Warnings: To be on the safe side Abby and Ziva fans could find content herein to be offensive. Might I suggest that you try writing your own stories - that way you'll get your perfect fiction.

A/N Thanks to all who left feedback, alerted or faved. I was mostly overwhelmed by your comments and not surprised by the Tony haters but I thank them for at least keeping their responses civil. Just to quickly clarify because I think some people might have been confused - I wasn't broken by a troll suggesting that I had mental health issues. What I was however, was extremely angry since I do know people who are battling to overcome the challenges of of psychological illness and know that these comments could have done untold harm. In no way does it makes their opinions and right to express themselves any less valid than anyone else whether they require medication or not. After all we don't stop ignorant or bigoted people expressing themselves (altho the trolls do make a strong case for it lol) but words have great power to harm and the vitriolic bullying could easily have caused a situation like the tragic one with Charlotte Dawson, if it was directed to someone fragile Therefore I chose to speak up. I'm also really tired of a small group of people dictating what people who don't share their views write. There are authors out there who share similar views to me, that either have stopped posting or seriously self-censor their stories because they have seen the bullying by what one wit has called the McVicTim trolls who cyber stalk people like me, attempting to drive us away. They deliberately seek out Tony-centric writers and attack us, while most of us regardless of our preference either read and don't flame or bully writers who we don't agree with, or don't read the stories in the first place (which is my own modus operandi.) So these bullies were not going to chase me off but I still thank people for their support - regardless of who their favourite characters are. Most of us are mature enough and intelligent enough to live and let live. Some of my best buds are Gibbs fans and they are almost without exception, unfailing polite and reasonable individuals and I suspect that McGee fans are too -with the exception of the rabid few. Thanks guys :)

As promised, I got shippy in this chapter and as someone who feels decidedly out of my depth in this area I await your feedback with interest. Hope you enjoy it.

I Shouldn't Have To

Chapter 11

Abby Scuito was not a happy Goth, in fact she was downright snarky. As she was fond of proclaiming often enough, she didn't do well with change and there was certainly change aplenty at the moment. Just like in the days when a brand new Director Shepard had swept in after the death of one of their own, bringing with her a wave of change. That had included an Israeli liaison officer and ordering her to observe the dress code which resulted in Abby developing a severe allergy to her clothes. And now, once again she found herself with an insatiable itch to all the change, one that couldn't be scratched. Of course the fact that her two favourite men – her Silver Fox and Timmy were grumpy didn't help matters any, either.

It wasn't only that they'd been grumpy with each other since Tony left and Timmy hadn't been given the SFA job. It was that Gibbs seemed to be in a perpetually bad mood these days and that included being cranky with Abby, too and she was supposed to be his favourite. She totally wasn't feeling the love. Meanwhile, the scuttlebutt was that he was being forced to retire – which was so unfair because bureaucratic rules shouldn't apply to Gibbs – he already had his Gibbs rules. They should leave him alone.

And the scuttlebutt was also that Marc Mendez was remaining as SFA and Balboa was going to take over as Supervisory Special Agent of the MCRT. That left Timmy like a shag on a rock with nowhere to go. Needless to say he was very unhappy and he was biting her head off almost as much as Gibbs. She needed love and adulation and wasn't getting it from her guys and that made her crazy.

Abby couldn't understand why Timmy had been overlooked. He'd been on the MCRT for a decade and had even filled in as SFA for Tony a few times when he'd been injured or undercover. When Gibbs had bypassed him and given the position to Mendez, Timmy had gone to the director to protest but it seems like Leon had withdrawn his support for Timmy and he was left out in the cold. No one would tell her why, no matter how many times she stomped her foot, pouted her Goth lips or punched Timmy's bicep. It drove her crazy!

