I'm back for another one! These are so entertaining to write heheh XD
Fanfiction Trauma
Oh and thanks Stefi for that compliment on how I'm writing Blake. I was so self-conscious on how I'd write her. That pep talk was all I needed!
Chapter 10: Crack Pairing
Morgan made his way over to where Kevin was hunched over. "Hey buddy... you okay?"
Kevin glared at him before facing away.
"I'm sorry man, I honestly didn't mean for that to happen. I just wanted to joke around a bit. We need you on this." He extended his hand out. "So what do you say; will you help us understand fanfiction?"
Kevin stared at the hand briefly before accepting the help to stand. "Alright, I'll help."
"Way to go Kevin!" Garcia cheered.
Blake nodded approvingly. "That's the spirit."
He cracked his knuckles. "I'm a lot tougher than I look; it'll take a lot more than fanfiction to bring me down."
Will placed his arm around him. "We bashed people need to stick together."
He chuckled. "Yeah no kidding."
"Yeah, now go on and read another one." Morgan said.
"Nice try, don't press your luck. There's one thing you should learn about me and that is that I don't get fooled twice."
"So who hasn't read?" JJ asked. She didn't notice Reid sweating like a fountain.
"Who wants to read?" Blake said before sighing at the lack of volunteers. "Well don't everyone volunteer at once."
"Hey I've read twice already." Morgan replied before crossing his arms. "Count me out."
No one noticed Reid silently making a beeline for the exit to his room.
"I say you should read Derek." Will said. "If it weren't for you none of us would even be here."
"I told you it was Penelope who got me in here."
"Oh that's real mature Derek, just go and blame it on someone else." JJ added.
"Rossi you read." Morgan said.
"It can't be me." Rossi replied. "There's no way I'm risking going into cardiac arrest by reading."
"Surely there must be another way to settle this." Blake exclaimed.
"Wait a minute..." Morgan said as a dawning realization began sinking in. "Hey baby girl, has pretty boy read one yet?"
"Um... now that I think about it no, no he hasn't."
Reid had just made it to the exit when he felt several eyes burning a hole in his back. He risked a look behind his shoulders and his fear was confirmed; all eyes were trained on him.
"And just where do you think you're going?" Morgan asked.
"Oh uh... the bathroom." He lied.
"Nice try kid." Rossi said before pulling him over to the seat. "It's your turn now."
"Aww... do I have to?" Reid whined.
Blake patted his shoulder. "Don't worry Reid we'll right by your side the whole time."
Garcia went to his other side and nodded. "Yeah we won't let you go through it by yourself."
This served to reassure him and he began scanning the list of stories.
"Hey Derek," Will called. "I bet ya twenty that it'll suck."
"Man you're crazy if you think I'm taking you up on that. They all suck."
"Alright I'll admit I was tryna sucker you," he confessed. "But how bout' this, I bet ya twenty that it won't be as bad as the one we just read."
Morgan smirked. "Alright I'm game." This was an easy twenty bucks for him. If Will had known better then he'd know that each story was worse than its previous one.
"Got one." Reid said.
They all huddled by the laptop and attempted to find a seat. Just as they did Reid spoke up.
"Done."
"Done?" Rossi repeated.
"Yeah I read it."
"Hey uh kid, you mind reading a bit slower for us average Joes here?" Morgan asked sarcastically.
"Yeah in case you've forgotten we don't have an advanced brain like you hotshot." Garcia added.
"Oh yeah! Sorry about that." He apologized. "I can read it more slowly for you guys."
"When you put it like that you make me feel like a kid wearing a dunce hat." Blake said earning some laughs.
"Maybe Spencer should pick another one out," Kevin suggested. "I know it's contradicting the rules but he already knows what's gonna happen; that kinda takes the element of surprise out."
"You know what you're right." Garcia agreed with a nod. "Reid, I order you to pick out another one."
"Aww!" Will groaned. "How come he's allowed to bypass the rules?"
"Don't pout Willy, Kevin has a valid point." Garcia said. "None of us are supposed to know the details of a story beforehand when selecting one."
"But that ain't a rule." He protested again.
"It is now Willy. It's rule number four."
"Got one." Reid called out.
Midnight Discoveries
"I hope this isn't another one of those 'suddenly a BAU member realizes their feelings' type of story, because they're getting so annoying." Morgan said.
