A/N: Okay I'm starting this chapter from Edward POV and then moving it to Bella's. Hope you enjoy
Edward POV:
Can my life get any more fucked up? The conversation I had with Tanya two days ago still haunts me.
Flashback:
I went into my room and welcome the fact that I was alone. I laid on my bed and grabbed my long pillow and held it in my arms, imagining the whole time that it was Bella. Tonight I was going to sneak over to house and finally be alone with her; only a couple more hours till her father leaves. I closed my eyes and imagine the pillow was her, I heard the door open and someone jumping on my bed. I felt Tanya breath lingering by my ear; I opened my eyes and lifted myself off the bed.
"Come on Eddie, I haven't had you in a while." She whined from my bed.
"Tanya, get out of my room" trying my best to lift her up.
"You know what I don't get? Couple of months ago you were all willing to fuck me and then all of a sudden you wanted to wait" she paused and sat up pressing her back against my bedpost. "Edward, I'm not as stupid as I look. I know your fucking someone else; I can smell it on you."
"Tanya, where the hell is this coming from?" I asked, now she was making me nervous.
"Edward, I don't love you and I know that you do not love me. But there is one thing that I love and that is your name. Imagine Mrs. Tanya Cullen, it just rings the right way." She takes her head of the bed post and stared straight into my eyes, "I know about the arrangement our parents did and I am not allowing some trailer park trash from that shithole of a restaurant change that." Her tone was getting much stronger at the end.
Tanya gets off the bed and moves right next to me, "Remember that night in Chicago, when you got drunk and fucked me hard against the table."
I cringed at that last comment, "You're not a saint Edward, you are like us and as much as you try to prove to yourself that your better it just makes you far more worse. Look, let's not beat around the bush, you can cheat on me and vice versa but when you allow your feeling to get involved than that really fucks us both in the end. Edward, you look a little white, why don't you sit down?" She pointed to my bed. My mind was drawing a blank, so I just sat down. Tanya soon followed.
"Now I can call your mommy and daddy and tell them your secret liaison and they'll separate you two in a second or you can play along and let me have a little fun, " She lifted up my head so we were eye to eye. " Don't look so sad Edward; I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just a person who doesn't like people touching their things." She grabbed my face into her hands.
"Look, I'm looking out for her because eventually you two have to separate…how Shakespearian. You will break her heart more if you allow this to last any longer and as much as you want to hate me it's true. Break heart now and it will heal but wait until things get more heated and it will kill her."
"It's not fair" I whisper
She just smiles at me and removed her hands for my face and took my hands into hers
"Life is not fair, Edward. We are the lucky one. We are allowed a life of luxury but there is a price to pay for that life of luxury, and that is love. You see love is overrated made for movies, but real life love is never a factor. Hell, I know the way you look at her and it is beautiful but it will never happen. You will never have that and money together and whoever says so is a liar. You see Edward, you are just being selfish and wanting everything in the world but you can't and the sooner you wake up to that reality the better."
She removes herself off my bed and starts walking towards the door.
"Oh, you better follow my moves the next time were at that restaurant or your little sister Alice will find herself mysteriously engaged to the ever so delightful James Vonnegute" she places her finger to her lip, "Speaking from experiences he likes it a little rough, so she have to get her weekly pokes in the back door daily. Poor little Alice will be gagging all night long, too bad it wasn't Jasper." She begins to laugh "Can you imagine watching poor Jasper lose the one he loves because you wanted to fuck around with a nobody"
With that I got up from the bed and pushed Tanya to the door, my arms were right at her side, I was seeing red at this point. Tanya kept on laughing and places her hands on my shoulder.
"Eddie, tempter, temper. You would not want to hurt little old me and deal with daddy know would we?"
"Tanya, you fucking bitch" I screamed at her face
"Language"
"Tanya, I don't give a fuck about language"
"Edward, you lost. It is that simple. Go along with my plan and everything will be normal, go against it and your whole family will have to deal with your selfish behavior."
She kissed my cheek and ducked under my arms, she was about to leave when she turned her face
"Bella is such a pretty name; we would not want your little Swan to get hurt now would we. I can see you need some time to think so I'm going to leave but remember I always get what I want.
End of Flashback:
After that "talk" with Tanya I punch a hole in the wall and practically destroyed my room. I hated my life and I hated how things got so fucked up. My head was saying she was right and that me and Bella would never end up together but my heart could not let Bella go. That night I went to Bella room and my mind was somewhere else the whole evening. I practically used her after we had sex and regretted the way I treated her afterwards. I felt sick when I got home, basically ditching her.
Flashback:
While we were having sex I couldn't get the conversation I had with Tanya out of my head. I knew she wanted that to happen and fuck up my entire evening. Once I was in Bella embrace I still couldn't shake off this dread that was washing all over me. I wanted to tell Bella what was going on but I did not want to worry her.
