I am so excited about this chapter. In here is the healing of a friendship, and the pillars will be set and ready after this for heavier stuff soon to come. Also, we land on Virmire at the end of this chapter! Yeah! I love that planet. It's almost time for some of the most crucial and nailbiting, hair-raising storyline elements!

Fairly long chapter, and I can't wait to see what you think of it, so I'm going to stop talking now!

Chapter 10

Wrex and I were at the arms locker together, each pulling our weapons and preparing them for battle. I cleared my throat to get the krogan's attention, but he was wholly consumed with his shotgun, checking it over.

I tried a more obvious approach. "Wrex?"

"What is it, Williams?" Wrex didn't even look at me.

"I need to talk to you before we reach Tuntau. Please."

Wrex finally placed his shotgun down on my table and looked me in the eyes. "I have a feeling this is one of those emotional conversations that humans think is essential, while I would rather avoid it entirely." His dry tone made me chuckle. Well, that, and my own nervousness.

"I'll keep it short for you," I promised.

"Then I'm listening."

I sighed. "I need to apologize to you. I took part in an investigation into your background. I invaded your private files and vidmails. I was checking to see if you were on the level. It started very shortly after you came aboard."

"So? Find anything interesting?"

I shook my head. "No, but I think the key point here is that I didn't trust you—and I didn't tell you what I was doing. I'd understand if you're upset with my duplicity. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier instead of keeping it a secret all this time."

Wrex's arm shot towards me in a blur, and he grabbed me by the wrist, squeezing so tight that the blood couldn't flow into my hand. "Do you remember this?" he demanded.

Just like when I pulled a gun on him, the first time we met. I nodded, frightened and in pain. I grunted and sighed all at once, trying to keep my voice down. Wrex impossibly tightened his grip and pulled me close. For a moment, I had a horrifying image of being eaten alive by the massive reptile. Surely he can't do that, right?

Instead, he mumbled in his uniquely powerful voice, "So do I, Williams. You were never duplicitous with me. I knew exactly who you were and what you were capable of when I met you. I accepted that then, and I accept it now. Is that clear?"

"Yeah," I wheezed because of the pain.

"Good." Wrex released my wrist, and I pulled away from him, rubbing my hand and clamping my teeth together to distract my body with a different sensation. My breathing was heavy. Wrex shrugged, showing no signs of exertion himself. "At least you got past it. I've had people hire me as a mercenary, and never trust me, from the first meeting to the final payment. It got tiresome very quickly to have to jump through all their security hoops to appease them."

"We're ok?" I asked timidly, unsure. "Really?"

Wrex looked me straight in the eyes when he answered. "Of course, Williams. You're a true warrior. Hell, you just gave a krogan battlemaster a reason to be angry with you while standing five feet away with nothing but a bunch of disassembled weapons nearby. That takes guts, Williams."

I smiled, still rubbing my hand. "Seems I was a mite foolhardy."

"Don't go soft on me, Williams," Wrex warned. He returned to his shotgun, smirking.

I nodded. "Fine, tough guy. You win."

"I always do," the krogan shot back. "Now get back to work. I still need a wingman down on Tuntau."

() () () () ()

The Normandy reached Tuntau without interruption; all mission-priority traffic remained silent for the Spectre's ship. The crew seemed to discuss the mission nonstop. I kept my ear to the ground to judge the responses to our latest mission. I heard more than a few approving remarks that we were finally taking the fight to the bad guys. I heard another say it meant nothing if it didn't affect Saren. Fortunately, that crewman's opinion seemed to be in the minority.

Shepard informed us that my armor and his would be recording the mission. After it was completed (and assuming it was rightly successful), we would be releasing footage from the helmet cameras to the crew. He wanted everyone to feel like they played a part in the mission's success and hopefully inspire the crew to improve their morale and move with a renewed sense of purpose. I approved of the idea. Wrex stated he could care less, but I smirked at his words. One day I'd prove that mercenary gave a damn about us; he couldn't lie to us forever.

Wrex, Shepard, Corporal Dennon, and I were in the mako driving towards Tonn Actus' base of operations on the planet. The air was filled mostly with methane and helium, making it unable to support human life. It was located 20 AU from the sun, yet this atmosphere trapped heat so effectively that it was rather temperate. We approached the base from the southeast. A mountain obscured our view, but it had a wandering path through it to the other side. We were on that path, approaching the final turn that would bring us into view of the base.

We stopped short of rounding the bend. We all secured our suits with full-seal helmets, and I opened the hatch, closing it behind me. I ran up the hill slightly to get off the path, and then worked my way along the rocky surface until I was over the side and could see the base in the distance—a good two hundred meters distant. I pulled out my sniper rifle and began scanning the area with my scope—starting first with what open areas I could see near us, and then eventually settling on the base itself. I hadn't found any patrols yet, but there were guards outside the base keeping watch.

"I see six outside," I informed the rest. "No signs of patrol activity. There might not be—it would save them oxygen if they only guarded the perimeter."

Shepard agreed, "It's possible. Keep looking for another five minutes, then fall back to the mako, and we'll close in on the base."

"Sir," I acknowledged, keying off my microphone. The next five minutes passed slowly and quietly. I found no further contacts beyond the immediate perimeter of the base. I pulled back to the mako, climbing inside. A minute later the mako's life support systems cleared the air I'd brought in with me and restored a good oxygen level. That's when we all removed our full-seal helmets to save our suit oxygen for later.

