A/N Thanks for the review, they made my day. Sorry it's so long since the last chapter, I have exams next week and I've been revising like crazy. Hope you like it. :)
Tell you the truth I hate what didn't kill me. It never made me stronger at all. - Drunk, Ed Sheeran
Derek Shepherd stares down at his hands, water running over them. He finds it vaguely hypnotising, watching the water track down his wrist as he moves them trough the water. He keeps his eyes on the water instead of thinking about the twenty four year old patient who lies through the glass, a woman who will never wake up again. Derek grabs a towel from the side and dries his hands, staring up at the OR. Dropping the towel in to the bin he opens the door, scanning the corridor for his sister. Amy had assisted him on the surgery and Derek has assumed that they'd talk about what went wrong.
He can't see her so he starts down the corridor, pushing the doors open and coming to a halt on the walkway. Derek takes a deep breath as is eyes fall on his wife – Meredith stands down in the foyer, talking to Alex. Derek moves to the stairs and walks down them, his thoughts still on the patient he's just lost. When he reaches her, Alex politely nods and makes for the ER. Meredith turns to face him, a frustrated look on her face. "Hey,"
"What was that about?" he asks, searching her face for an answer.
"Nothing," she replies dismissively. "It's not important." The stand in companionable silence for a moment or two before Derek speaks.
"I take it you got someone to look after Bailey or…?"
"Yeah, yeah I did," she interrupts before he can finish his sentence.
"Who was up at 1 am in the morning?" he inquires, putting his hands in to his pocket.
"Um… Owen actually. He was still in his scrubs when he turned up too," Meredith replies uneasily.
"His shift ended when mine did."
"I know. He's bringing Bailey to the crèche at…" Meredith glances down at her watch and then back up to her husband; she sounds bothered by something and looks down at her watch again. "…now, or soon at least." Derek is about to ask his wife why she seems so anxious but she speaks first, answering the question he never said out loud. "Addison's there too." her voice is quite, as if she's not quite sure how he'll react.
"What? She's at our house?" he asks, then pauses, thinking about the situation. "With Owen and our son?" Meredith nods, then glances round the foyer as Derek gives her a confused look. His wife shrugs before speaking.
"She turned up, it was raining and she wanted to talk to you. What was I supposed to do, leave her on the porch?"
"She wanted to talk to me?" Meredith nods, turning slightly to look at the door. "You left her with Owen?" he asks, his eyes following her gaze.
"There both adults Derek, what do you think they're going to do? Anyway, they need to talk – you know about…." She trails off and Derek nods.
"I thought Owen went to the hotel to find her?"
"Well he said he wasn…" She trails, staring at something over her husband's right shoulder. Derek turns to see what made her stop speaking. Jake stands by the door to the ER, Amy by him. There having a heated discussion and even from where he's standing – a good 20m away – he can hear what they're saying.
"What the hell Jake?" Derek hears his sister say. "Where is she now?"
"She walked out." Jake yells back.
"You don't freaking know where your own wife is?" Amy replies in kind.
"Derek." he shouts, causing Meredith to glance over to her husband who starts over to Jake.
"Why are you bringing him in to it?"
" 'Cause he should know, she wanted to talk to him" he pauses and Amy goes to speak.
"Jak…"
"Are you sleeping with her too?" Jake's words make everyone fall silent. The argument dies and Meredith appears at her husband's side. No one speaks, both Jake and Amy expecting Derek to explain – when he doesn't Amy presses him.
"What is he talking about?" Derek glances at his wife, who has a look half of surprise and half of disbelief painted on her face.
"Why the hell would you think I was sleeping with Addison?" Jake goes to speak but someone else gets there first.
"Derek?" His ex-wife stands by the entrance, Owen next to her – Bailey in his arms. Addison has the same look on her face as Meredith as she goes to speak again. "What the hell?" Her eyes flick between her ex husband and her current husband but Owen's pager starts beeping and everyone's attention, including Addison's, go to him. Bailey lets out a small whimper and Owen shushes him and Addison takes him. Owen reads the number off his pager and then turns to Addison, he's about to speak but the doors to the ER open, revealing Bailey and Richard. Both attending's stare at the scene in front of them; Amy stares at Derek while her brother's eyes are alternate between Meredith – who stares at Jake - and his son, who is currently in his ex-wife's arms and Addison stares at Owen who's attention has now gone to Bailey. Neither quite know what to say. To make matters worse, Alex and Jo, casually chatting about what they're going to have for dinner, appear behind Richard and Bailey.
"What's the problem?" Alex says. "Why has everyone stopped?" Richard turns and Alex sees the six people and a baby who have caused the hold up. Jo leans in to him and is about to speak when the situation gets even more ridiculous as Callie and Arizona, with Sophia and Zola in toe, enter the foyer. Meredith shoots an annoyed look at Derek and goes over to Zola, picking her up then turning back to face the others. Owen takes little Bailey back and then hand him to his father. Callie goes to say something but the looks Addison gives her forces her to reconsider. Addison then shoots the same look at her husband.
"Just because I slept with one person" she starts. Her voice is angry and Owen puts a hand on her wrist to try and calm her down – this action caused a chain reaction which includes; Jake staring at his wife, Callie and Alex sharing a look, Richard whispering something about the fact that personal business at the hospital never stays private for long, Amy mouthing something like 'freaking hell' at her brother and Addison turning to face Owen. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and turns back to face him. "One person – since you left, does not mean I have started screwing every person I see, Jake. It definitely doesn't mean I have started sleeping with Derek!" Again no one knows what to say.