Life at NCIS was just plain hinky. In the space of eighteen months their little family had simply fallen apart. First Tony, Ziva and Timmy had resigned to stop the sucky Richard Parsons person trying to hurt her Silver Fox and then Parsa tried to kill them all. Although Tony and Timmy came home, Ziva didn't and that was when the team started to fall apart. If Ziva had come back to DC like she was supposed to, then everything would be hunky dory not hinky. Maybe Gibbs would still be forced to retire from the field but maybe not. And Tony was supposed to take over the team from Gibbs, not Balboa – he wasn't a part of their family – Tony was. Then Timmy would have become the senior field agent and Ziva the junior field agent and Timmy could have gotten a probie who would complete their little family and everyone would have been happy.

Ziva had upset their symmetry and left a big gaping hole that had effected their ju-ju. In order to restore the balance it seemed obvious to Abby that if she returned to NCIS and the team, the balance would be restored. It was so simple that Abby was shocked that she didn't think of it sooner. The forensic scientist was excited to think that soon Ziva and Tony would be back where they belonged and Gibbs would find a way to defy the bureaucrats. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger, he would just tell those nasty bullies to 'kiss his ass' and everything would be perfect again. Now she was feeling angry with herself for not thinking of it sooner. Grabbing her phone, she started rehearsing what she should say.

Deciding to text her immediately and then organise a Skype call later, since she didn't know whether Ziva's quest to find absolution for her sins would mean she'd be able to talk right now. Abby felt her sack cloth and ashes routine was too little, too late but after eighteen months surely she'd gotten it out of her system. Abby needed her family back again before she scratched all her skin off.

Quickly she fired off a text:

Ziva we need yu. Come home.

Too excited to hang around in her lab, she decided to go and share her plan with Ducky, certain he would be ecstatic too. In fact he could be present for the Skype call and help to persuade her to return. Ducky was pretty persuasive when he set his mind to it.

ISHT

"Who's gonna call Emma and let her know about Tony?" Probationary agent Jodhi Crisp quipped, only half joking.

Dane Larson and Lisle Zabinski exchanged horrified glances. Zabinski pointed at Dane. "I vote Mr Smooth here. Emma likes him, so it will be better coming from him."

"Oh no you don't. You're his Senior Field Agent. That's why you get paid the danger money, Little Boss."

"And as your superior in rank and smarts, I'm making an executive decision to protect the team's acting lead agent's cute butt. That would be me, Dane and sacrificing yours for the greater good. Man up, Larson."

"Oh thank you so very much Zabinski." The agent grimaced before turning his head to look over his shoulder at his ass. Smirking, he observed, "So Crispy, you heard Little Boss, she said I had a cute ass." He wiggled it provocatively.

"Give me the phone, I'll do it," Jodhi rolled her eyes at his antics, noting that his butt was pretty damned cute. It would be a shame if anything happened to it. "How did you guys manage to let him get a concussion anyway? You know that Emma had a romantic dinner and dancing planned tonight. We promised to get him there in one piece. She's going to kill us."

"Yeah I know Probie," Lisle acknowledge, not looking forward to facing Emma Ingham. "But in our defence, I have to say that I've never worked with an agent that shows greater affinity for getting injured in the field. I've started going grey since I got promoted to DiNozzo's SFA and I'm only 33." She revealed, indignantly.

Their junior agent grinned, his smooth shaved head and dark skin contrasting with his white straight teeth. The females in the office spent their tea breaks debating if Dane Larson or Tony DiNozzo had the best smile and it was usually a tied decision – everyone agreeing they both could turn females to mush with their grins. "Yeah he needs his own body guard 24/7 but to be fair, none of us knew that a deaf kid was going to walk out into the confrontation like that. Not even Tony. We figured everyone would hear the gunfire and stay put."

Their probie, decided it would be prudent to have all the pertinent details before she rang Emma, plus she was procrastinating so she asked, "So how did the boss get a concussion?"

"He snatched the kid up and bundled him down the stairs doing a tuck and roll, whacking his head on the way down. He was too busy worrying about guarding the boy from harm to worry about himself."