The mako crept closer towards the base when a raid siren filled the air, coming from the base. The mercenaries defending this base came to full battle awareness and spied us closing in on them in the mako. They opened fire, but the mako's kinetic barriers kept it undamaged. The mercs quickly took cover as Wrex aimed the 155mm mass accelerator cannon straight ahead and fired it at them. With a powerful explosion, one of the barricades set up for cover was completely demolished. One soldier of fortune was thrown back by the blast, right off their feet. I grinned as we pulled up to the base, continuing to fire. Everyone sealed up their suits in preparation for opening the mako's door. Wrex used the anti-infantry machine gun to suppress the enemy while I departed from the mako, exiting on the far side away from the mercenaries. I ran away from the battle, picking a good spot for cover that was somewhat elevated to give me an advantageous firing position.

I dove into position, breathing heavily from my sprint, but ready to go. I flipped off my back onto my stomach and raised the sniper rifle, beginning to take stock of the evolving battlefield. From the near-constant fire coming from the mako, I imagined Wrex must be having a ball shooting anything that moved. I could tell the mercs were quite demoralized by the overwhelming presence of enemy armor because they mostly stayed bunkered down. Shepard drove the mako straight into a sniper tower, breaking it while draining considerable kinetic barrier shielding from the mako. The tower, and the sniper inside, fell to the ground in a heap of twisted limbs and metal. Shepard kept going, swerving erratically back and forth to keep the mercs from being able to target it effectively with anything bigger than their small arms.

I zoomed in and found one merc hiding near the doorway to the base with a grenade. He stood up and rocked back—he was about to throw. I aimed right at him—a stationary target at less than eighty meters. I pulled the trigger, feeling the weapon buck against me and hearing the shot ring out above the din of the battle taking place before me. The target slumped right where he was, and the grenade must have detonated, because a moment later the whole area was enveloped in an explosion. I could hardly see the surviving mercs hiding behind their solid barricades, and I doubted they could see—much less hear—anything either.

The survivors stopped shooting the mako and laid down their arms—I could see one ordering the rest to surrender. The smoke near the entrance continued to dispel, and I could finally see the door—or doorway, rather. The door was gone—blown apart by the merc's grenade. We had an entrance into the facility, no hacking required. I smiled. Perfect!

Shepard departed from the mako, while Wrex and I covered him. He collected weapons from four mercs—the only ones still alive. I watched him zip-tie their arms behind them and their legs together. They weren't going anywhere—especially not when this was their only source of additional oxygen on the surface of the planet. Corporal Dennon guarded the survivors with his assault rifle. Wrex, Shepard, and I proceeded through the blown-open doorway into the base.

The room we entered had two bodies—guards who'd been right on the other side of the door when it was blown apart. Shepard checked that they were dead before ordering us to advance on the interior.

I had switched to my assault rifle, not sure what the range to target was likely to be once the inside door was opened into the next room. We covered up on the wall and opened the door, throwing flash-bang grenades inside. The mercenaries cried out in pain, and we stormed inside, ordering their surrender.

"Weapons down!"

"Get down now!"

"Make my day, human!" Wrex challenged.

I noted the mercenaries were a mix of only two species; human and turian. More than likely, this particular crook had amassed his gang by recruiting loyal soldiers he commanded from the war, and it had expanded from there.

The dazed mercenaries all quickly complied with our orders, and we went around collecting their weapons and binding them the same as the four outside. Wrex found a supply closet that was locked. Shepard took a look at it, working quickly to hack it. I guarded the prisoners.

Wrex and Shepard took cover as Daniel engaged the override and opened the door. Immediately, a shotgun blast went right out the door—somebody had been waiting for this and decided to attempt a surprise attack. His advantage was blown now, however, and Shepard threw in a flash-bang grenade before Wrex ran inside.

Less than a minute later, a turian was hauled roughly out of the room, kicking and screaming. I wanted to observe the desperation setting into his face when he saw all his mercenary friends handcuffed and helpless, but I didn't dare take my eyes off of them. They may be handcuffed, but they're far from helpless. Don't let your guard down or they might try to strangle you with their bonds.

Wrex gave Tonn Actus a hard hit to the stomach, and the turian crumpled at his feet, wheezing in pain. Shepard secured the storage room and reported that the base was secure. He opened up a channel to the ship next, "Normandy, this is Shepard. We've secured the base. Get over here pronto; we have a lot of prisoners. Tell the Alliance to send a cruiser with some room in their brig."

"Aye, Sir." Pressley's voice came over the comm. "The Alliance is sending a ship now, and we're two minutes out."

"You have something of mine," Wrex calmly informed Actus. "I'd like it back."

"I won't give you anything, brute," Tonn shot back.

"I'm not with the Alliance, pea-brain," Wrex reminded him. "I don't have anything to hold me back from torturing it out of you."

"What do you want!?" he seethed.

"You possess the Urdot clan family armor. You give it back, and you'll visit prison with all your limbs intact. Otherwise, I get creative." Wrex pulled a sharp, long blade from a sheath built into his armor. I hadn't noticed it before because it blended with the rest of the uniform quite well.

Tonn looked contemplative for a moment before realizing what it was Wrex was looking for. "You came after me, for that?" he asked, incredulous. "That's practically worthless!"

"You know nothing about value, turian," Wrex shot back. "I'm getting impatient." He brought the blade's flat edge to rest against the turian's mandible briefly.

"Fine, fine, fine!" Tonn agreed, shying away from the krogan's knife. "I have it! It's here—in the storage closet, inside the wall safe."

Wrex lowered his knife and gently pressed the point of it against the man's kneecap. "I think you skipped the part where you tell me the code."

I could tell Tonn was raging from his clipped tone as he gave out the code. I was feeling pretty good—I stole a glance at Wrex and his quarry. I smirked. My sense of justice was definitely appeased watching the criminal forced to back down by none other than my fearsome krogan ally.