"That's putting it mildly." JJ agreed.
By xoCMGirlxo
Summary: Things with JJ and Will haven't been going so smoothly—
"Do all these stories have to insult me?!" Will snapped. "I can already tell I'm gonna be the target here."
"Don't worry my fellow bashed brother; I'll stand by you to the end." Kevin assured him with a fisted hand over his heart. "Because like you said, us character bashed guys need to stick together."
"Appreciate that. It feels good to know that I ain't the only bashed person here."
and they're beginning to drift apart. But what happens when someone from the BAU is thrown into the mix. New feelings will be made but will the other be so accepting of this newfound love?
"Hmm... sounds interesting." Morgan said. "And that's saying something considering what we've been reading."
"Yeah," Garcia nodded with a smirk. "It sounds like one of you has a dirty secret."
Will scoffed. "I can already see it; I've been cheating on JJ and she realizes she's never loved me and in reality is in love with one of you guys. I then realize she's gonna dump me, so I kidnap her because I love her and won't let anyone else have her. I then get shot and JJ and whoever it is from your team she likes live happily ever after."
Rossi laughed. "I wouldn't be surprised if you guessed it."
JJ arrived to her house and—
"Finds me with another woman," Will commented with a bored tone. "Or finds Henry has been kidnapped by me. It's one of those two."
"They've gotten so predictable." JJ added.
noticed Will had been waiting for her.
"Hey you're late." He said and pulled her in for a hug.
"Yeah and I'm exhausted so can we not do this?" And she pulled away and headed to their room.
"Well that was unexpected." Reid said. "I thought for sure Will would've thrown JJ over his shoulders and ride away on his scary, black van."
"Me too." Garcia added. "Especially since it's pretty clear this fandom hates Willy."
He sighed. This had become a sad routine by now. He thought that it was just a phase they had to get through. But lately that gap between them had been growing and growing. And this time it had nothing to do with the distance.
"What?" JJ growled not liking where this was headed.
"With the way this is starting it's making it look like Will is the victim." Rossi said.
"Don't count on it," Will chimed in. "None of them ever benefit me. I'm just waiting for my character to snap and kidnap one of them."
The next morning, as he'd expected, JJ was gone and had already left to work. Unfortunately for him this was his day off so he was stuck with his thoughts for the rest of the day.
He killed time by cleaning the house and watching some football on TV. He looked up and noticed that it was late, very late. Knowing that it was useless to call her -as she'd never pick up- he walked out and headed to the bar.
"I agree with Rossi, it doesn't look like you're about to be character bashed Will." Blake said using the new fanfiction vocabulary she'd just learned.
"You can tell from the tone of the story that it isn't trying to bash you, instead it seems to be giving the readers an insight into your struggles." Reid added.
"I don't know," Will said with skepticism. "I still think I'm about to kidnap her."
"Why am I being so stupid here?" JJ asked with a frown. "I wouldn't ignore Will like this."
Will ordered his usual and leaned down on the counter. He was too engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the person approaching him.
"Here's the part where I kidnap JJ."
"Hey fancy seeing you here."
The familiar voice made him shift his head. "Oh, didn't expect to see you here Emily."
"Emily?" JJ barked incredulously.
"Emily?" Morgan repeated. "That's like the last person I had in mind."
Rossi shook his head. "And no surprise that it takes place before Blake joined us."
"Oh don't worry Rossi; it doesn't bother me at all that I'm hardly in any of these stories." Blake replied. "To be honest I'm grateful."
"Mind if I sit?" She asked.
"Nah go ahead."
His faraway look didn't escape Emily. "So how have you been?"
"Fine." He answered with a shrug.
"So I take it that the one being thrown into the mix is Emily." Rossi stated as he recalled the summary.
"Then that also means that the new feelings being created are between you two." Kevin added.
JJ twitched. "Excuse me?"
"Me and Emily?" Will said in disbelief. "We barely speak. I mean sure we're friends and all but I barely see her."
"I definitely did not see this coming." Garcia exclaimed.
"I think we've stumbled onto a story that has a 'crack pairing'." Kevin explained.
"The hell is crack pairing?" Morgan asked.
"It's basically when you pair up two people whom you'd never think would get together."
JJ frowned. "Who'd want to pair them two together?"
Morgan chuckled. "Someone who's addicted to crack."
"Haha, nice." Will said.