"Edward, are you okay? You seem like your somewhere else"
I got myself out of her grasp, not wanting to talk; I started to put on my clothes.
"Yea, I'm fine." I started, "Just school stuff, you know" which was a complete lie.
With that I left her not even saying I loved her or anything.
End of Flashback:
Now the time came were I had to play along with Tanya. The ride there was in complete silence. Jasper kept staring at me strangely; even the way he acts in front of me was becoming odd. Alice kept looking at me and Tanya. My hands were white for holding onto the steering wheel so tightly, due to the fact Tanya fingers were rubbing against my thigh. I knew the game she was playing and she knew it too, she was practically grinning ear to ear. Finally we reached the restaurant and was greeted by Rose and Emmett. I felt like a zombie once Tanya launched herself into my grasp after we got out of the car. I felt sick to my stomach; my whole body was stiff for playing along with it. We walked inside the building and was greeted by the dirty blond hair hostess. We followed her to our regular table, I could feel Bella intense stare on my back. I could not face her.
"Come on Eddie, play along" she acidly whisper into my ear.
My hold on Tanya grew a little tighter but my stomach dropped when I smelt her stench on me. Once we were seated, Tanya pulls her chair closer to mines and starts licking and nibbling my neck. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Bella doing that. The next thing I knew she was practically in my lap trying to fuck me right here in public. Finally I heard my angel speak but I could not get over the fact the weakness in her voice. And it was all my fault.
"Hi, um my name is um Bella. What would you guys' like to drink" She could barely finish.
I could tell she was on the verge of tears seeing me going along with Tanya plan. If only I could grab her aside and explain everything and tell her everything is going to be okay.
"Water" Alice said breaking the awkward silence. .
I felt her eyes burning into my face and all I could do was stare at the empty place settings. We all placed our drink orders while I whispered mine. I looked up when she turned her back quickly, her shoulders were hunch and she was about to break out into tears.
"Why do we always get that slob" Tanya said breaking the silence of our table.
I wanted to shout at Tanya, telling her that Bella was ten times better than her; in every way. Everybody at the table was rather silent. My tongue felt heavy and no words came out.
"Tanya, shut up. Why do you constantly act like a bitch," I did a double take, did Jasper just cuss out Tanya. Then I felt guilty, shouldn't I be the one telling Tanya that and not my best friend. But then it made me wonder what the hell was going on with Jasper.
"Whatever" she said, while playing with her hair.
I notice that Emmett was talking but I was really not in the mood to listen. I looked at Alice and she also seems like she was in deep thought, usually she the talkative one at the table but now she quiet. Tanya was commenting on Rose new apparel.
I looked at Jasper and notice he leaned in and whisper something into Alice's ear then left the table. Alice looked a little lost but most of all sad. Later I had to find out what was going on between the two. I felt like a piece of shit the way I let Tanya rule me right in front of Bella. All I could think about was Bella crying in the back because she thought I betrayed her. But in a way I already did.
"Eddie, you seem rather quiet" Tanya whisper again to my ear. I looked her straight in the eye
"Tanya, you are evil. Flaunting yourself in front of Bella, do you have any class" I hissed into her ear.
She let out a little giggled which I hated to so much and leaned into my ear again and whisper, "Edward, like I said, I hate sharing and honey you belong to me" she gave me a quick peck and joined back into her discussion with Rose.
I zoning out when I notice Jasper coming back to the table looking a little bit flush. Alice looked a little stiff when she went to hug him. All of a sudden I smelt strawberries coming closer to me and I knew Bella was near, and then I felt Tanya boney hands moving higher and higher up my leg. I was just about too ripe her hand off of me when I notice Bella spilling all of the drinks onto Tanya's lap. The whole place went silent for a moment only to be broken by Tanya screeching. I swear I could have died from laughter. Emmett laughter came so after Tanya screams.
"Oh my god, that was so funny, you go Bella" Emmett said between laughter.
"You think this is funny, this is a thousand dollar skirt more than what you earn here a year" she wailed. She was trying desperately to wipe off it off but it was only making it worse.
Since I could not take my eyes off of Bella, even when she was mad she was beyond gorgeous and perfect. Bella could hardly control her laughter and tried frantically to stop.
"I'm so" (pause) "sorry"
Some short bald guy looking flush ran from the back.
"Bella, what's going on?" he asked
She was sucking on her lower lips to help contain herself from laughing, god was she sexy. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her right now in front of everyone, but I didn't move.
"I'll tell you what's going on, you incompetent waitress over there purposely poured our drinks all over my thousand dollar skirt." She screeched. I rolled my eyes at Tanya; she loves nothing more than to make a scene.
