Chapter 10: Extreme Reactions

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To say that they were surprised, would have been an understatement of the year. They were way past surprised. At this point, between gagging on the sick pile of desperation and being scared shitless, there was just this numb disbelief that words like unreal and incomprehensible couldn't even begin to explain.

"If I were you, I would hide in the jungle until this is all over."

Nathan heard the words, but they didn't make any sense.

He watched as Jin turned his back on them, as the man walked away to the beach, watched him disappear into the darkness. All he could think was what? and what now? and I don't understand.

For it couldn't be so simple - God, let it be so simple - that the man had just let them go, that they were free, no guns, no instant terror, no threats, no death -

It just couldn't be that simple, so easy as just walking away and leaving them be, and yet, the man had done exactly that. They were free. And Nathan was glad, so very glad and relieved that he felt like sobbing but - everything was still wrong and terrible, and the pile rushed up his throat - God, Lex and Eric - and he wanted it all to be over already, and then he was suddenly on his knees and gagging and vomiting, expelling everything he had to the wet ground, his throat and eyes burning, mouth gasping for air.

"Nathan?" Taylor's voice was coming from somewhere behind him, barely audible over the heaving and retching. "Nathan - are you…is everything…" But she couldn't seem to finish her sentence, and he could see her now, in the edges of his vision; she was hovering near him, uncertain and small and scared.

Pull yourself together man! Right now!

He had to pull himself together, he couldn't lose it now, not now. He had emptied his stomach already - his last meal had been hours ago, and it had only consisted of fruit and water - and now he was just heaving air. Nathan tried to get his breathing under control, tried to quell the lurching motions of his stomach, the overwhelming urge to just continue to vomit everything he had inside out of him.

He had to stop. He had to calm down. Nathan could feel his face burn with embarrassment and willed himself to stop. But everything that had happened was rushing over him and it was all horrible and too much.

"Nathan?…" Taylor moved closer to him, as if to touch his shoulder, but stopped before making the contact. He was freaking her out.

Just calm down. You're scaring them.

And then he realised he couldn't see Daley. Couldn't hear her. And that new wave of panic suddenly cleared his head, made him forget the uneasiness of his stomach, the smell and taste of vomit clinging to him. The knowledge that she was not ok, that somehow he had managed to lose her, halted his own breakdown moment more effectively than anything else could have.

As Nathan tried to wipe away the sour taste from his mouth with his sleeve, he was already pushing himself up and twisting around, searching. Taylor was looking at him with wide eyes, and behind her, - thank God - Daley was standing, motionless and quiet.

But any relief that Nathan had felt seeing that she was still there, that he had not lost her, was short lived, when he took in her still form, her rigid expression and blank eyes. He suddenly felt helpless, couldn't think of anything to say to her, anything at all.

What do you say to someone who has just lost her brother?

NO! Lex was not - he was not - not yet. They still had time, time to do something, time to fix this, time to make everything all right again. It was not over, it could not be.

"Daley, it's not over." He took a step towards her, but she didn't seem to notice. "Daley…this is not…" The words struggled to come out of his mouth as he stepped even more closer to her transfixed form. "It's not over. Daley-" Her eyes continued to stare into nothingness. Nathan didn't know, if she even heard his half pleading, half persuading words.

"Daley please, look at me." He put his hands carefully on her arms, felt how she was shuddering under his touch. She didn't look at him.

"I promise - I promise we will get him back." He squeezed her arms harder, battled his shaking tone to firmness. "We will get Lex back Daley. I promise."

At last, something flickered in her eyes, and then she lifted her face towards his, and the utter bleakness, the sadness in her squashed his heart, and he wanted to choke out I am sorry but couldn't.

Instead, he repeated again, "We'll get Lex back. I promise." In that moment, Nathan thought he would have probably promised half the Milky Way just to get her despairing expression to disappear and to stay gone forever.

"We'll get him back." Daley's voice was half a question, half a statement; a sweet sound to Nathan's ears.

"Yeah. We'll figure out a way to get both of them back. But you - we - need to pull ourselves together now before we can do that."

His words seemed to finally penetrate her shock, and Nathan could see how she struggled to breath evenly, how a new kind of resolve and determination gained ground in her. The fear and desperation was pushed back, and an urgency to act took their place.

Daley moved out of his hold. "We need to follow them." She walked past him, her eyes fixed to the direction Jin had went.

"Wait a minute!" Nathan quickly moved to her side, his hand grasping a hold of her arm again. "We have to think-"

"No! We cannot lose them!" Daley struggled to get out of his hold, but Nathan firmly held onto her. He couldn't let her rush headlong after the men.

"We won't lose-"

"Let me go! We have already lost too much time - we have to catch up with them!" Daley tried vigorously to pull herself free, and Nathan could tell that any minute now she would resort to punches and kicks.

