all this, I'm not worried, but I get the occasional worried looks from the healers, Dagonet and Darren because it really hasn't changed… I've taken to being extra careful just in case.

If I thought the weather was bad in my time with the accessibilities to modern conveniences, it is nothing, I mean NOTHING compared to … well the past, I guess. Winters were absolutely horrible, bitterly cold that I spent most of my time working in the forge just to stay warm when Gareth wasn't around. Or in Arthur's small library improving my knowledge and writing daily in my notebook.
During the long months I had gotten to know Vanora and love her like I did my older sister for that was what she was to me, an older sister. Under Arthur's tutelage, Brat and I learned to read and write in Latin in exchange for English, Spanish, and Arabic lessons. Why does it seem any deal I make the other party gets the better part?

I have started to become comfortable amongst the people of the fort, well except for most of the tavern girls, Argon and the Roman soldiers because my boyfriend is Sarmatian. Now really that's just RACIST!

There have been few Woad skirmishes during this time. This really confused the knights and Romans, but I was immensely pleased. It meant that my bargain was being honored, my friends were safe and everything would work out okay.

Gareth and I became closer (in a way) over this time and I learned something that was rather interesting… he is bisexual. I've never had a problem with it, I mean Sasha is bi too and he's my best friend, now I know another person that swings both ways. And ALTHOUGH, he loves me and is attracted to me, my boyfriend has the hots for a certain resident womanizing knight by the name of Lancelot. I think when he told me, our romance kinda fizzled into deep friendship, pity.

However, for the sake of appearance we were still boyfriend and girlfriend in title if not affection. It hurt me so much how, although as friends we were closer, the relationship between us suffered greatly. I just tried to do my best, really I did, but this ruse of a romance was just that, a hoax.

This ruse, sadly, did put a bit of a strain on me because I wanted something I couldn't really have… an honest relationship. This and other things led to a lot of arguments that didn't go unnoticed (just unspoken) by the others. On top of that, Argon had started to overwork me and demanded that I at least have the basics of swordplay before I could actually make a good sword, but Gareth refused to teach me or let any of the other knights do it.

"Why not? I'm pretty damn capable of learning it y'know."

"Ria, you know it's not that." He was tired of this argument, but it had to be had. "I will always be here to protect you."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You just don't want me to learn! I demand to know why!"

"Because I will be here for you, if not me then one of the others." His tone was exasperated and tight, but I refused to give up.

"What about my job Gareth? Didja consider that? Argon rejects my ability as a blacksmith because I cannot wield a sword! And therefore has declined to teach me more than mending and making fucking HORSESHOES!" I yelled. "What harm can come from teach me, hm?"

"What harm? What harm? Victoria, you are a woman, you already have gossip surrounding your life, you already have an uncommon line of work, and you already have difficulties dealing with people of this fort. And now you want to add to that?"

Oh no, he didn't just pull the sex card. I bridled with anger, "What does my being a woman have to do with anything? What do I care about the opinions of anyone else? There are women who fight Gareth, you said so yourself, the Sarmatian women pick up arms and fight. I may not be Sarmatian, but I know I can do this. Know why? Because I'm different."

"I know you are different, but it's different here too." He tried to grip my shoulders, but I pulled away. "Does it make a difference if I'm concerned for you?"

"I'm not stupid y'know? I know things are different."

"I didn't say that. I'm saying that you don't understand the concepts here." Gareth desperately tried to reason, but I was too angry to see that.

"I do. And I intend to change them for the better." I shot back throwing a well-made Samartian dagger at the door next to his head.

He pulled the dagger and sheathed it in his belt. "What's in your head, girl? Think you can save the world? Hm?"

"Maybe I do. Maybe I want to help everyone I possibly can. What's wrong with that?" I could feel my voice getting hoarse, but I won't back down.

"You're just as naïve as Arthur." That stung, and it was written on my face and in my eyes.

"At least he does something about the injustices that are taking place. What are you doing?"

"I follow his lead because I am loyal to him. I don't give a damn about his cause; I know that he will lead me well."

"If you didn't care about his cause, why did you save me?" I hissed before storming out the room. I could hear him following me calling my name, demanding that I come back or at least wait for him. A few of the other knights poked their head out of their rooms telling us to keep quiet, it got so annoying that Percival ended up with a right hook to the jaw from me. Maybe I wasn't being reasonable, but I didn't care. All those who were smart stayed out of my way; those that didn't ran for their lives.

Somehow, Gareth caught up with me and dragged me back to his room kicking and screaming. Bors made a comment about putting me in my place, but all I could do was glare evilly and yell obscenities at the big man. Some stuff was actually bad enough to make even Bors blush.