"Sounds about right. Tony is on a crusade to save as many people as inhumanly possible. Do you think he's a reincarnated Arthurian knight?" Jodhi enquired as she took a deep breath before hitting the speed dial.

"Hallo Emma?"

ISHT

"Duckman, I need need need your help to persuade Ziva to come home so we can be a family again. Everything is all wrong and I need your support to fix our family. Once Ziva comes back, Tony will come back too and my Silver Fox will be able to do that voodoo and banish the pencil pushers trying to cast him out of his kingdom and then everything will be fine again. And Timmy and Gibbs will stop grumping at each other.

Ducky shook his head exasperatedly. "Abigail, you need to accept that change is inevitable and that people leave. Even if Ziva came back it wouldn't bring Anthony back to DC. He's happy where he is and has a new team in New York and a wonderful lassie who is doing marvellous things for his esteem. He's happy, finally."

"No Ducky, it's not right, he can't be happy. He's supposed to be with Ziva, they're meant to be together."

"Abigail, if that was so, they would have gotten together. You are not to meddle in their affairs. You must give me your solemn vow that you will not try to contact Ms David and convince her to return. She has chosen a path that doesn't include us and you must respect her desire to seek absolution in whatever fashion she sees fit."

When the Goth forensic scientist remained silent, the ME crossed over, tipped her chin up so he could stare directly into her pale green orbs. "Abigail, I'm not joking. I want your word, immediately, Missy!"

"But Duckman, I already sent her a text."

"Well no more, my dear. You as a scientist know the need we humans have for change in order to grow and prosper. You need to embrace it or you will never survive."

"But Ducky, I want my family back." Foot stomp." Why are they making Gibbs retire and why are Timmy and Gibbs so angry at each other." Crossed arms and double foot stomp. "Why isn't Timmy Gibbs SFA?" Pouty face. "And if Gibbs leaves, why won't they give his job to Tony. He was supposed to take Gibbs place. It's not fair. Is it because he was sick? That's discrimination." Abby finished up with a scowl followed by tears and quadruple double stomp. Her finale was picking up his forceps and flinging them at the freezer drawers.

"Really Abigail, how many off those ridiculously overly caffeinated concoctions have you consumed today? Don't you think that it's time you cut back, perhaps started acting your age? But be that as it may, Gibbs is past mandatory retirement age for field agents and he's chosen not to remain in a desk job, If Timothy or Jethro wanted you to know what their difficulties were, they would have informed you. And Anthony was offered Jethro's job and I understand he refused it."

"But Ducky, that can't be right. Why would Tony knock it back – he wanted to take over when Gibbs retired – not that I think it's fair that he has to go."

Sighing long sufferingly, he decided brutally honesty might rob their energiser bunny of her steam. "Anthony doesn't want to take over the MCRT from Jethro because of the churlish way he was treated by people you insist are family after the last time he was the leader. Telling him that he was no Gibbs when he tried to maintain continuity and then throwing temper tantrums when he tried to change things convinced him he could never win, so he decided to go where his skills were appreciated. His so called family chased him away, so now you will do him the courtesy of letting him be happy."

ISHT

When Ziva David woke she checked her phone and discovered the text from Abby. When she first left, she and the forensic scientist stayed in contact more frequently but as time passed their contact become more sporadic as the passage of time loosen their bond. Mind, most of their conversations were Abby trying to persuade her to come back. Determined to find redemption for the assassinations and deaths that she'd carried out over the years, she had no intention of returning to NCIS and tuned out much of what Abby had said. Discovering her brother had a secret life she'd known nothing about, had made her see him and her other victims as people and that had shaken her world. It was much more complex than Abby seemed to think.

