A/N: Hi all. Thank you to everyone who's given this story a shot so far and reviewed, favorited, followed, etc. I'm hoping to get chapters finished with an alarming sort of regularity, because I've got this wild idea that I can get the story at least most of the way finished before I start school at the beginning of September.
Since some updates will be rather quick, I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage you to always double-check and make sure that you've read each previous chapter prior to reading any updates.
Remus has been staring up at his ceiling for the past half hour.
Faint voices and laughter echo up the stairs from the kitchen below, but he's so reluctant to enter into the maelstrom of breakfast. Last night, his friends lost interest in hearing about his evening in detail as soon as they learned that he hadn't slept with Hermione, which was something of a relief – he rather liked the idea of keeping the whole night between them. His desire to avoid everyone downstairs can more accurately be attributed to just how… drained he feels.
His transformation left him more exhausted than he wants to acknowledge, even though he knows that Hermione and his friends have been around for enough full moons to know that yesterday, he'd worn himself thin. After dinner last night, he should have gone right back to sleep, and now he's paying for it.
It's not only that, either. The hours that he spent with Hermione last night filled him with an unimaginable warmth and energy, but now, that initial joy is overshadowed by a feeling of dread.
Somehow it's got to go wrong.
Even if Remus ignores the obvious – that Hermione is a time traveler currently attempting to return to her own time, 20 years in the future – he has difficulty picturing a way that they can remain happy like this for long. They're living in a world where people are perpetually in fear of being betrayed by their friends and loved ones, or of losing them at Voldemort's hands.
As a werewolf who remains sympathetic to Dumbledore, Remus is the last person Hermione should be tethering herself to in such a world.
He tries not to think that way, because he knows that Hermione doesn't care… but he cares.
Then there's the fact that apparently, 20 years in the future, he will try to stop Hermione from coming back to this point. She alluded to this fact so casually, so he nearly forgot about it, but it's been driving him mad all morning. He longs to know what can possibly happen between now and then to make him want to stop her, because from where he stands right now, she's probably the best thing that's ever happened to him.
Suddenly, Remus hears footsteps coming up the stairs. He quickly rolls over so that he can pretend to be asleep if he doesn't feel like speaking to whoever's coming to check in on him.
Floorboards creak as the person steps in. "Remus, you awake yet?"
He wonders who suggested that Peter come up to him, because he has difficulty imagining that Peter would want to check up on him of his own accord. From the smell of it, he's brought food.
Well, that's alright then.
"Yeah, yeah." Remus opens his eyes and gives Peter a tentative smile as he sits up. "Morning."
"I come bearing breakfast. Mr. Potter did a fry-up."
Remus's face lights up as he exclaims, "Oh, good." All of Fleamont Potter's cooking is delicious, but his fry-ups are legendary among his son's friends. He claims that he simply does it when he's lazy and has yet to do the shopping for the next week's cooking, but from where Remus and the others stand, they often end up being some of the most delicious meals the boys will eat while they are at the Potters' house.
Peter hands over the plate of food, and Remus begins to devour it eagerly. Peter continues to linger in silence for a few moments. "What do you think about this group that Dumbledore's started up?"
"The Order of the Phoenix?" Remus takes a minute to chew thoughtfully before saying, "I think it sounds like a great idea. It's about time that someone stood up to Voldemort."
"Sure, but… what if it's not enough?"
"Maybe the Order won't be enough, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. No matter how things turn out, I don't want to be around… 20 years from now, wondering whether things would have turned out better if I had been willing to make the hard choices."
"I suppose that's true," Peter mumbles. "Thanks Moony."
"Of course, mate," Remus replies, not quite sure what Peter is even thanking him for.
After that, Peter starts to chatter on about the plans that everyone has apparently been making downstairs in Remus's absence. Their plan to spend the day in the nearby village is far from the most desirable scheme that James and Sirius have cooked up—because of his reckless behavior the night before, Remus is still rather exhausted, and he also doesn't care for the forest at the best of times, so having to cut through it to reach the village so soon after the full moon will no doubt make him squirm.
But, on the other hand, if Hermione wants to go, it could be another opportunity to spend a few warm, comforting hours alone in her company. This is a prospect which he finds desperately appealing.
So once Remus has finished his meal, he says, "Wormtail, I think I'm up to come along. Can you tell the others to wait for me while I get dressed?" Peter assures him that they'd be happy to wait, and retreats with Remus's empty dishes while the young werewolf scrambles out of bed and peers into his wardrobe.
He wishes he had more Muggle clothing. His parents are not exactly poor, but they have never earned much money, meaning that their money has always gone toward his Hogwarts supplies and robes. He's mostly managed to accumulate his Muggle clothes by saving up his own pocket money.
That said, for Remus's birthday, his mother had surprised him with a gift of a new Fleetwood Mac tee-shirt. Since the day when he learned that Hermione is from the future, he has developed a renewed enthusiasm for the band that they had so tentatively bonded over, and his mother took this excitement to heart after he requested their newest album in a letter.