Gareth finally put me down and I lunged at him trying to knock him against the wall so I could run out of there, but being that he was stronger than me by so much and wasn't moved an inch. So I started slamming my fists into his chest, face, abdomen, basically any part I could reach to inflict some kind of damage… even his goods, which made him react by pushing me back. I landed on the bed and tried to lunge him again. (A/N: This part basically is insult I could think of and get from my beta and Tracy 137, if you don't like it or if you get offended you can skip over this)

"You're a gawd-damned fucking bastard. I hate you!" I threw a chamber pot at him.

"Ignorant little bitch!" he caught it and set it down.

"Cock-sucking, father-fuckin' sunnvabitch!" I threw the plaster vase for water.

"Sniping pint-sized harpy!" He ducked and it shattered on the wall.

"Horse-faced, ogre-humping asshole!" I hurled his training sword at him.

"Wench!" He moved to the side and it stuck into the wood.

"Limp noodle!" I screamed heaving a drawer from the nightstand at him.

"Talentless whore!" He ducked again. From there, incoherencies were yelled in several different languages.

"I HATE YOU!" We both yelled at the same time panting and seething. The door was open to reveal a bewildered Jols and a few bemused knights.

"Um, Gareth you're needed in the Meeting Hall." Gareth somehow composed himself and nodded. "Ria."

"Hi." I croaked out. Gareth took one look at me and I could see it all in his face, he was mocking me! "Asshole!" I managed in a final croak as Jols closed the door.

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! I had long gotten over my anger of Gareth and was in the forge finishing the new armor for him I had started a while ago. Argon wasn't around so it was cool. I shouldn'tve reacted the way I did, and I probably shouldn'tve yelled at Bors and hit Percival. I had a few apologies to make when they were done with their meeting… it's been taking a while.

Finally I finished it, including the engravings of his tribe. I was proud of it, not only was it light but it was also durable and shiny. I had made plans to make all of the knights' new armor, given that I had time, but this was my apology to Gareth; especially since he doesn't know about it.

"Ria," Brat called me, "They're back." Who's back? The knights? I thought they were in a meeting. I guess I had been so absorbed I hadn't realized they left or I would've said good luck or something like that.

Wiping the sweat of the forges off my sooty brow I hurried to meet the knights with Gareth's present wrapped in oilcloth in my arms. I felt like I was beaming, this was the perfect gift for the most awesome best friend despite the quirks.

The normal chatter was absent the closer I got to the knights' courtyard, it confused and frightened me. With every step the tighter anxiety knotted in my stomach, my gut was telling me something was wrong and I quickened my pace. The crowd was there, but they were so sullen. As though they all sensed me, the crowd was parted directly to the knights.

There stood a stony-faced Arthur in my path. "Victoria…" He started, but my attention was diverted to the figures on the ground being nudged by two horses; a tan mare and dusky brown stallion. Dropping the new armor I rushed to the side of the mare, Gareth's mare, and lifted the cloth with shaky hands. Shock overcame me as I looked upon the blood splattered face of my knight in shining armor and my heart shattered. I uttered not a word as I stroked his hair and face gently… my mind couldn't wrap around it. My boyfriend, my best friend, my Gareth lay dead with a twisted peaceful look on his face, it was too much and I passed out in Lancelot's arms.

Sometime later I woke in my room at Argon's; my dreams had been filled with chaos and death. Groggy and lightheaded, I didn't recognize where I was and then realization hit me like a cannon ball to the stomach. I jumped up from my bed and bolted to the knights' quarters in my pajama top and boy short underoos.

I slammed open the door to find the dreaded truth. From the window of his... no not his anymore, from this room I could see the serfs digging in the knights' cemetery two graves, for Percival and Gareth.

"GARETH!" I screamed in agony, falling to my knees I wept all my emotions out in the tears that fell down my cheeks. Pain, anguish, heartbroken and above all… guilt. Last we spoke we were angry and said we hated one another. I fell asleep in his bed sobbing as I wrapped myself in his discarded tunic.

That was how Arthur and Tristan found me later, a crying mess. Arthur gently gathered me in his arms and soon his shirt was soaked through with my tears and snot.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I mumbled into his chest. He told me it was alright for me to grieve, that it was normal. "Who was it? Woads?" Tristan nodded solemnly… they had broke their pact, there will be retribution.

Percival and Gareth's funeral was a very grand and solemn affair. Words were said, hugs of solace were given and offerings to the gods and God were made. Even Charity was solemn and serious about the whole situation. Only I wasn't there, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Brat told me all about it, how Lamorak, Kay and Tinnius grieved for their family. I was urged to go to the funeral by Vanora, but Brat (bless her) told her I was in no condition. At least I wasn't in any condition to say good-bye, I was however strong enough to see the Woads. And Merlin had a lot to answer for.

A/N: Well, how was it? Good? Not good? Feedback is much appreciated. I'm working on the next chapter right now.

Thanks much to KnightMaiden, who was my only review for the last chapter… You definitely rock!