Since she had known her, Ziva had adopted a strategy of ignoring much of what came out of the Goth's mouth, so it wasn't all that difficult. What she had always found hard to understand was why an intelligent female would feel the need to act like a little girl. Ziva understood wearing schoolgirl skirts, pigtails and knee highs to portray a Lolita persona to seduce someone. Yet this didn't seem to be the intent behind Abby's getdown. She seemed to enjoy people fussing her and treating her like a child, although Ziva guessed it was really because it allowed her to behave outrageously.

Still this morning as she stared at her text, she admitted that Abby's idea had merit. She really didn't find redemption to be all it was crapped up to be. Perhaps it was time to let it go and move on. It was time to go home and take up her life again. Tony would help her to get her job back again. Gibbs might be poopy but DiNozzo would golly him around. Feeling lighter than she had in months, she sent Abby a text: we must talk - call me.

Now after a week of trying to contact Abby and getting no response, Ziva decided to take the cow by the horns and return to DC. She had much to do organising and packing up her meagre belongings. She had given away most of her worldly possessions in her bid for redemption. Looking back, all it had achieved was that she felt deprived and cranky. Time to head back to the materialistic, celebrity obsessed US and her old life. Abby was in for a pretty big surprise – still that would teach her to not answer her texts and calls.

ISHT

Emma sat in her fiancé's hospital room, thankful that this time it was just a concussion he had been admitted for. She'd already had spent far too much time in hospital rooms with Tony. It certainly could have been so much worse, since it was a minor miracle that he hadn't been shoot as he scrambled to save the life of an eleven year old boy. As she waited for him to be returned from tests, Emma took a bite of the BLT that she'd grabbed from the cafeteria. It was a far cry from the date they had planned tonight but there was always next time.

One thing she was grateful for, was that Tony was quite a romantic. After coming to New York, she'd been wined and dined around all the premier spots in Manhattan. They'd take strolls hand in hand in Central Park, go to the opera, ballet, Broadway shows, and museums. They took long leisurely picnics together and went on weekends away. The Catskills Mountains were a favourite spot of theirs, they also stayed in cosy B & Bs in Vermont and sailed around Long Island Sound. Yet perhaps her most romantic memory so far was their engagement.

It was quintessential Tony, playful and romantic. And yet Emma despaired of ever getting him to propose to her. It was the same old same old. She'd inform him she wasn't going anywhere and that carpe diem was their motto and Tony would settle down for a bit until he would talk himself into doubting that he should be in a committed relationship. Arguing that they didn't know how long his cancer would stay in remission and it wasn't fair to her.

Finally, she reached the conclusion that the only way to stop Tony trying to act all noble and push her away for her own good was to propose to the idiot and marry him, ASAP. So as much as she loved it when he organised romantic dates for her, she took the initiative, booking them in at their favourite Italian restaurant. Gone were the regular pizzas, carb heavy, creamy rich sauces in his new regime to eat as healthily as possible but the Mediterranean influences of fresh vegetables and seafood was something that they did eat regularly. Having spent so much time in Italy, Emma in particular had become addicted to the regional cooking style. Poor Tony didn't get much chance to sample the wonderful foods, between nausea, ulcerated mouth, oesophagus and intestinal tract and getting him to eat anything had been challenging. Not to mention that the cancer treatment had made all food taste metallic.

So they'd had a wonderful romantic meal before she'd dragged him to the top of the Empire State Building and proposed to him. Yeah, she cheerfully admitted that it was cheesy but hey, they were living in New York and prior to becoming a couple, her favourite romcom chickflick was without doubt Sleepless in Seattle. Yet as romantic as it was, when she noticed a worry line on Tony's brow she got assertive and told him that she wasn't going to be chased off.

"Tony, if I had to choose, I'd rather be married to you for a day if that was all the time we had together than a lifetime with someone else. You make me laugh, you're kind and caring and all the nurses on my ward would steal you in a minute if I let my guard down. They are green with envy when they hear about our wonderful dates. We both know that you have to live for today and take nothing for granted but that isn't a bad philosophy to live by. I love that with all that has happened you have remained positive, you make us all laugh."