I still kept a close eye on the tied-up prisoners I was responsible for. Wrex came back a few moments later. From my peripheral vision I knew he was carrying something big and bulky—perhaps he'd found his family's armor after all. The Normandy had arrived, and the rest of Fireteam One was now entering the facility. I was no longer alone in guarding the prisoners inside the building. Corporal Dennon brought in his group of four to join the rest, and the room was closed to the outside air so everyone could breathe easy. I disengaged the full-seal helmet and started breathing the base's air.

After I was relieved of guard duty, Wrex showed the armor to me. It was pot marked with holes, thin and worn in places, and coming apart in a spot or two. I couldn't help thinking, Actus wasn't kidding when he said it was worthless.

Wrex intoned, "I can't believe my ancestors ever wore this piece of crap, but at least I got it back." I couldn't have imagined it—but he actually sounded grateful! There was a look in his eyes I'd never seen before, and I knew I was seeing more of him than he ever let anyone see. Wrex really is just like all of us. He's truly touched.

Shepard spoke up before me. "I'm glad we could help you get it back." He moved away to check on the prisoners, including Tonn Actus.

"I might just be starting to like you, Shepard," Wrex told him as he walked away. Shepard paused and looked back. He nodded very seriously to the krogan, and then turned and continued on his way.

I smiled. "What a day. Now this is a mission worth remembering."

"I won't forget it, that's for sure." Wrex gripped the armor tighter, causing its leather joints to make a crinkling sound. "Thanks, Williams. None of this would have happened if you hadn't been there to convince Shepard."

"I'm glad I could help, Wrex," I told him, meaning it to the very core of my being.

() () () () ()

The Alliance prisoner transport Jericho picked up Tonn Actus and his hired goons, carrying them away. No doubt the Council would want to prosecute the mercs in their own court system for operating within the black market for Rebellion artifacts. Meanwhile, Wrex had his family armor placed in a secure crate I'd emptied for him. It would keep the armor undisturbed from further degradation until Wrex could decide if he wanted to restore it or leave it the way it was.

Shepard ordered Pressley to set up a meandering course for the Citadel that would pass through many of our colony systems. He was probably hoping that would put the Normandy in a closer position to defend the next human colony to be attacked.

The video shown to the crew had all the essential parts, and someone had gotten creative adding a triumphant soundtrack to it. The crew all seemed to enjoy it, and Lieutenant Alenko told me that crew efficiency was back on the rise—not perfect, but at least it was a step in the right direction. Even I was feeling a little better, knowing that Wrex accepted me with my faults and remained a solid friend. I don't have enough friends as steadfast and forgiving as he is, I decided.

Liara seemed to have withdrawn entirely at this point, however. I saw her almost every day, but always by herself—working out alone to stay in shape, grabbing food from the mess hall before returning to her office to eat it, and generally avoiding contact with anybody, including me.

Today I was sitting with Commander Shepard—one of those rare lunches with the boss. The conversation was sparse, and the majority of the time was spent eating quietly. Throughout it all, I found it hard to be excited about it. Normally, I'd love to talk shop like this with a decorated soldier like Shepard. Lately, I was finding all of it felt incredibly—empty. I struggled to concentrate on what my CO was saying. He was telling me about new models rolling out in the Spectre circles—the Council had informed him he had his choice of one Spectre-grade weapon for free.

"Since I have to go to the Citadel to get it anyway, I was considering buying more upgrades for some of our older weapons—like your sniper rifle."

My eyes shot up to meet his, surprised. He had my full attention now. "Really? You—noticed?"

Daniel grinned ruefully. "Hard not to. That weapon has got to be as old as the Alliance."

"Oh, I imagine so," I answered seriously to a statement I knew had been a simple hyperbole—he meant it as a joke. I should be excited. I should be raising my hands in victory or drumming my hands on the table. I should be bantering with him about it. Instead, I'm just sitting here. Why, Ash, why? Why can't you stop her from ruining this moment too? Why can't you put her out of your mind, just for now?

Shepard compensated and acted much less excited to match my level of engagement. "Good, then it's decided. Seeing as the sniper rifle's the most expensive of the line, I'll use the freebie on that purchase. The rest, I figure should be a couple Spectre-grade assault rifles. One for me, and one or two for anyone else on the mission with me."

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed. "Did you tell Alenko about this yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Ok."

"You feeling all right, Chief? I thought you'd be a little more excited."

I finished another bite of my meal. It is even more bland than yesterday, I noted. "Sorry, Sir. I'm fine, just—tired."

"All right. Get rested up; I need the whole crew to be at their peak."

"Don't worry about me, Sir," I told him.

"Oh, and I'll be sure to fill Alenko in next," Shepard assured me, slightly awkwardly.

I tried to fix the conversation by injecting a false sense of humor into my next statement. "I wonder if he'd even know what to do with one. He seems to prefer to use a pistol."

Shepard didn't find it funny. "Good point. Perhaps I can afford one of those, too. That could work out nice—I'll have to talk with our Requisition Officer, see what he's got on hand."

I nodded. "I'm excited, Sir." No I'm not. I should be. I want to be, but I'm not. I don't care about a stupid gun. It won't fix any of my real problems on this ship.

Shepard rolled with the white lie, probably wanting to avoid discussing the reasons for my less than enthusiastic attitude. "Me too. I've read up on all of them—these weapons are the bleeding edge when it comes to destructive power." He also tried valiantly to punch up the dead spirit surrounding us. "I expect the bad guys will start running the minute they see what we're packing. They won't know the specifics about our weapons, but anyone who sees Spectre-grade weaponry definitely understands it's not something they want to go up against."

"Good," I pronounced, feigning a grin.

