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Author's Note – I apologise on the delay of posting this. I hope you all enjoy it though.

Derek's Point of View

'Where did you say we were going again?' Meredith asks me for the fourth time since we got in the car.

'Once again, I-have-not told you where we are going and I-will-not tell you where we are going,' I laugh as she scowls at me from the passenger's seat while Zola has a snooze in her car seat.

'Derek, the social worker is...'

'...coming at 2,' I finish for her. 'I know. You keep telling me that and I keep reminding you of my first answer to that which was that I promise to have you back in time,' I breathe patiently. 'Just relax,' I whisper, reaching over and taking hold of her hand, trying to ignore the flinch she makes as I do so. 'Everything's going to be fine.'

'You keep saying that!' She snaps. 'Sorry,' she immediately groans afterwards. 'I would just feel better if we were at home so I could prepare...'

'So you could sit in the house and go over and over everything to the point you feel your heads about to burst just like the way you felt last night?' I ask lightly. 'Absolutely not Meredith,' I urge as I pull into an available parking space. Meredith is lost in thought and can't even see where we are. 'Hey,' I sigh, turning the engine off and turning right around, 'what do you say to Zola, you and I having a picnic and feeding the ducks?'

She finally looks around us and sees where we are. To my relief, she smiles.

'We could take her on the carousel?' she asks with a smile.

'Sounds good,' I smirk, enjoying the thought of a quiet lunch time with my two favourite girls before the chaos begins back at home – correction, Meredith's. I need to stop doing that. I would be lying if I was to say that I am not nervous about what this afternoon may bring but Meredith and Zola need me to be the calm one. It's kind of like the way you have to be in the OR; the panic and chaos happens around you with every case so it is my job as the surgeon to take control of the mayhem.

'I'm sorry,' Meredith murmurs softly, pulling me from my thoughts.

'What do you have to be sorry about?' I ask watching her closely.

'I didn't mean to seem ungrateful on the road here….'

'Meredith,' I sigh, reaching over and stroking her cheek, 'you have a lot going on. What you're doing for Zola is a huge deal. I would be worried if you weren't stressed and snappy. There's no need to apologise; I just want to help,' I smile, moving my hand away. I need to keep reminding myself that I MUST tread carefully.

'It's very much appreciated,' she admits.

'What do you say we wake her up?' I ask, nodding my head towards a sleeping Zola, 'and take her to feed the ducks?'

'I'll get the stuff out of the car,' she quickly jumps out the car laughing. 'You can be the one to wake miss grumpy pants from her nap!' she shouts from outside, still laughing.

Meredith and I may not be together but that doesn't mean I'm not happy spending days like this. I only hope there are plenty more to come.

Meredith's Point of View

This is exactly what I needed; that doesn't mean to say I like it when Derek's always right though. Watching Zola on the carousel with Derek, I snap pictures of the two of them as Derek lifts Zola's tiny hand to wave at me. They're both grinning from ear to ear. I had taken my turn with Zola on the carousel before and Derek had managed to take many good photos of the two of us from the moment I stood in the queue with her to when I lifted her off of the horse. In fact, Derek hasn't really stopped snapping pictures since we arrived at the park. There's a few already that he is desperate to print and frame; one of Zola and I crouched down on the grass, feeding the ducks and the other one is of the three of us sitting on the picnic blanket

'Is she yours?' I hear someone ask from beside me. I turn to see an older woman watching Zola giggle loudly as Derek whispers something to her from her place on his lap.

'Yes, she is,' I smile proudly. I love this part. I love when people come up and ask me if she is mine; she is, without a shadow of a doubt, my daughter. Whether the adoption has went through or not, she's mine. I feel it.

'She's beautiful,' the woman smiles at me for a second before turning back to watch Derek and Zola as they spin round the carousel on a pink and gold horse. You can tell Derek has no issues with his feminine side.

'Thank you,' I nod, aware that my little girl is now staring at Derek's hair. Please don't fall for that Zola. Please don't. Zola is not allowed to be fascinated with…uh-oh…she's pulling it. She's actually managed to reach up and pull it. The woman and I start to giggle.