Seeing he was still hesitating, she sighed. Yes she was assertive when she was "Nurse Emma" but somehow when she was in relationships she was the one to let the guy make the first move. But all along in her relationship with Tony, she'd had to pursue him, knowing that if she'd taken a backward step, they'd never have gotten together. And she knew enough about what made Tony tick to understand that without their support system, he might not have made it. He was a guy that craved affection, yet had spent most of his life alone. It really shouldn't come as a surprise that she was going to have to give him a 'gentle' push.

"Tony, if you say no, I'm just going to have to drag you back here once a week til you give in because you are not getting rid of me. I love you… you idiot and that's all that matters. So will you marry me?" Determined to seal the deal she leaned into him and gave him a searing kiss that made her wish that she'd opted for a less public venue.

Afterwards, Tony had kissed her back and somewhere along the way they lost a good thirty minutes making out before they found somewhere a bit sheltered and shadowy and just snuggled together for the longest time. That was one of Tony's guilty secrets, after a childhood mostly bereft of physical affection. It was something that he desperately needed but didn't know how to accept.

He'd sought it through sexual liaisons, especially after two disastrous relationships with Wendy and Jeanne but the cancer had changed all that. Treatment had put a serious kink in their bedroom activities but he finally learnt how to accept being cuddled and hugged. It had been a serious adjunct to his therapy and Emma was firmly convinced that it contributed to his remission. Now he was an expert snuggler and while he was no slouch in the bedroom, they both relished time just wrapped up in each other's arms, like tonight. She would cherish this memory even if he had needed a prod to get there.

As they cuddled together in the shadows, they discussed when to get married and where. She didn't want a huge ostentatious wedding and she knew that he wouldn't either. But she'd always dreamt of getting married in a picturesque chapel by the sea. Emma was hopping that they could find somewhere on Long Island or Rhode Island but knew that his childhood was tied to these places and might have painful associations. Ultimately, it didn't matter where it happened as long as it did.

Eventually, they were getting chilled and Tony suggested that they go somewhere and get coffee and then go dancing. Emma loved dancing and Tony was pretty good at it. It was yet another enigma that while his alcoholic parents neglected him horribly, they were big on making sure he learnt skills that would impress Senior's business partners or as Tony cynically referred to them, Senior's marks. So it meant that Little Tony was privately tutored in ballroom dancing, golf, fencing, elocution, music and horse riding – specifically dressage and polo. Seriously some people didn't deserve to have kids.

Emma had years of dance classes as a child not because her parents decided it would be good for her but because she loved it. She'd dreamt of becoming a prima ballerina until she hit puberty and grew too tall. Tony was the first guy she knew that didn't mind taking her dancing and for that reason alone, her friends reckoned he was a keeper.

So they'd grabbed a cab and Tony had directed the driver to stop by their apartment, telling her he needed to collect something. Later as they warmed up over coffees, she found out why. With a shy nervous smile he pulled something small out of his pocket.

Presenting her with a ring box, he crushed her in a hug that literally stole her breath away. "Em, I bought this for you a while ago but I never could never summon the courage to propose to you since I can't offer you a long and happy future. But you seem not to care about that, love of my life, so please accept this ring as a token of our love."

Opening the box Emma was stunned. Tony had impeccable taste…ordinarily. In fact when it came to fashion, she was willing to concede he knew more than she did about designers and loved going with her to buy designer gowns. And the jewellery he'd given her as gifts had been beautiful and tasteful. But her engagement ring was anything but. It was yellow gold – which Emma didn't wear, the sapphire was large and chunky and the setting was overly fussy and way too large for her small hand. Yet seeing the hopeful look on Tony's face, a look full of tenderness and love, how could she tell him the truth…that she absolutely hated the ring.