"I think I'll send the order in tonight so the weapons will be ready before we arrive."

That was where our conversation not just stagnated, but outright died. Fortunately for both of us, not long after Shepard's statement, his radio squawked. He activated it. "Shepard here."

"Commander." It wasPressley from the CIC.

"What is it, Mr. Pressley?"

"We're receiving a priority video call—it's the Council. They want to talk to you."

"Tell them I'll be right there," Shepard ordered, closing the radio channel. "Duty calls."

"Aye, Sir." I stood up as he did.

"As you were, Chief." Shepard turned and left the mess hall. I retook my seat.

I spied Liara in the food line, working on filling her tray. My eyes roamed her from head to toe before I blinked away my distraction. She looked good; healthy. She was obviously a person more than capable of caring for her body, even with all the drama surrounding her, trying to distract her. I was relieved. Although it was impossible to imagine, I was nevertheless certain I would have felt even guiltier than I already did if I'd caused her to fall apart physically or get sick. Liara... Liara what is it about you that makes it so I can't stop thinking about you? Why do I hate myself so much? It's like I reflect you—your opinion about me is my opinion about myself. Maybe I do know the answer, and I just don't want to admit it to myself. Well, fine. No running away from it. The reason I hate myself so much...

I thought about it for only a short time before the answer occurred to me. It's because I can't believe what I did to my own friend. She's so important to me; she's the most important person on this ship! I haven't made a best friend like her in years. Maybe ever. Who else do I have to confide in? Who else shares my beliefs about the existence of God? Dammit, Ashley! You let her down!

I should have just told her a long time ago, before it got this bad. I never should have tried to cover it up. We got to the point that we could trust each other with anything, and I still said nothing about my investigation with Pressley. That's what hurt her the most; I know it. I said nothing.

I know what I did was wrong. I've admitted that, haven't I? Maybe not in so many words. Maybe that's the problem. How much longer can we keep this up? How much longer can I keep this up? If Liara won't forgive me, I don't even want to be here anymore.

What? Did I—just say I wanted to leave?

Ash?

Well, what does any of it matter if she won't speak to me! You can talk about sniper rifles, armor, and fighting the bad guys with Shepard and the others all you want, but it won't be enough to stop you from thinking about this! About her! All the time! I think you've proven this pretty well by now.

Maybe my dream was right. Maybe I should leave. Transfer off the ship. Back to a colony world. You know they'll love to approve that request—probably the fastest personnel approval in Alliance history. Out of the way—far away from anything and everything that matters. Being a soldier on this ship isn't making me happy, it's making me depressed. Really depressed. Seeing her every day is like torture. My own hell. Maybe Athame really is turning me away.

… No. I'm going to keep fighting this, because I am worth it. I know I am. Maybe I need to tell her that. Maybe I'm not perfect, but my God doesn't ask me to be perfect on my own strength and power. She at least needs to know that I'm different now.

Liara exited the food line and took her tray towards the exit. She never ate in the mess anymore. I decided to follow Liara out of the mess and confront her again. Things between us were far from set into stone, in my opinion, and I wasn't about to give up now. Sometimes my stubbornness can be a good thing. I hope it is today.

I followed her svelte form to the med bay, and beyond that, to her lab. It was only the two of us now. She spied me from the corner of her peripheral vision, took a double take, and then turned her chair purposely away from me. I saw her full back, meant as an offense, but instead all I could think about was how soft she looked even at this angle. She was fragile, smooth, and breakable, but she was also precious and—rare.

"Liara," I started, then stopped. "Liara, we have to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you," Liara calmly informed me. "Except that when this mission is over, I'm leaving this ship and never want to see any of you again."

"Please," I begged. "Hear me out. You don't have to say anything."

Liara spun her chair around to face me. Her face was emotionless but hard, much harder than I imagined she could ever look. It was a surprising look on her. "Go ahead."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Ok, let me start by saying, I'm sorry—again. It wasn't personal, it was my own prejudices affecting me. And later, I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that you—well that you'd hate me, just like you do now.

"I want you to know I'm thankful, too. I'm thankful for all the time I got to spend with you, learning from you, sharing with you. When we talked about things like food and discussed religion, or anything along those lines, big or small, I loved every minute of it. You've opened my eyes and shown me how to see from another species' point of view. You're the reason I'm not the same judgmental person I once was. I'm thankful for the change you've sparked in my life.

"You mean so much more to me than just another alien. Way more than I could ever put into words. I think of you as my best friend, and it hurts me to think that I've hurt you this way—that we aren't ok." I stopped. Things hadn't exactly been fully scripted in my head going into this, but I was a little surprised how easily the words had come. They were the truth. She complemented my personality, and our sum seemed so much greater than the parts. Certainly much more than my small and modest part. Neither of us were much for words, except with each other. It was as confounding an enigma as it was a welcome one.

I used to only concern myself with my squad—my job. As I'd told Liara before, I swore off boyfriends—but I didn't really stop there. My decision snowballed on me, and I walled myself away from anyone. I had no close friends for a long time. I was a capable squad commander, and I cared for the soldiers under my command, but I wasn't their friend; I was their commander.

Liara had taught me the error of my ways. She'd let me glimpse what it was like to depend on someone on a personal level again. All great relationships—the ones that lasted through everything and that you would never forget—taught you something. It felt to me like my relationship with Liara had taught me everything. She'd found her way in past my cool exterior, and she'd become just about the most important person in my life right now.

I remembered how we bonded when we'd talked about religion. Before I screwed it up, being around Liara was the most natural thing I could do on this ship. We fit together in a way I'd never thought possible with anyone, be the person human or otherwise.