'I always love that picture,' she admits quietly as we watch Derek tactfully take Zola's hand and unclasp it from his hair.

'What picture's that?' I ask softly, wondering what the hell she's talking about. She's barely taken her eyes off Derek and Zola as they spin in and out of our vision.

'A father and daughter together, laughing and giggling,' she confesses.

'Oh, I…' I start to correct her but the woman continues, oblivious of me trying to intervene.

'It's such a precious sight,' she whispers while I catch a glimpse of sadness in the corner of her eyes. I turn to watch Derek and Zola just as she does.

'I mean it's always nice to see a family together and I seen you all earlier, over on the grass having a picnic and you all looked so happy together, laughing and giggling,' she breathes. We watch as Derek lifts Zola's hands in the air while she laughs, giggles and stretches her head right back to catch sight of the funny faces Derek is making from behind her. 'But there is just…something when you see a little girl with her daddy, smiling, looking at him, knowing he is the most important man in their life; then there's the fact they have their daddy wrapped around their little finger,' she jokes.

'Are you ok?' I ask with genuine concern for this stranger. She's become very pale and I can see she looks tired.

'I'm fine dear,' she nods. 'Thank you for asking.'

I'm trying to think of something to say…but I can't. What do you say to a stranger who just randomly walks up to you and starts talking to you? Are you supposed to share your deepest darkest secrets with them? Are you supposed to stand, talking to them, trying to decipher what problems they have going on in their life and offer to help them?

'You have a wonderful family; one to be proud of,' she murmurs. 'Forgive me for being so bold but may I give you a piece of advice?'

'Sure,' I answer, unsure if I should say anything else. Although, what piece of advice could she possibly think she could give me about my family when she doesn't even know my name? All she's done is stand and watch us. Creepy. Wait – Did I just refer to Zola, Derek and myself as a family? I should have corrected this woman the moment she called us a family. Why didn't I?

'Don't let go,' she whispers so softly, I almost did not hear her.

'Excuse me?' I prod.

'Hold on for dear life and don't let go,' she answers, a little more firmly with a sense of determination. She's watching me closely again. It feels weird; as if she knows me.

'What…'

'Everything can be gone in a split second. Everything and everyone you love vanishes in an instant; right before your eyes…'

'Are you sure you're ok?' I ask again. This isn't normal. Is it?

'I know you must think I'm crazy but …I just…You have a wonderful family and you all look so happy which is a rarity these days with so many people getting divorced, kids hiding up in their rooms surrounded by so much technology that they wouldn't know what a pencil is if it hit them over the face. We're surrounded by more and more disasters each day,' she says thoughtfully. 'Anyway, I think I've taken up enough of your time.' She takes one last glance at Derek and Zola as I catch Derek give us a curious look.

'Wait!' I call as she walks away.

As I approach her, I wonder why I've called and stopped her in her tracks. It's obvious. It has to be.

'I'm sorry for your loss,' I whisper as she looks at me with surprise. 'I can't even imagine what you must be feeling.'

She's a mother. She has a mother's look about her.

'I'm sorry for being so sentimental,' she apologises. 'There are days where it catches up with me and today…watching the three of you…It has been nice to see. Like I said,' she smiles, 'you don't see it very often.'

'Thank you,' I nod sincerely. 'Can I ask…can I…'

'Car accident,' she answers, obviously knowing what I was trying to stutter out.

'I'm very sorry,' I whisper, wondering what this woman must be going through. I can't imagine her pain. If I lost Zola?...Derek?...I would be a wreck.

'It was twenty years ago today and I still remember every detail as if it was yesterday. My husband and I had been arguing. We were both spending too much time at work and not enough time with the kids; two daughter; Lucy was eight and Samantha was four,' she smiles with a look of pride in her eyes. 'They had their daddy wrapped round their little fingers. Anything they wanted, they would get. We made sure to teach the girls values though. They may have been spoiled but we were adamant they were not going to behave that way,' she laughs making me laugh too. 'We had decided to take the girls to see Cinderella at the theatre. They were both so excited. It was going to be our first family outing in months. My husband and I were both newspaper journalists and in order to stay at the top of the game, we had to sacrifice a lot of family time,' she explains as I wince, knowing all too well the sacrifice she is talking about, 'but when you start to miss the milestones in your kids' lives, the guilt you normally feel starts to consume you; it eats at you. It ended up being the cause of many of me and Matthew's rows.'