Glancing at himself in the mirror, Remus notes how peaky he still looks, but he can't help smiling at his reflection. With his ragged jeans and Muggle band tee-shirt, he feels that he looks almost cool.
Everyone is waiting in the Potters' sitting room when he gets downstairs, all of them also dressed for their outing. James exclaims, "Blimey, Moony, took you long enough," but Remus hardly hears him; he catches Hermione casting her gaze over him, then looking him in the eye and grinning. He grins back.
"Let's go, then," he tells James.
For the fun of it, Sirius turns into a dog again almost as soon as they've entered the forest. He amuses the others by chasing birds and bringing Peter a stick, wagging his tail eagerly until his friend dutifully throws it for him to fetch.
"What's the village like?" Hermione asks Remus once the amusement of Sirius's antics has faded somewhat.
Remus chuckles. "Not too great, to be honest. We usually only go once or twice before we get bored, and now that we can all legally apparate, I expect we might just start going to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley when we fancy a day out. It's alright, though. A fair number of people have summer houses around, both wizards and Muggles, so there are some decent shops and cafes."
"Sounds nice enough." She glances over at him with a soft smile. "I like your shirt, by the way. It looks good on you. My dad gave me one just like it for my fifteenth birthday."
"Yeah?"
Hermione nods, her smile growing. "Mine's a bit old and faded, though."
It's likely that she expected this to draw a laugh from Remus, but he doesn't know quite what to think of it. He wishes he could go more than five minutes at a time without being reminded that their situation is far from normal. Glancing up at James and Lily, who are happily strolling along with their hands clasped, he feels a rush of brief but intense envy.
"I'm sorry," Hermione mumbles. Remus looks over to her. He begins to feel better as soon as he sees her expression—she looks so concerned. "I thought it was funny."
"No, it is, I just… I forget how strange this is. I want to feel like we're on the same footing, but we're… not. You know so much that I don't know."
She grabs for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "If it helps at all, my parents have probably only just met."
Remus raises his eyebrows. "Surprisingly, that doesn't really help."
Then Hermione settles her free hand on his cheek and leans in close to kiss Remus softly. When she pulls back, his eyes are closed, and he's smiling a little bit now. "That helps some."
He holds her hand more tightly after that.
It takes about twenty more minutes for the group to reach the outskirts of the village, and another five for them to get to the first road of shops. Almost immediately, Lily catches sight of a pretty dress in a shop window and pulls James in along with her to have a look at it. Sirius and Peter disappear soon after into a Muggle music shop, leaving Hermione and Remus alone.
"Where would you like to go?" he asks her. "There's a nice coffee shop down this road a ways."
She's considering this suggestion when she catches sight of something else. "What about that bookstore?"
"Brilliant idea," Remus says, smirking.
There's no one in the shop except for a bored twenty-something perched at the counter in the front of the shop. He's perusing a Superman comic—catching a glimpse of the cover, Hermione thinks she recognizes it from her parents' collection. The boy looks over the top of his comic book and examines Hermione and Remus briefly. "Hi," he grunts. "Can I help you?"
Remus cheerfully says, "We're just looking, thanks."
For nearly two hours, they browse together. Eventually, they leave with a few selections each. Remus fumbles with the Muggle money, scrutinizing the bills with an unnecessary amount of concentration before handing over his payment. While the cashier is bagging up Remus's purchase, Hermione mutters, "Isn't your mum a Muggle?"
He grins bashfully over his shoulder. "We always just exchange her money, so I only use Muggle money when I'm here with James."
"Wizards," Hermione scoffs.
After leaving the bookstore, they do make their way to the coffee shop that Remus mentioned. Hermione suggests that they sit outside, and Remus agrees eagerly.
"Does it bother your mum that you don't know about… Muggle things?" Hermione asks as they sit watching tourists and locals shuffling down the street.
"Not really." Remus stirs his coffee thoughtfully. "She shares some stuff with me. Mostly music. We used to go to a lot of concerts, but she got sick a few years ago and it's been hard since then."
Hermione's eyes widen, and she immediately gets very quiet. "She what? But I thought… I thought that was just your excuse for your disappearances during the full moon. Your mum really is ill?"
"I mean, she wasn't at first," he mumbles. "It was near the end of fourth year. She got black cat flu, which isn't much trouble for a wizard, but Muggles… it's deadly. Not immediately, but it kills them eventually."
Leaning her elbows on the table between them, Hermione grips both of Remus's hands hard. "Thank you for telling me."
"Just don't tell James and the others, alright? They feel sorry enough for me without knowing that my mum will be lucky if she lives another six months."
With a dutiful nod, Hermione disregards the tears prickling in her eyes in order to say, "So if you never really lived like a Muggle, that means you probably wouldn't know much about what my parents do. They're both dentists, have you ever heard of those?"
"No, do tell," Remus says. He's appreciative for the change of subject, and thoughts of his mother are all but pushed from his mind as he listens to Hermione's eager stories about her parents' work repairing Muggle teeth.
