Chapter 10

Rajveer

"Your girlfriend's being transferred again," Irfan informs you as soon as you return from your latest mission, "Except I think they've run out of places to send her because they can't seem to work out where to give her a posting so they've given her a holiday instead."

"And since when have you been so interested in 'my' girlfriend that you've started keeping tabs on her?" You ask him tiredly. You've long given up asking him not to call her that and if you're honest… then you'll admit that you even like it. It makes you feel that you still have some place in her life, some claim upon her.

You keep fooling yourself that you're happy to let her go, make her own life, but the truth is something else entirely. If you were happy to let her go then you would never have sent her the card in the first place.

"Considering that I've got no life of my own, yours is much more interesting to keep tabs on." He informs you, "And I have even more information if you're interested."

"It's not my life anymore," you remind him, trying not to sound bitter, "And what else do you have to tell me?"

"Her parents are trying to fix up her marriage… the guy came to see her, took her out to dinner, came back the next day to give her a gift. He's a good match, is educated, has a business in America, earns well." He studies you, waiting for your reaction.

"Good," you say, your throat suddenly dry, "She'll be happy… he'll look after her and…"

And you're the biggest god damn liar in the entire world and if you think you're fooling Irfan into believing that you mean it, you're the biggest fool too.

"You can't forget her, can you?" he asks sympathetically, "It will get better in time once you get used to the idea. I know, I went through it."

"So did she accept?" you ask, barely breathing as you wait for the answer. You're not sure what to pray for, that she did or that she didn't. You want her to move on with her life, be happy, and yet somehow you dread it too.

"Not yet…" he tells you, "So you've got time to get used to the idea."

He leaves you there alone with your thoughts and you struggle with the notion of accepting her as somebody else's.

You will do so… you will be happy for her… you will pray that she forgets all about you and moves on with her life.

And every single moment it will stab you in the heart.