'I can only imagine,' I whisper, thinking about Derek and I and how our lives are owned by the hospital.

'Anyway, we were in the car, singing along to music. It was a cold winters' night and the snow was heavy. I told Matthew we should take a cab but he insisted he drove. He told me he knew what he was doing and to stop fretting. He even joked that I was turning into my mother,' she laughed. 'No woman ever wants to hear that,' she continues with a sad smile. 'We were all happily singing away. We never saw the other car coming. The car skidded on a large piece of ice on the road and hit us out of nowhere. My husband died instantly and my girls' died in hospital a few hours later,' she breathes as a single tear falls down her cheek.

'I am so sorry,' I murmur, watching as she brushes her tear away. What do I say? What else can I possibly say?

'How do you deal with it?' I ask her.

'The pain never goes away,' she confesses honestly. 'You just find a way to live with it.'

'I can't even begin to imagine. I really can't,' I breathe.

'You don't have to dear,' she sighs, reaching her hand out and rubbing my arm. 'You have a beautiful family over there. Don't waste a second,' she insists, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. 'Hold on and don't let go,' she murmurs with a smile and before I can say anything else, she's gone.

Derek's Point of View

Meredith had started behaving really strange when I came back from the carousel with Zola. At first I told myself it was because of the social worker's visit to the house but something was telling me it wasn't.

And now; now I can't shake that feeling away. My gut tells me she is thinking something but she's doing what she always does and refuses to talk to me about it.

Once we got back to the house, I helped her make her final preparations and offered to stay while Janet was there but she insisted I go. I can't say I didn't feel disappointed; I wanted to be there to help. Although, I understand why I couldn't be there.

'Any word?' Richard asks me for the third time in the space of an hour.

'None,' I sigh, checking my cell for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. The visit was at 2pm and it's now 7pm. I have tried to call her so many times with no success. I am really starting to worry.

'I'm sure everything's fine,' he says trying to assure me.

'Then why hasn't she called?' I snap.

Richard gives me a pointed look. 'You know what Meredith is like; just give her a little time.'

After I left Meredith's, I came straight to the hospital to distract myself with a few consults in the hope I could leave with within the hour and go straight back to Meredith's but I ended up getting paged into an emergency surgery with Richard.

'Any word?' Mark asks as he walks into the canteen and sits across from us.

'No,' I sigh. 'Not one word,' I mutter while I try to phone her once again, catching sight of Mark and Richard sharing a worried glance out the corner of my eye.

It's ringing out – as usual.

'I'm telling you,' Mark starts, 'she will be out celebrating, showering Zola with gifts. She'll be that distracted, she probably hasn't even thought to check her phone to see if there are any messages.'

'Mark's right. There will be a reasonable explanation,' Richard says, patting me on the shoulder. 'Why don't you go over there now?'

'Yeah, but I need to check on my patients…'

'Mark and I will personally make sure that your patients are okay,' he assures me.

'But neither of you are as good as me,' I joke, trying my best to lighten my mood, staying focused on the fact Meredith probably became distracted after Janet's visit.

Meredith's Point of View

'Zola, your mommy is one crazy lady; did you know that?' I squeak in a baby voice as I push her around in the shopping cart, feeling myself panic at the simple task of choosing something for dinner.

Me? Cook dinner?

Take away is definitely the tastier and safer option but this needs to be meaningful.

'Do you think I'll give us food poisoning by cooking lasagne Zola?' I ask. 'Or is that too adventurous for your momma?'

Why, oh why did I think this would be a great idea? A nice surprise?

Yep…I really am crazy.

I really hope you enjoyed this update. I am sorry you had to wait so long for this update. I'm hoping to update again within the next week. Please let me know what you think though.