I have to have her in my life, I just have to! I'd never quite realized how much she'd come to mean to me as I had now, and I felt unnerved and off-balance. How did this happen? I wondered. What is she going to say? What are you going to do? How is this going to work out?

I reached up with my left hand and rubbed the back of my neck briefly before returning it uselessly to my side. "I guess that's all," I finished; eyes briefly widening with terror. Suddenly I didn't want to know her answer. To hear her tell me I'd had my chance and wasted it. It was so stifling in this room that I worried I was going to pass out; losing all ability to remain standing here any longer, I turned and left so the doors separated us once again.

I stopped halfway through the med bay, finally able to breathe again, and turned back to see the door Liara was hiding behind. Or am I the one who's hiding out here? Hmm? I willed her to come out and stop me before I ran further, talk to me. You don't have to completely forgive me, just talk with me, please! I just need a little help, a small sign! I promise I'll never hurt you again, I begged. I had no idea how long I stood there and stared, but it felt like a very long time before Doctor Chakwas came up alongside me.

"Problem, Chief?"

I turned to her, angry and thankful for her intervention. "No, Ma'am. I'll be on my way." I turned away briskly and retreated from the med bay. As soon as I was outside, my radio squawked. "Gunnery Chief Williams," I supplied, my voice listless.

Commander Shepard's voice addressed me. "Chief, get up to the comm room. We have a situation."

I headed immediately up the steps and into the comm room, taking a seat next to where I knew Wrex would sit. Soon we were all seated, even Liara. Shepard studied each of our faces before proceeding. "The Council—particularly the salarian councilor—has been actively sending teams out to look for Saren since his Spectre status was revoked. One of the salarian infiltration teams sent a priority-one alert to the Citadel, but it was too badly garbled to recover any information from it. All we know is it was sent from a team operating with standing orders to exercise radio silence, and sent on a mission-priority channel. There's a possibility they may have found something."

I sat forward in my chair. "Saren's base of operations?" I asked, daring to hope.

"It's too early to say," Shepard warned. "There are other reasons they might send a priority-one message—their ship might be disabled. We're going to check it out and find out what's going on."

Garrus nodded. "At this point, any news that doesn't include another human colony under attack is probably good news. We should be thankful we have a lead to follow up that doesn't come at the cost of civilian lives."

Shepard agreed with the turian. "Very true. Now, we're two hours from the Citadel, and we have to spend another hour discharging the drive core from all the time we've spent at FTL lately. Because of this necessary stop, I'm going to use the opportunity to bring aboard a few Spectre-grade weapons I've been able to afford. Williams will add them to the ship's weapons locker. With the exception of my assault rifle and Williams' sniper rifle, there are no names attached to them. They'll be handed out according to the mission profile and personnel dedicated to it.

"Since we are only spending an hour at the Citadel, I'm not allowing anyone to leave the ship unless its directly related to our objectives. No shore leaves, no distractions—I want this ship back on its way the moment the core charge buildup has been removed. Is that clear to all of you?"

There were no objections or questions raised. Shepard dismissed us to prepare.

() () () () ()

The soft light at my workstation made sure I didn't melt away and disappear into the shadows. Earlier, I had pulled a stool over and plunked myself down on it. The new weapons were all stowed away, and we were already on our way to Virmire—the planet the salarian team was on. My omni-tool was active and linked to the VI and the Normandy's database so I could pull up relevant information on the planet.

It had a pristine tropical environment in many areas, but so far no one had colonized it. It was too far removed from Citadel space, and that brought risks—as any human colonist in the Attican Traverse or Skyllian Verge could attest. For the time being, Virmire remained a virgin land, untouched, unpolluted, a paradise.

It was my shift for sleep; I was used to the med bay by now, and it didn't cause me any further issues. That was not why I was still awake, however. I couldn't sleep. I tried, but it was fitful, short, and the opposite of restful. My thoughts raced in circles around Liara. I tried to figure out what I was missing that would fix this situation and restore us to the way we'd been. On nights like this, waking up made me feel more drained than I had been before going to bed.

The lights of the mako bay began increasing their illumination level. It was signaling the start of alpha shift—the 'day' shift. I shut down my omni-tool, frustrated. Today, we'd reach Virmire and the landing party would attempt to make contact with the salarian infiltration team. I'd researched the salarian team's standard operating procedures in order to determine the best way to make a bloodless first contact with them. It seemed it would be relatively simple enough. The salarians would not fire first unless it was a warzone, which Virmire obviously wasn't, being so far from anything at all. They would recon us before reporting to Captain Kirrahe, who would make the call about contacting us. Then it was a simple matter of letting them guide us to their base camp.

All we had to do was make ourselves available and be sure to catch their attention. In theory, anyway, my pessimism pointed out. Hey, why are you being so negative about the mission? You sure it's really got anything to do with Virmire? Maybe you're still letting Liara get to you.

Well, that's old news, because I feel like I've been cleaved in half for a lot longer than that. I don't even know how I manage to push myself to do my job anymore. Why does it seem so empty? C'mon soldier, kick your ass into gear. Keep doing what you're doing. It'll get better, I think. You have to move on and get over her, or something...

I didn't really know what to do. I pushed myself up to my feet tiredly. I left the stool where it was and proceeded to get ready for my shift—shower, change of clothes, and breakfast. I then returned to my workstation and noticed a vidmail from my sister.

I smiled broadly. This was the best news I'd gotten in a long time. I wondered what she might have for me. For the moment, my issues melted away. I checked all around me to make sure I was alone. I was, so I eagerly played the message. It was from Sarah, my youngest sister. She was still in high school.

I was greeted by a goofy grin and eyes that danced with mirth. "Hey there rocket trooper."