"I know where they are going!" His shout stilled her, and she turned to look at him, but still, he didn't dare to break his hold on her.

"I know the clearing where Eric said he hid the money. They are going there." And suddenly it hit him that they were all going there, that Jin had left to get the money, he had to be following Cole to get the money, for it was the only reason that made any sense, but God knew if nothing made sense anymore anyway, and now they had to somehow deal with two thugs with guns, not just one, and he had no idea how they were going to do that.

"Daley - we just can't rush into this. We have to think this through."

She was shaking her head, before he had even finished his sentence. "We don't have the time."

"The man said we should hide." Taylor's voice rang out unexpectedly; Nathan had forgotten that she was there.

"You can hide, but I am not waiting for Lex to be killed!" Daley was furious.

"Daley, what are you going to do, when we find them?" He had to made her see that it wouldn't be so simple as just marching into the clearing and snatching Lex back. But as he was saying the words, he knew that Daley knew that - she just didn't care.

"Let me go." Her voice was low, serious, warning him. If he wouldn't let her go, she would hate his guts forever, never forgiving him. And he knew she was right; there was no time anymore to argue and hesitate. When Jin would catch up with Cole, the leader would know that everything had changed - that they were free, and that Jin had in all likelihood just betrayed him, and then Lex's life would be worth nothing. And even if they had all the time in the world to think it all through, he doubted that they could come up with any plan that didn't involve them rushing up to the rescue (and quite possibly to their deaths).

He let go of her arm.

Instantly, Daley started to jog towards the beach, and he hurried to catch up with her, not waiting to see if Taylor would follow them or not. As he stumbled in the darkness, trying to reach Daley's retreating back, he prayed that he hadn't just made promises to her that he couldn't keep.

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Melissa had waited forever.

She did not know exactly how long; it could have been half an hour, two hours, days and weeks, since Jackson had disappeared among the waves. Although it probably wasn't days, as the night had stayed dark and cold, but who knew, maybe the sun had also decided to go AWOL.

Jackson had been gone too long. But she would not think of that.

No, there were other things she had to think about, like how much drinking water they had back in camp, and how many fruits they still had in the food container (she remembered there had been some bananas left from breakfast and God she was hungry), and if she had any clean clothes, and whether she should do the laundry sooner rather than later.

Melissa was in the same spot she had last been, when she had still distinguished Jackson's form in the darkness. She was sitting now, sneakers buried in the sand, knees drawn to her chest, arms around her legs. For the longest of time, she had stood and watched the sea, trying to see him swimming back to the beach, but there had been nothing but the sea and the darkness, and her legs had gone numb. Jackson had told her to hide in the edge of the jungle, but she couldn't see him from there, and she had to watch the sea, the waves, for any minute now, he was going to stumble back to the beach, and Melissa needed to be there to catch him if he fell.

Maybe he isn't coming back.

And yeah, it had been too long, but any minute now.

She shivered from cold, and drew her knees closer to her chest, trapping the bundle of his clothes tightly in between. Perhaps it would have been warmer, if she had walked little along the beach, but in the darkness she could have lost the spot, where he went to the sea, and maybe she wouldn't find it again, and so she couldn't really move. Melissa saw the dark bulk of the ship from her spot, saw the goal, but she couldn't see him. There were no lights on the boat.

And then she thought, maybe he couldn't find the spot in the darkness, and why hadn't she thought of it before? Perhaps he had already swam to the shore, far away from her, and of course she had missed him then. He might be laying on the sand somewhere, maybe he was too tired to call her name, or it could be that he hadn't seen her at all, and he had went to look for her in the jungle, for he had told her to stay there. It could have happened like that.

And maybe he isn't coming back.

She pulled her gaze from the ocean reluctantly, and looked to her right and then to her left, but the beach was as straight and even as it had been, when they had gotten there, no shapes, no bumps, no Jackson. The bay was empty, except for Melissa and the sand and the sea.

The wind had died down a little, its fingers just biting, and not bruising her skin anymore. But she couldn't tell for sure; the waves looked just as enormous as ever, and the ocean's roar drowned out the restless rustling of the forest. But the wind could be subduing, she felt it was, and then also the sea would calm down, and it would be easier to swim back. Maybe Jackson was tired, and he was waiting back at the ship for the weather to quiet down.

He has been gone too long.

And although Melissa couldn't separate seconds from minutes and minutes from hours, she was pretty certain that the minute had already went, and another after it, but maybe not, for she had no clock and you couldn't really tell time without a clock, and thank God she had no clock.

The dark clouds shifted again, letting the silver moon peek at the island. For a moment, the lines were starker, the shadows darker, and Melissa could see the ship and the waves beating its hull more clearly. There were no heads in the water, no floating bodies. The clouds shifted and veiled the moon. It was like shutters had been drawn around her; the darkness entangled everything in its grasp.