Why the Hell hadn't she picked out the engagement and wedding rings for both of them before she proposed. Idiot! Now she was left with the terrible choice of breaking his heart and telling him his taste in engagement rings sucked or wearing the damned thing for eternity. Unless she could lose it, that is. Maybe she could accidently drop it down the drain in the bathroom, except that it was so huge and clunky she doubted if it would fit. Looking at his hopeful expression she just couldn't do it.

Smiling awkwardly, she responded. "Oh Tony, I don't know what to say. Thank-you."

"You really like it Em? You're not just saying that? Because you can always change it if you don't like it."

Knowing that he would be offended if she changed it, she assured him she loved it and his face was one giant beam. Dragging her off to dance the night away, she managed to focus on what was more important than a stupid piece of jewellery. Once they were married she hoped it would stop his regular attacks of guilt. Personally she had a good feeling about him staying in remission long term, but she would gladly stay with him for however long or short that time was. Actually, she thought he was at greater risk in his job of getting shot or stabbed but cops and agents still got married anyway.

She could hardly believe it but they danced until nearly dawn before going for a ride in a horse drawn carriage around the park. She was so tired that all she could think of was falling into bed with her goofy fiancé who seemed to be on cloud nine. Finally, as the rose gold fingers of dawn crept across the sky, she found herself snuggling into Tony and using him as a pillow as she dozed. When the carriage stopped, she woke up to Tony calling her.

Come on Em, we're here. Wake up, Sweetheart."

Stumbling with exhaustion she felt herself being lifted down by strong arms. Smelling the blissful aroma of freshly brewed coffee, she managed to force her eyes partly open to find that Tony was offering her not only coffee but a pastry.

"Sorry Ms Ingham, due to the short notice I had to forgo the cat, but for the rest, enjoy," He teased her happily.

Eventually, realising that they hadn't returned home to their apartment and registering where they were, she looked at him as he held her coffee and pastry out to her to take it. She decided she must be dreaming. Or else it was the most romantic thing anyone had done for her.

"Tony DiNozzo, am I dreaming?" Seeing him shake his head, she grinned. Only Tony would recreate that iconic scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's after dancing the night away with her. Hugging him one-armed, she accepted the coffee and pastry, wondering how he had organised both without her knowing. Seeing one of his agent's, Dane Larson hovering nearby, Emma realised he must have called him last night from the apartment. Talk about sneaky!

"So my darling fiancée, do you want to wait here till they open or go home and sleep and come back after brunch – a late brunch?"

"Come back? Wait here? What are you talking about, Tony?"

"I'm talking about choosing your engagement ring so we can get it engraved, Em."

Seeing her confusion he started laughing. "You are a wonderful person Emma Ingham but a terrible liar. You hate that ugly piece of metal I gave you. It was my mother's engagement ring and according to her maid she loathed it as well. Senior went for the most ostentation piece of crap he could find – keen to impress all his business contacts. I wanted to surprise you."

"You tricked me?" Emma demanded, unsure whether to be outraged or relieved. Since she wouldn't have to wear that ugly ring and was going to pick out one at Tiffany's and Co she decided to go with relieved and ecstatic. "How did you manage to pull it off? I thought you'd be devastated if I didn't wear it?"

Hearing Dane laugh as he strolled over and explained. "The boss is an undercover genius. He could sell potatoes to the Irish, honestly. Congratulations, Emma!" He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, you're forgiven I guess but I still want a cat DiNozzo - a lilac tortie Burmese." Emma joked.

Chuckling, Tony thanked Dane for his help in the scam, before asking her did she want to wait for the shop to open or come back later. Deciding that the shop would still be there later and bed sounded good, she opted for the latter as Tony hailed a cab, offering to drop Dane off on their way home.

Smiling fondly, she waited for Tony to come back from his MRI because of his history of multiple concussions, not to mention over a decade of that lunatic whacking him across the back of the head, Emma looked down at her left hand. Her real engagement ring was a dainty white gold setting and the neat princess cut pink diamond was perfect. She loved her ring but what made it even more special was how she'd come to receive it.