I laughed. "Hey," I replied to the screen, although I knew she couldn't hear me.

"I was so surprised to hear you transferred to a ship! My gawd, Ashley! Do you know how happy we all are for you? You're really doing it!" Sarah's voice was filled to the brim with excitement as she rocked in her chair, looking like she was about to jump out of it. "All I want to do right now is grab you and give you the biggest, tightest bear hug in the world. Good for you, you know that? I'm so impressed, I'm beside myself.

"Just promise me you won't let all this space marine stuff go to your head! You're still a person, and we want to see you stay in one piece. You know we still expect to see you in another three weeks during your leave. Abby, Lynn, and me—we're all going to be at the house together waiting for you. I miss you so much Ashley! You know that?" A pang in my gut reminded me that I too missed all of them, even while I was swept up on a galactic adventure with the first human Spectre. It'd been far too long since I'd had a chance to visit them on leave.

"I guess you probably want to know, so know that Abby's fine. She's being great about taking care of Lynn and me. I can't wait for high school to end—senioritis, you know!!" Sarah laughed. I smirked. She kept going, "I met a great guy named Todd this semester. I know what you're thinking, but don't worry sis. You know I can look after myself. Dad made sure of that, and I always have Abby and Lynn." Upon mentioning our father, she straightened her shoulders and crossed her arms like Dad would, winking at me. I knew instantly what she meant. Dad had taught everyone in the house how to defend themselves, and any Williams sister was a match for a boyfriend that got a little too grabby. I knew she'd be all right, but I still worried, feeling like I was missing out on seeing her mature into a woman.

I was brought out of my reverie by Sarah relaxing her posture and continuing. "I'll be fine. And Todd's so fine too! I'll send you a picture next time. I have the perfect one; I just have to get Todd to hand it over."

Sarah leaned forward, resting her right elbow on the desk and settling her chin in her hand. It brought her much closer to the camera. Then she addressed me more secretively than before. "So what about your love life, huh? I haven't heard you talk about anything but work in like forever!" She rolled her eyes at me. "Ugh, you know I love you sis, but who wants to hear about military this and military that all the time? Give me something else! Anything else!" Sarah pulled back and sat up straight, and then giggled, talking louder. "Or are you getting shy on me!? Hmm? I'll find out. You know I will, if you don't tell me, so get to it! It's better hearing it from you directly."

I don't have anybody like that right now, sis. I only have Liara and Wrex. Well, I had Liara. I wondered how my sisters would react to hearing about how close I had gotten to Liara. It was definitely going to surprise them. They knew all too well how I used to feel about aliens. In their own varying degrees, I knew they felt the same way.

I heard a muffled voice that sounded very far away from the microphone that was recording Sarah's voice. It was Abby calling out from elsewhere in the house, "Sarah, dinner!" I could barely make out the words.

Sarah gave a big theatrical sigh. "I've gotta go, sis. You stay safe out there while you keep us all safe, hmm? I'll see you in three weeks."

Sarah got up from her chair to leave, but then remembered something and plunked herself back down. "Oh, before I go. You said you're serving with Commander Shepard now? We saw him on the news here. He's c-u-u-ute. Later sis!" Sarah gave me a meaningful look before she turned off the recording.

There was a thundering crash behind me as a tray of tools was knocked off the top of a elbow-high stack of storage containers behind me. I spun around in surprise, noticing three things almost immediately. One, Liara stood before me. Two, there were tools everywhere surrounding us. Three, she had a guilty, worried look marring her beautiful face.

"I—uh—I'm sorry," she began. "I turned without paying proper attention and bumped into the tools... I couldn't catch it, because it was too fast..."

"It's all right," I assured her, unable to prevent myself from smiling. "What brings you here, Liara?"

Liara ducked down to her hands and knees, beginning to collect the tools. I reluctantly joined her, wishing we could hold each other's steady gaze. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go. Although these things seemed impossible right now, I still wasn't about to let her ignore my question, as it seemed important. "You don't come around here often," I pointed out.

This wasn't precisely true. Liara hadn't come around often lately, but she'd spent many an hour here with me before everything blew up like so many tools cluttering the floor around us. Still, that particular reality stung me far too deeply for me to point it out aloud.

She murmured, "I've been busy," which was also a lie. This conversation is going so well I'd almost rather face a geth colossus. Really, it's just trading one kind of pain for another.

"I'm glad you're here," I told her honestly. "I've—missed you."

"I'm always around," she mentioned, but we both knew physical proximity wasn't what was keeping us apart. "I'm sorry, I overheard your sister talking when I approached."

"It's ok."

"Didn't you say that Shepard wasn't really—what was it—your 'type'?"

I coughed and fetched another tool from its resting place. "Yeah, I did say that."

"Have you reconsidered then?"

My eyes bulged. "Uh, no. Shepard is a great guy, but—." It doesn't really have anything to do with the rules for fraternization. He scares me as a person. It's hard to trust people like him on a personal level. Perhaps if I was more like him, I could understand him, and that would open the way for anything beyond the professional. I'm not like him, though, and I don't want to be.

"Oh." Liara avoided my eyes, continuing to concentrate primarily on the floor between us. She gathered up the final tools, and together we dumped the whole collection back in its tray. She stood up abruptly, putting the tray back where it had been before. I stood just as quickly, hoping now I would finally have a shot at catching her eyes, but to no avail.

Liara blushed. "Well, I've made a spectacle of myself enough for one day. I have to get ready for Virmire. I may not be part of the landing team, but I should still be ready just in case."

"Hold on," I pleaded.

Liara didn't turn to face me, but she did ask, "Yes?"

"Why did you come here?"