She had waited forever. She would wait forever.

Melissa pressed Jackson's clothes tighter against her chest, tried to somehow warm them, dry them, so he would not feel so cold, when he came back. But the fabric of his t-shirt and jeans were damp and cool, her skin too cold to heat them up. His jacket was heavy on her shoulders, water having soaked through it; nonetheless, she was glad he had given it to her.

He is never going to wear it again.

It was just on loan; she would give it back to him to moment he came back.

The moon pushed through the clouds, suddenly so bright and round, and something/somebody rose from the water and was stumbling through the waves and oh! she was standing and running and maybe crying, and then she was dragging him out of the ocean into the beach and hugging him to her, pressing his cold (God, freezing!) wet body against hers and saying something that sounded like, "You're so stupid, God that was so stupid - don't ever - I was so scared! Jackson!"

He sagged against her, exhausted and weary, his body nothing but dead weight, and she struggled to hold them both up, but couldn't, and they went down in a tangle of legs and arms. She hugged him tighter.

Jackson was breathing rough and irregular; his heartbeat erratic against her chest - or maybe it was her own heart, beating wildly with joy and fear and relief.

"You were gone for so long - I waited forever and I thought…you were gone too long and I couldn't see you - I couldn't see you."

Melissa felt him struggle to draw air, but she couldn't let go of him, she couldn't, and his hands were wrapped around her tightly, his fingers burying into her shirt, bruising her skin. Jackson's head was pressed against her shoulder, his wet mob of hair plastered to her neck and cheek.

They stayed that way for a long time, she couldn't really tell how long, (for she had no clock) while the moon shone on them, and their heartbeats slowed down, and each breath was more easier to draw than the last. He shuddered, and his bare skin was clammy under her touch, and she remembered that she should return the jacket to him. And his clothes!

"Jackson - God, you're freezing." Melissa didn't want to let go of him, but he was shivering violently now, and she had to get him to warm up. "Your clothes - you have to get warmer, you're so cold - " She pushed, and he released his hold, and they disengaged from each other reluctantly. "I'll go get your clothes - put this on." She took the jacket off and draped it over his shoulders, and where the hell had she left his clothes? She spied the bundle of clothing further down the beach, sprinted there, grabbed the clothes and the sneakers and ran back to Jackson, who was still kneeling in the sand and had drawn his arms around his naked chest.

"Here - they are still a little wet and I - I dropped them in the sand, sorry, but it's better than nothing, I'm sorry." He took the clothes and his shoes from her, his hands shaking, and as he moved, the jacket slid from his shoulders to the ground.

"I got it." She stooped down to pick it up, and then just stood anxiously, watching as Jackson dressed slowly with uncertain fingers. She wanted to help, but didn't know if she should. As soon as he was done, she put the jacket back around his shoulders.

He had yet to say a word.

"Is it better now? I know, the jacket is still wet, but it keeps the wind out and you'll get warmer - maybe we can make a fire or get you some dry clothes, or do a little running and jumping and you'll get warmed up soon." Melissa knew she was rambling, talking aimlessly about things they both knew were out of their reach (dry clothes! fire!), but she couldn't stop. He was so quiet, so withdrawn, and he had finally come back, but something wasn't right at all.

She started to run her hands over his arms, over and over again, trying to rub some warmth into them. "Jackson…what's wrong? I know you're cold, but it's going to get better soon." She was starting to feel scared again. His was still trembling, the tremors travelled up and down his form and jumped to Melissa's own body, when her fingers made contact with his cool skin.

"Was somebody on the ship? Did you…? Did you find the radio? Did someone…?"

The halting, hesitant questions seemed to finally break through Jackson's stupor, and he lifted his head to look at her, his eyes clouded and his mouth drawn in a tight line. His laugh was short and manic and ended in a violent cough.

"Jackson…?"

"I failed - I…I tried to radio us help, but there was just that damn static and I - I called and called and I tried everything but I don't know if someone heard - no one answered back - I called but no one answered…" He sounded defeated and lost. "I couldn't - I'm sorry."

Melissa did the only thing she could; she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "It's okay. You're here. It's okay." Somehow, she couldn't feel too disappointed that the plan had come to nothing, that no help was on the way for them. He had come back - God he is alive - and that was more than okay.

She was hugging him, he was here, it was okay, and everything else had to just wait their turn.

"How touching." The voice was deep and rough and amused, and it didn't belong to either one of them. Melissa's heart beat faster, and she felt how Jackson froze, and she didn't want to turn around, didn't want to let him go, and they weren't alone anymore.

And someone was standing behind her.

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So, the reactions were a little extreme, but I hope they were still believable. What do you think of the direction the story is going? As always, I would like to "hear" your comments, suggestions, and thoughts!

In the next chapter, we see Mel and Jackson in some deep trouble, and catch a glimpse of Cole, Lex and Eric.