Sirius and James find them in that same spot almost an hour later. By this point, their glasses are long forgotten. Hermione has moved her chair around the table so that she and Remus can read one of their new books together, interrupted by only brief arguments about their page-turning speed.
"You two alright?" Sirius asks, and it's only then that Hermione and Remus truly process the presence of their friends.
"Mhm," Remus says absently, looking back down at the book almost as soon as he's acknowledged Sirius and James with a nod.
James tries after that, asking, "So are you two ready to walk home?"
"Not quite," Hermione mutters.
"After this page," Remus adds.
"Okay…" Sirius and James turn to look at each other; Sirius rolls his eyes.
Another twenty seconds pass in complete silence before Remus says, "Alright, fine, I'm done. Want to read the rest after dinner?"
Hermione looks like she'd like nothing more, but James pips up and speaks first. "Great, I'm glad to see that you two have been enjoying yourselves. If you want to stick around, it wouldn't be a problem."
"No, no, I think I'm about ready." Glancing over at Hermione, Remus wishes that he could say otherwise, but as it is, he knows that he should be taking better care of himself as he tries to recover from the moon. "Where are Lily and Wormtail?"
"They're trying to haggle for some record. We figured we'd come and find you, but now we can go see how they're getting on."
Remus and Hermione share an amused glance the moment they walk into the music shop. Lily has nearly scared the vendor out of his wits. She's got a bag in her hand with all of her records, making all of her friends wonder precisely what she's yelling at the cashier for if she's already made her purchase. Peter, who has been watching in awe, is all too happy to fill them in.
"He tried to give her a discount for being pretty," he announces. "That was nearly ten minutes ago. She's been letting off steam since."
"Discount for being pretty?" James exclaims. Despite his better judgment, this fact immediately compels him to rush forward into the fray. To Hermione's surprise, Lily looks pleased that James has jumped in. Meanwhile, Hermione glances over to Remus, who looks neither bored nor impressed.
Under her breath, Hermione says, "My mum always told me that I should feel no shame in accepting discounts for any reason, but I don't think I'd take that offer either."
Remus replies, "Do you think he'd give me a discount for being pretty? There's this Led Zeppelin album I've been wanting…"
"It wouldn't hurt to try."
Whether Remus would have actually tried for that discount, Hermione never finds out (although she suspects, rather proudly, that he would have), because before they can meander over to the Led Zeppelin records, Lily turns away from the counter and huffs loudly. "Alright everyone, let's go."
"Maybe next time," Hermione tells Remus with a grin.
On the walk back, Sirius starts to grumble about the distance almost immediately. "Why can't we just apparate?"
James sighs. "Because, Padfoot…" But then he trails off, looking around. The trees do a remarkable job of shielding them from view of any Muggle houses. "Hang on, I suppose we could. What d'you reckon, should we?"
"There's no harm in it," Sirius says.
"You did say that you just didn't want to apparate here in case we appeared too close to some Muggles, but there's no one around now," Lily adds.
It appears that they've talked themselves into it rather easily. But with a glance at Hermione, who is in turn looking up at him thoughtfully, Remus pipes up, "I think we'll just walk." The prospect of hanging around in the forest is much more appealing with her by his side.
"Are you sure?" James asks, looking between Hermione and Remus. "It's going to be dinnertime soon."
"We have plenty of time," Hermione assures him.
Only thirty seconds later, James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter have all disapparated, leaving Remus and Hermione alone in an otherwise quiet forest.
Remus blinks down at her. "Shall we get a move-on, then?"
Hermione hesitates. "I mean, we have got plenty of time, haven't we?"
"Sure, probably an hour at the least." He's begun to smile now.
"Very good, then."
Within moments, Remus is kissing Hermione. There's nothing unnerving about the forest when she's there for him to cling to. They stumble over twigs and roots, trampling numerous small plants on their way to a nearby tree. Hermione's back hits the rough bark and she gasps into Remus's open mouth, causing him to giggle.
She recovers quickly, though, her fingers weaving into his hair as she kisses him with a renewed vigor.
Remus's heart is stuttering in his chest, his mind is racing. He longs to—
One of Hermione's hands inches beneath his tee-shirt and grazes a large gash on his stomach. It's not fresh, but it's still only a few months old, and as soon as her fingers brush over it, Remus practically leaps away from her.
"Wha—" She stares at him, her eyes wide. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
He shakes his head carefully. "No, no, it's just…" Remus's shirt is already covering his torso, but he tugs at it self-consciously anyway.
"I don't… I don't care about your scars, Remus," Hermione whispers.
"But I do, alright?" He's breathing hard now. Running his fingers through his hair, he stares down at the ground. "They drive me mad. I thought I'd be okay with you—" He falters. "But I don't think I am. Not yet."
"Okay." Hermione takes a few tentative steps closer to Remus, reaching out for him. When he doesn't move away, she straightens his shirt where it's riding up a bit. "Can I at least tell my friends I got your shirt off?"
Remus finally cracks a smile, laughing as he buries his face in her shoulder and lingers there. He presses a kiss to her skin where her jaw meets her neck. "Let's go home."