Harry Vs Simon

Today was the day the Auditions for the rapping contest were going to take place. Harry was dressed in a true rapper fashion but Hermione was too drunk to care on how stupid he looked.

"Go and get them Harry, hic" she slurred as she waved a large bottle of blue Vodka about. "Whatever" replied Harry, taking out a spliff and lighting it before going off to find Ron.

"Yo Harry my dude, howz iz ya shit going?" Neville asked as Ginny, Luna and Cho smothered all over him. "Nothing Dawg, just looking for Ron" replied Harry. Neville nodded and polished his Pimp's cane.

"I saw Ron in da great hall entertaining for the evil judge" he said. Harry nodded and ran to the great hall. Neville turned to his love Bitches. "Ok ladies, let's say we go to the astronomy tower and have some fun" he suggested. Ginny, Luna and Cho giggled and squealed.

Harry ran towards the great hall and peered inside. he saw his best friend dressed in a large t-shirt and baggy shorts with a baseball cap on his head.

he had a microphone in his hand and was rapping.

"Just give me ya ditches ya mother fucking bitches

don't fuck wit me coz I iz not your average motherfucking asswipe

twit twit twi twitty twit twit, yo ma shit, da shit iz good, bitch" he sang then adding a little breakdance at the end. Simon Crowell (Simon Cowell's evil twin brother who happens to have the same first name but a different last name on account that he is married) leaned back in his chair and chewed is pen.

"So, what do you think dawg?" Ron asked with a hopefull look on his face.

"Well" Simon stated " I abolutely thought that was utterly and totally pathetic, you do not have the charisma of a ghetto rapstar" he explained, still leaning back in his chair. Ron felt insulted by this.

"You're wrong Dawg, I've so got the charisma of a Ghetto rapstar and don't you forget it" he said, pointing a finger at Simon who just rolled his eyes.

"look, just admit it, you're worthless and not good at rapping and one more thing I am not a dog, now piss off and don't come back". Ron went to object but Simon told him to piss off.

"Fine, I'm going you stupid muggle" and he gave Simon the bird and walked out.

"Yo Ron dude, how did it go?" Harry asked as Ron came stomping out in a strop.

"Awful, that Simon Crowell is one evil Motherfucker" he replied, taking out a bong and lighting it. "Anyways, I'm off to sit under the willow, you coming?" he asked.

"In a Minute, just got something I need to do first" Harry replied. "Ok dawg, I'll be under the whomping willow if ya need me" and he walked off.

Harry entered the great hall and made his way towards Simon.

"Hello young man, have you come to rap?" he asked Harry.

"No I have bloody not come to rap, I've come to tell you to stop critising my friend Ron" Harry barked at the sarcastic Muggle.Simon looked liked his eyes were going to pop out of his head as Harry put his face close to his.

"I think you are utterly and totally pure evil, you make Voldemort look like a icecream man who loves children. How dare you say my friend doesn't have the charisma of a Ghetto rapstar, he has so, he'll make a much better rapper than P-Diddy, Slim shady or all those other rappers in the rapping world. You haven't got no sense and your clothing sense is pathetic. I've never seen anyone who wears their trousers all the way up to the neck".

Simon kpet rolling his eyes as Harry continued to insult him.

"And don't think I'll be rapping for you because I won't rap for someone who says everyone is crap and rapping. Now if you'll escuse me, I'm off to get stoned with my good friend who is a good rapper and has got the charisma of a Ghetto rapstar" and he walked off in triumph.

Ron was sat under the whomping willow, utterly stoned when Harry arrived looking pleased with himself.

"Hey dude, I saved a bong for you" said Ron before noticing that Harry was looking hapy. "Hey dude, you look pleased with yourself". Harry nodded, sat down andl it his bong.

"Yeah, I've just done something I'm really proud off, so proud that I'm in the mood to get wasted, so i was thinking we throw a party in gryffindor tower, free beer and drugs for all".