"Bella is this true" the bald guy said to my Bella
"Of course it true, look at her, laughing like a manic. I will not stand for this." Tanya pointed at Bella
"No, I completely agree. You guys are our best customers. Bella may I speak to you in my office "
I hope Bella doesn't get fired for this; I have to talk to him and explain the situation.
"It was an accident Tanya, let it go" I finally spoke up, I notice Bella intense gaze at me. I knew she was pissed at me for what Tanya was doing
"Are you kidding me, she's just jealous of me because I have you. I mean the only thing she gets is trailer-park trash, but even then that is a step up. Look at her, she is a nobody. I doubt anyone would ever love her, like she can gets' someone in the first place. " Tanya said.
I was about o shout at her, but the next thing I knew was Bella shoving Tanya to the floor. In an instant I was by Bella side, holding on to her with all my might. Damn, she was strong when she is pissed. My heart was pounding being so close to Bella, it almost hurts.
"You bitch!" she shouts, "Calling me a nobody, you look like a cheap hooker at best"
"Let go" she demanded. Truth be told, I would have love to see Bella kicking the shit out of Tanya, but I had to cool this situation down.
"Bella, you have to calm down" I whisper into her ear. I took a deep breath of her scent that was driving me wild.
I moved away from her ear to see Jasper quickly by her side.
"Bella, you're fired get your belonging and GET OUT!"
"Fuck off, the both of you. You" she pointed to Tanya, "I FUCKING feel sorry for the person that has to marry your ugly ass." She said that more towards me than to Tanya, "And you John, you're a dick"
She ran out of my grasp and stomped to the backroom. She blamed me and she had every right too. I ran my hands roughly through my hair and felt physically sick. Tanya moved closer to me
"Edward, if you go after her I will ruin BOTH your lives" she grabbed Rose and went to the bathroom.
Everyone was staring at our little scene. After Tanya left I noticed Alice stormed out soon followed by Jasper chasing her. Emmett was talking to the manager and gave him a rather large sum of money. Emmett walked towards me and moved his arm towards my shoulder
"Well big bro that was some evening." He winked at me.
"Em, I'm really not in the mood. Hey do me a favor, can you drive everyone home I got shit to do"
He just nodded; while I was running out to my car I sent Bella a quick text.
Bella, whatever ur thinking about me and Tanya is false. I cannot live my life without u. I'm coming over at midnite plz don't be mad. I love u!! I'm sorry
-Edward.
I looked at the time, I still had two hours until I go over and talk to Bella; I needed to clear my head and settle down. I looked down and got a text from Tanya I opened it up
This is ur last nite… better make it worth it.
-Tanya
Bella POV
I did not want to move, I wanted nothing more to do than cry away all my problems. I heard a soft knock on the door. I knew it was Edward and as much as I wanted to hate him and never see him again I loved him. I was so stupid. I walked slowly down the steps hoping that maybe he would go away but the knock kept coming. I opened the door and instead of finding Edward at the door, it was Jasper and Alice
"Bella" Jasper was the first to speak
I was still frozen, what was Alice doing here at my house.
"Bella, I had to tell Alice" Jasper was about to explain the situation, but right now I wasn't in the mood.
I just gave a weak nod and allowed them in. I really did not care at the moment who knew and who didn't. We walked in silence to the living room; Alice was the first one to speak.
"Look Bella, I promise not to tell anyone about the situation. It just I thought Jasper was cheating on me with you and"
I caught her off with my laughter, "you know what Alice, its' okay. I'm just done." I just dropped onto the couch.
Jasper sat next to me and started rubbing my back softly and to my surprise Alice grabbed my hand and started to rubbing it too.
"Bella, I'm sorry for Tanya behavior." She said soothing.
I snorted
"Just Tanya" I said sarcastically
"Bella, Edward loves you. I don't know what was going on earlier but he cares for you more so than that bitch Tanya. He look miserable when he was alone with her and I don't know what's going on but he really does care for you" Alice said softly, "and I glad he can find happiness in you"
I got up from the couch and started to pace the room
"Cares for me, did you see him practically fucking Tanya right in front of me, yea that really shows that he cares. I'm like his dirty little secret" I started to break down, "I love him so much and what he did to me hurts so much. What is he going to say?" I tried my best to collect myself
"He was wrong, but we don't know his side. Did he call you?" Jasper moved close to Alice
"He should be over in a few" I said, I really wasn't in the mood to talk at the moment.
"Okay, well call us when it's over" Alice said towards me
I gave her a weak smile
"Thank you for being so supportive about me and Edward, Alice. I always liked you"
She gave me a friendly hugged which I need at this moment
"I always knew we would be great friends"
"Look, he's almost here so you guys should held out, I need to calm myself down."
They both nodded and I lead them to the door, both giving me a supportive hug before leaving.