She nodded and decided not to press the issue anymore. It hadn't escaped her, or anyone's mind that his relationship had been crumbling.
"I don't know why..." he started. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
Emily eyed him sympathetically. She couldn't even understand how JJ could be so stupid.
"Wait... am I being character bashed?"
Rossi smirked. "I guess none of us are placed out of the bashing category."
Will had the biggest smile on his face. "I can't believe it... I'm not being bashed. This is a miracle!"
"We're drifting apart Emily." He said softly.
Emily cringed at his pained voice. She then pulled him in for an embrace.
JJ twitched. She was beginning to understand why Will would get so worked up over the stories that paired her up with someone but him.
The others in the room noticed the dangerous aura emitting from their media liaison turned profiler, and slowly crept back a few feet. Poor Reid was the only one who couldn't move to a safe distance since he was the reader.
She knew from the very beginning that JJ wasn't committed to Will as he was to her. And she knew he deserved better than JJ; he deserved someone like herself who truly loved him.
He had embraced her back. Will couldn't explain it but he hadn't felt this kind of warmth in so long. It'd been so long since he'd felt comfort.
JJ shot Will a look.
He chuckled nervously. "Heh, oh man JJ the stuff these guys write down... am I right? Huh am I right?"
And that was when reality hit him across the face. Why should he continue pursuing JJ? She was nothing like he'd imagined. She was just someone who liked shoving her vile nature down your throat, and he was sick of that.
Reid knew JJ was behind him ready to pounce and he wasn't sure he'd be able to safely get out of her way.
So he decided to take a chance. Will broke the hug and placed a hand to Emily's cheek. He could see the acceptance in her eyes; without another thought he closed the gap and caught her lips with his.
"How in the world could Emily have feelings for Will?!" JJ snapped. "It makes absolutely no sense at all to pair them together!"
"Don't worry hun I got no feelings for her," Will assured her as he cowered behind Garcia's shoulder. "Although I gotta say at least for once I'm not being character bashed. We can call that a win."
JJ sent him a death glare.
"Or not." He gulped.
She returned it full force and slipped her arms around him. They had no cares for the repercussions this escapade would bring. All they knew was that it felt right.
AN - That's all for now guys. More will be explained when I update so stay tuned. Don't worry about JJ because she will be dumped eventually and Will can finally be with Emily. Because JJ sucks! Seaver should've stayed instead of her.
Reid sighed in relief. "Thank goodness it's over."
"These people are harsh." Kevin said. "I bet they'd actually kill us if they saw us in person."
"Oh that reminds me," Will muttered before turning to Morgan. "Hey Derek I want my twenty."
"Are you kidding me this sucked even more than the last one." He protested.
"I disagree." Kevin said.
"And I agree with him," Rossi added. "The one before had more bashing than this one and at least JJ didn't get violently shot in this one."
"Plus she had minimal appearances." Reid exclaimed. "And thus wasn't bashed as much."
Will smirked. "The jury has spoken so pony up."
Morgan sighed and pulled out his wallet.
They then all stared at the empty spot on the chair. The occupants exchanged glances amongst each other and then back to the chair.
"So..." Blake murmured. "Here we are again."
Morgan pulled out his phone. "It's time for me to save the day."
"Who are you gonna call?" Reid grumbled as Morgan began dialing the number.
"Ghostsbusters!" Kevin joked only to receive blank stares. "Sorry, couldn't help it."
At that moment Morgan got his answer.
"Hey Morgan, this is a surprise." Seaver said from the other line; she hadn't expected the call.
"I know since your transfer we haven't really gotten in touch, but I thought today we'd change that." Morgan said with a mischievous smile he knew she wouldn't see. "How about you head on over to my— I mean Reid's house?"
"Okay sure, but uh why Reid's house?"
"Let's just say he's been dying to see you."
"What? No I haven't!"
As usual Morgan ignored Reid. "So see you here girl." And with that he ended the call.
JJ sighed. "So does anyone else find it sad that we're being banded together by fanfiction instead of a nice alternative?" She received a nod from everyone in the room. "Good, thought it was just me."
Author's Notes
This pairing is extremely rare in this fandom, hence why it's considered crack pairing.
And yet again Derek is inviting another unsuspecting soul to have to witness Fanfiction dot net. Seaver will definitely be regretting this. Also I am saving the best for last my friends.