"It's nothing. Earlier you left in such a hurry, I didn't have a chance to tell you. I decided I had to let you know that I'm not mad at you anymore. Really. I can't be mad at you, or anyone, for very long. It just doesn't work like that for me, you know?" She laughed nervously, but it died off quickly. "Anyway. Thanks for your help with the tools. Good luck on Virmire."

"Liara?"

"What?"

My mind blanked. I fumbled, "I'm really glad you came."

"You said that earlier." Liara turned to leave.

"Oh," I answered, grimacing. Great work, Williams! Great work! I berated myself sarcastically.

Liara finally seemed to decide something and faced me appropriately since this whole awkward conversation had begun. "Also, I forgive you. It's hard to be around you, but—I can forgive you."

My breath caught, and I was too stunned for words. Liara waited a few moments, but when I said nothing, she mentioned needing to get ready again and turned, leaving me standing here, breathless, scarcely able to put two thoughts together. Thank God, I don't deserve it, but she forgives me! It feels so good—is this really real?

My radio interrupted the moment and brought reality crashing down around me. It definitely had been real, and now, it was over. I'd have to berate myself for getting tongue-tied later, however. "Chief, Shepard here. I wanted to give you an update—we're ten minutes out."

I shook free of whatever had frozen me in place and acknowledged his signal. "I'll be ready, Commander." I placed the Spectre-grade sniper rifle on my desk and went to my locker to grab my new armor and give myself the hardened shell I'd need to survive. As soon as that was done, I went back to grab the rifle, collapsed it, and clipped it on my back where my old sniper rifle used to go.

We had three Spectre assault rifles and one Spectre pistol. Commander Shepard decided speed and stealth might be essential so we could make contact with the salarian team quickly without drawing attention from any potential hostiles. To that end, he kept the ground team limited to three people—myself, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and himself. The three of us climbed into the mako and strapped ourselves to our chairs.

Over the mako radio, I heard Pressley report on what short-range LADAR had detected. "Stealth systems are active, Commander. We've found a structure of some kind built on the surface. It looks like a rather sizable base. It's got a lot of anti-aircraft batteries and radar."

"The Normandy might be able to hide, but the mako can't," Shepard reminded him. "Tell Joker to get us in underneath their radar."

"No problem, Commander," Joker's cocky voice assured us. "I'm already coming in on an approach vector. Hope you're not afraid to get a little wet, though."

Shepard looked to Alenko and I, grinning. "We can handle it." The mako bay door was opened, and I could see trees whipping past, dotting the hillside. We were flying extremely low, following above a river, it looked like to me, with an ocean not too far to our right.

"Launching in three... Two... One... Mark!" Joker counted down. A crewman pulled the release, and the mako shot forward under the acceleration of her catapult. Shepard gripped the wheel as we left the Normandy behind and splashed into the river, skipping across the water like an oversized skipping stone, before slowing down, allowing the wheels to grip the riverbed.

The water wasn't nearly as deep as I'd thought looking at it from above. Shepard pushed the pedal down, and the mako began to move through the water. While the waterway was wide, it had remarkably little current and little depth. The mako had no issue driving in this condition. I suspected the small mass effect core was probably increasing our mass somewhat to encourage better traction and less response to buoyancy.

"We're clear, Mr. Pressley. Great drop, Joker. We're on our way to the salarian team's signal. Keep the Normandy safe and far away from those AA guns until you hear otherwise. Shepard out."

Alenko was manning the cannon for the time being, so I sat back in my chair, bored. This looked like a sunny paradise, not a secret base for an evil turian. I half expected to find the salarians in shorts and tanning along the miles and miles of white beach. We proceeded for ten uninterrupted minutes before I was thrown against my restraints by some kind of impact. Kaidan called out, "Geth colossus!"

"Return fire!" Shepard ordered.

Kaidan swiveled the turret around towards the target that had blindsided us with a shot from its plasma cannon. I reported, "Shields down ten percent." Briefly I glanced back, beyond Alenko, to the weapons case that all our weapons were being stored inside. I wanted to have a weapon in my hands, but all I had was my sidearm. I just had to be patient and trust my CO to get us out of this one alive.

I felt the mako lurch as its powerful 155mm mass accelerator cannon shot at the enemy tank. The colossus' shields absorbed the impact, and the four-footed synthetic continued to aim right for us, unfazed. The mako took another hit to its shields.

"Seventy-nine percent," I updated the other two.

Kaidan fired another shell at it. "Commander, can you evade the plasma? It's too powerful, and we need to keep our shields up."

"I'm trying, but our maneuvering is really sluggish in this water," Shepard informed us. We took another hit to the shields.

I decided to take the initiative. "Sixty-nine percent. We can't keep doing this. Open up some distance between us."

"Why?" Shepard demanded.

"I have a plan. Just do it! We don't have time to argue!" I retorted. Shepard growled, but complied with my demands. After another round of plasma hit us, I disengaged my restraints and pushed myself past Alenko's chair to the weapons locker. I pulled out my sniper rifle and slammed a high explosive ammo block inside it.

"All right, when that thing fires its next shot, I'm getting out, so get me near some kind of cover. I'll try to distract it, or at least get us a little more damage to target. If you can get its barriers down quickly, I might get some good hits at that thing's head. Either way, at least it'll help our odds of surviving."

Shepard spun the wheel suddenly, heading for a group of trees. I squatted next to Alenko, gripping the arm of his chair to keep myself from falling over. As soon as Shepard cried, "Now!" I opened the hatch and dove out into the water. It closed behind me, and the mako accelerated away, spraying me further. I was completely soaked.