"I see it Bella, everything is going to work out between the two in the end" Alice said before going outside
I gave them a quick wave and closed the door. I walked back to the couch and lied on it; I felt a little better having that talk with Alice and Jasper. Probably tomorrow I'll talk to Jasper about Alice finding out but right now my mind just couldn't take it. My eyes felt heavy and slowly I drifted off to sleep, welcoming the darkness. I suddenly felt a pair of hands touching my face. I started to moan loving the dream I was having, the next thing I felt was a pair of lips on my cheeks then the lips starts to move down to my lips.
'Wait a minute, why does this seem so real' I thought.
I slowly opened my eyes and was face to face with Edward. At first I was in shock but then I jumped off the couch and ran to the other side of the room.
"Bella, I'm sorry for barging in like this"
"How you get in" I asked. Edward stood up and walked towards me I put out my hand to stop him. "Don't, touch me"
"I knocked and no one answer and your door was unlocked so I came in." he started to pace, "You were so beautiful lying there on the couch I couldn't help but kiss you. "
"Okay, you kissed me so leave" my tone was harsh and cold
Edward pinch the bride of his nose
"Bella, I didn't come here to fuck you and leave or to fight"
I interrupted, "that what you did two nights ago. Your are such dick" I yelled
"I was a dick" I snorted "Okay I was a big dick and what I did to you those two nights ago is unforgivable. I regretted ever since."
"Okay, you apologies now leave" I pointed towards the door.
"Bella, please hear me out, please" he begged
"Five minutes, don't let me regret it" he put his hand on his head and took a deep breath
"The thing with Tanya is um she found out about us" my whole body froze, that was not what I expecting to hear, "She said that I had to break up with you because if she found out we were together she was going to fuck my arrangement" I interrupted him
"You know Edward, you talk about this arrangement but you never explained it to me" he motion to me to sit down
"Bella, please sit down"
"Fuck you, I will not sit down. Stop staling and fucking tell me the truth for once" I screamed
"Fine, last summer my mother wanted me to marry Tanya basically to bring our two families together."
"Like an arrange marriage" I asked
"Yes, exactly" he took a deep breath, "But I hated Tanya and could not stand her family, so I decline. I thought it was over but later my mother told me if I do not go through with the marriage than Alice is promise to James."
"I thought she was dating Jasper"
"She is, but my parents do not know about them dating, it pretty hush-hush. Well, I hated James, he treats women like shit and there is no way my baby sister will ever be touched by that douche bag. So my mother promises me that if I marry Tanya than Alice is allowed to be with anyone she chooses."
"So you put your own happiness aside for Alice sake" he just nodded, "Does she know about this" he shakes his head.
"I don't want her to feel sorry for me. When Tanya found out that it was you who I loved she basically said I had to end it or she'll tell on us. And that, that"
"And you're making this shit up?" I asked
"Bella, I would never lie to you" His eyes were begging for forgiveness.
"Have you ever slept with Tanya since we been together" I said above a whisper.
He took a pause and shook his head, "No"
Edward was now obviously shaking, I notice tears were forming in his eyes.
"What I did at the restaurant and allowed Tanya to touch me like that was wrong and I'm so sorry. "
"But she right Edward, we have to end it," I felt myself about ready to cry, "We come from two different worlds, and maybe it just not meant to be. We're only thinking of ourselves and not the lives that were destroying,"
Edward started to shake his head and started to bite his lower lip, he kept repeating no, no over again. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face. He came over to me and went on his knees and hugged me around the waist. His head was on my stomach and I could feel his heavy sobs absorbing my skin.
"Please don't leave me." He cried, "I will not survive, you are the love of my life"
His held on me only tighten finally I moved my hands from my side and started to touch his face. He looked up at me with his emerald eyes and I knew it was over. His head leaned into my hands.
"I love you, Bella" He said over and over again. I fell down to my knees and was facing him. My hands were on his cheeks; my thumbs were rubbing his earlobe.
"Edward, we have to end this now" I choked out
He started to shake his head profusely
"I can't, I can't. I won't lose you" he said desperately
"Edward, you eventually will leave me"
"No, I promise. Fuck everyone; I'm tired of being held to a certain standard. I love you so much, I will die without you" he begged
"Edward, how is this going to work?"
"We leave, let's just run away"
And before I could answer he grabbed my face and brought his lips upon mines. His kiss was full of hunger and need. We both needed this; I opened my mouth and was met with his delicious tongue glazing the inside of my mouth. I let out a huge moan and moved his body closer to mines. I started to suck on his lower lip and started to slowly undress him.
"Bella, I love you so much. Let's just run away"
Before I could answer his lips found mines once more.
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A/N: That's it for now! Finally made it 40,000 words yea! You know the drill, Tell me guys what you like and don't like, it will really help me out! I would really mean a lot. Anyways, thanks again.