Addison stares round, Owen's hand still rests on her wrist and she tries to shake it off, tears forming in her eyes. Owen only holds tighter, unwilling to let her go. She continues to look around the round the foyer, wide eyed, trying to stop the tears. She puts her hand on her hip and looks down, biting her lip as she does so. Owen leans in to her and speaks, quietly.
"Don't go." For a second she doesn't understand what he's talking about but she realises before he speaks again. He's answering her question from hours ago. When she told him what Jake had asked her and then begged him to say something he had just sat down. Owen hadn't answered so they hadn't talked about it – instead, favouring to discuss other things – they talked of rain, and how common it was it Seattle, of Henry and how he was going to be okay, of their likes and dislikes and of, really, anything that was not about their relationship – no talk of the baby, no talk about her marriage, no talk about Cristina. They just didn't talk about the important things. But know, at what Addison thinks is the most inappropriate moment he could have chosen – he has replied to her question.
She wheels around, focusing on him and only him, despite the fact all of the others are staring at her. He smiles slightly and she feels the fist tear fall. Her mind spins, she doesn't know what to say to him so she, like he had earlier, refuses to say anything. Owen goes to say something but someone clears there throat. The person who cleared there throat – Derek – speaks, saying her name.
"Addison,"
"Derek," she almost snaps back, turning to face him. The air of stillness has fallen and the doctors gathered in the foyer are finally pulled from the silence. Meredith takes a few steps forward and looks at Bailey while the others start to move away. Addison glances up, her eyes falling on her Jake and Amy. Owen lets go of her arm and she instantly misses the contact.
"Jake." She says, even though her eyes are on Amy. "I," she pauses, unsure of what to say. "How's Henry?" she finally asks, flicking her eyes to his. Jake nods before speaking.
"He's doing really well… um Dr Karev said he had to have a couple more tests before he could go home and he's asleep at the moment." Jake's eyes are on the floor, his hands in his pockets.
"Okay," Addison is aware that Owen is still standing right behind her and she can't concentrate as Amy speaks.
"Do you want me to take you to see him? I've got a surgery in," She glances down at her watch, "in two hours, so I could sit with you guys for a bit?" Addison nods but Jake remains silent. Amy's eyes are on the one member of the group who feels out of place – Owen is still standing just behind Addison - his eyes focused on her. He has a look of someone who wants to say something but isn't sure if it's a good idea to speak. He glances up and for a moment he looks at Amy - conscious that she's staring at him.
"I'm going to go to the cafeteria – grab a coffee or something." Jake says, breaking the silence. He starts off and doesn't look back. Neither Amy or Addison think he actually knows where the cafeteria is. As he starts up the stairs April appears from the ER, she's looking for someone and when she sees Owen she lets out a sigh of relief.
"I didn't think you were here Dr Hunt." Owen doesn't reply to start with, he doesn't even react to her words for a moment but as April goes to speak again he nods, turning away from Addison to stare at his college.
"What's the case?" he asks, anticipating her next question and moving over to her. April fills him in as they walk towards the ER. Addison stares after them but as the turn the corner her gaze drops to the floor instead.
"Where is he?" She asks, finally looking up. Amy's eyes are on the walkway – on Derek who stands, talking to Callie and she doesn't seem to hear Addison. "Amy?" The words bring her out of her day dream and back to the current situation.
"Yeah, Come on," she says walking towards Henry. "He's this way." The walk to the room is spent in silence – Amy has dozens of questions she's dying to ask her friend but she refrains, favouring the quiet. Addison tries to focus her mind on her son, on how she can't wait to hold him again – on how wonderful it is that he's oaky. When they finally arrive, thought, Henry is asleep and the lights are off. Addison stands in the door way, watching him as his chest rises and falls. "Do you want a coffee?" Amy asks and Addison's eyes are drawn away from Henry. "You can come back and see him later, yeah?" she continues. Addison nods, following her friend to the attending lounge and taking a seat.
Amy busies herself with the drinks while Addison looks around, noticing how different the room is since she was here. "Jake told me what you talked about at the hotel." She's still facing away, pouring the coffee.
"What did he say, did he tell you were he'd spent the last month? Did he tell you he begged be to forgive him?" Her voice sounds slightly sarcastic, like she doesn't believe Jake would've told her everything.
"He told me he asks you to go back to LA."
"Oh." Amy turns and hands her a mug, filled with coffee. She holds it but doesn't drink, Addison just watches Amy drink hers. The heat from the cup makes her realises that she's really cold and she draws in closer – using it as heater. "I told Owen that he asked me to go back." Addison says, looking down at the coffee.
"You lied," Amy says after a moment's pause.
"What? I lied about what?"
"It wasn't a nurse. He told me Addison. Why didn't you say?" Addison's eyes go back to the coffee, blowing it to cool it down despite the fact she has no intention of drinking it.
"What difference does it make?" She finally says. "He still slept with her."
"I think that the fact he didn't sleep with a nurse and that he slept with Violet makes a massive difference. She was your friend, you cared about her. She shouldn't have…" Amy is almost shouting and Addison interrupts her.
"It doesn't change anything – that's why I didn't tell you Amy."
"Of course it changes things, Violet was you friend you have the right to feel angry at her, you.…." Amy keeps speaking, talking about how Addison has the right to feel betrayed, but she's zoned out. All she can think about is Jake, asking her to go back to LA and Owen, telling her not to go. She looks up at Amy and decides to tell her the other important thing she hasn't mentioned yet.
"I'm pregnant." Her words stun her friend in to silence.
A/N Please review if you have the time. :)