I got up without delay and hid behind the trees, wiping the excess water from my face. I heard another plasma shot hit the mako. The thundering booms of this back-and-forth tank exchange were frightening to say the least. I leaned out from cover, taking myself down to one knee. I ground the rifle butt tightly against my shoulder and aimed. I pulled the trigger and saw the kinetic barriers of the geth light up, although the bullet was too small and fast to see.

Steadying the recoil, I let up on the trigger, and then pulled it again. Another direct hit, but it accomplished little against the massive barriers of the tank. I needed Alenko to come through for all of us and get the tank's shields down. Then I'd be more helpful.

I fired a third time and the weapon overheated. I waited for the cooldown to elapse and the warning beep to go away. I fired another three shots. Meanwhile, the mako continued to attempt to evade the colossus, but with little success. Their shields had to be low. I saw another plasma hit the mako, and its shields must have collapsed then, because I saw it hit the armored hull instead, blackening and stressing it.

The colossus' shields were not far behind. Kaidan shot it again, and its kinetic barriers dissipated. I took aim at its plasma cannon head, waiting for it to stop moving erratically as it aimed at its own moving target. When the colossus didn't cooperate, I fired off three shots, hoping for a lucky one. Looking through the scope a moment later, I saw a small black hole on the side of its head—a direct hit. If I could do that a few more times, it would likely hit something important and disable the geth.

My weapon cooled, and I shot it twice in the neck and once in the head. The colossus turned away from the mako as Shepard drove it around some terrain to hide, possibly to recharge a little kinetic barrier energy.

The colossus and I were the only ones left now, and it knew right where I was. I saw the plasma unleashed at me and dove backwards, hoping against hope that the tree could protect me. The plasma went wide left, striking a different tree, which completely destroyed its almost-full-meter-wide trunk. It collapsed with a loud crash, falling out and away from the other trees covering me. I scrambled back to my feet and brought the rifle up again, firing three rounds in quick succession—too quick to absorb the recoil of the weapon fully. Two shots went wide, and one caught the colossus at the base of its neck where it connected to the rest of its body.

"Shit!" I swore, pulling back out of sight. I ran deeper into the small group of trees and took cover behind another one.

The plasma hit my former cover and demolished it. If I'd still been there, I'd probably be dead. It was my turn, though, so I uncovered and aimed. I felt the urge to panic as I heard mass accelerator rounds impacting the earth and trees around me—the colossus was firing its anti-infantry machine gun. I felt a vicious kick to my left arm which threw off my aim. My suit warned me kinetic barrier integrity was in danger from just a single bullet striking me. Distance was my only ally right now—our separation and the colossus' less accurate fire was keeping me alive. Another lucky shot, however, and my situation could change drastically. The anti-infantry weapon could blow my whole arm off if it hit me with a low barrier.

I straightened my aim, ignoring the suit's protest. I fired three more bullets right into the center of mass of the tank. The colossus continued to slowly advance towards me as it continued to fire. I took cover, waiting for my rifle. The enemy's next plasma hit the tree a good seven meters above me and shattered it. Debris rained down towards me, and I ducked, running for a different tree to avoid being struck by the large, dangerously heavy falling pieces of the one I had been using. I saw the top of the tree land not too far from where I had been moments ago—I probably would have been safe staying there, but only out of sheer luck.

I dropped to one knee and presented as small a profile as I could to the advancing tank, hiding most of my body behind a tree. I also used the tree to help me steady my shot. I fired three times, aiming for its head. It looked to me like all three shots struck home. The colossus' head jerked back, and I saw some kind of electrical arc jump between its head and water below. The whole thing collapsed to the ground, splashing water and creating circular waves that headed out in all directions. I gave a triumphant war whoop, and then hollered "You're mine, bitch!" at the defeated foe, extremely giddy from the natural high of victory.

The arcs continued to flow into the river for a few moments longer before a sudden explosion consumed the carcass. The plasma weapon had been hit while charging, and it had built up to an overload. I took cover behind the tree as small metal fragments flew past, embedding themselves in the trees behind me, in the dirt alongside me, and even cutting into the surface of the water that flowed not too far from me.

"Chief, are you ok? What just happened?" Shepard demanded over the radio.

I had completely forgotten to report the kill. I opened my channel. "Sir, target is down—repeat, target is down."

"Good. Double-time it over here, Gunnery Chief. The mako's out of commission. I got Alenko working on the repairs, and I'm going to assist him. I need you to be our perimeter guard and keep your eye out for more geth."

"Aye, Commander." I closed my microphone, but left the channel open so I could hear the other two. Vaguely remembering in what direction the mako had been when it disappeared from my view, I set off to meet back up with them. It was going to take a solid five to ten minutes on foot just to reach the bend.

When I arrived, Shepard started assisting Alenko, and I scouted out a tiny perimeter—I couldn't guard much territory as just one person. I figured the most likely interception would be from geth scout drones—fair against infantry, and faster than any other geth at covering ground. The colossus had plenty of time to report contact with us back to the rest—that would make the rest of this mission much more complicated and dangerous. I wondered about what may have happened to the salarians if they'd been found by the geth.

Virmire is HUGE, spanning the next two chapters, and the stakes will rise in the pursuit of Saren. Show of hands, how many people are excited to see the salarians fight? I know I had a blast writing about them instead of the same things we always experience as Shadow team in the game.

Every now and then, you just gotta have a big introspective think-scene in my opinion. This think-scene, along with every Liara scene, underwent a huge revision before I got it to the version you see here. I was too excited to jump-start the relationship before, and it just didn't feel quite as believable because of the vast, sudden covering of ground in the relationship between these women. I worked and worked with this, over and over, trying to find a better tone, something everyone could relate to. My beta reader was crucial to my efforts.

And now it's time to find out if I finally succeeded or not! Big review button below...